The list was promoted by Giants2008 via FACBot ( talk) 00:27, 12 July 2021 (UTC) [1]. reply
List of marches composed by John Philip Sousa ( | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
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I am nominating this for featured list because it is a comprehensive list which contains almost everything related to the topic, including title and year of composition, brief description, audio files and images. It was originally a redirect page, redirecting to List of compositions by John Philip Sousa, but I think the topic deserved its separate list. It is a long list consisting of 136 marches Sousa composed. Marches and description is suitably cited. Appreciate any feedback. Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 08:30, 15 June 2021 (UTC) reply
Resolved comments from Aoba47 ( talk) 03:26, 16 June 2021 (UTC) reply |
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I received a request on my talk page to help with this FLC. While I have done work on music articles and lists, this is outside of my comfort zone, but hopefully, that will help to provide an outside perspective. My comments are below:
I hope my comments are at least somewhat helpful. I have focused on the prose and I will leave the sources and images to another reviewer. I hope you have a great week! Aoba47 ( talk) 21:29, 15 June 2021 (UTC) reply
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Resolved comments from ChrisTheDude ( talk) 14:51, 17 June 2021 (UTC) reply |
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Will I was going to leave some non-source comments but there's really nothing to say. My only non-source quibble would be this:
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Resolved comments from The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 17:23, 4 July 2021 (UTC) reply |
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In the image caption, I'm not sure why "Music" is capitalised?
That's all I have on a quick pass. The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 10:04, 23 June 2021 (UTC) reply |
@ WP:FLC director and delegates: Just a note that I have responded to everything. "Is there a consensus for promotion of this nomination?" Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 12:07, 2 July 2021 (UTC) reply
Resolved comments from ~ HAL 333 18:24, 9 July 2021 (UTC) reply |
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* References need to be centered.
That's all I got. ~ HAL 333 16:34, 4 July 2021 (UTC) reply
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Resolved comments from Tim riley talk 17:48, 8 July 2021 (UTC) reply |
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The nominator was kind enough to invite me to comment. I'll do so in detail (if any) after a careful read-through, but from a swift gallop through just now I see a hole in the "University of Nebraska" row, where words have, I think, been accidentally deleted. More anon. Tim riley talk 18:43, 7 July 2021 (UTC) reply
You may regret asking for my comments. Two general points stand out. First you are inconsistent with definite and indefinite articles. In a list of this sort, as opposed to a piece of prose, it would probably be OK to omit the article in e.g. "Evangeline Booth of Salvation Army. It premiered in New York on fiftieth anniversary of Salvation Army", or "on joint request of" if you omitted definite articles consistently, but you don't – we have, e.g. "the Smithsonian Institution" It would be best, I think, to include definite and indefinite articles whenever normal prose usage would require them. The second point is the curious choice of prepositions in connection with "request". You start off in normal English with "Sousa composed this march at the request of a California based drill team" – "at the request of…" is what one would expect to see, but thereafter we have "upon the request of", "upon request of", "on joint request from" and "upon request by", none of which are normal English usage. My recommendation is to change all these to "at the request of". I have picked out the ones I spotted, but there may possibly be some I have missed. Detailed comments:
Apologies for such a long list of quibbles, but you did ask! Tim riley talk 12:46, 8 July 2021 (UTC) reply
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This looks and reads fine and I would support FL. There is one thing which may be worthy of explanation in a note, if not in the text. You mention that "Review" was his first published march, and that it has the opus number 5. The reader (or anyway this reader) immediately queries, what were opp. 1-4? Were they also marches, which have been lost? Were they a different musical genre? Or do we just not know? A little clarification, even if the answer is that we don't know, would be good. You might also be explicit (if it is indeed the case, as it appears to be) that this is his only work with an opus number (there are no opus numbers at all in the List of compositions by John Philip Sousa). Best, -- Smerus ( talk) 22:12, 8 July 2021 (UTC) reply
"It was called Opus 5 and was dedicated to Colonel William G. Moore"Nevertheless, I have rephrased it. Thanks for your support! Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 04:12, 9 July 2021 (UTC) reply
The list was promoted by Giants2008 via FACBot ( talk) 00:27, 12 July 2021 (UTC) [1]. reply
List of marches composed by John Philip Sousa ( | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
Toolbox |
---|
I am nominating this for featured list because it is a comprehensive list which contains almost everything related to the topic, including title and year of composition, brief description, audio files and images. It was originally a redirect page, redirecting to List of compositions by John Philip Sousa, but I think the topic deserved its separate list. It is a long list consisting of 136 marches Sousa composed. Marches and description is suitably cited. Appreciate any feedback. Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 08:30, 15 June 2021 (UTC) reply
Resolved comments from Aoba47 ( talk) 03:26, 16 June 2021 (UTC) reply |
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;Comments
I received a request on my talk page to help with this FLC. While I have done work on music articles and lists, this is outside of my comfort zone, but hopefully, that will help to provide an outside perspective. My comments are below:
I hope my comments are at least somewhat helpful. I have focused on the prose and I will leave the sources and images to another reviewer. I hope you have a great week! Aoba47 ( talk) 21:29, 15 June 2021 (UTC) reply
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Resolved comments from ChrisTheDude ( talk) 14:51, 17 June 2021 (UTC) reply |
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;Comments
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Will I was going to leave some non-source comments but there's really nothing to say. My only non-source quibble would be this:
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Resolved comments from The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 17:23, 4 July 2021 (UTC) reply |
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In the image caption, I'm not sure why "Music" is capitalised?
That's all I have on a quick pass. The Rambling Man ( Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 10:04, 23 June 2021 (UTC) reply |
@ WP:FLC director and delegates: Just a note that I have responded to everything. "Is there a consensus for promotion of this nomination?" Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 12:07, 2 July 2021 (UTC) reply
Resolved comments from ~ HAL 333 18:24, 9 July 2021 (UTC) reply |
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* References need to be centered.
That's all I got. ~ HAL 333 16:34, 4 July 2021 (UTC) reply
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Resolved comments from Tim riley talk 17:48, 8 July 2021 (UTC) reply |
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;Comments
The nominator was kind enough to invite me to comment. I'll do so in detail (if any) after a careful read-through, but from a swift gallop through just now I see a hole in the "University of Nebraska" row, where words have, I think, been accidentally deleted. More anon. Tim riley talk 18:43, 7 July 2021 (UTC) reply
You may regret asking for my comments. Two general points stand out. First you are inconsistent with definite and indefinite articles. In a list of this sort, as opposed to a piece of prose, it would probably be OK to omit the article in e.g. "Evangeline Booth of Salvation Army. It premiered in New York on fiftieth anniversary of Salvation Army", or "on joint request of" if you omitted definite articles consistently, but you don't – we have, e.g. "the Smithsonian Institution" It would be best, I think, to include definite and indefinite articles whenever normal prose usage would require them. The second point is the curious choice of prepositions in connection with "request". You start off in normal English with "Sousa composed this march at the request of a California based drill team" – "at the request of…" is what one would expect to see, but thereafter we have "upon the request of", "upon request of", "on joint request from" and "upon request by", none of which are normal English usage. My recommendation is to change all these to "at the request of". I have picked out the ones I spotted, but there may possibly be some I have missed. Detailed comments:
Apologies for such a long list of quibbles, but you did ask! Tim riley talk 12:46, 8 July 2021 (UTC) reply
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This looks and reads fine and I would support FL. There is one thing which may be worthy of explanation in a note, if not in the text. You mention that "Review" was his first published march, and that it has the opus number 5. The reader (or anyway this reader) immediately queries, what were opp. 1-4? Were they also marches, which have been lost? Were they a different musical genre? Or do we just not know? A little clarification, even if the answer is that we don't know, would be good. You might also be explicit (if it is indeed the case, as it appears to be) that this is his only work with an opus number (there are no opus numbers at all in the List of compositions by John Philip Sousa). Best, -- Smerus ( talk) 22:12, 8 July 2021 (UTC) reply
"It was called Opus 5 and was dedicated to Colonel William G. Moore"Nevertheless, I have rephrased it. Thanks for your support! Kavyansh.Singh ( talk) 04:12, 9 July 2021 (UTC) reply