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BlueMoonset, I'm glad you approve of the edits I made to Uttanka, and that the article has been rated as a good article. I agree with the edits you made just after mine, at [1], but I wanted to ask you and Rothorpe about one of them. It's not a big deal. It's just something to ponder.
You changed "are called" to "have been called". Normally, I would say that present perfect tense should follow anything like "Since then", and the "are called" may sound like ungrammatical and/or Indian English there. However, Nvvchar just told me that Uttanka and the others are characters in a larger collection of stories in Indian mythology. That suggests to me that this is closer to fiction than non-fiction, and when we discuss characters and plot, etc., in fiction, we often use simple present tense even if discussing things which, within the story, seem to have happened in the past. If the naming of the clouds after Uttanka is within the mythological stories – perhaps carrying over into Indian customs, perhaps not – wouldn't simple present tense make sense here? Present perfect tense (ever since then...have been called) would really only make sense if we are referring to a current custom stemming from a real historical event in the past, unless you think that it would also be appropriate to use when referring to a current custom that began in a very old mythological story. Do you see what I mean? I'm not sure of the answer. I'd be interested in your thoughts. Corinne ( talk) 03:42, 7 September 2015 (UTC)
"However," says Krishna, "I will keep my word. Sudden clouds will shower water in the desert; they shall be called 'Utanka-clouds' always".Perhaps "From then on" should be "from that moment" or "from that day", or you might have another solution; I didn't want to make a major change to the sentence, and dealing with mythology/religious tales is complicated—to treat it as if it were fiction makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure whether this is helpful or not. BlueMoonset ( talk) 04:25, 7 September 2015 (UTC)
West Virginian Did you get this ping? Corinne ( talk) 01:32, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
There are some films waiting for assessment in Wikipedia:WikiProject Film/Assessment. Please consider. -- 106.66.180.39 ( talk) 13:20, 12 September 2015 (UTC)
Hi.
I don't think the "family curse" section should be there as it's conspiracy theory nonsense, but having already been sent abusive threats by monarchist editors, I'm reluctant to remove it on my own. Can you help me with what to do. I'll send this message to others i trust and admins as well. Paul Benjamin Austin ( talk) 02:29, 13 September 2015 (UTC)
Transection of a human
head
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: High diving • Plain dress Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:11, 14 September 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hello, Corrine. Would you be interested in giving this 2005 Tamil film a copyedit? Do let me know. Thanks. — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 09:23, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
The Premium Reviewer Barnstar | ||
Corinne, I hereby award you The Premium Reviewer Barnstar for your extraordinary copyedits and reviews of Samuel Lightfoot Flournoy (West Virginia senator), Samuel Lightfoot Flournoy (West Virginia lawyer), Literary Hall, Thayer Melvin, Romney Academy, Romney Classical Institute, Joseph Sprigg (attorney general), John Baker White (Virginia), John Baker White (West Virginia politician), Robert White (judge), Charles M. Williams (academic), and Joshua Soule Zimmerman. Your precision, diligence, and grammatical prowess are greatly cherished, and the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors is an even more valuable resource because you are a part of it! -- West Virginian (talk) 14:20, 17 September 2015 (UTC) |
I'm having a dispute with an editor at Talk:Number 1 to Infinity/GA1 over some grammar/English usage and I'm wondering if you could take a few moments and look the article over. I saw your edits to Thayer Melvin and thought that were very helpful, so I though of you for this other GAN.-- Sturmvogel 66 ( talk) 18:31, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
"Boy on white horse" by
Theodor Kittelsen
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Head • High diving Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:10, 21 September 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Thanks for Anniyan's copyedit. This is the next article that I have worked on for GA. User:Kailash29792 is the main contributor to the article though and he has posted a copyedit request at GOCE. Do let me and Kailash29792 know if you would be interested in giving a good copyedit for Moodu Pani. Thanks. — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 13:30, 20 September 2015 (UTC)
Ssven2 and Kailash29792 I haven't yet looked at the article, but if it is at all interesting to me, I'd be glad to work on it. I'm going to copy-edit another article now, and when I finish that, I'll look at Moodu Pani and probably accept the assignment at GOCE. I'll probably get to it in a couple of hours from now. Corinne ( talk) 21:16, 20 September 2015 (UTC)
Hello. I appreciate your input, but I myself am pretty experienced in reviewing good article nominations and have had a fair few promoted myself. So if you were implying that I should pay more attention based on Sturmvogel 66 having reviewed more, then I am slightly disgruntled by that, as it's not about numbers and no-one is better than anyone else. Anyway, if you are saying that the song attained number-one status and it's not Mariah who does, then why is she credited with holding the record for most solo number-ones if you say it's not her who is number-one? She wrote them, she produced them, without her they wouldn't have existed to be number-one in the first place. They are her number-ones. She has attained five more since the release of her previous number-ones album, that cannot be disputed. This is not an FAC, and I don't believe this part needs changing. The alternative you proposed indicates that she released number-one singles, which is incorrect as you don't release a number-one knowingly, and that is why I've used "since attained". In short, I disagree with what you've suggested, but thanks. — Calvin999 08:15, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
I'm not saying that she has attained songs, I'm saying that she has attained number-one songs. There is a difference. I'm not being dismissive, you both said the same thing worded differently and I just don't agree. I'll go with your fourth one, even though I'm still not sold on it, but if one or two words is what is holding the review back from being closed. I feel like the original sentence is saying the same thing anyway but better. — Calvin999 16:19, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
The Special Barnstar | ||
While I could have used a copyeditor barnstar, but I feel like it cannot justify how grateful I am for your tireless work you have made on to improve Termite and Iridomyrmex. As well as that, you are a very easy person to discuss any issues that are raised in the article, which is a bonus when I request a copyedit. In the long run this makes the GA review much easier, so I am internally thankful for your work. Burklemore1 ( talk) 11:29, 27 September 2015 (UTC) |
Also, I should get around to fixing up the issues you have raised on my talk page. Burklemore1 ( talk) 11:29, 27 September 2015 (UTC)
Great work! I made a few tweaks. I'll go notify the FAC nominator that the article will appear at TFA (they usually won't know, unless they nominator the article at TFAR themselves). - Dank ( push to talk) 13:36, 27 September 2015 (UTC)
If you could, please take a look at some of my noms at TAFI. Some of them could need some more input. Appreciate it.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 22:36, 26 September 2015 (UTC)
Personal finance – an example image of personal budget planning software
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Scottish mythology • Head Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:07, 28 September 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hi, thank you for your copy-editing of Mata Hari. Could you please add the GOCE-tag to the articles talk page. Thanks again.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 19:31, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
Sneak a peek at my Sneek reply. Sca ( talk) 01:18, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
..for helping with the copyediting of the two articles. Could you please add the GOCE tag to both articles talk pages. Thank you.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 19:38, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
{{GOCE|user={{subst:REVISIONUSER}}|date={{subst:date}}}}
on the talk page of articles you have copy edited" is what the WP:COPYEDITORS
request page says. I interpret that to mean it is a personal preference whether or not to add the template (though perhaps it's encouraged); I also think a requestor adding the tag to the talk page in lieu of the copyeditor if they would like it there is reasonable (I've done that in the past).—
Godsy(
TALK
CONT)
01:07, 25 August 2015 (UTC){{GOCE|user={{subst:REVISIONUSER}}|date={{subst:date}}}}
) and place it on the page assuming the following two statements are true: You are the one who performed the copyedit, and it is on the same day you finished the copyedit. You can manually enter the date if you're adding it later like this: {{GOCE|user={{subst:REVISIONUSER}}|date=August 1, 2015}}
. This last example would be for if you were placing the template for another user on a date other than the date of the copyedit (manually filling out both parameters): {{GOCE|user=Godsy|date=January 5, 2015}}
.Dank The summary at Wikipedia:Today's featured article/October 16, 2015 is 1164. Do you want it trimmed a little? I've copied the paragraph here and drawn a line through what I think could be left out if you want the summary shortened. What do you think?
– Corinne ( talk) 19:32, 30 September 2015 (UTC)
Okay, we've collaborated enough now that I know I'll be happy with your work. I'd prefer that we switch over now to a regular routine where you pick one or more wikiprojects, and just do the TFAs for articles that have been tagged by those wikiprojects. Take your time ... it can be hard to choose. Obviously you want wikiprojects that tag articles that tend to show up at FAC, but it's also good to choose subject matter you're comfortable with, and also good to choose people you enjoy working with. Hylian Auree has WP:TROP covered, and I've got Milhist covered. - Dank ( push to talk) 18:00, 2 October 2015 (UTC)
and, if I get more:
Dank I just read the summary at Wikipedia:Today's featured article/October 14, 2015 about Mary O'Reilly. I did a character count and it came out at 1196, so it's within the range you gave me before. I don't know if you want it shortened a little bit. It's pretty well written as it is, but I've got to ask you about something. It's the second sentence in the lead:
When I started editing on Wikipedia three years ago, that was the first time I had ever seen "from + year" used to mean "beginning in [year]" or "starting from [year]" or "from [year] onwards". I think I discussed this with Rothorpe, and we may have concluded that this was British English style (I don't remember). Also, I would never tack on a phrase like "for 34 years" after a comma like that. I would write:
Do you want to leave it as it is, or change it? Also, do you want the paragraph shortened, or not? Corinne ( talk) 19:12, 30 September 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Personal finance • Scottish mythology Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:07, 5 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hi Corinne, what's going on with the copy-edit here? Having skimmed through your conversation with Vsmith on his talk page, I can't see what progress was made (although it did clear a few points up). Are you planning to continue the copy-edit, or shall I return the request to the list? I didn't want to template you, seeing that you've commented on the request. Either way I'll ensure you're credited in the archive. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 ( talk) 09:31, 5 October 2015 (UTC)
{{
cite book}}
: Unknown parameter |editors=
ignored (|editor=
suggested) (
help)
Costumed performers from the 2006 Bristol Renaissance Faire
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Musical composition • Personal finance Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:17, 12 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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I happened to notice that you have some experience in copyediting Indian films ( Moodu Pani and Anniyan) before. Would you like to give Thiruvilaiyadal, a 1965 Tamil film, a copyedit for a potential GA nomination? Thank you. Thamizhan1994 ( Appo Pesu) 11:58, 12 October 2015 (UTC)
Corinne, I'd really just ignore him. We're wasting our time; let him get on with it and don't work on any of "his" articles. As his replies show, he is supremely graceless, not to mention patronising (posting a link that he thinks demonstrates a cast-iron rule rather than some piece of regional whimsy). Regards, Ericoides ( talk) 08:17, 13 October 2015 (UTC)
Nov 1 and Nov 2 both look fun, you're welcome to do them. Nov 2 came from Wikipedia:Today's featured article/requests/Shah Rukh Khan, and there's not much to do except whittle it down (it's currently at 1367 characters) ... those guys have a pretty good sense of how to write TFA summaries. Nov 1 didn't go through TFAR, and the trick for that one will be to expand the TFA summary (which came from the lead) with information in the article that will appeal to Main Page readers, if you can find any ... the lead is too short for TFA. - Dank ( push to talk) 22:26, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
Dank, what do you think? I got the November 2, 2015, summary down to 1210 characters. Corinne ( talk) 23:42, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
Ice hockey is an example of a
team sport. Pictured is an 1893 ice hockey match at Victoria Rink, Montreal.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Costume • Musical composition Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:06, 19 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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As per the GA review, it has been put on hold because there is an apparent copyvio in the energy source section, but I am really terrible when I'm trying to reword things (I unintentionally disorganise, change meaning or add grammatically wrong sentences at times), so I may need some assistance. Also, I'm sorry I haven't been caught up with the issues you have raised, I will get to them when the copyvio has been cleared. Burklemore1 ( talk) 15:20, 6 October 2015 (UTC)
Stigmatella aurantiaca I was just looking at your recent edits to Termite. Most seem fine, but I wanted to discuss two changes with you, both at this edit [6].
1) In this sentence:
You added "antennae" but neglected to change "termites" to either "termites'" (plural possessive) or "termite" (noun as adjective) right before it. Then, in the next sentence, you changed "This includes" to "They include" (presumably to match the plural "antennae"), but in doing this you introduced some ambiguity because in the previous sentence there are two plural nouns, "antennae" and "sensory functions". Since what follows "They include" look like parts of antennae, I assume you want "they" to refer to "antennae", not "sensory functions". This needs to be cleared up. I read the rest of this sentence, and the next, and I do not see any details about the sensory functions of termite antennae, so it's not clear why that statement is there. It just goes right into a list of the parts of the antennae.
2) Later, we read these two sentences:
You again changed "This includes" (in the second sentence) to "They include". From looking at what follows "They include", I assume by "they" you mean "the legs", but, again, there is ambiguity because of the two plural nouns: "legs" and "insects". Also, the subject of the first sentence is really "structure", not "legs". By switching to "legs", you're abandoning any further mention of "the structure". I recommend changing "They" to "The legs": "The legs include".
or:
Thanks for the corrections. Unclear pronoun antecedents are a major downfall. I see them in other people's writing, but somehow I don't see them in my own. Selective blindness hits us all. The other mistakes I attribute to being distracted by an emergency at work. :-( Stigmatella aurantiaca ( talk) 02:29, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
I've finished making my final swoop through the article. Could you go through and fix any mistakes that I've introduced, after which I can promote? Thanks! Stigmatella aurantiaca ( talk) 13:07, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
As you suggested, Termite#Description would also be a good choice of where to place this content. It all depends on the "spin" that you want to put on the material. Stigmatella aurantiaca ( talk) 18:14, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Stigmatella aurantiaca I saw your comment earlier (couldn't find it just now) where you said you thought three editors working on the article at the same time were too many, and that you would wait. I just wanted to say that the reason I draw Burklemore1's attention to this on-going discussion was that I thought it was his/her article, and, because the discussion was here, I didn't want Burklemore1 to think I was going behind his/her back. I really think you ought to feel welcome to comment here, or on the article's talk page where I've posted additional comments, at any time. I think the decision as to whether it is ready for GA or, later, for FA, is better made by you and Burkelmore1 than by me. I'm just here to help. Stigmatella, did you see my comments, above, that had nothing to do with the higher vs. lower termite discussion? Re Alt text, how does adding an alternate caption help vision-impaired readers, and is it only done in captions? Corinne ( talk) 22:05, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Ho corinne. I've tried some versions; see the history. persoanlly, I'd recoomand to stick witht the show/hide version of the links; I think that looks best. But alas, that's my opinion. Best regards, Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 09:36, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
It has been deleted. Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 04:03, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Sorry? For what? @Corinne: I've placed the links and the Signpost/Archivebox next to each other, ad removed the deleted picture. How do you like it this way? The table with the links and the Signpost fills 60% of the horizintal space, which is fine at my monitor. How about yours? Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 05:45, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
I've set the width of the the Table of Contents at 340 px, and the links-box at 540px. These are fixed widhts. At my screen this fits, but it may be different at Corinne's. If so,let us know. The links-box at the center, and the Signpost and the Archives-box can be swapped, of course. Best regards, Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 10:28, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Corinne, why not just out the picture above or below the links-box? In that case, there's surely enough space at your window. Otherwise, what doesn't like good now? Anyway, I've made the picture smaller now. @ Crisco 1492: I've set the whole table at 50%; maybe we should just fit is with a fixed size in pixels? Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 03:28, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne. Termite, an article you either created or significantly contributed to, has been nominated to appear on Wikipedia's Main Page as part of Did you know . You can see the hook and the discussion here. You are welcome to participate! Thank you. APersonBot ( talk!) 02:38, 24 October 2015 (UTC) |
Dank I just saw the summary of the November 7, 2015, featured article. I did a count of the characters and it's at 1,069 characters.
(a) Do you want to leave it like that? Is the count all right?
(b) Do you want a review of the prose done, and, if so, do you want me to do it? Corinne ( talk) 01:00, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
I just looked at the November 8, 2015, summary. I'd really like to work on that one if it's all right with you. Corinne ( talk) 01:02, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Dank How about "runs either through or alongside"? Otherwise, "runs through or alongside" is fine. Thanks for explaining your method. I do that sometimes, too, and I'm often surprised when I go back to something and immediately see the best wording and wonder why I hadn't seen it the first time. Corinne ( talk) 23:21, 24 October 2015 (UTC) The last sentence sounds good now. Corinne ( talk) 23:24, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
I'm just letting you know that I am going to start working on Mosquito, and if you would like you can add any input in regards to my edits. If you're also willing to copyedit it when I am done, please feel free to. I thought I'd let you know about this. Cheers, Burklemore1 ( talk) 16:58, 25 October 2015 (UTC)
If you want to, please take a look at my TAFI noms for Astrid Lindgren and Omakase. Appreciate it.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 22:22, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
Models promoting
Zombieland at San Diego Comic-con. A
zombie comedy is a
horror comedy subgenre that involves zombies.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Team sport • Costume Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:09, 26 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Doug Weller I know you're busy, so this will be two quick questions. (I'm asking you because I know you have an interest in history.) I'm copy-editing History of Baden-Württemberg. In the section History of Baden-Württemberg#Further Austria and the Palatinate I see a lot of boldface type. Is all that boldface necessary? This is the only section that has it, except the very beginning of the article.
Also, the two-sentence fourth paragraph of that section starts with this sentence:
Do you see any need for the adverb "politically" there? It suggests that the writer wanted to make a distinction between a political ruler and a figurehead ruler, but I don't see a figurehead mentioned. Corinne ( talk) 17:18, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
Charles01 I just wanted to say that I actually didn't know whether experts in demographics have discovered a "normal" distribution of population according to age, but I thought, if they have, then "distort" would probably work for describing the ballooning of one age group. I searched for articles that might give more information. I know what you mean, that "distort" could carry a negative connotation, but, on the other hand, using "affect" (without saying how) is kind of bland. I wasn't actually arguing for going back to "distort"; I was just suggesting it might be worth reading more. I only skimmed those articles, but I didn't see the word "distort" anywhere. I usually don't do much research except for reading other Wikipedia articles. I concentrate on fixing small errors in spelling, punctuation, capitalization, font, spacing, and grammar, and trying to improve sentences and paragraph cohesiveness. That keeps me busy enough. While I was reading your comment, I thought that perhaps that sentence is not necessary at all. If it needs to be said, perhaps a more straightforward sentence saying that it is a university town, so the population of 18- to 24-year-olds is higher than in non-university towns, but that's kind of obvious, isn't it, once you know what a university town is? I wanted to add that I appreciate your well written comments. It's rare to read good writing on talk pages. Also, I wanted you to know that I didn't write that comment to challenge your edit. Corinne ( talk) 23:27, 28 October 2015 (UTC)
Baffle gab1978 I just began copy-editing Trajan yesterday, and left off editing late yesterday to get some sleep. I now see that two other editors are making changes to sentences I was working on yesterday. I am still working on those sections, and even after I finish reading an article once, making edits as I go, I always go back and re-read the article to make further changes and improve sentences. I don't want to say anything to those two editors since the edits were made in good faith, but is there any way you could say something to them, or put a working notice at the top of the article, so that no one edits until I am finished? Corinne ( talk) 17:09, 22 October 2015 (UTC) Corinne ( talk) 17:09, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Corinne: I have modified two points in the Trajan article, according to your copy-editing suggestions. Please tell me what you think of it. Cerme ( talk) 01:41, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
When you find time for it please review my latest noms at TAFI. Isabel Adrian and Josephine Bornebusch. Appreciate it.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 14:06, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Apokryltaros If you're not too busy, I wonder if you could explain the graphic time-line in the upper right corner of the article on the Cenozoic. I don't understand why the Cenozoic is vertical but the Mesozoic is horizontal. I see the progression of years (is that "millions of years before present"?) on the left, so I can kind of understand the block of time for the Cenozoic, but I don't understand why Mesozoic is across the bottom. I also don't understand why the Mesozoic is turquoise and why there is a turquoise band to the left of Cenozoic. I guess they are supposed to be two different shades of blue, with the lighter one meaning "Phanerozoic" (but I don't know what that means, either). I guess the Paleogene, Neogene, and Quaternary are sections of the Cenozoic. Corinne ( talk) 01:12, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
In response to a request for a copy-edit of Megalodon at WP:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests, I am going to read through the article. I promise you I will be very careful not to change anything I am not sure of. I may ask you for your opinion on some things, if you don't mind. I know archaeologists and paleontologists have their own lingo, but I have to ask you about the use of the preposition "under". I have edited quite a few botany articles, and I never saw that preposition used to indicate the genus, or family, or species of a plant. Is "under" used more in paleontology? See the second paragraph of the article, which I will copy here:
Is it "under", as in "classified under"? (In botany, they use "in".)
Also, whether or not "under" is correct for "under family...", but especially if it is correct, there's another "under" that I wonder about: "and is still under dispute". I wonder if "in" would be better: "is still in dispute"? Which do you prefer? Corinne ( talk) 01:26, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
Apokryltaros (I get side-tracked reading linked articles while I copy-edit long articles like Megalodon.) I just read Isthmus of Panama, and I saw a few minor things I'll fix later, but I wanted to ask you about something. In the section Isthmus of Panama#Biosphere is the following sentence:
I was wondering why amphibians were not included in this list. Aren't frogs amphibians? I thought the brightly colored frogs of Central and South America are well known. Also, there is nothing here to explain how the "tropic climate...encourages...large and brightly coloured species". (Also, a minor issue, why is this in British spelling when it's about the Americas?)
Also, I wanted to point out the "citation needed" tag at the end of the Isthmus of Panama#Geology section to you and/or Vsmith. It has been there since September 2013. Corinne ( talk) 20:42, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Comedy horror • Team sport Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) 07:22, 2 November 2015 (UTC) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Apokryltaros and Rothorpe I wanted to ask you both what you thought of this sentence. It's the second sentence in Megalodon#Skeletal anatomy:
I'd like you to focus particularly on "its jaws would have been massive, stouter, and more strongly developed..."
In those three modifiers, we have:
I'm wondering whether "massive" should be in the comparative form ("more massive"). If so, is this combination all right? –
or should we substitute a "long" adjective for "stouter" so all three are "long" adjectives (using "more"). What do you think? Corinne ( talk) 19:51, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
Apokryltaros, I've got to ask you about this sentence, the second-to-last sentence in the section Megalodon#Skeletal anatomy:
(You'll see in the edit history that I changed "in comparison to that of the great whale" to "in comparison to those of the great whale", assuming that "those" refers to "relative and proportional changes".)
I don't understand this sentence. I skimmed the linked article Ontogenetic, and it seemed to say that ontology had to do with development of a creature during its lifetime. If that is correct, then the "relative and proportional changes in megalodon skeletal features" occur while it is developing, or growing. So where is the comparison, if those same features "occur in great white sharks while growing"? Corinne ( talk) 20:11, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
On 3 November 2015, Did you know was updated with a fact from the article Termite, which you recently created, substantially expanded, or brought to good article status. The fact was ... that 43 termite species (examples pictured) are used as food by humans or are fed to livestock? The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Termite. You are welcome to check how many page hits the article got while on the front page ( here's how, live views, daily totals), and it may be added to the statistics page if the total is over 5,000. Finally, if you know of an interesting fact from another recently created article, then please feel free to suggest it on the Did you know talk page. |
Cas Liber ( talk · contribs) 00:01, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
Hi Corinne. Thanks for the c/e. I've rewrote the plot section and my friend cum FAC (not opened yet) co-nominator Ssven2 made a few changes. Visit the section once and make/suggest changes required if any. Pavanjandhyala ( talk) 11:14, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
Well, all the five Pandavas were the husbands of Draupadi. And, all the Pandavas lost their wealth, liberty and Draupadi. Yudhisthira was representing the five and Shakuni was representing the hundred Kauravas. Strangely, we can see neither the Pandavas nor Draupadi throughout the film. In a scene, Krishna comes to know that Draupadi is being disrobed and saves her. That's all. That incident was dealt in a detailed manner in other films. This is mentioned in detail in the plot because most of the conflict in the story revolves around this incident. And regarding the quote, i changed it to "Later, Duryodhana's father Dhritarashtra declared the game's result as void and restored everything back to normal". Would that suffice?
Lastly and surely optional. I suggest you to try to watch the film (original version, not the colourised version as many portions were omitted in the latter) once in your extremely leisure time. That may help you understand the story well. It is surely worth your time and being India's greatest film of all time, it will surely not disappoint you. Our YouTube (India) showed no video with subtitles. Perhaps your country's YouTube may! Let me know if you intend to, and also when you've completed watching it. Pavanjandhyala ( talk) 17:17, 4 November 2015 (UTC)
The Copyeditor's Barnstar | ||
For your excellent work on Kingdom of Hungary (1000–1301). Thank you. Have a nice week! Borsoka ( talk) 04:46, 8 November 2015 (UTC) |
Dank I was just looking at your edits to India House, and I saw this edit: [7]. I know that in the next edit you moved the period to outside the double square brackets of the link, but I don't understand your addition of "Bal Gangadhar Tilak" after a pipe. It's the same name as before the pipe. What am I missing?
On another issue, I've seen you placing commas before adverbial clauses ("......., although....."). I've always understood that no comma is to precede an adverbial clause that comes after the main, or independent, clause. Corinne ( talk) 04:18, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
Hai, could you please help copyediting this Indian film article Urumi (film). Article contains a lots of matter, but badly written. So need good copy editor to do some work. Requesting for your help. -- Charles Turing ( talk) 18:48, 5 November 2015 (UTC)
Marie Serneholt at the 48th Guldbagge Awards.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Allegra Versace • Comedy horror Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:34, 9 November 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hi Corinne. I'm somewhat familiar with your copyediting work (having crossed paths at FAC and having checked some of your recent edits), and I'd like to invite you to do a few WP:TFA summaries. If you're interested, pick a subject area you enjoy or a wikiproject you have a good relationship with, and keep an eye out for new articles that Chris and Brian post at WP:TFAA. I'll be happy to help. - Dank ( push to talk) 23:24, 22 September 2015 (UTC)
Great. I recommend you watchlist these four pages:
Within a few days, all of those links will light up. Pick one of those to work on that you're comfortable with ... they will come either from article leads or from WP:TFAR (and most of the work will be done already if they come from TFAR, but there will probably be things you'll want to tweak). You're welcome to pass on those if you like and pick one from the next batch of four. I reserve the right to fiddle with your results to comply with other people's rules (MOS, FAC standards, etc.), but don't worry about that ... just do whatever seems right to you. - Dank ( push to talk) 14:27, 23 September 2015 (UTC)
You're doing great ... you see some of the same things I do, and you're doing some things I wouldn't do. The mental workout this gives me is worth the price of admission. Before we get started: I'm going to be insisting that we do some things my way rather than your way ... but I want you to know that this isn't the way I usually operate, it's a reality that comes with TFA. People want their FAC and TFA copyeditors to make the same calls that have been made before, and the coordinator job requires a certain fussiness. So for now, I need to be pretty hands-on. I hope that's okay. So, some comments:
( edit conflict) User:Dank Thanks! and thank you for the pointers. When deciding whether to leave a word in or take it out, do I need to look at the original source? Corinne ( talk) 21:38, 26 September 2015 (UTC)
I'll get a chance to look at it in an hour. If you add "?action=purge" after a url, that makes transcluded pages show the most recent changes (for instance, if you're looking at WP:FAC, it will fetch the most recent version of all the individual FAC pages to display). You don't need to purge when you're working on an individual TFA to see your changes. - Dank ( push to talk) 23:54, 26 September 2015 (UTC)
Dank Yes. There's a difference between these two sentences and the first sentence in the Charles Domery paragraph. In these two sentences, the subject is already known and/or identified.
In the first sentence in the Domery paragraph, the two phrases, "a Polish soldier" and "noted for...", are both being used to identify Charles Domery. He was a Polish soldier who was noted for eating a lot (whatever it says). If you put a comma before "noted for", you are making it an afterthought, which minimizes it, when in fact it is the most important part of the identification.
He was not just a Polish soldier. He was a Polish soldier who was known for eating a lot. (I think I prefer "known for" over "noted for".) Also, in your first example, it says "our first president". It doesn't say "a president". If it said, "was a president [who was] known as the father of his country", then you could leave out the comma because the phrase "known as the father of his country" is essential to identify the person.
In the second example, "Bunny Bread is a market leader, available in grocery stores statewide", it is really, "Bunny Bread is a market leader, [and it is] available in stores statewide". The last phrase (a shortened clause) is giving additional not-particularly-important information and is not being used to identify Bunny Bread.
You could also say that the sentence is really, "Bunny Bread is a market leader that is available in stores statewide." If this is intended, the adjective clause "that is available in stores statewide" is modifying "market leader" and is restrictive – it is essential for identifying "market leader" – thus, no comma before it; and, if this is intended, it can be written like this, or "that is" can be removed, leaving: "Bunny Bread is a market leader available in stores statewide". In this case, "available in stores statewide" is important information. In the first way, preceded by a comma, this information is less important.
Bunny Bread is a market leader, [and it is] available statewide.
Bunny Bread is a market leader that is available statewide. Bunny Bread is a market leader [that is] available statewide.
At least that's the way I see it. Corinne ( talk) 02:55, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
Btw, back to where this all started: I'm looking for people to write a few TFA summaries. I've been suggesting this plan for many months, and gotten basically no support for it, because FAC writers would apparently prefer to deal with one person rather than several. Things came to a head recently when there were a couple of TFAs that I didn't want to work on, for one reason or another, but now that I've gotten started with looking for help, I want to try to make this work. My position is that wikiprojects react very positively at FAC and TFA when they feel they have a copyeditor "of their own", someone who knows their wikiproject standards as well as FAC and TFA standards, at least well enough to get the job done. So, where this is going is ... be thinking about which wikiproject(s) you enjoy working with the most, and after you've picked a few more TFAs to work on, I'll ask you to specialize in TFAs for one or more wikiprojects. - Dank ( push to talk) 16:59, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
Sure, I'll find some for you to work on in the next batch. Sorry for the miscommunication; I was just looking for a few people to work on a few TFAs. - Dank ( push to talk) 01:22, 13 October 2015 (UTC)
Hi Corinne, I've chosen the Foundation of Moldavia article as my next GA review. Borsoka and I started a discussion of whether the word, "founding" better befits the title than "foundation". Perhaps you could look over the discussion at Talk:Foundation of Moldavia#Questions prior to GA review and give your opinion, since I see that you are interested in and knowledgeable about English usage. Sincerely, User:HopsonRoad 21:24, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne. Does this name mean anything to you? You might be interested in my talk page note. Rothorpe ( talk) 18:42, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
If you want to, please take a look at the article about Marie Serneholt, which is this weeks selected TAFI article. Regards,-- BabbaQ ( talk) 16:27, 13 November 2015 (UTC)
teaching English to speakers of other languages
Thank you for quality collaborative contributions to articles such as
Cucurbita, teaching English to speakers of other languages, achieving to make "sentences clear and concise, flow smoothly, and make sense", for
exquisite edit summaries, for a bounty of inspiration on your user page full of colourful and peaceful images, - you are an
awesome Wikipedian!
A year ago, you were recipient no. 1032 of Precious, a prize of QAI! -- Gerda Arendt ( talk) 14:47, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
Dank and Rothorpe I need both of your opinions:
In response to a request for a copy-edit at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests, I have been reading and copy-editing the article on David Rolf. It was pretty well written as it was; I only made a few small changes. However, there is something that is bothering me, and I'd like your opinion. In the lead, the first sentence of the second paragraph is:
Well, now that I look at it, there are two things that are bothering me. I'll take the easy one first:
1) Do you think the sentence is too long? If so, how would you break it up?
(a) Rolf grew up in Cincinnati. He was influenced by... (and all the rest).
(b) Growing up in Cincinnati, Rolf was influenced by... (not really breaking the sentence up, but the sentence could still be broken up)
(c) Rolf grew up in Cincinnati and was influenced by members of his family, including his mother, who worked as a unionized teacher, and his grandfathers. [BREAK SENTENCE HERE] His maternal grandfather was a General motors employee....... His paternal grandfather was a Procter & Gamble employee who....
2) The other thing that bothered me was "a Procter & Gamble employee who funded law school". It wasn't clear to me what was meant by "who funded law school". I figured it was "who paid for law school" because right after that it says he "eventually became a lawyer", but I think "who funded law school" sounds odd. (Also, it says that David Rolf's father was a lawyer, so I thought, maybe he was paying for his son's law school education.) Later, in the second paragraph in David Rolf#Early life and education, we read:
Here, "worked...at a Procter & Gamble soap factor in order to fund law school", is a little clearer, but I think I still prefer "in order to pay for law school" or "in order to put himself through law school". What do you think? Corinne ( talk) 01:25, 15 November 2015 (UTC)
A continuum of
goods and services
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Marie Serneholt • Allegra Versace Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:16, 16 November 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Vsmith I've never given much thought to collecting and prominently displaying the few barnstars I've received, but I've been thinking that it might be nice to put them all in one place. Is there any way to find them easily and put them on my user page? I think it would be too tedious to search for them manually. Corinne ( talk) 23:43, 15 November 2015 (UTC)
This is an archive of past discussions. Do not edit the contents of this page. If you wish to start a new discussion or revive an old one, please do so on the current talk page. |
Archive 10 | ← | Archive 13 | Archive 14 | Archive 15 | Archive 16 | Archive 17 | → | Archive 20 |
BlueMoonset, I'm glad you approve of the edits I made to Uttanka, and that the article has been rated as a good article. I agree with the edits you made just after mine, at [1], but I wanted to ask you and Rothorpe about one of them. It's not a big deal. It's just something to ponder.
You changed "are called" to "have been called". Normally, I would say that present perfect tense should follow anything like "Since then", and the "are called" may sound like ungrammatical and/or Indian English there. However, Nvvchar just told me that Uttanka and the others are characters in a larger collection of stories in Indian mythology. That suggests to me that this is closer to fiction than non-fiction, and when we discuss characters and plot, etc., in fiction, we often use simple present tense even if discussing things which, within the story, seem to have happened in the past. If the naming of the clouds after Uttanka is within the mythological stories – perhaps carrying over into Indian customs, perhaps not – wouldn't simple present tense make sense here? Present perfect tense (ever since then...have been called) would really only make sense if we are referring to a current custom stemming from a real historical event in the past, unless you think that it would also be appropriate to use when referring to a current custom that began in a very old mythological story. Do you see what I mean? I'm not sure of the answer. I'd be interested in your thoughts. Corinne ( talk) 03:42, 7 September 2015 (UTC)
"However," says Krishna, "I will keep my word. Sudden clouds will shower water in the desert; they shall be called 'Utanka-clouds' always".Perhaps "From then on" should be "from that moment" or "from that day", or you might have another solution; I didn't want to make a major change to the sentence, and dealing with mythology/religious tales is complicated—to treat it as if it were fiction makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure whether this is helpful or not. BlueMoonset ( talk) 04:25, 7 September 2015 (UTC)
West Virginian Did you get this ping? Corinne ( talk) 01:32, 11 September 2015 (UTC)
There are some films waiting for assessment in Wikipedia:WikiProject Film/Assessment. Please consider. -- 106.66.180.39 ( talk) 13:20, 12 September 2015 (UTC)
Hi.
I don't think the "family curse" section should be there as it's conspiracy theory nonsense, but having already been sent abusive threats by monarchist editors, I'm reluctant to remove it on my own. Can you help me with what to do. I'll send this message to others i trust and admins as well. Paul Benjamin Austin ( talk) 02:29, 13 September 2015 (UTC)
Transection of a human
head
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: High diving • Plain dress Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:11, 14 September 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hello, Corrine. Would you be interested in giving this 2005 Tamil film a copyedit? Do let me know. Thanks. — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 09:23, 16 September 2015 (UTC)
The Premium Reviewer Barnstar | ||
Corinne, I hereby award you The Premium Reviewer Barnstar for your extraordinary copyedits and reviews of Samuel Lightfoot Flournoy (West Virginia senator), Samuel Lightfoot Flournoy (West Virginia lawyer), Literary Hall, Thayer Melvin, Romney Academy, Romney Classical Institute, Joseph Sprigg (attorney general), John Baker White (Virginia), John Baker White (West Virginia politician), Robert White (judge), Charles M. Williams (academic), and Joshua Soule Zimmerman. Your precision, diligence, and grammatical prowess are greatly cherished, and the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors is an even more valuable resource because you are a part of it! -- West Virginian (talk) 14:20, 17 September 2015 (UTC) |
I'm having a dispute with an editor at Talk:Number 1 to Infinity/GA1 over some grammar/English usage and I'm wondering if you could take a few moments and look the article over. I saw your edits to Thayer Melvin and thought that were very helpful, so I though of you for this other GAN.-- Sturmvogel 66 ( talk) 18:31, 17 September 2015 (UTC)
"Boy on white horse" by
Theodor Kittelsen
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Head • High diving Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:10, 21 September 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Thanks for Anniyan's copyedit. This is the next article that I have worked on for GA. User:Kailash29792 is the main contributor to the article though and he has posted a copyedit request at GOCE. Do let me and Kailash29792 know if you would be interested in giving a good copyedit for Moodu Pani. Thanks. — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 13:30, 20 September 2015 (UTC)
Ssven2 and Kailash29792 I haven't yet looked at the article, but if it is at all interesting to me, I'd be glad to work on it. I'm going to copy-edit another article now, and when I finish that, I'll look at Moodu Pani and probably accept the assignment at GOCE. I'll probably get to it in a couple of hours from now. Corinne ( talk) 21:16, 20 September 2015 (UTC)
Hello. I appreciate your input, but I myself am pretty experienced in reviewing good article nominations and have had a fair few promoted myself. So if you were implying that I should pay more attention based on Sturmvogel 66 having reviewed more, then I am slightly disgruntled by that, as it's not about numbers and no-one is better than anyone else. Anyway, if you are saying that the song attained number-one status and it's not Mariah who does, then why is she credited with holding the record for most solo number-ones if you say it's not her who is number-one? She wrote them, she produced them, without her they wouldn't have existed to be number-one in the first place. They are her number-ones. She has attained five more since the release of her previous number-ones album, that cannot be disputed. This is not an FAC, and I don't believe this part needs changing. The alternative you proposed indicates that she released number-one singles, which is incorrect as you don't release a number-one knowingly, and that is why I've used "since attained". In short, I disagree with what you've suggested, but thanks. — Calvin999 08:15, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
I'm not saying that she has attained songs, I'm saying that she has attained number-one songs. There is a difference. I'm not being dismissive, you both said the same thing worded differently and I just don't agree. I'll go with your fourth one, even though I'm still not sold on it, but if one or two words is what is holding the review back from being closed. I feel like the original sentence is saying the same thing anyway but better. — Calvin999 16:19, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
The Special Barnstar | ||
While I could have used a copyeditor barnstar, but I feel like it cannot justify how grateful I am for your tireless work you have made on to improve Termite and Iridomyrmex. As well as that, you are a very easy person to discuss any issues that are raised in the article, which is a bonus when I request a copyedit. In the long run this makes the GA review much easier, so I am internally thankful for your work. Burklemore1 ( talk) 11:29, 27 September 2015 (UTC) |
Also, I should get around to fixing up the issues you have raised on my talk page. Burklemore1 ( talk) 11:29, 27 September 2015 (UTC)
Great work! I made a few tweaks. I'll go notify the FAC nominator that the article will appear at TFA (they usually won't know, unless they nominator the article at TFAR themselves). - Dank ( push to talk) 13:36, 27 September 2015 (UTC)
If you could, please take a look at some of my noms at TAFI. Some of them could need some more input. Appreciate it.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 22:36, 26 September 2015 (UTC)
Personal finance – an example image of personal budget planning software
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Scottish mythology • Head Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:07, 28 September 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hi, thank you for your copy-editing of Mata Hari. Could you please add the GOCE-tag to the articles talk page. Thanks again.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 19:31, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
Sneak a peek at my Sneek reply. Sca ( talk) 01:18, 28 September 2015 (UTC)
..for helping with the copyediting of the two articles. Could you please add the GOCE tag to both articles talk pages. Thank you.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 19:38, 21 August 2015 (UTC)
{{GOCE|user={{subst:REVISIONUSER}}|date={{subst:date}}}}
on the talk page of articles you have copy edited" is what the WP:COPYEDITORS
request page says. I interpret that to mean it is a personal preference whether or not to add the template (though perhaps it's encouraged); I also think a requestor adding the tag to the talk page in lieu of the copyeditor if they would like it there is reasonable (I've done that in the past).—
Godsy(
TALK
CONT)
01:07, 25 August 2015 (UTC){{GOCE|user={{subst:REVISIONUSER}}|date={{subst:date}}}}
) and place it on the page assuming the following two statements are true: You are the one who performed the copyedit, and it is on the same day you finished the copyedit. You can manually enter the date if you're adding it later like this: {{GOCE|user={{subst:REVISIONUSER}}|date=August 1, 2015}}
. This last example would be for if you were placing the template for another user on a date other than the date of the copyedit (manually filling out both parameters): {{GOCE|user=Godsy|date=January 5, 2015}}
.Dank The summary at Wikipedia:Today's featured article/October 16, 2015 is 1164. Do you want it trimmed a little? I've copied the paragraph here and drawn a line through what I think could be left out if you want the summary shortened. What do you think?
– Corinne ( talk) 19:32, 30 September 2015 (UTC)
Okay, we've collaborated enough now that I know I'll be happy with your work. I'd prefer that we switch over now to a regular routine where you pick one or more wikiprojects, and just do the TFAs for articles that have been tagged by those wikiprojects. Take your time ... it can be hard to choose. Obviously you want wikiprojects that tag articles that tend to show up at FAC, but it's also good to choose subject matter you're comfortable with, and also good to choose people you enjoy working with. Hylian Auree has WP:TROP covered, and I've got Milhist covered. - Dank ( push to talk) 18:00, 2 October 2015 (UTC)
and, if I get more:
Dank I just read the summary at Wikipedia:Today's featured article/October 14, 2015 about Mary O'Reilly. I did a character count and it came out at 1196, so it's within the range you gave me before. I don't know if you want it shortened a little bit. It's pretty well written as it is, but I've got to ask you about something. It's the second sentence in the lead:
When I started editing on Wikipedia three years ago, that was the first time I had ever seen "from + year" used to mean "beginning in [year]" or "starting from [year]" or "from [year] onwards". I think I discussed this with Rothorpe, and we may have concluded that this was British English style (I don't remember). Also, I would never tack on a phrase like "for 34 years" after a comma like that. I would write:
Do you want to leave it as it is, or change it? Also, do you want the paragraph shortened, or not? Corinne ( talk) 19:12, 30 September 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Personal finance • Scottish mythology Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:07, 5 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hi Corinne, what's going on with the copy-edit here? Having skimmed through your conversation with Vsmith on his talk page, I can't see what progress was made (although it did clear a few points up). Are you planning to continue the copy-edit, or shall I return the request to the list? I didn't want to template you, seeing that you've commented on the request. Either way I'll ensure you're credited in the archive. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 ( talk) 09:31, 5 October 2015 (UTC)
{{
cite book}}
: Unknown parameter |editors=
ignored (|editor=
suggested) (
help)
Costumed performers from the 2006 Bristol Renaissance Faire
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Musical composition • Personal finance Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:17, 12 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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I happened to notice that you have some experience in copyediting Indian films ( Moodu Pani and Anniyan) before. Would you like to give Thiruvilaiyadal, a 1965 Tamil film, a copyedit for a potential GA nomination? Thank you. Thamizhan1994 ( Appo Pesu) 11:58, 12 October 2015 (UTC)
Corinne, I'd really just ignore him. We're wasting our time; let him get on with it and don't work on any of "his" articles. As his replies show, he is supremely graceless, not to mention patronising (posting a link that he thinks demonstrates a cast-iron rule rather than some piece of regional whimsy). Regards, Ericoides ( talk) 08:17, 13 October 2015 (UTC)
Nov 1 and Nov 2 both look fun, you're welcome to do them. Nov 2 came from Wikipedia:Today's featured article/requests/Shah Rukh Khan, and there's not much to do except whittle it down (it's currently at 1367 characters) ... those guys have a pretty good sense of how to write TFA summaries. Nov 1 didn't go through TFAR, and the trick for that one will be to expand the TFA summary (which came from the lead) with information in the article that will appeal to Main Page readers, if you can find any ... the lead is too short for TFA. - Dank ( push to talk) 22:26, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
Dank, what do you think? I got the November 2, 2015, summary down to 1210 characters. Corinne ( talk) 23:42, 16 October 2015 (UTC)
Ice hockey is an example of a
team sport. Pictured is an 1893 ice hockey match at Victoria Rink, Montreal.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Costume • Musical composition Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:06, 19 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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As per the GA review, it has been put on hold because there is an apparent copyvio in the energy source section, but I am really terrible when I'm trying to reword things (I unintentionally disorganise, change meaning or add grammatically wrong sentences at times), so I may need some assistance. Also, I'm sorry I haven't been caught up with the issues you have raised, I will get to them when the copyvio has been cleared. Burklemore1 ( talk) 15:20, 6 October 2015 (UTC)
Stigmatella aurantiaca I was just looking at your recent edits to Termite. Most seem fine, but I wanted to discuss two changes with you, both at this edit [6].
1) In this sentence:
You added "antennae" but neglected to change "termites" to either "termites'" (plural possessive) or "termite" (noun as adjective) right before it. Then, in the next sentence, you changed "This includes" to "They include" (presumably to match the plural "antennae"), but in doing this you introduced some ambiguity because in the previous sentence there are two plural nouns, "antennae" and "sensory functions". Since what follows "They include" look like parts of antennae, I assume you want "they" to refer to "antennae", not "sensory functions". This needs to be cleared up. I read the rest of this sentence, and the next, and I do not see any details about the sensory functions of termite antennae, so it's not clear why that statement is there. It just goes right into a list of the parts of the antennae.
2) Later, we read these two sentences:
You again changed "This includes" (in the second sentence) to "They include". From looking at what follows "They include", I assume by "they" you mean "the legs", but, again, there is ambiguity because of the two plural nouns: "legs" and "insects". Also, the subject of the first sentence is really "structure", not "legs". By switching to "legs", you're abandoning any further mention of "the structure". I recommend changing "They" to "The legs": "The legs include".
or:
Thanks for the corrections. Unclear pronoun antecedents are a major downfall. I see them in other people's writing, but somehow I don't see them in my own. Selective blindness hits us all. The other mistakes I attribute to being distracted by an emergency at work. :-( Stigmatella aurantiaca ( talk) 02:29, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
I've finished making my final swoop through the article. Could you go through and fix any mistakes that I've introduced, after which I can promote? Thanks! Stigmatella aurantiaca ( talk) 13:07, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
As you suggested, Termite#Description would also be a good choice of where to place this content. It all depends on the "spin" that you want to put on the material. Stigmatella aurantiaca ( talk) 18:14, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Stigmatella aurantiaca I saw your comment earlier (couldn't find it just now) where you said you thought three editors working on the article at the same time were too many, and that you would wait. I just wanted to say that the reason I draw Burklemore1's attention to this on-going discussion was that I thought it was his/her article, and, because the discussion was here, I didn't want Burklemore1 to think I was going behind his/her back. I really think you ought to feel welcome to comment here, or on the article's talk page where I've posted additional comments, at any time. I think the decision as to whether it is ready for GA or, later, for FA, is better made by you and Burkelmore1 than by me. I'm just here to help. Stigmatella, did you see my comments, above, that had nothing to do with the higher vs. lower termite discussion? Re Alt text, how does adding an alternate caption help vision-impaired readers, and is it only done in captions? Corinne ( talk) 22:05, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Ho corinne. I've tried some versions; see the history. persoanlly, I'd recoomand to stick witht the show/hide version of the links; I think that looks best. But alas, that's my opinion. Best regards, Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 09:36, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
It has been deleted. Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 04:03, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Sorry? For what? @Corinne: I've placed the links and the Signpost/Archivebox next to each other, ad removed the deleted picture. How do you like it this way? The table with the links and the Signpost fills 60% of the horizintal space, which is fine at my monitor. How about yours? Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 05:45, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
I've set the width of the the Table of Contents at 340 px, and the links-box at 540px. These are fixed widhts. At my screen this fits, but it may be different at Corinne's. If so,let us know. The links-box at the center, and the Signpost and the Archives-box can be swapped, of course. Best regards, Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 10:28, 18 October 2015 (UTC)
Corinne, why not just out the picture above or below the links-box? In that case, there's surely enough space at your window. Otherwise, what doesn't like good now? Anyway, I've made the picture smaller now. @ Crisco 1492: I've set the whole table at 50%; maybe we should just fit is with a fixed size in pixels? Joshua Jonathan - Let's talk! 03:28, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne. Termite, an article you either created or significantly contributed to, has been nominated to appear on Wikipedia's Main Page as part of Did you know . You can see the hook and the discussion here. You are welcome to participate! Thank you. APersonBot ( talk!) 02:38, 24 October 2015 (UTC) |
Dank I just saw the summary of the November 7, 2015, featured article. I did a count of the characters and it's at 1,069 characters.
(a) Do you want to leave it like that? Is the count all right?
(b) Do you want a review of the prose done, and, if so, do you want me to do it? Corinne ( talk) 01:00, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
I just looked at the November 8, 2015, summary. I'd really like to work on that one if it's all right with you. Corinne ( talk) 01:02, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Dank How about "runs either through or alongside"? Otherwise, "runs through or alongside" is fine. Thanks for explaining your method. I do that sometimes, too, and I'm often surprised when I go back to something and immediately see the best wording and wonder why I hadn't seen it the first time. Corinne ( talk) 23:21, 24 October 2015 (UTC) The last sentence sounds good now. Corinne ( talk) 23:24, 24 October 2015 (UTC)
I'm just letting you know that I am going to start working on Mosquito, and if you would like you can add any input in regards to my edits. If you're also willing to copyedit it when I am done, please feel free to. I thought I'd let you know about this. Cheers, Burklemore1 ( talk) 16:58, 25 October 2015 (UTC)
If you want to, please take a look at my TAFI noms for Astrid Lindgren and Omakase. Appreciate it.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 22:22, 17 October 2015 (UTC)
Models promoting
Zombieland at San Diego Comic-con. A
zombie comedy is a
horror comedy subgenre that involves zombies.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Team sport • Costume Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:09, 26 October 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Doug Weller I know you're busy, so this will be two quick questions. (I'm asking you because I know you have an interest in history.) I'm copy-editing History of Baden-Württemberg. In the section History of Baden-Württemberg#Further Austria and the Palatinate I see a lot of boldface type. Is all that boldface necessary? This is the only section that has it, except the very beginning of the article.
Also, the two-sentence fourth paragraph of that section starts with this sentence:
Do you see any need for the adverb "politically" there? It suggests that the writer wanted to make a distinction between a political ruler and a figurehead ruler, but I don't see a figurehead mentioned. Corinne ( talk) 17:18, 26 October 2015 (UTC)
Charles01 I just wanted to say that I actually didn't know whether experts in demographics have discovered a "normal" distribution of population according to age, but I thought, if they have, then "distort" would probably work for describing the ballooning of one age group. I searched for articles that might give more information. I know what you mean, that "distort" could carry a negative connotation, but, on the other hand, using "affect" (without saying how) is kind of bland. I wasn't actually arguing for going back to "distort"; I was just suggesting it might be worth reading more. I only skimmed those articles, but I didn't see the word "distort" anywhere. I usually don't do much research except for reading other Wikipedia articles. I concentrate on fixing small errors in spelling, punctuation, capitalization, font, spacing, and grammar, and trying to improve sentences and paragraph cohesiveness. That keeps me busy enough. While I was reading your comment, I thought that perhaps that sentence is not necessary at all. If it needs to be said, perhaps a more straightforward sentence saying that it is a university town, so the population of 18- to 24-year-olds is higher than in non-university towns, but that's kind of obvious, isn't it, once you know what a university town is? I wanted to add that I appreciate your well written comments. It's rare to read good writing on talk pages. Also, I wanted you to know that I didn't write that comment to challenge your edit. Corinne ( talk) 23:27, 28 October 2015 (UTC)
Baffle gab1978 I just began copy-editing Trajan yesterday, and left off editing late yesterday to get some sleep. I now see that two other editors are making changes to sentences I was working on yesterday. I am still working on those sections, and even after I finish reading an article once, making edits as I go, I always go back and re-read the article to make further changes and improve sentences. I don't want to say anything to those two editors since the edits were made in good faith, but is there any way you could say something to them, or put a working notice at the top of the article, so that no one edits until I am finished? Corinne ( talk) 17:09, 22 October 2015 (UTC) Corinne ( talk) 17:09, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Corinne: I have modified two points in the Trajan article, according to your copy-editing suggestions. Please tell me what you think of it. Cerme ( talk) 01:41, 27 October 2015 (UTC)
When you find time for it please review my latest noms at TAFI. Isabel Adrian and Josephine Bornebusch. Appreciate it.-- BabbaQ ( talk) 14:06, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
Apokryltaros If you're not too busy, I wonder if you could explain the graphic time-line in the upper right corner of the article on the Cenozoic. I don't understand why the Cenozoic is vertical but the Mesozoic is horizontal. I see the progression of years (is that "millions of years before present"?) on the left, so I can kind of understand the block of time for the Cenozoic, but I don't understand why Mesozoic is across the bottom. I also don't understand why the Mesozoic is turquoise and why there is a turquoise band to the left of Cenozoic. I guess they are supposed to be two different shades of blue, with the lighter one meaning "Phanerozoic" (but I don't know what that means, either). I guess the Paleogene, Neogene, and Quaternary are sections of the Cenozoic. Corinne ( talk) 01:12, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
In response to a request for a copy-edit of Megalodon at WP:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests, I am going to read through the article. I promise you I will be very careful not to change anything I am not sure of. I may ask you for your opinion on some things, if you don't mind. I know archaeologists and paleontologists have their own lingo, but I have to ask you about the use of the preposition "under". I have edited quite a few botany articles, and I never saw that preposition used to indicate the genus, or family, or species of a plant. Is "under" used more in paleontology? See the second paragraph of the article, which I will copy here:
Is it "under", as in "classified under"? (In botany, they use "in".)
Also, whether or not "under" is correct for "under family...", but especially if it is correct, there's another "under" that I wonder about: "and is still under dispute". I wonder if "in" would be better: "is still in dispute"? Which do you prefer? Corinne ( talk) 01:26, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
Apokryltaros (I get side-tracked reading linked articles while I copy-edit long articles like Megalodon.) I just read Isthmus of Panama, and I saw a few minor things I'll fix later, but I wanted to ask you about something. In the section Isthmus of Panama#Biosphere is the following sentence:
I was wondering why amphibians were not included in this list. Aren't frogs amphibians? I thought the brightly colored frogs of Central and South America are well known. Also, there is nothing here to explain how the "tropic climate...encourages...large and brightly coloured species". (Also, a minor issue, why is this in British spelling when it's about the Americas?)
Also, I wanted to point out the "citation needed" tag at the end of the Isthmus of Panama#Geology section to you and/or Vsmith. It has been there since September 2013. Corinne ( talk) 20:42, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Comedy horror • Team sport Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) 07:22, 2 November 2015 (UTC) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Apokryltaros and Rothorpe I wanted to ask you both what you thought of this sentence. It's the second sentence in Megalodon#Skeletal anatomy:
I'd like you to focus particularly on "its jaws would have been massive, stouter, and more strongly developed..."
In those three modifiers, we have:
I'm wondering whether "massive" should be in the comparative form ("more massive"). If so, is this combination all right? –
or should we substitute a "long" adjective for "stouter" so all three are "long" adjectives (using "more"). What do you think? Corinne ( talk) 19:51, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
Apokryltaros, I've got to ask you about this sentence, the second-to-last sentence in the section Megalodon#Skeletal anatomy:
(You'll see in the edit history that I changed "in comparison to that of the great whale" to "in comparison to those of the great whale", assuming that "those" refers to "relative and proportional changes".)
I don't understand this sentence. I skimmed the linked article Ontogenetic, and it seemed to say that ontology had to do with development of a creature during its lifetime. If that is correct, then the "relative and proportional changes in megalodon skeletal features" occur while it is developing, or growing. So where is the comparison, if those same features "occur in great white sharks while growing"? Corinne ( talk) 20:11, 1 November 2015 (UTC)
On 3 November 2015, Did you know was updated with a fact from the article Termite, which you recently created, substantially expanded, or brought to good article status. The fact was ... that 43 termite species (examples pictured) are used as food by humans or are fed to livestock? The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Termite. You are welcome to check how many page hits the article got while on the front page ( here's how, live views, daily totals), and it may be added to the statistics page if the total is over 5,000. Finally, if you know of an interesting fact from another recently created article, then please feel free to suggest it on the Did you know talk page. |
Cas Liber ( talk · contribs) 00:01, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
Hi Corinne. Thanks for the c/e. I've rewrote the plot section and my friend cum FAC (not opened yet) co-nominator Ssven2 made a few changes. Visit the section once and make/suggest changes required if any. Pavanjandhyala ( talk) 11:14, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
Well, all the five Pandavas were the husbands of Draupadi. And, all the Pandavas lost their wealth, liberty and Draupadi. Yudhisthira was representing the five and Shakuni was representing the hundred Kauravas. Strangely, we can see neither the Pandavas nor Draupadi throughout the film. In a scene, Krishna comes to know that Draupadi is being disrobed and saves her. That's all. That incident was dealt in a detailed manner in other films. This is mentioned in detail in the plot because most of the conflict in the story revolves around this incident. And regarding the quote, i changed it to "Later, Duryodhana's father Dhritarashtra declared the game's result as void and restored everything back to normal". Would that suffice?
Lastly and surely optional. I suggest you to try to watch the film (original version, not the colourised version as many portions were omitted in the latter) once in your extremely leisure time. That may help you understand the story well. It is surely worth your time and being India's greatest film of all time, it will surely not disappoint you. Our YouTube (India) showed no video with subtitles. Perhaps your country's YouTube may! Let me know if you intend to, and also when you've completed watching it. Pavanjandhyala ( talk) 17:17, 4 November 2015 (UTC)
The Copyeditor's Barnstar | ||
For your excellent work on Kingdom of Hungary (1000–1301). Thank you. Have a nice week! Borsoka ( talk) 04:46, 8 November 2015 (UTC) |
Dank I was just looking at your edits to India House, and I saw this edit: [7]. I know that in the next edit you moved the period to outside the double square brackets of the link, but I don't understand your addition of "Bal Gangadhar Tilak" after a pipe. It's the same name as before the pipe. What am I missing?
On another issue, I've seen you placing commas before adverbial clauses ("......., although....."). I've always understood that no comma is to precede an adverbial clause that comes after the main, or independent, clause. Corinne ( talk) 04:18, 6 November 2015 (UTC)
Hai, could you please help copyediting this Indian film article Urumi (film). Article contains a lots of matter, but badly written. So need good copy editor to do some work. Requesting for your help. -- Charles Turing ( talk) 18:48, 5 November 2015 (UTC)
Marie Serneholt at the 48th Guldbagge Awards.
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Allegra Versace • Comedy horror Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:34, 9 November 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Hi Corinne. I'm somewhat familiar with your copyediting work (having crossed paths at FAC and having checked some of your recent edits), and I'd like to invite you to do a few WP:TFA summaries. If you're interested, pick a subject area you enjoy or a wikiproject you have a good relationship with, and keep an eye out for new articles that Chris and Brian post at WP:TFAA. I'll be happy to help. - Dank ( push to talk) 23:24, 22 September 2015 (UTC)
Great. I recommend you watchlist these four pages:
Within a few days, all of those links will light up. Pick one of those to work on that you're comfortable with ... they will come either from article leads or from WP:TFAR (and most of the work will be done already if they come from TFAR, but there will probably be things you'll want to tweak). You're welcome to pass on those if you like and pick one from the next batch of four. I reserve the right to fiddle with your results to comply with other people's rules (MOS, FAC standards, etc.), but don't worry about that ... just do whatever seems right to you. - Dank ( push to talk) 14:27, 23 September 2015 (UTC)
You're doing great ... you see some of the same things I do, and you're doing some things I wouldn't do. The mental workout this gives me is worth the price of admission. Before we get started: I'm going to be insisting that we do some things my way rather than your way ... but I want you to know that this isn't the way I usually operate, it's a reality that comes with TFA. People want their FAC and TFA copyeditors to make the same calls that have been made before, and the coordinator job requires a certain fussiness. So for now, I need to be pretty hands-on. I hope that's okay. So, some comments:
( edit conflict) User:Dank Thanks! and thank you for the pointers. When deciding whether to leave a word in or take it out, do I need to look at the original source? Corinne ( talk) 21:38, 26 September 2015 (UTC)
I'll get a chance to look at it in an hour. If you add "?action=purge" after a url, that makes transcluded pages show the most recent changes (for instance, if you're looking at WP:FAC, it will fetch the most recent version of all the individual FAC pages to display). You don't need to purge when you're working on an individual TFA to see your changes. - Dank ( push to talk) 23:54, 26 September 2015 (UTC)
Dank Yes. There's a difference between these two sentences and the first sentence in the Charles Domery paragraph. In these two sentences, the subject is already known and/or identified.
In the first sentence in the Domery paragraph, the two phrases, "a Polish soldier" and "noted for...", are both being used to identify Charles Domery. He was a Polish soldier who was noted for eating a lot (whatever it says). If you put a comma before "noted for", you are making it an afterthought, which minimizes it, when in fact it is the most important part of the identification.
He was not just a Polish soldier. He was a Polish soldier who was known for eating a lot. (I think I prefer "known for" over "noted for".) Also, in your first example, it says "our first president". It doesn't say "a president". If it said, "was a president [who was] known as the father of his country", then you could leave out the comma because the phrase "known as the father of his country" is essential to identify the person.
In the second example, "Bunny Bread is a market leader, available in grocery stores statewide", it is really, "Bunny Bread is a market leader, [and it is] available in stores statewide". The last phrase (a shortened clause) is giving additional not-particularly-important information and is not being used to identify Bunny Bread.
You could also say that the sentence is really, "Bunny Bread is a market leader that is available in stores statewide." If this is intended, the adjective clause "that is available in stores statewide" is modifying "market leader" and is restrictive – it is essential for identifying "market leader" – thus, no comma before it; and, if this is intended, it can be written like this, or "that is" can be removed, leaving: "Bunny Bread is a market leader available in stores statewide". In this case, "available in stores statewide" is important information. In the first way, preceded by a comma, this information is less important.
Bunny Bread is a market leader, [and it is] available statewide.
Bunny Bread is a market leader that is available statewide. Bunny Bread is a market leader [that is] available statewide.
At least that's the way I see it. Corinne ( talk) 02:55, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
Btw, back to where this all started: I'm looking for people to write a few TFA summaries. I've been suggesting this plan for many months, and gotten basically no support for it, because FAC writers would apparently prefer to deal with one person rather than several. Things came to a head recently when there were a couple of TFAs that I didn't want to work on, for one reason or another, but now that I've gotten started with looking for help, I want to try to make this work. My position is that wikiprojects react very positively at FAC and TFA when they feel they have a copyeditor "of their own", someone who knows their wikiproject standards as well as FAC and TFA standards, at least well enough to get the job done. So, where this is going is ... be thinking about which wikiproject(s) you enjoy working with the most, and after you've picked a few more TFAs to work on, I'll ask you to specialize in TFAs for one or more wikiprojects. - Dank ( push to talk) 16:59, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
Sure, I'll find some for you to work on in the next batch. Sorry for the miscommunication; I was just looking for a few people to work on a few TFAs. - Dank ( push to talk) 01:22, 13 October 2015 (UTC)
Hi Corinne, I've chosen the Foundation of Moldavia article as my next GA review. Borsoka and I started a discussion of whether the word, "founding" better befits the title than "foundation". Perhaps you could look over the discussion at Talk:Foundation of Moldavia#Questions prior to GA review and give your opinion, since I see that you are interested in and knowledgeable about English usage. Sincerely, User:HopsonRoad 21:24, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
Hello, Corinne. Does this name mean anything to you? You might be interested in my talk page note. Rothorpe ( talk) 18:42, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
If you want to, please take a look at the article about Marie Serneholt, which is this weeks selected TAFI article. Regards,-- BabbaQ ( talk) 16:27, 13 November 2015 (UTC)
teaching English to speakers of other languages
Thank you for quality collaborative contributions to articles such as
Cucurbita, teaching English to speakers of other languages, achieving to make "sentences clear and concise, flow smoothly, and make sense", for
exquisite edit summaries, for a bounty of inspiration on your user page full of colourful and peaceful images, - you are an
awesome Wikipedian!
A year ago, you were recipient no. 1032 of Precious, a prize of QAI! -- Gerda Arendt ( talk) 14:47, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
Dank and Rothorpe I need both of your opinions:
In response to a request for a copy-edit at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests, I have been reading and copy-editing the article on David Rolf. It was pretty well written as it was; I only made a few small changes. However, there is something that is bothering me, and I'd like your opinion. In the lead, the first sentence of the second paragraph is:
Well, now that I look at it, there are two things that are bothering me. I'll take the easy one first:
1) Do you think the sentence is too long? If so, how would you break it up?
(a) Rolf grew up in Cincinnati. He was influenced by... (and all the rest).
(b) Growing up in Cincinnati, Rolf was influenced by... (not really breaking the sentence up, but the sentence could still be broken up)
(c) Rolf grew up in Cincinnati and was influenced by members of his family, including his mother, who worked as a unionized teacher, and his grandfathers. [BREAK SENTENCE HERE] His maternal grandfather was a General motors employee....... His paternal grandfather was a Procter & Gamble employee who....
2) The other thing that bothered me was "a Procter & Gamble employee who funded law school". It wasn't clear to me what was meant by "who funded law school". I figured it was "who paid for law school" because right after that it says he "eventually became a lawyer", but I think "who funded law school" sounds odd. (Also, it says that David Rolf's father was a lawyer, so I thought, maybe he was paying for his son's law school education.) Later, in the second paragraph in David Rolf#Early life and education, we read:
Here, "worked...at a Procter & Gamble soap factor in order to fund law school", is a little clearer, but I think I still prefer "in order to pay for law school" or "in order to put himself through law school". What do you think? Corinne ( talk) 01:25, 15 November 2015 (UTC)
A continuum of
goods and services
The following is WikiProject Today's articles for improvement's weekly selection: Please be bold and help to improve this article! Previous selections: Marie Serneholt • Allegra Versace Get involved with the TAFI project. You can: Nominate an article • Review nominations Posted by: EuroCarGT ( talk) 00:16, 16 November 2015 (UTC) using MediaWiki message delivery ( talk) on behalf of WikiProject TAFI • |
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Vsmith I've never given much thought to collecting and prominently displaying the few barnstars I've received, but I've been thinking that it might be nice to put them all in one place. Is there any way to find them easily and put them on my user page? I think it would be too tedious to search for them manually. Corinne ( talk) 23:43, 15 November 2015 (UTC)