As the movie develops, add anything necessary to this list.
Starts with a black background with theme song playing.
A long time into the future, in a website not far away:
The face of Wikipedia has been brightened. The Coalition of Vandals has been overthrown, and all its members except the omnipresent WILLY ON WHEELS and the VANDAL vaporised. JIMBO and his cohorts have restored peace to the Foundation, and promotions and attraction of new users has been accelerated in an effort to help restore the former glory of WIKIPEDIA.
Little do they know, however, that this facade of peace is soon to be destroyed. WILLY ON WHEELS has survived the assault on the Coalition headquarters, and has embarked on a meatpuppeteering episode of unprecedented proportions. Meanwhile, a new rebellion, inspired by WILLY ON WHEELS, is brewing on an obscure, faraway planet, and its leaders are biding their time, before WIKIPEDIA can be destroyed in an episode of all-out vandalism.
Will Jimbo win, or will he be destroyed forever? The single decision of a newly promoted bureaucrat may hold the difference between survival, or, destruction . . .
Willy on Wheels slowly marches out from a pall of darkness into a sea of light. As he walks forwards, Vandal 1 slowly marches into the light, slightly behind and to the right of Willy. Then, Vandal 2 appears even further behind, and to the opposite side. Camera moves to overhead and stays there. March continues on, all the way up to Vandal 10. Vandals then slowly march to the bottom of the screen and out of sight.
Jimbo is standing on a large podium, behind a microphone desk with the logo of Wikipedia painted prominently on the front, on a white background. 12 stewards sit at curved Supreme Court-esque benches, curving towards the camera, with 6 on each side of Jimbo. All the Wikipedians sit in a vast array of chairs below the podium, extending far into the distance. Whoop whoop pull up stands in front of the podium, facing Jimbo. She places her right hand on her heart.
All stewards run forwards to hug Whoop whoop pull up. Slow fade out.
Willy on Wheels is sitting on a huge throne inside of a huge lair - I mean hall. His 10 key vandals stand by his side.
(leaves and returns with stacks upon stacks of papers)
(gasps of shock and horror)
(camera zooms out)
(celebration for Whoop whoop pull up's new user right begins)
Vandals 4 and 5 are, at that moment, climbing up the Tampa Skyscraper, where this meeting is being held. Camera moves up with them, zooming in on them, so that we can never know their exact location.
Vandal 5 takes out a megaphone and begins shouting into it.
The Attorney General from the first film bursts into the hall of Wikipedians.
Camera abruptly zooms out, to show that they are, indeed, on the roof of the Tampa Skyscraper, with no visible means of escape.
Everyone - apart from the vandals - makes it out in time. Suddenly, the tower disappears before everyone's eyes. A Wilhelm scream is heard as Vandals 4 and 5 are seen falling down from a great height. They hit the ground with a tremendous noise and shoot right through the soil, disappearing from the view of everyone above ground.
Long pause inserted for dramatic effect. Camera abruptly zooms out, showing all the users.
Camera abruptly zooms out once again.
Even while in knowledge of this, they remain unaware that a few sockpuppets and rouge admins have infiltrated the Wikipedia.
Confetti blows around in the air. Camera starts panning downwards. Jimbo's army of users gradually disappears from sight.
In our descent, we see Vandals 4 and 5 still falling through the soil. Suddenly, they fall through a huge rock and then a spacetime warp, and find themselves back in Willy on Wheels' lair.
Willy on Wheels faints.
Sound fades away.
(Camera pans out)
Camera quickly goes back above ground to show Jimbo's army of users. Suddenly, the Attorney General springs out.
Whoop whoop pull up's hand shoots up.
Cut to scene in a bar.
Vandal 3 drops caesium in water. Bar blows up, blowing the Wikipedians (and everyone else in the bar) sky-high. The Wikipedians crash through a building and find themselves in a court...to see...
Suddenly, all the users crash into the courtroom.
They all run out of the courtroom and into the (newly rebuilt) Tampa Skyscraper.
Police chase users.
Every article on Wikipedia gets redirected to ED
(camera quickly moves far to the right)
Opening 8 notes of Symphony No. 5 (Beethoven) play
Screen turns black, and then shows, to reveal a bloody mass of leaking meat.
Camera zooms back to the Wikipedians, now in the Tampa Skyscraper, oblivious to the damage that has been done to Wikipedia.
The Erlking starts playing again.
(music abruptly stops)
Deletion Log: (clogged with complete deletion of all Wikipedia content)
1 yoctosecond later, he's done.
User:FanaticDeletionistBot - I am a bot that helps delete all content on Wikipedia.
A few seconds later...
User:FanaticDeletionistBot - I am a bastard that destroys Wikipedia and also a LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE. End of line.
You have been blocked indefinitely from editing Wikipedia as a result of your constructive edits. You are free to make destructive edits after the block has expired, but please note that constructive edits (including page creation or addition of sensible text), brilliant prose, deliberate information, userpage creations, vandalism reversion and repeated, blatant violations of our policies concerning a biased point of view and biographies of dead penguins will not be tolerated. You are a lousy bitch, FanaticDeletionistBot Delete me!! recent deletions
(dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun DUN)
(voice mutates as it continues)
Screen fades
Screen shows
Suddenly, ClueBot enters.
Welcome to Wikipedia. Everyone is welcome to make constructive contributions to Wikipedia, but at least one of your recent edits, such as the one you made to Jimbo Wales, did not appear to be constructive and has been automatically reverted by ClueBot.
"Operation Enduring Encyclopedia" is changed to "Operation Destroying Encyclopedia"
and then it is reverted
Welcome to Wikipedia. Everyone is welcome to make constructive contributions to Wikipedia, but at least one of your recent edits, such as the one you made to User:ClueBot, did not appear to be constructive and has been automatically reverted (undone) by ClueBot NG.
Enter website simulation. Camera pans out to a different room of the Tampa Skyscraper labelled "Lecture Room 1 / Lecture In Progress / What Wikipedia is not".
Professor Raul654 walks in.
Enter simulated reality.
Cesium water.theora.ogv
ozoneaurora Over 9000 uploads Subscribe
Like Dislike
0 likes 0 dislikes
Uploaded by
ozoneaurora on 28 May 2008
Video description: A reaction of a small piece of caesium with cold water. Hydrogen is liberated that burns, and very strongly alkaline caesium hydroxide is formed in solution.
A silhouette appears.
257 silhouettes appear one after another. After the first few, they are sped through very quickly.
Another silhouette appears.
And yet another silhouette appears. He looks at Silhouette 259's comments, shakes his head, and writes next to his comment:
Fast-forward through simulation.
At the end of the day:
ozoneaurora Over 9000 uploads Subscribe
Like Dislike
28571097501614146 likes 129485719275 dislikes
Uploaded by
ozoneaurora on 28 May 2008
Video description: A reaction of a small piece of caesium with cold water. Hydrogen is liberated that burns, and very strongly alkaline caesium hydroxide is formed in solution.
A vast cavern of doom approaches. It encroaches on Ozone aurora minute by minute.
Then cut back to the lecture room.
Door flings open.
Jimbo is standing on a large podium again in the same room. The set-up is exactly the same as in Scene 2.
Everyone gasps in shock and horror.
Camera cuts to a stormy area of Wikipedia. Many vandals are seen frozen in an ice block. Suddenly, lightning strikes the ice block and the vandals thaw out. They run towards the Tampa Skyscraper and burst into the meeting room.
Camera shifts slowly to a room with many sockpuppets inside.
Floor falls in
Puppetmaster's eyes suddenly bulge; he looks straight at the camera.
After John Broughton created Wikipedia: The Missing Manual, Vandal 1 gets an idea...
Vandal 1 proceeds to write the book. Show him scribbling in fast-forward, with the William Tell Overture playing.
So the vandals called the hackers and the hackers switched the protection settings...
Vandal 1 carries out his plan.
Main Page gets deleted. Vandals 1 and 2 pull off their faces, which are revealed to be fake. They are actually the notorious vandals Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis.
Whoop whoop pull up and Wikipedians 1 through 50 burst in. Puppetmaster, sockpuppets, and rouge admin vanish before the Wikipedians notice them. Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis are less lucky.
Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis bolt.
TO BE CONTINUED
They chase after Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis. Fade out.
On the First day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 100 page moves!
On the Second day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 200 goatse.cx hello.jpgs.
blah blah blah
On the Twelfth day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 1200 Willy-puppets performing 6,817,981 page moves!
The above is inserted into MediaWiki:Sitenotice
Third Battle of Tampa City | |||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Part of Wikipedian-Uncyclopedian War | |||||||
The W.P.S. Tornado sinking after hitting an Uncyclopedian mine in Tampa Bay. | |||||||
| |||||||
Belligerents | |||||||
Wikipedia | Uncyclopedia | ||||||
Commanders and leaders | |||||||
Jimbo Wales | Willy on Wheels | ||||||
Strength | |||||||
932,000 users, 1 tank, 394 submarines, 2 heavy cruisers |
857,000 vandals, 382 tanks, 1,650 submarines, 4 aircraft carriers, 8 heavy cruisers, 15 light cruisers, 27 destroyers | ||||||
Casualties and losses | |||||||
888,000 users killed, 1 tank destroyed, 305 submarines sunk, 2 heavy cruisers sunk |
457,000 vandals killed, 273 tanks destroyed, 417 submarines sunk, 1 aircraft carrier destroyed, 2 heavy cruisers destroyed, 5 light cruisers destroyed, 20 destroyers destroyed |
(Cut to scene of Tornado and Garrote steaming into Tampa Bay, Garrote leading. It disgorges its troops safely and fires into the Uncyclopedian gun battery, causing it to explode and obliterating the Uncyclopedian First Army. However, the Tornado strikes an Uncyclopedian mine and explodes. It sinks with all hands.) (Jimbo's command tank moves inland from Tampa Beach.)
(cut to scene of surviving 0.000001% of the Wikipedian army running and escaping in submarines, while Willy on Wheels proceeds to destroy Tampa City.)
(a stray piece of metal comes flying down and concusses him)
Suddenly, it begins to rain.
The sodium ignites.
The entire screen is filled with a huge sodium explosion. After the flames die down, the screen turns completely black.
Cut to a submarine. Mav, Jimbo and Whoop whoop pull up are visible.
Camera fades out.
A penguin waddles up
Thekillerpenguin grabs a Block 17, activates rocket feet, and blasts off, leaving a gaping hole in the ceiling. He flies off to a secret vandal outpost where his scans have indicated a few accounts in a run-down WikiJail. He arrives within minutes.
The Vandal Guard turns to investigates the disturbance, but before he knows it, he has a razor-sharp flipper-shaped blade in his abdomen. He falls down, as Thekillerpenguin laser-eyes his corpse to evade detection.
Thekillerpenguin uses his cloaking device to become invisible. He then crawls through an air vent to reach the torture room. He pops the hatch open quietly and sneaks past the outer guards. He then gets up close and has a shocking revelation.
Thekillerpenguin hacks the P.A., and sends a false alarm. The torturers and guards run to the alarm. Thekillerpenguin frees the torturees, and calls the Counter Vandalism Unit. The CVU arrive in riot gear.
A rouge admin kills all the CVU troopers, but Thekillerpenguin headshots him with his Block 17. JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason appear.
Thekillerpenguin shoots both banned users in the, uh, spot below the abdomen, and evacuates the captured Wikipedians. As both banned users are in extreme pain, Thekillerpenguin spits a caustic gas at the two, who are promptly knocked out. Thekillerpenguin then makes a hasty offering to Zeus, who throws two thunderbolts at them. They are soon sent into a temporary coma.
Thekillerpenguin stays behind to eliminate the horde of vandals going after the escaping Wikipedians. He fires the last volley of Block 17 shots he has, before throwing the weapon away in disgust. He then slaughters many more vandals with his blades and laser eyes, against an increasingly large force of vandals. He fights for several hours, slicing and burning away the vandals. As his energy levels are starting to get low, he grows tired, and is hit by a volley of attacks from JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason, sending his health to critical levels. Now, he is covered with a large amount of vandal blood. Vandals' blood is pouring across the flaming battlefield in giant rivers. Decapitated heads, mauled torsos, sliced limbs, and flesh bits of vandals cover the ground. Thekillerpenguin himself is bleeding heavily, kneeling on the ground, with huge numbers of arrows and bullets embedded in him in a Custer-esque style. Willy on Wheels arrives at the chamber, and all the vandals clear the space around the penguin. WoW walks up to Thekillerpenguin, pulls out a Desert Eagle, and points it at Thekillerpenguin's head.
Screen fades as the shot of a Desert Eagle is heard.
The Wikipedians are seen escaping through a secret passage. The Wikipedians scatter in all directions in the tunnels. Camera follows two of them.
(camera moves upwards and then moves to the submarine)
Focus on Whoop whoop pull up's receiver
A message appears
Whoop whoop pull up flinches in anger, while Mav releases his breath. Another message appears."
A message appears
A large quandry of pumas and dragons runs toward Whoop whoop pull up and Mav.
Whoop whoop pull up jumps on a WikiPuma, whlie Mav grabs a WikiDragon
They walk in silence for a few hours, then Brambleberry of RiverClan passes through a sign that reads: WARNING! YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER THE "WHAT IS A TROLL?" WOODS.
Mav notices a small user being attacked by a pack of trolls and jumps off of Brambleberry of RiverClan, running towards them. The trolls notice and find the group, running after them and prepared to attack.
Mav jumps back onto Brambleberry of RiverClan. The trolls charge, but Brambleberry of Riverclan manages to evade them by running at top speed. Soon, they reach WP:ELEM.
They get to work creating and improving articles. Suddenly, a vandal pops up from behind a large rock.
He drops dead, bleeding from several dozen bullet wounds to his chest and abdomen. Whoop whoop pull up reholsters her FG 42.
After much time searching, they discover the two who found the way in, being bound against their will. One WikiPuma uses her razor-sharp claws to release them, setting off an alarm that brings all the vandals to the room.
Battle of WP:ELEM | |||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Part of Wikipedian/Uncyclopedian War | |||||||
One of the deceased, a WikiPuma before leaping into action. | |||||||
| |||||||
Belligerents | |||||||
Wikipedia WikiPumas | Uncyclopedia | ||||||
Commanders and leaders | |||||||
Brambleberry of RiverClan | Willy on Wheels | ||||||
Strength | |||||||
4 users 30,000,000 WikiPumas | 15,000,000 vandals | ||||||
Casualties and losses | |||||||
1 user killed 5,000,000 WikiPumas killed 5,000,000 WikiPumas injured | 12,500,000 vandals killed |
Brambleberry of RiverClan charges into battle, attacking three vandals at once and killing them instantly, while the others of her kind follow suit. Whoop whoop pull up and Mav begin shooting almost immediately, while the two users who were previously tied up hide in a corner with no weapons. Whoop whoop pull up tosses them longswords. A vandal jumps up and rides a WikiPuma, who immediately starts bucking like a horse.
Vandal 3 is shot. Brambleberry of RiverClan comes running up to Whoop whoop pull up.
Brambleberry of RiverClan leaps away, tearing at Vandals 6 and 7. Meanwhile, numbers 4, 5, and 9 are lying dead on the ground in a pool of their own blood. That leaves 2, 8, 10, and obviously 1.
Whoop whoop pull up runs to where Mav is. The soldier is pinned to the wall where Vandal 2, a 300-pound brute who's all muscle, is preparing to stab. Whoop whoop pull up shoots Vandal 2 a dozen times until the warrior finally falls, breathing but wounded. Brambleberry of RiverClan tears out his throat.
A loud, long, yowl is heard.
She jumps off and finds WikiPumas being cut down left and right by Vandal 8, the only female of the council. She is a red-haired young woman with razor-sharp teeth and anorexia. Suddenly, Wikipedian 1 attacks, throwing his longsword and managing somehow to stab her in the back. Then Vandal 10 cuts his throat, and Brambleberry jumps, knocking Vandal 10 down and scratching at his chest until he stops breathing.
Vandal 1 stops as he hears his name. Brambleberry of RiverClan sights him and leaps, grabbing him by his shirt collar and dragging him out of the battle, right outside of WP:ELEM.
Brambleberry of RiverClan lets go and jumps out of the way. Before Vandal 1 knows what's going on, he gets shot through the temple.
A man that looks reminiscent of Jimbo Wales walks slowly up. His pants and shirt are torn at the knee and elbow, and his shirt is unbuttoned. He has no shoes or socks, and he walks with a limp, possibly because of a bullethole wound in his lower leg. His beard is much thicker than the Jimbo Wales beard we know, but to the Wikipedians and WikiPumas, they know that it must be him. Wales has a bowie knife in one hand and a Colt in the other. The Wikipedians get down on their knees, and the WikiPumas bow their heads.
The camera pans away slowly, revealing the whole world, which is pieced together like Wikipedia.
Dedicated to Jimbo Wales
Wikipedia: The Musical |
Movies in bold are completed; movies in italics are still under construction.
Spinoffs:
None
As the movie develops, add anything necessary to this list.
Starts with a black background with theme song playing.
A long time into the future, in a website not far away:
The face of Wikipedia has been brightened. The Coalition of Vandals has been overthrown, and all its members except the omnipresent WILLY ON WHEELS and the VANDAL vaporised. JIMBO and his cohorts have restored peace to the Foundation, and promotions and attraction of new users has been accelerated in an effort to help restore the former glory of WIKIPEDIA.
Little do they know, however, that this facade of peace is soon to be destroyed. WILLY ON WHEELS has survived the assault on the Coalition headquarters, and has embarked on a meatpuppeteering episode of unprecedented proportions. Meanwhile, a new rebellion, inspired by WILLY ON WHEELS, is brewing on an obscure, faraway planet, and its leaders are biding their time, before WIKIPEDIA can be destroyed in an episode of all-out vandalism.
Will Jimbo win, or will he be destroyed forever? The single decision of a newly promoted bureaucrat may hold the difference between survival, or, destruction . . .
Willy on Wheels slowly marches out from a pall of darkness into a sea of light. As he walks forwards, Vandal 1 slowly marches into the light, slightly behind and to the right of Willy. Then, Vandal 2 appears even further behind, and to the opposite side. Camera moves to overhead and stays there. March continues on, all the way up to Vandal 10. Vandals then slowly march to the bottom of the screen and out of sight.
Jimbo is standing on a large podium, behind a microphone desk with the logo of Wikipedia painted prominently on the front, on a white background. 12 stewards sit at curved Supreme Court-esque benches, curving towards the camera, with 6 on each side of Jimbo. All the Wikipedians sit in a vast array of chairs below the podium, extending far into the distance. Whoop whoop pull up stands in front of the podium, facing Jimbo. She places her right hand on her heart.
All stewards run forwards to hug Whoop whoop pull up. Slow fade out.
Willy on Wheels is sitting on a huge throne inside of a huge lair - I mean hall. His 10 key vandals stand by his side.
(leaves and returns with stacks upon stacks of papers)
(gasps of shock and horror)
(camera zooms out)
(celebration for Whoop whoop pull up's new user right begins)
Vandals 4 and 5 are, at that moment, climbing up the Tampa Skyscraper, where this meeting is being held. Camera moves up with them, zooming in on them, so that we can never know their exact location.
Vandal 5 takes out a megaphone and begins shouting into it.
The Attorney General from the first film bursts into the hall of Wikipedians.
Camera abruptly zooms out, to show that they are, indeed, on the roof of the Tampa Skyscraper, with no visible means of escape.
Everyone - apart from the vandals - makes it out in time. Suddenly, the tower disappears before everyone's eyes. A Wilhelm scream is heard as Vandals 4 and 5 are seen falling down from a great height. They hit the ground with a tremendous noise and shoot right through the soil, disappearing from the view of everyone above ground.
Long pause inserted for dramatic effect. Camera abruptly zooms out, showing all the users.
Camera abruptly zooms out once again.
Even while in knowledge of this, they remain unaware that a few sockpuppets and rouge admins have infiltrated the Wikipedia.
Confetti blows around in the air. Camera starts panning downwards. Jimbo's army of users gradually disappears from sight.
In our descent, we see Vandals 4 and 5 still falling through the soil. Suddenly, they fall through a huge rock and then a spacetime warp, and find themselves back in Willy on Wheels' lair.
Willy on Wheels faints.
Sound fades away.
(Camera pans out)
Camera quickly goes back above ground to show Jimbo's army of users. Suddenly, the Attorney General springs out.
Whoop whoop pull up's hand shoots up.
Cut to scene in a bar.
Vandal 3 drops caesium in water. Bar blows up, blowing the Wikipedians (and everyone else in the bar) sky-high. The Wikipedians crash through a building and find themselves in a court...to see...
Suddenly, all the users crash into the courtroom.
They all run out of the courtroom and into the (newly rebuilt) Tampa Skyscraper.
Police chase users.
Every article on Wikipedia gets redirected to ED
(camera quickly moves far to the right)
Opening 8 notes of Symphony No. 5 (Beethoven) play
Screen turns black, and then shows, to reveal a bloody mass of leaking meat.
Camera zooms back to the Wikipedians, now in the Tampa Skyscraper, oblivious to the damage that has been done to Wikipedia.
The Erlking starts playing again.
(music abruptly stops)
Deletion Log: (clogged with complete deletion of all Wikipedia content)
1 yoctosecond later, he's done.
User:FanaticDeletionistBot - I am a bot that helps delete all content on Wikipedia.
A few seconds later...
User:FanaticDeletionistBot - I am a bastard that destroys Wikipedia and also a LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE. End of line.
You have been blocked indefinitely from editing Wikipedia as a result of your constructive edits. You are free to make destructive edits after the block has expired, but please note that constructive edits (including page creation or addition of sensible text), brilliant prose, deliberate information, userpage creations, vandalism reversion and repeated, blatant violations of our policies concerning a biased point of view and biographies of dead penguins will not be tolerated. You are a lousy bitch, FanaticDeletionistBot Delete me!! recent deletions
(dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun DUN)
(voice mutates as it continues)
Screen fades
Screen shows
Suddenly, ClueBot enters.
Welcome to Wikipedia. Everyone is welcome to make constructive contributions to Wikipedia, but at least one of your recent edits, such as the one you made to Jimbo Wales, did not appear to be constructive and has been automatically reverted by ClueBot.
"Operation Enduring Encyclopedia" is changed to "Operation Destroying Encyclopedia"
and then it is reverted
Welcome to Wikipedia. Everyone is welcome to make constructive contributions to Wikipedia, but at least one of your recent edits, such as the one you made to User:ClueBot, did not appear to be constructive and has been automatically reverted (undone) by ClueBot NG.
Enter website simulation. Camera pans out to a different room of the Tampa Skyscraper labelled "Lecture Room 1 / Lecture In Progress / What Wikipedia is not".
Professor Raul654 walks in.
Enter simulated reality.
Cesium water.theora.ogv
ozoneaurora Over 9000 uploads Subscribe
Like Dislike
0 likes 0 dislikes
Uploaded by
ozoneaurora on 28 May 2008
Video description: A reaction of a small piece of caesium with cold water. Hydrogen is liberated that burns, and very strongly alkaline caesium hydroxide is formed in solution.
A silhouette appears.
257 silhouettes appear one after another. After the first few, they are sped through very quickly.
Another silhouette appears.
And yet another silhouette appears. He looks at Silhouette 259's comments, shakes his head, and writes next to his comment:
Fast-forward through simulation.
At the end of the day:
ozoneaurora Over 9000 uploads Subscribe
Like Dislike
28571097501614146 likes 129485719275 dislikes
Uploaded by
ozoneaurora on 28 May 2008
Video description: A reaction of a small piece of caesium with cold water. Hydrogen is liberated that burns, and very strongly alkaline caesium hydroxide is formed in solution.
A vast cavern of doom approaches. It encroaches on Ozone aurora minute by minute.
Then cut back to the lecture room.
Door flings open.
Jimbo is standing on a large podium again in the same room. The set-up is exactly the same as in Scene 2.
Everyone gasps in shock and horror.
Camera cuts to a stormy area of Wikipedia. Many vandals are seen frozen in an ice block. Suddenly, lightning strikes the ice block and the vandals thaw out. They run towards the Tampa Skyscraper and burst into the meeting room.
Camera shifts slowly to a room with many sockpuppets inside.
Floor falls in
Puppetmaster's eyes suddenly bulge; he looks straight at the camera.
After John Broughton created Wikipedia: The Missing Manual, Vandal 1 gets an idea...
Vandal 1 proceeds to write the book. Show him scribbling in fast-forward, with the William Tell Overture playing.
So the vandals called the hackers and the hackers switched the protection settings...
Vandal 1 carries out his plan.
Main Page gets deleted. Vandals 1 and 2 pull off their faces, which are revealed to be fake. They are actually the notorious vandals Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis.
Whoop whoop pull up and Wikipedians 1 through 50 burst in. Puppetmaster, sockpuppets, and rouge admin vanish before the Wikipedians notice them. Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis are less lucky.
Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis bolt.
TO BE CONTINUED
They chase after Mr. Treason and JarlaxleArtemis. Fade out.
On the First day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 100 page moves!
On the Second day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 200 goatse.cx hello.jpgs.
blah blah blah
On the Twelfth day of Christmas my True Willy gave to me, 1200 Willy-puppets performing 6,817,981 page moves!
The above is inserted into MediaWiki:Sitenotice
Third Battle of Tampa City | |||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Part of Wikipedian-Uncyclopedian War | |||||||
The W.P.S. Tornado sinking after hitting an Uncyclopedian mine in Tampa Bay. | |||||||
| |||||||
Belligerents | |||||||
Wikipedia | Uncyclopedia | ||||||
Commanders and leaders | |||||||
Jimbo Wales | Willy on Wheels | ||||||
Strength | |||||||
932,000 users, 1 tank, 394 submarines, 2 heavy cruisers |
857,000 vandals, 382 tanks, 1,650 submarines, 4 aircraft carriers, 8 heavy cruisers, 15 light cruisers, 27 destroyers | ||||||
Casualties and losses | |||||||
888,000 users killed, 1 tank destroyed, 305 submarines sunk, 2 heavy cruisers sunk |
457,000 vandals killed, 273 tanks destroyed, 417 submarines sunk, 1 aircraft carrier destroyed, 2 heavy cruisers destroyed, 5 light cruisers destroyed, 20 destroyers destroyed |
(Cut to scene of Tornado and Garrote steaming into Tampa Bay, Garrote leading. It disgorges its troops safely and fires into the Uncyclopedian gun battery, causing it to explode and obliterating the Uncyclopedian First Army. However, the Tornado strikes an Uncyclopedian mine and explodes. It sinks with all hands.) (Jimbo's command tank moves inland from Tampa Beach.)
(cut to scene of surviving 0.000001% of the Wikipedian army running and escaping in submarines, while Willy on Wheels proceeds to destroy Tampa City.)
(a stray piece of metal comes flying down and concusses him)
Suddenly, it begins to rain.
The sodium ignites.
The entire screen is filled with a huge sodium explosion. After the flames die down, the screen turns completely black.
Cut to a submarine. Mav, Jimbo and Whoop whoop pull up are visible.
Camera fades out.
A penguin waddles up
Thekillerpenguin grabs a Block 17, activates rocket feet, and blasts off, leaving a gaping hole in the ceiling. He flies off to a secret vandal outpost where his scans have indicated a few accounts in a run-down WikiJail. He arrives within minutes.
The Vandal Guard turns to investigates the disturbance, but before he knows it, he has a razor-sharp flipper-shaped blade in his abdomen. He falls down, as Thekillerpenguin laser-eyes his corpse to evade detection.
Thekillerpenguin uses his cloaking device to become invisible. He then crawls through an air vent to reach the torture room. He pops the hatch open quietly and sneaks past the outer guards. He then gets up close and has a shocking revelation.
Thekillerpenguin hacks the P.A., and sends a false alarm. The torturers and guards run to the alarm. Thekillerpenguin frees the torturees, and calls the Counter Vandalism Unit. The CVU arrive in riot gear.
A rouge admin kills all the CVU troopers, but Thekillerpenguin headshots him with his Block 17. JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason appear.
Thekillerpenguin shoots both banned users in the, uh, spot below the abdomen, and evacuates the captured Wikipedians. As both banned users are in extreme pain, Thekillerpenguin spits a caustic gas at the two, who are promptly knocked out. Thekillerpenguin then makes a hasty offering to Zeus, who throws two thunderbolts at them. They are soon sent into a temporary coma.
Thekillerpenguin stays behind to eliminate the horde of vandals going after the escaping Wikipedians. He fires the last volley of Block 17 shots he has, before throwing the weapon away in disgust. He then slaughters many more vandals with his blades and laser eyes, against an increasingly large force of vandals. He fights for several hours, slicing and burning away the vandals. As his energy levels are starting to get low, he grows tired, and is hit by a volley of attacks from JaraxleArtemis and Mr. Treason, sending his health to critical levels. Now, he is covered with a large amount of vandal blood. Vandals' blood is pouring across the flaming battlefield in giant rivers. Decapitated heads, mauled torsos, sliced limbs, and flesh bits of vandals cover the ground. Thekillerpenguin himself is bleeding heavily, kneeling on the ground, with huge numbers of arrows and bullets embedded in him in a Custer-esque style. Willy on Wheels arrives at the chamber, and all the vandals clear the space around the penguin. WoW walks up to Thekillerpenguin, pulls out a Desert Eagle, and points it at Thekillerpenguin's head.
Screen fades as the shot of a Desert Eagle is heard.
The Wikipedians are seen escaping through a secret passage. The Wikipedians scatter in all directions in the tunnels. Camera follows two of them.
(camera moves upwards and then moves to the submarine)
Focus on Whoop whoop pull up's receiver
A message appears
Whoop whoop pull up flinches in anger, while Mav releases his breath. Another message appears."
A message appears
A large quandry of pumas and dragons runs toward Whoop whoop pull up and Mav.
Whoop whoop pull up jumps on a WikiPuma, whlie Mav grabs a WikiDragon
They walk in silence for a few hours, then Brambleberry of RiverClan passes through a sign that reads: WARNING! YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER THE "WHAT IS A TROLL?" WOODS.
Mav notices a small user being attacked by a pack of trolls and jumps off of Brambleberry of RiverClan, running towards them. The trolls notice and find the group, running after them and prepared to attack.
Mav jumps back onto Brambleberry of RiverClan. The trolls charge, but Brambleberry of Riverclan manages to evade them by running at top speed. Soon, they reach WP:ELEM.
They get to work creating and improving articles. Suddenly, a vandal pops up from behind a large rock.
He drops dead, bleeding from several dozen bullet wounds to his chest and abdomen. Whoop whoop pull up reholsters her FG 42.
After much time searching, they discover the two who found the way in, being bound against their will. One WikiPuma uses her razor-sharp claws to release them, setting off an alarm that brings all the vandals to the room.
Battle of WP:ELEM | |||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Part of Wikipedian/Uncyclopedian War | |||||||
One of the deceased, a WikiPuma before leaping into action. | |||||||
| |||||||
Belligerents | |||||||
Wikipedia WikiPumas | Uncyclopedia | ||||||
Commanders and leaders | |||||||
Brambleberry of RiverClan | Willy on Wheels | ||||||
Strength | |||||||
4 users 30,000,000 WikiPumas | 15,000,000 vandals | ||||||
Casualties and losses | |||||||
1 user killed 5,000,000 WikiPumas killed 5,000,000 WikiPumas injured | 12,500,000 vandals killed |
Brambleberry of RiverClan charges into battle, attacking three vandals at once and killing them instantly, while the others of her kind follow suit. Whoop whoop pull up and Mav begin shooting almost immediately, while the two users who were previously tied up hide in a corner with no weapons. Whoop whoop pull up tosses them longswords. A vandal jumps up and rides a WikiPuma, who immediately starts bucking like a horse.
Vandal 3 is shot. Brambleberry of RiverClan comes running up to Whoop whoop pull up.
Brambleberry of RiverClan leaps away, tearing at Vandals 6 and 7. Meanwhile, numbers 4, 5, and 9 are lying dead on the ground in a pool of their own blood. That leaves 2, 8, 10, and obviously 1.
Whoop whoop pull up runs to where Mav is. The soldier is pinned to the wall where Vandal 2, a 300-pound brute who's all muscle, is preparing to stab. Whoop whoop pull up shoots Vandal 2 a dozen times until the warrior finally falls, breathing but wounded. Brambleberry of RiverClan tears out his throat.
A loud, long, yowl is heard.
She jumps off and finds WikiPumas being cut down left and right by Vandal 8, the only female of the council. She is a red-haired young woman with razor-sharp teeth and anorexia. Suddenly, Wikipedian 1 attacks, throwing his longsword and managing somehow to stab her in the back. Then Vandal 10 cuts his throat, and Brambleberry jumps, knocking Vandal 10 down and scratching at his chest until he stops breathing.
Vandal 1 stops as he hears his name. Brambleberry of RiverClan sights him and leaps, grabbing him by his shirt collar and dragging him out of the battle, right outside of WP:ELEM.
Brambleberry of RiverClan lets go and jumps out of the way. Before Vandal 1 knows what's going on, he gets shot through the temple.
A man that looks reminiscent of Jimbo Wales walks slowly up. His pants and shirt are torn at the knee and elbow, and his shirt is unbuttoned. He has no shoes or socks, and he walks with a limp, possibly because of a bullethole wound in his lower leg. His beard is much thicker than the Jimbo Wales beard we know, but to the Wikipedians and WikiPumas, they know that it must be him. Wales has a bowie knife in one hand and a Colt in the other. The Wikipedians get down on their knees, and the WikiPumas bow their heads.
The camera pans away slowly, revealing the whole world, which is pieced together like Wikipedia.
Dedicated to Jimbo Wales
Wikipedia: The Musical |
Movies in bold are completed; movies in italics are still under construction.
Spinoffs:
None