Hello! I'm seeking peer review for this article on a 1992 California wildfire because I plan to nominate it for FA shortly and would like to check my blind spots, so to speak. I am specifically most interested in any feedback on points 1f ("free of plagiarism or too-close paraphrasing") and 4 (is it too detailed?), but any and all suggestions regarding any Manual of Style guidelines I've missed, poor wording, or wider organization/content issues would be welcome feedback.
@
Penitentes: It has been over a month since this PR has been posted. Are you still interested in receiving comments?
Z1720 (
talk) 23:57, 19 November 2023 (UTC)reply
Hey, sorry for the late response—Thanksgiving kept me busy. I'm absolutely still interested.
Penitentes (
talk) 20:29, 26 November 2023 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: If you are interested in comments, I suggest asking at the Wikiprojects attached to this article. In addition, I suggest that you find an
FA mentor since you are still working towards your first successful FAC; the mentor can comment in this PR, too.
Z1720 (
talk) 21:11, 30 November 2023 (UTC)reply
Thank you. I've posted about it on the Wikiproject Wildfire talk page, I'll see where else I can ask—and contact an FA mentor.
Penitentes (
talk) 20:42, 1 December 2023 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: It has been another month without comments. Are you still interested in receiving comments? Regardless, I highly recommend reviewing articles at
WP:FAC so you can get a better understanding of the FAC process and build goodwill amongst the FAC community.
Z1720 (
talk) 05:22, 2 January 2024 (UTC)reply
I am still interested, but if you think it's unlikely it will receive any feedback I am happy to withdraw it—regardless, I'll take your advice and focus my efforts on reviewing GANs and FAs so as to build up exposure to the process and and meet the community.
Penitentes (
talk) 04:36, 3 January 2024 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: The longer a PR stays open, the less likely it is to get reviews. If you are interested in comments, my suggestions above about Wikiprojects and getting a mentor are still applicable. Before nominating my first FA, I reviewed several articles at FAC and this helped me really understand the intricacies of the
FA criteria. I look forward to seeing your name pop up in reviews.
Z1720 (
talk) 05:25, 3 January 2024 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: It has been another month without comments. Have you sought out an
FA mentor? I highly recommend reviewing articles at
WP:FAC now to build goodwill amongst the FAC community so that your article gets reviews. Are there any questions you have about the FAC process?
Z1720 (
talk) 14:20, 15 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Hi @
Z1720 and @
Penitentes, I will try to take this one up if time permits, I cannot commit fully but I will try to post my comments soon.
Matarisvan (
talk) 06:54, 18 February 2024 (UTC)reply
I inquired about FA mentorship and haven't heard back yet, but I'm willing to continue on without a mentor. That said, I will certainly try my hand at reviewing or co-reviewing at WP:FAC before I think about submitting this or any article, it seems like a good way to understand the process regardless of whether it builds goodwill or not!
Penitentes (
talk) 01:19, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
(And as ever, thank you for your persistence and gentle nudges in the right direction, I'm prone to hopping between article projects here but I do genuinely appreciate it.)
Penitentes (
talk) 01:20, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Matarisvan
Change 'recorded California history' to 'California's recorded history'?
Done
Add comma after 1992 in the lead?
Done
Change 'ranks' to 'features' and remove the even. These words make it look like this is some sort of competition.
Done
Add 'of' after 'suppression cost'. Add comma after million.
Done
Remove both the instances of 'also' in the final sentence of the first paragraph of th lead. They are unnecessary and make it seem like we are happy at the damage records being broken.
Done
Change intermingled to interspersed.
Done
Consider moving the image in the background section to the August 20 subsection, because it does not illustrate the background but the contemporary impact. Also consider changing the image orientation to right, as advised by
MOS:IMAGELOC and
MOS:SANDWICH.
Done
Consider changing 'in the state's first such period' to 'in the first such occurrence in the state'?
Done
Change 'four of the six' to 'four of these six'.
Done
Link to runoff.
Done
Change 'high temperatures at' to 'high temperatures equal to'.
Done
Change 'fewer than normal available firefighters' to 'fewer firefighters than are normally available'.
Done
Change 'tasked to the destructive' to 'deployed to combat the destructive'.
Done
Link to Cascade Range.
Done
Is gusting the normal terminology? I would have preferred 'blowing at speeds', which would have been more understandable.
Done
Link to chimney effect.
Done
Link to vortices.
Done
Link to Redding.
Done
Link to Burney.
Done
Link to California Highway Patrol.
Done
Link to Cal Fire.
Done
Link to Oak Run.
Done
Link to Cow Creek.
Done
Link to Mill Creek (Tehama County).
Done
Pete Wilson should be linked on first instance like Wally Herger, not later on.
Done – did the same for the Governor of California wikilink
Link to fire shelter.
Done
Link to Highway 89.
Done
Link to California Office of Emergency Services.
Done
Link to Department of Fish and Game.
Done
Link to Sacramento Bee.
Done – italicized, also
Link to Journal of Forestry in source #3.
Done
Link to Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society in source #19.
Done
Link to Historical Marker Database in source #57.
Done
Link to California Agriculture journal in source #98.
Done
Overall, you have written a detailed, impressive article, and I could find only a few issues which most would have overlooked, and I had to focus to find them. Cheers.
Matarisvan (
talk) 18:09, 22 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thank you very much for the thorough review—I really appreciate it. I'll take some time tomorrow to resolve each of the comments you made. Best,
Penitentes (
talk) 00:25, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Comments all resolved.
Penitentes (
talk) 16:09, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Some more minor pointers: In the sources, link Cal Water, NOAA, National Weather Service, National Interagency Fire Centre and United Press International. I would also suggest removing the citation of the Fountain Wind project website, the newspaper article cited is enough.
Matarisvan (
talk) 10:32, 24 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thanks. I've gone through and linked all of those, as well as some additional publishers in other references. The URL for the NOAA source had been deprecated, so found a new URL and archive link for that. Also removed the wind project website citation, as suggested.
Penitentes (
talk) 17:49, 24 February 2024 (UTC)reply
I believe those were all the issues I could find. The article is well written and I suggest you close this PR and nominate for FAC.
Matarisvan (
talk) 14:59, 27 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thank you very much. I'll close the PR now and nominate the article in due time (I'd like to make some small changes to the map image, and see if there's a fair use image and rationale of the fire itself anywhere out there).
Penitentes (
talk) 17:49, 27 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Hello! I'm seeking peer review for this article on a 1992 California wildfire because I plan to nominate it for FA shortly and would like to check my blind spots, so to speak. I am specifically most interested in any feedback on points 1f ("free of plagiarism or too-close paraphrasing") and 4 (is it too detailed?), but any and all suggestions regarding any Manual of Style guidelines I've missed, poor wording, or wider organization/content issues would be welcome feedback.
@
Penitentes: It has been over a month since this PR has been posted. Are you still interested in receiving comments?
Z1720 (
talk) 23:57, 19 November 2023 (UTC)reply
Hey, sorry for the late response—Thanksgiving kept me busy. I'm absolutely still interested.
Penitentes (
talk) 20:29, 26 November 2023 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: If you are interested in comments, I suggest asking at the Wikiprojects attached to this article. In addition, I suggest that you find an
FA mentor since you are still working towards your first successful FAC; the mentor can comment in this PR, too.
Z1720 (
talk) 21:11, 30 November 2023 (UTC)reply
Thank you. I've posted about it on the Wikiproject Wildfire talk page, I'll see where else I can ask—and contact an FA mentor.
Penitentes (
talk) 20:42, 1 December 2023 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: It has been another month without comments. Are you still interested in receiving comments? Regardless, I highly recommend reviewing articles at
WP:FAC so you can get a better understanding of the FAC process and build goodwill amongst the FAC community.
Z1720 (
talk) 05:22, 2 January 2024 (UTC)reply
I am still interested, but if you think it's unlikely it will receive any feedback I am happy to withdraw it—regardless, I'll take your advice and focus my efforts on reviewing GANs and FAs so as to build up exposure to the process and and meet the community.
Penitentes (
talk) 04:36, 3 January 2024 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: The longer a PR stays open, the less likely it is to get reviews. If you are interested in comments, my suggestions above about Wikiprojects and getting a mentor are still applicable. Before nominating my first FA, I reviewed several articles at FAC and this helped me really understand the intricacies of the
FA criteria. I look forward to seeing your name pop up in reviews.
Z1720 (
talk) 05:25, 3 January 2024 (UTC)reply
@
Penitentes: It has been another month without comments. Have you sought out an
FA mentor? I highly recommend reviewing articles at
WP:FAC now to build goodwill amongst the FAC community so that your article gets reviews. Are there any questions you have about the FAC process?
Z1720 (
talk) 14:20, 15 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Hi @
Z1720 and @
Penitentes, I will try to take this one up if time permits, I cannot commit fully but I will try to post my comments soon.
Matarisvan (
talk) 06:54, 18 February 2024 (UTC)reply
I inquired about FA mentorship and haven't heard back yet, but I'm willing to continue on without a mentor. That said, I will certainly try my hand at reviewing or co-reviewing at WP:FAC before I think about submitting this or any article, it seems like a good way to understand the process regardless of whether it builds goodwill or not!
Penitentes (
talk) 01:19, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
(And as ever, thank you for your persistence and gentle nudges in the right direction, I'm prone to hopping between article projects here but I do genuinely appreciate it.)
Penitentes (
talk) 01:20, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Matarisvan
Change 'recorded California history' to 'California's recorded history'?
Done
Add comma after 1992 in the lead?
Done
Change 'ranks' to 'features' and remove the even. These words make it look like this is some sort of competition.
Done
Add 'of' after 'suppression cost'. Add comma after million.
Done
Remove both the instances of 'also' in the final sentence of the first paragraph of th lead. They are unnecessary and make it seem like we are happy at the damage records being broken.
Done
Change intermingled to interspersed.
Done
Consider moving the image in the background section to the August 20 subsection, because it does not illustrate the background but the contemporary impact. Also consider changing the image orientation to right, as advised by
MOS:IMAGELOC and
MOS:SANDWICH.
Done
Consider changing 'in the state's first such period' to 'in the first such occurrence in the state'?
Done
Change 'four of the six' to 'four of these six'.
Done
Link to runoff.
Done
Change 'high temperatures at' to 'high temperatures equal to'.
Done
Change 'fewer than normal available firefighters' to 'fewer firefighters than are normally available'.
Done
Change 'tasked to the destructive' to 'deployed to combat the destructive'.
Done
Link to Cascade Range.
Done
Is gusting the normal terminology? I would have preferred 'blowing at speeds', which would have been more understandable.
Done
Link to chimney effect.
Done
Link to vortices.
Done
Link to Redding.
Done
Link to Burney.
Done
Link to California Highway Patrol.
Done
Link to Cal Fire.
Done
Link to Oak Run.
Done
Link to Cow Creek.
Done
Link to Mill Creek (Tehama County).
Done
Pete Wilson should be linked on first instance like Wally Herger, not later on.
Done – did the same for the Governor of California wikilink
Link to fire shelter.
Done
Link to Highway 89.
Done
Link to California Office of Emergency Services.
Done
Link to Department of Fish and Game.
Done
Link to Sacramento Bee.
Done – italicized, also
Link to Journal of Forestry in source #3.
Done
Link to Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society in source #19.
Done
Link to Historical Marker Database in source #57.
Done
Link to California Agriculture journal in source #98.
Done
Overall, you have written a detailed, impressive article, and I could find only a few issues which most would have overlooked, and I had to focus to find them. Cheers.
Matarisvan (
talk) 18:09, 22 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thank you very much for the thorough review—I really appreciate it. I'll take some time tomorrow to resolve each of the comments you made. Best,
Penitentes (
talk) 00:25, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Comments all resolved.
Penitentes (
talk) 16:09, 23 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Some more minor pointers: In the sources, link Cal Water, NOAA, National Weather Service, National Interagency Fire Centre and United Press International. I would also suggest removing the citation of the Fountain Wind project website, the newspaper article cited is enough.
Matarisvan (
talk) 10:32, 24 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thanks. I've gone through and linked all of those, as well as some additional publishers in other references. The URL for the NOAA source had been deprecated, so found a new URL and archive link for that. Also removed the wind project website citation, as suggested.
Penitentes (
talk) 17:49, 24 February 2024 (UTC)reply
I believe those were all the issues I could find. The article is well written and I suggest you close this PR and nominate for FAC.
Matarisvan (
talk) 14:59, 27 February 2024 (UTC)reply
Thank you very much. I'll close the PR now and nominate the article in due time (I'd like to make some small changes to the map image, and see if there's a fair use image and rationale of the fire itself anywhere out there).
Penitentes (
talk) 17:49, 27 February 2024 (UTC)reply