The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I sort of promised that it would be TFA-ready by 16 July 2015. Having gone through GA, I now present it here. The article is about the first ever nuclear weapons test.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
02:34, 24 September 2014 (UTC)reply
Support
Nice article. I'm concerned about the indirect verb structures, such as "A construction firm from Lubbock, Texas, was contracted to build the barracks, officers' quarters, ... " why would we say "was contracted to build..." when "built" is quite clear. If they had a contract and didn't built it, okay, then I'd see the point, but it looks like they did. There are lot of places like this. Do you want me to fix them?
auntieruth(talk)18:15, 9 October 2014 (UTC)reply
Will do. Started today. Should finish by Wednesday or Thursday! :) Gotta say I love this article. You've clearly explained a lot of things I didn't understand about the project.
auntieruth(talk)16:18, 4 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Comments: I made an effort to copy edit the article, but found it a little heavy going, so I may have missed a few things, sorry. I have the following comments/suggestions:
AustralianRupert (
talk)
10:30, 18 October 2014 (UTC)reply
there is one citation needed tag in the 100-ton test section that should be dealt with
watch for overlink, the duplicate link checker reports a few possibilities: Pit (nuclear weapon); critical mass; explosive lens; Edward Teller; trinitite; Bombing of Hiroshima.
At the time of the test, what was the relationship of White Sands Proving Ground and Alamogordo Bombing and Gunnery Range? Did the former even exist?
The White Sands Proving Ground was established by the Secretary of War on 20 February 1945. Construction of a site to test V-2 missiles there commenced on 25 June, and the first rocket launches were in July.
Suggest that "part" replace "result" in the first sentence of the lede.
There's a lot of detail in the lede that I'd recommend be saved for the main body. Like structures present and # of people present, the non-use of Jumbo, and the list of notable observers.
The lead is not big for an article of this size. Since there is a whole section on Jumbo, it should be mentioned in the lead.
I second auntieruth55's comments about passive voice.
Convert the original and final weights of Jumbo as well as the weights of TNT equivalents. Not really sure that the gigajoule conversions provided are actually helpful for ordinary readers.
What was a Y-1561 device? The formal nomenclature for the Fat Man-style bomb assembly?
Yes. The early Y-1222 model Fat Man was used for the initial ballistic testing. This was superseded by the Y-1291 design in December 1944. This redesign work was substantial, and only the Y-1222 tail design was retained. Later versions included the Y-1560, which had 72 detonators; the Y-1561, which had 32; and the Y-1562, which had 132. There was also the Y-1563 and Y-1564, which were practice bombs with no detonators at all.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
19:35, 3 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Double-check that you're using the adjectival format for some of your conversions. I fixed one, but there might well be others.
The section about the test detonation conducted by Creutz needs to be clarified as it's unclear why it indicated failure for the actual test if it was successful. It couldn't to have been a scale issue if it used full-sized cores.
This caption The explosives of the Gadget are raised up to the top of the tower for the final assembly appears to contradict your statement that the Gadget was assembled on the ground and then hoisted up into the tower where it was then armed.
I'll run through the prose and check the images later
File:Trinity Test - Oppenheimer and Groves at Ground Zero 001.jpg doesn't have author info, but I think the assumption that only a DOE employee could have taken it is a reasonable one.
something that is missing here, IMO, is a sense of how much plutonium and U-235 was required, in contrast to the "minute" amounts produced in the cyclotrons
Maps of the ground dose rate pattern from the device's fallout at +1 hour, and +12 hours. doesn't appear to have proper sentence construction. Reads more like a caption/sentence fragment. Needs rewording.
Because of some additional images and text, I feel I must jump in to make some additional comments:
blast re-enforcing effect I have never seen this construction before. Having read the section at the link, I assume it is meant to be blast reinforcing effect?
The Citation Check Tool shows no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd)
"Practical development began in earnest in June 1942, when these efforts were transferred to the authority of the U.S. Army and became the Manhattan Project." Practical development by whom? I assume the Allies but this might need to be more clear (admittedly this is fairly closely implied as Britain and the United States from the previous paragraph and obviously mentioned US Army, but think being explicit to make it clear that it wasn't just the US that make efforts in this area wouldn't be a bad thing).
This doesn't quite work for my ear; however, my technical knowledge is limited to high school science and is obviously woefully limited so it might be right: "...reducing the number of generations of chain reactions...". Would this work better: "...reducing the number of chain reactions generated..."?
When we have a chain reaction, a nucleus fissions and emits two neutrons. That's the first generation. Those neutrons join nuclei and cause them to fission. That's the second generation. But only the last couple of generations have any real impact on the explosion.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
20:00, 10 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"...were willing to give it a try..." seems a little informal, perhaps: "...were willing to attempt its manufacture..." or something similar.
Is there a typo here: "Bethe worked through the night to assess the results, and was reported...", specifically should it be: "...Bethe worked through the night to assess the results, and reported..."
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I sort of promised that it would be TFA-ready by 16 July 2015. Having gone through GA, I now present it here. The article is about the first ever nuclear weapons test.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
02:34, 24 September 2014 (UTC)reply
Support
Nice article. I'm concerned about the indirect verb structures, such as "A construction firm from Lubbock, Texas, was contracted to build the barracks, officers' quarters, ... " why would we say "was contracted to build..." when "built" is quite clear. If they had a contract and didn't built it, okay, then I'd see the point, but it looks like they did. There are lot of places like this. Do you want me to fix them?
auntieruth(talk)18:15, 9 October 2014 (UTC)reply
Will do. Started today. Should finish by Wednesday or Thursday! :) Gotta say I love this article. You've clearly explained a lot of things I didn't understand about the project.
auntieruth(talk)16:18, 4 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Comments: I made an effort to copy edit the article, but found it a little heavy going, so I may have missed a few things, sorry. I have the following comments/suggestions:
AustralianRupert (
talk)
10:30, 18 October 2014 (UTC)reply
there is one citation needed tag in the 100-ton test section that should be dealt with
watch for overlink, the duplicate link checker reports a few possibilities: Pit (nuclear weapon); critical mass; explosive lens; Edward Teller; trinitite; Bombing of Hiroshima.
At the time of the test, what was the relationship of White Sands Proving Ground and Alamogordo Bombing and Gunnery Range? Did the former even exist?
The White Sands Proving Ground was established by the Secretary of War on 20 February 1945. Construction of a site to test V-2 missiles there commenced on 25 June, and the first rocket launches were in July.
Suggest that "part" replace "result" in the first sentence of the lede.
There's a lot of detail in the lede that I'd recommend be saved for the main body. Like structures present and # of people present, the non-use of Jumbo, and the list of notable observers.
The lead is not big for an article of this size. Since there is a whole section on Jumbo, it should be mentioned in the lead.
I second auntieruth55's comments about passive voice.
Convert the original and final weights of Jumbo as well as the weights of TNT equivalents. Not really sure that the gigajoule conversions provided are actually helpful for ordinary readers.
What was a Y-1561 device? The formal nomenclature for the Fat Man-style bomb assembly?
Yes. The early Y-1222 model Fat Man was used for the initial ballistic testing. This was superseded by the Y-1291 design in December 1944. This redesign work was substantial, and only the Y-1222 tail design was retained. Later versions included the Y-1560, which had 72 detonators; the Y-1561, which had 32; and the Y-1562, which had 132. There was also the Y-1563 and Y-1564, which were practice bombs with no detonators at all.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
19:35, 3 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Double-check that you're using the adjectival format for some of your conversions. I fixed one, but there might well be others.
The section about the test detonation conducted by Creutz needs to be clarified as it's unclear why it indicated failure for the actual test if it was successful. It couldn't to have been a scale issue if it used full-sized cores.
This caption The explosives of the Gadget are raised up to the top of the tower for the final assembly appears to contradict your statement that the Gadget was assembled on the ground and then hoisted up into the tower where it was then armed.
I'll run through the prose and check the images later
File:Trinity Test - Oppenheimer and Groves at Ground Zero 001.jpg doesn't have author info, but I think the assumption that only a DOE employee could have taken it is a reasonable one.
something that is missing here, IMO, is a sense of how much plutonium and U-235 was required, in contrast to the "minute" amounts produced in the cyclotrons
Maps of the ground dose rate pattern from the device's fallout at +1 hour, and +12 hours. doesn't appear to have proper sentence construction. Reads more like a caption/sentence fragment. Needs rewording.
Because of some additional images and text, I feel I must jump in to make some additional comments:
blast re-enforcing effect I have never seen this construction before. Having read the section at the link, I assume it is meant to be blast reinforcing effect?
The Citation Check Tool shows no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd)
"Practical development began in earnest in June 1942, when these efforts were transferred to the authority of the U.S. Army and became the Manhattan Project." Practical development by whom? I assume the Allies but this might need to be more clear (admittedly this is fairly closely implied as Britain and the United States from the previous paragraph and obviously mentioned US Army, but think being explicit to make it clear that it wasn't just the US that make efforts in this area wouldn't be a bad thing).
This doesn't quite work for my ear; however, my technical knowledge is limited to high school science and is obviously woefully limited so it might be right: "...reducing the number of generations of chain reactions...". Would this work better: "...reducing the number of chain reactions generated..."?
When we have a chain reaction, a nucleus fissions and emits two neutrons. That's the first generation. Those neutrons join nuclei and cause them to fission. That's the second generation. But only the last couple of generations have any real impact on the explosion.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
20:00, 10 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"...were willing to give it a try..." seems a little informal, perhaps: "...were willing to attempt its manufacture..." or something similar.
Is there a typo here: "Bethe worked through the night to assess the results, and was reported...", specifically should it be: "...Bethe worked through the night to assess the results, and reported..."
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.