The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Another German light cruiser, I'd like to have this one through FAC in time for the centenary of her sinking in July 2015. Thanks in advance to all who take the time to review the article.
Parsecboy (
talk)
19:42, 6 February 2015 (UTC)reply
this seems inconsistent: "She was commissioned into the High Seas Fleet for sea trials on 6 April 1907" (in the body - Service history section) v."Commissioned: 4 June 1906" (in the infobox)
Fixed.
there are a couple of overlinked terms: "HMS Hyacinth (1898)", and "Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck"
Both fixed now.
in the lead: "joined Lieutenant Colonel Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck's guerrilla campaign". Perhaps add "ashore" after "campaign"...
How about "...campaign in East Africa"? That would also be an easy way to pipe the East Africa Campaign link per below.
Images lack alt text so you might consider adding it (not an ACR req, suggestion only).
No duplicate links (no action req'd).
Images all appear to be PD and have the req'd info (no action req'd).
Captions look fine (no action req'd).
The Citation Check Tool shows a couple of minor issues with reference consolidation:
Bennett, p. 134 Multiple references contain the same content
B134 Multiple references are using the same name
Both fixed, good catch on these.
MOS issue: The commons box should be moved into the last section of the article per
WP:LAYOUT.
Fixed.
Repetitive prose here: " Looff decided to abandon the normal peacetime training schedule and returned to Dar es Salaam on 24 July to replenish his coal and other stores. Looff also made efforts to organize..." Specifically starting two sentences the same way one after the other (i.e. "Looff"). Perhaps reword one?
Anotherclown (
talk)
10:13, 27 February 2015 (UTC)reply
I've cleaned up the infobox a bit, but you need to add the range and provide links for ihp, scuttled, knots, nautical miles, scrapped and torpedo tubes there.
Should all be fixed.
In the text you need to add links for scuttled, ship class, knot, amidships, Cape Station.
All fixed.
What's the proper term for Marine-type boiler?
Corrected.
Add horsepower figure to main body (with link).
Done.
What damage, if any, did she suffer in the collision with Dresden.
Added.
Watch your rounding on the torpedo diameter conversions and for the guns of the monitors.
Fixed - good catch.
ISSN needed for the Patience magazine article.
Need to do a bit of digging on this one - several publications in worldcat but none match the publisher info I have.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Another German light cruiser, I'd like to have this one through FAC in time for the centenary of her sinking in July 2015. Thanks in advance to all who take the time to review the article.
Parsecboy (
talk)
19:42, 6 February 2015 (UTC)reply
this seems inconsistent: "She was commissioned into the High Seas Fleet for sea trials on 6 April 1907" (in the body - Service history section) v."Commissioned: 4 June 1906" (in the infobox)
Fixed.
there are a couple of overlinked terms: "HMS Hyacinth (1898)", and "Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck"
Both fixed now.
in the lead: "joined Lieutenant Colonel Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck's guerrilla campaign". Perhaps add "ashore" after "campaign"...
How about "...campaign in East Africa"? That would also be an easy way to pipe the East Africa Campaign link per below.
Images lack alt text so you might consider adding it (not an ACR req, suggestion only).
No duplicate links (no action req'd).
Images all appear to be PD and have the req'd info (no action req'd).
Captions look fine (no action req'd).
The Citation Check Tool shows a couple of minor issues with reference consolidation:
Bennett, p. 134 Multiple references contain the same content
B134 Multiple references are using the same name
Both fixed, good catch on these.
MOS issue: The commons box should be moved into the last section of the article per
WP:LAYOUT.
Fixed.
Repetitive prose here: " Looff decided to abandon the normal peacetime training schedule and returned to Dar es Salaam on 24 July to replenish his coal and other stores. Looff also made efforts to organize..." Specifically starting two sentences the same way one after the other (i.e. "Looff"). Perhaps reword one?
Anotherclown (
talk)
10:13, 27 February 2015 (UTC)reply
I've cleaned up the infobox a bit, but you need to add the range and provide links for ihp, scuttled, knots, nautical miles, scrapped and torpedo tubes there.
Should all be fixed.
In the text you need to add links for scuttled, ship class, knot, amidships, Cape Station.
All fixed.
What's the proper term for Marine-type boiler?
Corrected.
Add horsepower figure to main body (with link).
Done.
What damage, if any, did she suffer in the collision with Dresden.
Added.
Watch your rounding on the torpedo diameter conversions and for the guns of the monitors.
Fixed - good catch.
ISSN needed for the Patience magazine article.
Need to do a bit of digging on this one - several publications in worldcat but none match the publisher info I have.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.