The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Pobeda was one of five Russian pre-dreadnought battleships captured during the Russo-Japanese War of 1904–05. She participated in all of the major naval battles of the war and was eventually sunk by Japanese artillery during the Siege of Port Arthur. After the war, she was refloated by the Japanese and incorporated into their navy after three years of repair. She was not very active in Japanese service, serving mostly in training roles, but her most significant service was during the Battle of Tsingtao during World War I and the Japanese besieged the German-held Chinese port. She was disarmed during the early 1920s in accordance with the Washington Naval Treaty and may have been broken up around the same time, although some sources suggest that she was not scrapped until the end of World War II. This article is bound for FAC and I trust that reviewers will point out any infelicities in the text or failures to adequately explain jargon.--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk)
05:17, 8 June 2014 (UTC)reply
Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (
push to talk)
"Pobeda was feet 5 inches (132.4 m) long overall, had a beam of feet 6 inches (21.79 m) and a draft of feet 3 inches (8.0 m).": This expands to: "Pobeda was feet 5 inches (132.4 m) long overall, Pobeda had a beam of feet 6 inches (21.79 m) and Pobeda a draft of feet 3 inches (8.0 m)." - Dank (
push to talk)
17:22, 8 June 2014 (UTC)reply
If "Pobeda was feet 5 inches (132.4 m) long overall, with a beam of feet 6 inches (21.79 m) and a draft of feet 3 inches (8.0 m)." works for you, go with that. - Dank (
push to talk)
19:00, 25 June 2014 (UTC)reply
"the flags had to be hung from the bridge railings without because": Does "without" mean "outside" here?
Just a reminder, my comments above have not yet been addressed. As of tomorrow I will be offline for about three weeks. If these issues are resolved while I'm away, I'm more than happy for the article to be promoted. Overall, I believe it meets the A-class criteria, there are just a couple of minor inconsistencies to deal with. Good work. Regards,
AustralianRupert (
talk)
21:33, 25 July 2014 (UTC)reply
Completed my usual copyedit so generally happy with prose but I wonder if the average punter knows what a second-class battleship is, because frankly I don't, and I couldn't see a direct link...
Structure and level of detail seem fine.
Reference formatting/reliability look okay, but Chesneau doesn't seem to be cited anywhere.
The Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd)
The Earwig Tool reveal no issues with copyright violation or close paraphrasing
[4] (no action req'd)
"On the night of 8/9 February 1904, the IJN...", abbreviation "IJN" needs to be introduced.
This sentence has a few issues for me: "She was refloated by Japanese engineers on 17 October 1905, and was classified as a 1st-class battleship and renamed as Suwo on 25 October,[18] after the eponymous ancient province.[19]" Firstly as it is the first sentence in a new section I think it probably best to introduce the subject (i.e. Pobeda), it might be unclear to some why it was refloated (i.e. to be salvaged / pressed into service) whilst it seems to run on a bit. Consider splitting a rewording a little. Try something like: "Pobeda was refloated by Japanese engineers on 17 October 1905 and pressed into service. Classified as a 1st-class battleship, she was renamed as Suwo on 25 October, after the eponymous ancient province."
I've reworded the sentence, but the lede already tells the reader that she was placed into service by the IJN so I don't really think that it's necessary to do so again. I think that I've resolved everything else that y'all pointed out. Thanks for looking this over.--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk)
17:40, 20 July 2014 (UTC)reply
"Although she was struck by eleven" - this sounds like you're still talking about Peresvet here.
Good catch.
If Shinzo's book is considered authoritative, why is it not considered the default? Which is to say, why is the account of Jentschura et. al. privileged?
Parsecboy (
talk)
20:52, 25 July 2014 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Pobeda was one of five Russian pre-dreadnought battleships captured during the Russo-Japanese War of 1904–05. She participated in all of the major naval battles of the war and was eventually sunk by Japanese artillery during the Siege of Port Arthur. After the war, she was refloated by the Japanese and incorporated into their navy after three years of repair. She was not very active in Japanese service, serving mostly in training roles, but her most significant service was during the Battle of Tsingtao during World War I and the Japanese besieged the German-held Chinese port. She was disarmed during the early 1920s in accordance with the Washington Naval Treaty and may have been broken up around the same time, although some sources suggest that she was not scrapped until the end of World War II. This article is bound for FAC and I trust that reviewers will point out any infelicities in the text or failures to adequately explain jargon.--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk)
05:17, 8 June 2014 (UTC)reply
Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (
push to talk)
"Pobeda was feet 5 inches (132.4 m) long overall, had a beam of feet 6 inches (21.79 m) and a draft of feet 3 inches (8.0 m).": This expands to: "Pobeda was feet 5 inches (132.4 m) long overall, Pobeda had a beam of feet 6 inches (21.79 m) and Pobeda a draft of feet 3 inches (8.0 m)." - Dank (
push to talk)
17:22, 8 June 2014 (UTC)reply
If "Pobeda was feet 5 inches (132.4 m) long overall, with a beam of feet 6 inches (21.79 m) and a draft of feet 3 inches (8.0 m)." works for you, go with that. - Dank (
push to talk)
19:00, 25 June 2014 (UTC)reply
"the flags had to be hung from the bridge railings without because": Does "without" mean "outside" here?
Just a reminder, my comments above have not yet been addressed. As of tomorrow I will be offline for about three weeks. If these issues are resolved while I'm away, I'm more than happy for the article to be promoted. Overall, I believe it meets the A-class criteria, there are just a couple of minor inconsistencies to deal with. Good work. Regards,
AustralianRupert (
talk)
21:33, 25 July 2014 (UTC)reply
Completed my usual copyedit so generally happy with prose but I wonder if the average punter knows what a second-class battleship is, because frankly I don't, and I couldn't see a direct link...
Structure and level of detail seem fine.
Reference formatting/reliability look okay, but Chesneau doesn't seem to be cited anywhere.
The Citation Check Tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd)
The Earwig Tool reveal no issues with copyright violation or close paraphrasing
[4] (no action req'd)
"On the night of 8/9 February 1904, the IJN...", abbreviation "IJN" needs to be introduced.
This sentence has a few issues for me: "She was refloated by Japanese engineers on 17 October 1905, and was classified as a 1st-class battleship and renamed as Suwo on 25 October,[18] after the eponymous ancient province.[19]" Firstly as it is the first sentence in a new section I think it probably best to introduce the subject (i.e. Pobeda), it might be unclear to some why it was refloated (i.e. to be salvaged / pressed into service) whilst it seems to run on a bit. Consider splitting a rewording a little. Try something like: "Pobeda was refloated by Japanese engineers on 17 October 1905 and pressed into service. Classified as a 1st-class battleship, she was renamed as Suwo on 25 October, after the eponymous ancient province."
I've reworded the sentence, but the lede already tells the reader that she was placed into service by the IJN so I don't really think that it's necessary to do so again. I think that I've resolved everything else that y'all pointed out. Thanks for looking this over.--
Sturmvogel 66 (
talk)
17:40, 20 July 2014 (UTC)reply
"Although she was struck by eleven" - this sounds like you're still talking about Peresvet here.
Good catch.
If Shinzo's book is considered authoritative, why is it not considered the default? Which is to say, why is the account of Jentschura et. al. privileged?
Parsecboy (
talk)
20:52, 25 July 2014 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.