The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The second most senior general in Europe in World War II remained poorly known (and his name frequently mispronounced - it's Dev-ers not Deev-ers) for decades. Suddenly, he has two biographies. And now a good Wikipedia article.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
21:41, 28 November 2015 (UTC)reply
"File:Jacob L. Devers portrait.jpg": licence looks fine to me, but I suggest adding author, publisher and date information to the source field on the description page.
It's the Belgian Army Museum. My understanding is that the law is the same as in France. It is okay if the building is incidental to the photograph.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
03:40, 29 November 2015 (UTC)reply
Per
Freedom of Panorama": "Some countries, such as France and Belgium, do not have global permission for making images of an artistic creation, like a piece of architecture or sculpture, in public spaces and allow images of copyrighted works only under "incidental inclusion" clauses. In France the authorisation of the author, but not of the owner, is thus required if the piece is not just used secondarily or as a background on the image but intentionally or as its central and essential motif."
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
11:05, 1 December 2015 (UTC)reply
"File:Leese, Devers and McCreery.jpg": licence looks fine to me, but the image quality might be enhanced by cropping out the large black spot in the corner;
"File:Eaker, Cannon, Devers and Larkin.jpg": licence looks fine, but as per the first image above, I suggest adding author, publisher and date information to the source field on the description page;
From now on, I'm doing the same things at A-class that I've been doing at Peer Review, and not supporting or opposing. I've copyedited down to Between the wars and skimmed the rest, and I don't think prose issues will be a problem at WP:FAC, if you want to take it there after you're done here. At FAC, I'll be happy to support on prose and copyedit the rest, although I may wait until you get one or two supports first.
"Despite some successes, the maneuvers..." suggest a minor reword here to "Despite some successes, the exercises" as the wording here is a bit repetitive (minor nitpick, suggestion only)
"that hampered the tank-infantry-artillery coordination...", consider instead something like "that hampered the coordination of tanks, infantry, and artillery.
"In particular, post-maneuver reports showed a vulnerability of tanks to antitank fire..." → "In particular, post-maneuver reports showed the vulnerability of tanks to antitank fire."
"Lyman Lemnitzer later recalled that Fifth Army staff feared that Devers would relieve every time the two met..." is there a missing word after "relieve"?
CommentsSupport - it's a good article, but I'm still slightly short of a support, some thoughts below:
"was a general in the United States Army who, during World War II, commanded the 6th Army Group in the European Theater. " - would "was a general in the United States Army who commanded the 6th Army Group in the European Theater during World War II." flow more naturally?
"His major task was the construction of new playing fields when there did not appear to be any available land." - "playing fields, despite there not appearing to be any available land"? (otherwise the "when" isn't quite right)
"Devers hired a civilian secretary, Dorothy Benn, a widow whose husband, an Army Air Forces pilot, had been list as missing in action in New Guinea in 1943 and was presumed dead until his body was found in 1957." - the second half lives oddly here, as you don't find out why it is at all relevant until several sections later. Could the bit about being a widow etc. go down to the last paragraph of "Retirement and post-military career"?
Worth noting that when I was reading it, I did a quick "search this page" to find out why we were going into such detail about Benn's missing husband... I'd got no idea as a casual reader what the significance was. The next time she gets mentioned it was to be promoted to being his assistant, and it wasn't until the third mention that it explains they eventually get married.
Hchc2009 (
talk)
10:26, 20 December 2015 (UTC)reply
I figured that would be the case, but the point is that they knew each other for many years. It also provides another example of Devers generosity towards veterans and their families.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
19:20, 20 December 2015 (UTC)reply
"He hired an African-American couple, Curtis and Beatrix Murphy, as handyman and cook." - are their racial origins relevant to the article? We don't mention any one else's race or ethnic origins in the article that I can see.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The second most senior general in Europe in World War II remained poorly known (and his name frequently mispronounced - it's Dev-ers not Deev-ers) for decades. Suddenly, he has two biographies. And now a good Wikipedia article.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
21:41, 28 November 2015 (UTC)reply
"File:Jacob L. Devers portrait.jpg": licence looks fine to me, but I suggest adding author, publisher and date information to the source field on the description page.
It's the Belgian Army Museum. My understanding is that the law is the same as in France. It is okay if the building is incidental to the photograph.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
03:40, 29 November 2015 (UTC)reply
Per
Freedom of Panorama": "Some countries, such as France and Belgium, do not have global permission for making images of an artistic creation, like a piece of architecture or sculpture, in public spaces and allow images of copyrighted works only under "incidental inclusion" clauses. In France the authorisation of the author, but not of the owner, is thus required if the piece is not just used secondarily or as a background on the image but intentionally or as its central and essential motif."
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
11:05, 1 December 2015 (UTC)reply
"File:Leese, Devers and McCreery.jpg": licence looks fine to me, but the image quality might be enhanced by cropping out the large black spot in the corner;
"File:Eaker, Cannon, Devers and Larkin.jpg": licence looks fine, but as per the first image above, I suggest adding author, publisher and date information to the source field on the description page;
From now on, I'm doing the same things at A-class that I've been doing at Peer Review, and not supporting or opposing. I've copyedited down to Between the wars and skimmed the rest, and I don't think prose issues will be a problem at WP:FAC, if you want to take it there after you're done here. At FAC, I'll be happy to support on prose and copyedit the rest, although I may wait until you get one or two supports first.
"Despite some successes, the maneuvers..." suggest a minor reword here to "Despite some successes, the exercises" as the wording here is a bit repetitive (minor nitpick, suggestion only)
"that hampered the tank-infantry-artillery coordination...", consider instead something like "that hampered the coordination of tanks, infantry, and artillery.
"In particular, post-maneuver reports showed a vulnerability of tanks to antitank fire..." → "In particular, post-maneuver reports showed the vulnerability of tanks to antitank fire."
"Lyman Lemnitzer later recalled that Fifth Army staff feared that Devers would relieve every time the two met..." is there a missing word after "relieve"?
CommentsSupport - it's a good article, but I'm still slightly short of a support, some thoughts below:
"was a general in the United States Army who, during World War II, commanded the 6th Army Group in the European Theater. " - would "was a general in the United States Army who commanded the 6th Army Group in the European Theater during World War II." flow more naturally?
"His major task was the construction of new playing fields when there did not appear to be any available land." - "playing fields, despite there not appearing to be any available land"? (otherwise the "when" isn't quite right)
"Devers hired a civilian secretary, Dorothy Benn, a widow whose husband, an Army Air Forces pilot, had been list as missing in action in New Guinea in 1943 and was presumed dead until his body was found in 1957." - the second half lives oddly here, as you don't find out why it is at all relevant until several sections later. Could the bit about being a widow etc. go down to the last paragraph of "Retirement and post-military career"?
Worth noting that when I was reading it, I did a quick "search this page" to find out why we were going into such detail about Benn's missing husband... I'd got no idea as a casual reader what the significance was. The next time she gets mentioned it was to be promoted to being his assistant, and it wasn't until the third mention that it explains they eventually get married.
Hchc2009 (
talk)
10:26, 20 December 2015 (UTC)reply
I figured that would be the case, but the point is that they knew each other for many years. It also provides another example of Devers generosity towards veterans and their families.
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
19:20, 20 December 2015 (UTC)reply
"He hired an African-American couple, Curtis and Beatrix Murphy, as handyman and cook." - are their racial origins relevant to the article? We don't mention any one else's race or ethnic origins in the article that I can see.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.