The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I'm back after a bit of a break with yet another war memorial by Edwin Lutyens. This one is Lutyens' largest and arguably most impressive in the UK, and yet it could have could have been even more impressive had it not been for poor management in the early stages of the project. Having stood next to it, it's an awe-inspiring and deeply moving piece of architecture so I hope this article does it justice.
"... as a result of which it was granted city status in 1919." This sentence is from the lede but strikes me as being a little tangential for this section.
Background: "...open land to the south-east of Leicester city centre..."; shouldn't Leicester be linked here?
Background: "...the first batch of Howitzer shells"; that should be a lower case h on Howitzer.
Commissioning: "The war ended with an armistice on 11 November 1918."; I find the presence of this sentence a little jarring and doesn't seem to flow into the next one. Suggest reworking somehow.
Commissioning: "The new proposal was approved by the meeting."; should this be approved at the public meeting?
Design: "...four pairs of stone piers which support gates..."; to avoid repetition of "which", I suggest rephrasing to "four pairs of stone piers supporting gates..."
Thanks,
Peacemaker. I've made the first clarification. For the second, the mention is in a paragraph that starts "The memorial, in Portland stone..." Is that not clear enough? I've also tried to illustrate the different design elements as much as possible.
HJ Mitchell |
Penny for your thoughts?13:34, 9 January 2019 (UTC)reply
The sources all appear to be of high quality and reliable for what they are citing. I couldn't find anything else via Google Books or Google Scholar that hadn't already been used. No formatting issues. Good to go.
Peacemaker67 (
click to talk to me)
07:07, 10 January 2019 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I'm back after a bit of a break with yet another war memorial by Edwin Lutyens. This one is Lutyens' largest and arguably most impressive in the UK, and yet it could have could have been even more impressive had it not been for poor management in the early stages of the project. Having stood next to it, it's an awe-inspiring and deeply moving piece of architecture so I hope this article does it justice.
"... as a result of which it was granted city status in 1919." This sentence is from the lede but strikes me as being a little tangential for this section.
Background: "...open land to the south-east of Leicester city centre..."; shouldn't Leicester be linked here?
Background: "...the first batch of Howitzer shells"; that should be a lower case h on Howitzer.
Commissioning: "The war ended with an armistice on 11 November 1918."; I find the presence of this sentence a little jarring and doesn't seem to flow into the next one. Suggest reworking somehow.
Commissioning: "The new proposal was approved by the meeting."; should this be approved at the public meeting?
Design: "...four pairs of stone piers which support gates..."; to avoid repetition of "which", I suggest rephrasing to "four pairs of stone piers supporting gates..."
Thanks,
Peacemaker. I've made the first clarification. For the second, the mention is in a paragraph that starts "The memorial, in Portland stone..." Is that not clear enough? I've also tried to illustrate the different design elements as much as possible.
HJ Mitchell |
Penny for your thoughts?13:34, 9 January 2019 (UTC)reply
The sources all appear to be of high quality and reliable for what they are citing. I couldn't find anything else via Google Books or Google Scholar that hadn't already been used. No formatting issues. Good to go.
Peacemaker67 (
click to talk to me)
07:07, 10 January 2019 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.