I am adding this article for review. Scott. Skottieboyy2k ( talk) 21:33, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
Well you haven't said what you goal with this article is, but if you were even looking for B-Class, it will need sources other that military press releases etc, and more prose instead of just a CV type listing. Other things
YellowMonkey ( vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 01:32, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
Good start so far, I have a few comments:
Anyway, that is it. Good luck with improving this article. Cheers. — AustralianRupert ( talk) 05:47, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
This is looking a lot better than when I first saw it and if you continue as you are, it should be quite good by the end of it. Apart from what the guys have said above, you want to avoid too many lists. The details in the Education section should turned into prose, and integrated at appropriate spots into his story, chronologically - likewise Assignments and Dates of Ranks. That's all for now, may have some more later. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 01:11, 20 March 2010 (UTC)
I am adding this article for review. Scott. Skottieboyy2k ( talk) 21:33, 17 March 2010 (UTC)
Well you haven't said what you goal with this article is, but if you were even looking for B-Class, it will need sources other that military press releases etc, and more prose instead of just a CV type listing. Other things
YellowMonkey ( vote in the Southern Stars and White Ferns supermodel photo poll) 01:32, 18 March 2010 (UTC)
Good start so far, I have a few comments:
Anyway, that is it. Good luck with improving this article. Cheers. — AustralianRupert ( talk) 05:47, 19 March 2010 (UTC)
This is looking a lot better than when I first saw it and if you continue as you are, it should be quite good by the end of it. Apart from what the guys have said above, you want to avoid too many lists. The details in the Education section should turned into prose, and integrated at appropriate spots into his story, chronologically - likewise Assignments and Dates of Ranks. That's all for now, may have some more later. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 01:11, 20 March 2010 (UTC)