I suggest getting more references - particularly look at unreferenced sections like "Trinity University Press". My general rule of thumb for whether something should be included, unless it's specifically mentioned in the University Style Guide as something to mention always, is whether it's gotten an external citation for reference (for instance, student clubs only get mentioned if they have an external citation). Of course, don't over-reference either - I probably tend to do this...
Allens (
talk)
16:24, 19 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this interesting article - While it is clear that a lot of work has been put into it, some more is needed to improve it further. I agree with the comments above, here are some more suggestions for improvement.
The lead does not follow
WP:LEAD which says that it should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article
Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself - the "awarded 649 degrees in 2007-2008" is one example of this, check for others.
The lead needs to be expanded to be a summary of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, even if it is just a sentence or a phrase, but alumni are not even mentioned in the lead (as one example)
Biggest problem with the article I see is a lack of references. Article needs more references, for example the whole first paragraph of History has no refs, and almosy none of the alumni have any refs at all
My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See
WP:CITE and
WP:V
Make sure the article uses sources which are reliable (see
WP:RS) and that it is uses sources independent of the university as much as possible.
Photo of the mural is almost certainly of copyrighted art work and probably does not meet
WP:NFCC criteria for use here
Sentences like this need a date / year to make sure they are put into context Trinity's 2,693 students come from 48 states plus 58 countries. Students of color account for 23 percent of undergraduate and graduate students. See
WP:PCR
Avoid vague time expressions like "recent/ly" as these can quickly become dated. In YEAR or As of YEAR work
Avoid bullet point lists and short (one or two sentence) paragraphs as they impede the narrative flow of the article.
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see
Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at
Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours,
Ruhrfisch><>°°15:49, 4 February 2012 (UTC)reply
I suggest getting more references - particularly look at unreferenced sections like "Trinity University Press". My general rule of thumb for whether something should be included, unless it's specifically mentioned in the University Style Guide as something to mention always, is whether it's gotten an external citation for reference (for instance, student clubs only get mentioned if they have an external citation). Of course, don't over-reference either - I probably tend to do this...
Allens (
talk)
16:24, 19 January 2012 (UTC)reply
Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this interesting article - While it is clear that a lot of work has been put into it, some more is needed to improve it further. I agree with the comments above, here are some more suggestions for improvement.
The lead does not follow
WP:LEAD which says that it should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article
Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself - the "awarded 649 degrees in 2007-2008" is one example of this, check for others.
The lead needs to be expanded to be a summary of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, even if it is just a sentence or a phrase, but alumni are not even mentioned in the lead (as one example)
Biggest problem with the article I see is a lack of references. Article needs more references, for example the whole first paragraph of History has no refs, and almosy none of the alumni have any refs at all
My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See
WP:CITE and
WP:V
Make sure the article uses sources which are reliable (see
WP:RS) and that it is uses sources independent of the university as much as possible.
Photo of the mural is almost certainly of copyrighted art work and probably does not meet
WP:NFCC criteria for use here
Sentences like this need a date / year to make sure they are put into context Trinity's 2,693 students come from 48 states plus 58 countries. Students of color account for 23 percent of undergraduate and graduate students. See
WP:PCR
Avoid vague time expressions like "recent/ly" as these can quickly become dated. In YEAR or As of YEAR work
Avoid bullet point lists and short (one or two sentence) paragraphs as they impede the narrative flow of the article.
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see
Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at
Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours,
Ruhrfisch><>°°15:49, 4 February 2012 (UTC)reply