This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm looking to take this to a Featured article, and looking to get feedback on prose and the like. (Content is less an issue for this). I know I can segment the development section a bit more but any other suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks, MASEM ( t) 06:20, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I have not heard of this game before and do not write video / computer game articles. The content seems fine, but I agree the prose could use somework, and there are a few other MOS issues. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:12, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
I made some copyedits to the first two sections to try and make the prose a bit smoother - please revert if I introduced errors or made things worse. Sorry I do not have time for more, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 17:45, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
Comments The plot, gameplay and development sections seem long, the development section in particular. Though they are sourced, consider that the reader may become bored. Trimming is definitely needed in the development section. -- Teancum ( talk) 23:45, 29 October 2009 (UTC)
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm looking to take this to a Featured article, and looking to get feedback on prose and the like. (Content is less an issue for this). I know I can segment the development section a bit more but any other suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks, MASEM ( t) 06:20, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I have not heard of this game before and do not write video / computer game articles. The content seems fine, but I agree the prose could use somework, and there are a few other MOS issues. Here are some suggestions for improvement.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:12, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
I made some copyedits to the first two sections to try and make the prose a bit smoother - please revert if I introduced errors or made things worse. Sorry I do not have time for more, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 17:45, 18 October 2009 (UTC)
Comments The plot, gameplay and development sections seem long, the development section in particular. Though they are sourced, consider that the reader may become bored. Trimming is definitely needed in the development section. -- Teancum ( talk) 23:45, 29 October 2009 (UTC)