Comments –
- I see several instances of "with ... -ing"
sentence structures in the lead alone. Would it be possible to clean up a few of these? This is going to be a heavily read article if it ever appears at TFL, and we want to put our best foot forward. For example, in Production, you have "with the 2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike possibly delaying the process." That could be "with the process possibly delayed by the 2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike", which also has the benefit of removing some passive voice from the prose. Consider making this change, and a few more in the lead.
- I haven't reviewed in detail here, but the example from Production is still in the article.
Giants2008 (
Talk) 01:21, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
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- I went through and took out about 1/3-1/2 of the instance of this sentence structure, but apparently not that one. Let me know if the rest of the article reads appropriately or if you think it needs to be pared further. The message I got from your original comment was that it was a monotonous/overused structure, not that it needed to be eliminated entirely, so a reduction is what I was aiming at.
Jclemens (
talk) 09:32, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
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- Episode 10 summary: Typo in "and helps her escape King' Landing" could use a fix.
- This was changed, but the real issue remains: King's needs an s at the end, unless that's how it supposed to look.
Giants2008 (
Talk) 01:21, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
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Casting: A link to Tom McCarthy isn't needed here, since there's one in the previous section. That's a bit of overlinking.
Filming: Another link to McCarthy here. That's a lot of overlinking.
A minor point, but you could move the Northern Ireland link to the first paragraph of the section, at its first mention. Same goes for Malta.
"with the primary locations being the Paint Hall Studio in the Titanic Quarter of Belfast, Northern Ireland." What were the other locations? Or were the multiple locations in the studio? If so, that could be clarified to avoid confusion.
Without providing a full source review, I can tell you that there are numerous references that have improper all caps in the titles. I'm seeing them in refs 75, 76, 86, 96, 105, 106, and 111.
Giants2008 (
Talk) 00:46, 14 December 2016 (UTC)
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- A few of these still have the all caps; I struck the ones that are done.
Giants2008 (
Talk) 01:21, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
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- Fixed two (sorry, overlooked the not entirely ALL CAPS) and replaced the third entirely.
Jclemens (
talk)
- I'll address these over the next day or two. Apologies for the text deterioration since this was originally nominated.
Jclemens (
talk) 21:20, 14 December 2016 (UTC)
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- Ok "the next day or two" did not happen as planned. I will try to get to these and resolve them within the next 48 hours, if you can indulge me.
Jclemens (
talk) 02:58, 20 December 2016 (UTC)
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- I have addressed all of these concerns, and ping'ed Giants 2008 for his reappraisal. Cheers,
Jclemens (
talk) 04:32, 22 December 2016 (UTC)
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- There were a few points above that weren't fully done, so I left those unstruck for now. In addition, since there's been a lot of talk at ITN lately about sourcing actors' roles in articles, I suggest trying to cite as many of the guest cast members as possible. That's definitely an issue that I could see being brought up by other reviewers before the end of this FLC, and you're better off taking care of it now than having to rush at the end.
Giants2008 (
Talk) 01:21, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
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- This will take a bit more work. I should be able to get to it within the next week.
Jclemens (
talk) 09:34, 23 December 2016 (UTC)
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- Ok, so I cut a few entries that seemed irrelevant, sourced the vast majority of the rest, and will keep working on it. Oh, I also sourced the Season 1 actors playing roles later recast, including Tommen, Myrcella, and The Mountain.
Jclemens (
talk) 04:03, 25 December 2016 (UTC)
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- It looks like Ian Whyte and Ryan McKenna are the only remaining actors without a cite. Take care of those two and that will be all from me, as the rest of my comments have been taken care of.
Giants2008 (
Talk) 22:18, 27 December 2016 (UTC)
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- Ian Whyte has done a number of roles, like the giant Wun Wun in S6 (see "Non-human characters cast" in
List of Game of Thrones characters#Supporting cast) and I don't think this is particularly important in this context. McKenna... I couldn't find an RS for. I'm inclined to delete both of them, should it be deemed necessary.
Jclemens (
talk) 06:47, 28 December 2016 (UTC)
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