@ Wyattbecker, Sabimana.claude, and BCFneuropsychndsu: Nice start on your draft but there are some things you still need to do
- The lead section should summarize on the most important parts of the article; who Kaslow's parents are probably isn't the sort of information you should use here. Most readers are never going to get past the lead, so it's important to give them the key knowledge up front. Start with what she's known for - family therapy, I presume?
- "She has recieved degrees from many Universities" - education should be presented chronologically if possible, and the degrees mentioned. Don't say "many universities", name them (if you can). Make sure that what you're saying is actually notable - almost everyone with a PhD has degrees from 2 or 3 universities. Point out facts that are other than routine - say, someone who got all three degrees from one school, or who attended five different ones en route to a PhD - but if it's something ordinary, just say where she went (and maybe what she did at each, if you can source that sort of info). A bachelor's in what? What did she work on for her PhD? That kind of stuff is far more interesting.
- Showing is better than telling - rather than saying she's a "renowned psychologist" explain why she's renowned. Don't say that she has held "several prestigous positions", talk about the positions she has held. Careers are usually discussed in chronological order (more or less) so focus on telling the story in that way. Talk about the positions she was appointed to, and when - you can call them prestigious, but do so in context.
- When you use the same source more than once, you should reuse the citation. Follow the instructors on the second half of this page.
- Make sure that each statement can be connected to the references supporting it. References should appear immediately after the statements they support. There should be a minimum of one reference per paragraph, and there shouldn’t be any text after the last reference in a paragraph.
- Proofread your work - there are several typos in there, including "recieved" and "prestigous". Ian (Wiki Ed) ( talk) 16:53, 3 May 2018 (UTC)
- From Dr. Council: Please make these changes in order to publish your article. It looks like a lot, but these are pretty easy fixes. Let me know when you do so and are ready to publish. J.R. Council ( talk) 21
- 09, 3 May 2018 (UTC)
@ Wyattbecker, Sabimana.claude, and BCFneuropsychndsu: Nice start on your draft but there are some things you still need to do
- The lead section should summarize on the most important parts of the article; who Kaslow's parents are probably isn't the sort of information you should use here. Most readers are never going to get past the lead, so it's important to give them the key knowledge up front. Start with what she's known for - family therapy, I presume?
- "She has recieved degrees from many Universities" - education should be presented chronologically if possible, and the degrees mentioned. Don't say "many universities", name them (if you can). Make sure that what you're saying is actually notable - almost everyone with a PhD has degrees from 2 or 3 universities. Point out facts that are other than routine - say, someone who got all three degrees from one school, or who attended five different ones en route to a PhD - but if it's something ordinary, just say where she went (and maybe what she did at each, if you can source that sort of info). A bachelor's in what? What did she work on for her PhD? That kind of stuff is far more interesting.
- Showing is better than telling - rather than saying she's a "renowned psychologist" explain why she's renowned. Don't say that she has held "several prestigous positions", talk about the positions she has held. Careers are usually discussed in chronological order (more or less) so focus on telling the story in that way. Talk about the positions she was appointed to, and when - you can call them prestigious, but do so in context.
- When you use the same source more than once, you should reuse the citation. Follow the instructors on the second half of this page.
- Make sure that each statement can be connected to the references supporting it. References should appear immediately after the statements they support. There should be a minimum of one reference per paragraph, and there shouldn’t be any text after the last reference in a paragraph.
- Proofread your work - there are several typos in there, including "recieved" and "prestigous". Ian (Wiki Ed) ( talk) 16:53, 3 May 2018 (UTC)
- From Dr. Council: Please make these changes in order to publish your article. It looks like a lot, but these are pretty easy fixes. Let me know when you do so and are ready to publish. J.R. Council ( talk) 21
- 09, 3 May 2018 (UTC)