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Student7 ( talk) 21:37, 3 April 2012 (UTC)
Thank you for the article. The English in the article seems reasonable enough. The title, however, is incomprehensible. It needs to be changed however that can be done. "MB's operations to influence governments"? How about "Muslim Brotherhood's influence on governments." Anything but the current title. It needs articles, connectors, conjuctions (less preferred). Something to alleviate the strain of a mouthful of 4 words with 2-4 syllables each, unrelieved by anything else that might help the reader understand the title. Never mind that you will explain the title later in the article. Titles should be self-explanatory.
If you want this to be read by people who are not surprised when the topic is different from what they thought it would be. "Hits" may only be for a few seconds. Student7 ( talk) 11:55, 4 April 2012 (UTC)
- How about "Influence of the Muslim Brotherhood"? or (I don't really like this) "Muslim Brotherhood Influence."
- Yes, the other titles are misguided and confusing. You will have to lead them on this. It helps that "Russian" is one word, but coupling it with the United States is truly funny. I'm guessing these were all written by the same person, so it is not really "three examples" but one with three derivations. I'm thinking the insertion of the word "operations" is misguided style. It's a word English speakers don't expect to see coupled together with the others. And it's too long.
- (Is it about "influence" or about "operations?" It seems to promise too much. It seems gobbledegook). Student7 ( talk) 11:55, 4 April 2012 (UTC)
As a contributor to this article, you may be interested to know I have nominated it for deletion. Your comments are welcome at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Transnational organization. Robofish ( talk) 23:28, 25 July 2012 (UTC)
Welcome to Wikipedia! I hope you enjoy the encyclopedia and want to stay. As a first step, you may wish to read the Introduction.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask me at my talk page — I'm happy to help. Or, you can ask your question at the New contributors' help page.
Here are some more resources to help you as you explore and contribute to the world's largest encyclopedia...
Finding your way around:
Need help?
|
|
How you can help:
|
|
Additional tips...
|
|
Student7 ( talk) 21:37, 3 April 2012 (UTC)
Thank you for the article. The English in the article seems reasonable enough. The title, however, is incomprehensible. It needs to be changed however that can be done. "MB's operations to influence governments"? How about "Muslim Brotherhood's influence on governments." Anything but the current title. It needs articles, connectors, conjuctions (less preferred). Something to alleviate the strain of a mouthful of 4 words with 2-4 syllables each, unrelieved by anything else that might help the reader understand the title. Never mind that you will explain the title later in the article. Titles should be self-explanatory.
If you want this to be read by people who are not surprised when the topic is different from what they thought it would be. "Hits" may only be for a few seconds. Student7 ( talk) 11:55, 4 April 2012 (UTC)
- How about "Influence of the Muslim Brotherhood"? or (I don't really like this) "Muslim Brotherhood Influence."
- Yes, the other titles are misguided and confusing. You will have to lead them on this. It helps that "Russian" is one word, but coupling it with the United States is truly funny. I'm guessing these were all written by the same person, so it is not really "three examples" but one with three derivations. I'm thinking the insertion of the word "operations" is misguided style. It's a word English speakers don't expect to see coupled together with the others. And it's too long.
- (Is it about "influence" or about "operations?" It seems to promise too much. It seems gobbledegook). Student7 ( talk) 11:55, 4 April 2012 (UTC)
As a contributor to this article, you may be interested to know I have nominated it for deletion. Your comments are welcome at Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Transnational organization. Robofish ( talk) 23:28, 25 July 2012 (UTC)