Project changed to Neonatal nursing. See this archived page for a record of discussion about the previous topic.
-- howcheng { chat} 02:16, 6 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi, I've nominated an article you worked on, Neonatal nursing, for consideration to appear on the Main Page as part of Wikipedia:Did you know. You can see the "hook" for the article at Template talk:Did you know#Articles created on April 30 where you can improve it if you see fit. 1013-josh 22:14, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
I like that you chose this topic, as you have personal experience with the subject. To tell you the truth, when you selected it, I was a little surprised there was no existing article on neonatal nursing. As vast as Wikipedia seems, there are a lot of areas it hasn't covered very well, and I'm pleased to see you putting some essential information into the public domain. Structurally, the article is working well. The organization of sections is logical and helps you present the information cleanly to the reader. One thing I am interested to hear more about is the history of neonatal nursing. The changes the profession has undergone over the last 30 years are interesting to read about, and I found this section of your article particularly compelling. The main thing the article needs is a rigorous copy edit, cleaning up sentence style and grammar. You should also strive for a more formal encyclopedic tone. You use a colloquial voice at times (e.g. "this is simply not allowed") that doesn't suit the forum of a Wikipedia article. Another concern is that your article is what they call "U.S.-centric." It's mostly about neonatal nursing in the United States. The salary considerations, qualifications, policies, and even the history relate mostly to the United States nursing system. That's fine; there's nothing wrong with an article about neonatal nursing in the U.S. But you have to be careful that your language doesn't imply that the U.S. system is the norm around the world. You should open with an international definition of neonatal nursing, and then you may want to make a special section called "Neonatal nursing in the United States" and include most of your information there. If other Wikipedia editors want to come along and add sections about neonatal nursing in other countries they will be able to do so, or you could do some more research yourself. Finally, your article could use a heavy dose of (a) internal links ("wikilinks") in the body text, and (b) in-text citations (footnotes) after the statistics and elsewhere as appropriate. You're off to a good start with research, and your references section is filling out nicely, but sometimes it's hard to match those references up with specific pieces of information in the text. 1013-josh 09:28, 2 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi, your introduction is very informative and does a good job of letting the reader know what neonatal nursing is, but it seems quite long. I think it would be helpful if you separated you introduction into more sections. Maybe add a section on the different levels of neonatal nursing. Your qualifications and requirements section is well organized and contains good information. The salary section is also well organized and informative. Your history to present seems to be more focused on the job outlook, it might be a good idea to include more about the history and present if possible. It also might be a good idea to change the title of the section to include outlook. Overall your article is very informative, but it seems to focus more on the job side of things rather than the procedures used to care for the infants. Your article could also use some footnotes and a categories section at the bottom of the page. This may be unnecessary, but I was told by a wikipedian to create stubs for red wiki links. 1013-Brendan 20:35, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi Loree,
Hi. Your article is very thorough, but it is still really only about the US. I suggest you move it to Neonatal nursing in the United States (use the "move" tab next to "history" at the top). That would allow you to drop the passing references to other countries and the awkward "Neonatal Nursing in the United States" heading. If somebody wants to come along later and fill out details for other countries or give a worldwide overview they can always move it back or merge it with their new article. There are still a few places where you have some repetition, but for a first article it is very good. Yomangani talk 01:31, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
What do you think, Loree? Should we move it to Neonatal nursing in the United States? 1013-josh 01:40, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi Loree- I think you definitely have a great start to information on neonatal nursing. You have a ton of revelant information that could provide a researcher solid facts about the nurses and the field. It is also refreshing to read about something a little different from anything else I have read about this semester. I do think that the beginning kind of overwhelms me with information. I think that that should be just a brief overview of the topic, and the other information should be moved to underneith the contents box. Also, your history topic should be moved above the qualifications topic. I think the flow would be a little bit better. You still need a see also section and to cite more of your work. Tomorrow I will have a full research day, so I will provide you with some more articles to contribute to yur article. I will also help with grammatical stuff (I thought that was my job, but I'm not sure so I will do it anyways). Great start and good luck. 1013-shae 03:46, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
I gave a review for Lisa's page and was quite pleased on her article.
I gave a review for Shae's page and enjoyed reading it, but gave an opinion on citations/resources. Went through paper and footnotes and got deleted some random punctuation.
I gave a review for Brendan's page and was happy to be able to relate to the article and gave an opinion on separating paragraphs.
Hi Josh- I have finished my homework for Apr. 16, 2007 1013-rey 15:42, 16 April 2007 (UTC)
Homework for Apr. 18 2007 The Ents resemble real trees in every way, except for the fact that they can see, talk, and move. 1013-rey 15:47, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
Homework for Apr. 20 2007 I give consent for this project. 1013-rey 16:39, 20 April 2007 (UTC)
Homework for Apr. 23 2007 I have finished my introduction to my research topic. 1013-rey 08:07, 22 April 2007 (UTC)
Hey josh! I guess I am done with my article, it is finished. :) It was awesome having you as our teacher, so thank you for all you have done and good luck with whatever you do! Have a great summer! 1013-rey 12:53, 10 May 2007 (UTC)
Hey, I just posted some helpful research links; don't miss them! 1013-josh 21:34, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
Wikipedians, if you're commenting specifically about the Neonatal nursing article, feel free to chime in in the "Workshop" section above.
If you're looking for a place to get ideas, you might check out Wikipedia:WikiProject_Biography/Core_biographies/Cultural_depictions_of_core_biography_figures. Wikipedia's biography project has identified 200 people as core biographies - people such as Napoleon, Albert Einstein, etc. - with an ultimate goal of prioritizing improvements to the site's biography articles of the most important people in history. I raised one of those pages to featured article status and in the process I branched off an "in popular culture" section into a featured list called Cultural depictions of Joan of Arc. A similar approach might benefit quite a few of those other core biographies. If this idea interests you, consult with your instructor. Best wishes, Durova Charge! 17:45, 20 April 2007 (UTC)
Welcome!
Hello, 1013-rey, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are some pages that you might find helpful:
I hope you enjoy editing here and being a
Wikipedian! Please
sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically produce your name and the date. If you need help, check out
Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask your question and then place {{helpme}}
after the question on your talk page. Again, welcome!
I noticed that the Root River (Wisconsin) article is under 200 words, so if you want a topic local to your hometown you might also consider that.-- Pharos 07:38, 22 April 2007 (UTC)
Hello and Welcome to Wikipedia. I noticed you added a ref tag to your draft. See Wikipedia:Footnotes for a how-to guideline on formatting refs. -- Geniac 02:45, 24 April 2007 (UTC)
Project changed to Neonatal nursing. See this archived page for a record of discussion about the previous topic.
-- howcheng { chat} 02:16, 6 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi, I've nominated an article you worked on, Neonatal nursing, for consideration to appear on the Main Page as part of Wikipedia:Did you know. You can see the "hook" for the article at Template talk:Did you know#Articles created on April 30 where you can improve it if you see fit. 1013-josh 22:14, 30 April 2007 (UTC)
I like that you chose this topic, as you have personal experience with the subject. To tell you the truth, when you selected it, I was a little surprised there was no existing article on neonatal nursing. As vast as Wikipedia seems, there are a lot of areas it hasn't covered very well, and I'm pleased to see you putting some essential information into the public domain. Structurally, the article is working well. The organization of sections is logical and helps you present the information cleanly to the reader. One thing I am interested to hear more about is the history of neonatal nursing. The changes the profession has undergone over the last 30 years are interesting to read about, and I found this section of your article particularly compelling. The main thing the article needs is a rigorous copy edit, cleaning up sentence style and grammar. You should also strive for a more formal encyclopedic tone. You use a colloquial voice at times (e.g. "this is simply not allowed") that doesn't suit the forum of a Wikipedia article. Another concern is that your article is what they call "U.S.-centric." It's mostly about neonatal nursing in the United States. The salary considerations, qualifications, policies, and even the history relate mostly to the United States nursing system. That's fine; there's nothing wrong with an article about neonatal nursing in the U.S. But you have to be careful that your language doesn't imply that the U.S. system is the norm around the world. You should open with an international definition of neonatal nursing, and then you may want to make a special section called "Neonatal nursing in the United States" and include most of your information there. If other Wikipedia editors want to come along and add sections about neonatal nursing in other countries they will be able to do so, or you could do some more research yourself. Finally, your article could use a heavy dose of (a) internal links ("wikilinks") in the body text, and (b) in-text citations (footnotes) after the statistics and elsewhere as appropriate. You're off to a good start with research, and your references section is filling out nicely, but sometimes it's hard to match those references up with specific pieces of information in the text. 1013-josh 09:28, 2 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi, your introduction is very informative and does a good job of letting the reader know what neonatal nursing is, but it seems quite long. I think it would be helpful if you separated you introduction into more sections. Maybe add a section on the different levels of neonatal nursing. Your qualifications and requirements section is well organized and contains good information. The salary section is also well organized and informative. Your history to present seems to be more focused on the job outlook, it might be a good idea to include more about the history and present if possible. It also might be a good idea to change the title of the section to include outlook. Overall your article is very informative, but it seems to focus more on the job side of things rather than the procedures used to care for the infants. Your article could also use some footnotes and a categories section at the bottom of the page. This may be unnecessary, but I was told by a wikipedian to create stubs for red wiki links. 1013-Brendan 20:35, 3 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi Loree,
Hi. Your article is very thorough, but it is still really only about the US. I suggest you move it to Neonatal nursing in the United States (use the "move" tab next to "history" at the top). That would allow you to drop the passing references to other countries and the awkward "Neonatal Nursing in the United States" heading. If somebody wants to come along later and fill out details for other countries or give a worldwide overview they can always move it back or merge it with their new article. There are still a few places where you have some repetition, but for a first article it is very good. Yomangani talk 01:31, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
What do you think, Loree? Should we move it to Neonatal nursing in the United States? 1013-josh 01:40, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
Hi Loree- I think you definitely have a great start to information on neonatal nursing. You have a ton of revelant information that could provide a researcher solid facts about the nurses and the field. It is also refreshing to read about something a little different from anything else I have read about this semester. I do think that the beginning kind of overwhelms me with information. I think that that should be just a brief overview of the topic, and the other information should be moved to underneith the contents box. Also, your history topic should be moved above the qualifications topic. I think the flow would be a little bit better. You still need a see also section and to cite more of your work. Tomorrow I will have a full research day, so I will provide you with some more articles to contribute to yur article. I will also help with grammatical stuff (I thought that was my job, but I'm not sure so I will do it anyways). Great start and good luck. 1013-shae 03:46, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
I gave a review for Lisa's page and was quite pleased on her article.
I gave a review for Shae's page and enjoyed reading it, but gave an opinion on citations/resources. Went through paper and footnotes and got deleted some random punctuation.
I gave a review for Brendan's page and was happy to be able to relate to the article and gave an opinion on separating paragraphs.
Hi Josh- I have finished my homework for Apr. 16, 2007 1013-rey 15:42, 16 April 2007 (UTC)
Homework for Apr. 18 2007 The Ents resemble real trees in every way, except for the fact that they can see, talk, and move. 1013-rey 15:47, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
Homework for Apr. 20 2007 I give consent for this project. 1013-rey 16:39, 20 April 2007 (UTC)
Homework for Apr. 23 2007 I have finished my introduction to my research topic. 1013-rey 08:07, 22 April 2007 (UTC)
Hey josh! I guess I am done with my article, it is finished. :) It was awesome having you as our teacher, so thank you for all you have done and good luck with whatever you do! Have a great summer! 1013-rey 12:53, 10 May 2007 (UTC)
Hey, I just posted some helpful research links; don't miss them! 1013-josh 21:34, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
Wikipedians, if you're commenting specifically about the Neonatal nursing article, feel free to chime in in the "Workshop" section above.
If you're looking for a place to get ideas, you might check out Wikipedia:WikiProject_Biography/Core_biographies/Cultural_depictions_of_core_biography_figures. Wikipedia's biography project has identified 200 people as core biographies - people such as Napoleon, Albert Einstein, etc. - with an ultimate goal of prioritizing improvements to the site's biography articles of the most important people in history. I raised one of those pages to featured article status and in the process I branched off an "in popular culture" section into a featured list called Cultural depictions of Joan of Arc. A similar approach might benefit quite a few of those other core biographies. If this idea interests you, consult with your instructor. Best wishes, Durova Charge! 17:45, 20 April 2007 (UTC)
Welcome!
Hello, 1013-rey, and welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are some pages that you might find helpful:
I hope you enjoy editing here and being a
Wikipedian! Please
sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); this will automatically produce your name and the date. If you need help, check out
Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or ask your question and then place {{helpme}}
after the question on your talk page. Again, welcome!
I noticed that the Root River (Wisconsin) article is under 200 words, so if you want a topic local to your hometown you might also consider that.-- Pharos 07:38, 22 April 2007 (UTC)
Hello and Welcome to Wikipedia. I noticed you added a ref tag to your draft. See Wikipedia:Footnotes for a how-to guideline on formatting refs. -- Geniac 02:45, 24 April 2007 (UTC)