- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by
PFHLai (
talk) 20:58, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
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Emilia Baeyertz, Charles Nalder Baeyertz
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( Article history links: )
... that evangelist Emilia Baeyertz preached to thousands on Christianity but her son, Charles Nalder Baeyertz, was more concerned about the moral dangers of "a prevalence of bad English"?- ALT1: ... that Emilia Baeyertz preached to crowds on Christianity but her son, Charles Nalder Baeyertz, was concerned about the moral dangers of "a prevalence of bad English"?
Created/expanded by Worm That Turned ( talk) and Staceydolxx ( talk). Nominated by Worm That Turned ( talk) at 14:47, 22 April 2016 (UTC).
-
Going to review the evangelist, no time for more today. - Nitpicking: If it's
homeschooling, should it be "homeschooled"? "home-schooled"? - "home schooled" looks strange to me. Different wording altogether? - "... where she fell in love with and secretly married an Anglican Christian man", - supposed to create curiosity? "with and secretly" looks also strange to me ;) - may be my lack of English though. You will fix the harv errors, I trust.
- Substantial GA on good sources, offline source accepted AGF, - interesting life! - Hook: I think an evangelist is always a preacher on Christianity, can we avoid that redundance, perhaps by being more specific on her topic? (Not in the article yet.) Or drop "Christianity". - "thousands" seem to few if 2300 came to one meeting. - Can't speak of the second part of the hook yet, - may get to him in case I need another qpq. -- Gerda Arendt ( talk) 15:32, 5 May 2016 (UTC)
- I now looked also at the son, fine, well sourced. The quote from which the hook is drawn stands a bit isolated, - could you you connect it with the body? - I have difficulties to justify the "more" in the hook? (he more concerned about the dangers ... than she about Christianity, or what?) Drop it? Still need an answer to the Christianity redundancy. --
Gerda Arendt (
talk) 22:48, 6 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for this Gerda. I was trying to find a hook which linked the mother and son, whilst remaining interesting. The parallel between the mother's evangelism and the son's complaints of "moral dangers" of bad English is definitely hook-y. I do see your point about redundancy, but I would like to see the topic that both mother and son were outspoken on very different topics, so I might say remove the word "evangelist" rather than "on Christianity". I've proposed an ALT which hopefully satisfies your concerns :)
WormTT(
talk) 09:41, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
-
You understood me ;) --
Gerda Arendt (
talk) 10:38, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
-
- Thanks for this Gerda. I was trying to find a hook which linked the mother and son, whilst remaining interesting. The parallel between the mother's evangelism and the son's complaints of "moral dangers" of bad English is definitely hook-y. I do see your point about redundancy, but I would like to see the topic that both mother and son were outspoken on very different topics, so I might say remove the word "evangelist" rather than "on Christianity". I've proposed an ALT which hopefully satisfies your concerns :)
WormTT(
talk) 09:41, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by
PFHLai (
talk) 20:58, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
| DYK toolbox |
|---|
Emilia Baeyertz, Charles Nalder Baeyertz
(
Back to T:TDYK )
( Article history links: )
... that evangelist Emilia Baeyertz preached to thousands on Christianity but her son, Charles Nalder Baeyertz, was more concerned about the moral dangers of "a prevalence of bad English"?- ALT1: ... that Emilia Baeyertz preached to crowds on Christianity but her son, Charles Nalder Baeyertz, was concerned about the moral dangers of "a prevalence of bad English"?
Created/expanded by Worm That Turned ( talk) and Staceydolxx ( talk). Nominated by Worm That Turned ( talk) at 14:47, 22 April 2016 (UTC).
-
Going to review the evangelist, no time for more today. - Nitpicking: If it's
homeschooling, should it be "homeschooled"? "home-schooled"? - "home schooled" looks strange to me. Different wording altogether? - "... where she fell in love with and secretly married an Anglican Christian man", - supposed to create curiosity? "with and secretly" looks also strange to me ;) - may be my lack of English though. You will fix the harv errors, I trust.
- Substantial GA on good sources, offline source accepted AGF, - interesting life! - Hook: I think an evangelist is always a preacher on Christianity, can we avoid that redundance, perhaps by being more specific on her topic? (Not in the article yet.) Or drop "Christianity". - "thousands" seem to few if 2300 came to one meeting. - Can't speak of the second part of the hook yet, - may get to him in case I need another qpq. -- Gerda Arendt ( talk) 15:32, 5 May 2016 (UTC)
- I now looked also at the son, fine, well sourced. The quote from which the hook is drawn stands a bit isolated, - could you you connect it with the body? - I have difficulties to justify the "more" in the hook? (he more concerned about the dangers ... than she about Christianity, or what?) Drop it? Still need an answer to the Christianity redundancy. --
Gerda Arendt (
talk) 22:48, 6 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for this Gerda. I was trying to find a hook which linked the mother and son, whilst remaining interesting. The parallel between the mother's evangelism and the son's complaints of "moral dangers" of bad English is definitely hook-y. I do see your point about redundancy, but I would like to see the topic that both mother and son were outspoken on very different topics, so I might say remove the word "evangelist" rather than "on Christianity". I've proposed an ALT which hopefully satisfies your concerns :)
WormTT(
talk) 09:41, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
-
You understood me ;) --
Gerda Arendt (
talk) 10:38, 7 May 2016 (UTC)
-
- Thanks for this Gerda. I was trying to find a hook which linked the mother and son, whilst remaining interesting. The parallel between the mother's evangelism and the son's complaints of "moral dangers" of bad English is definitely hook-y. I do see your point about redundancy, but I would like to see the topic that both mother and son were outspoken on very different topics, so I might say remove the word "evangelist" rather than "on Christianity". I've proposed an ALT which hopefully satisfies your concerns :)
WormTT(
talk) 09:41, 7 May 2016 (UTC)