This article has some problems that need to be sorted out:
Who is the president of the GA?
There's a lack of articles ("a," "the")
"Ban Ki-moon confirmed that his participation" <-- confirmed what?
The hook needs to be revised to state that the GA is a part of the UN. Just saying "GA" is not clear enough towards our readers.
The article is outdated. The event has come and gone. What actually happened there?
Hope that helps!—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 15:07, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
Yes, your review is helpful. I think I resolved first four problems out of five. When this article was created the debate was not yet held. I will briefly explain what has happened there. Please find below alternative hook proposal.
Drop "the resumed part of." That part is unimportant to the reader. Here's another issue: some of the lead needs to be moved below the first header, because the lead is supposed to be a summary. Not start giving details which are not repeated elsewhere.—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 21:02, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
The article is much better now, but the hook states that the boycot was not succesful. That statement is sourced to a remark made by the UNGA president, who is not a neutral, secondary source. Therefore, you can't state for a fact that the boycot was unsuccesful.—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 10:20, 1 May 2013 (UTC)
That ALT3 looks good to me. However, please go over the article one more time. Past, present and future tense are used interchangeably. If you can bring that more in line, I can probably support this.—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 07:15, 2 May 2013 (UTC)
I'll take care of it within several days.--
Antidiskriminator (
talk) 20:53, 3 May 2013 (UTC)
This article has some problems that need to be sorted out:
Who is the president of the GA?
There's a lack of articles ("a," "the")
"Ban Ki-moon confirmed that his participation" <-- confirmed what?
The hook needs to be revised to state that the GA is a part of the UN. Just saying "GA" is not clear enough towards our readers.
The article is outdated. The event has come and gone. What actually happened there?
Hope that helps!—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 15:07, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
Yes, your review is helpful. I think I resolved first four problems out of five. When this article was created the debate was not yet held. I will briefly explain what has happened there. Please find below alternative hook proposal.
Drop "the resumed part of." That part is unimportant to the reader. Here's another issue: some of the lead needs to be moved below the first header, because the lead is supposed to be a summary. Not start giving details which are not repeated elsewhere.—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 21:02, 28 April 2013 (UTC)
The article is much better now, but the hook states that the boycot was not succesful. That statement is sourced to a remark made by the UNGA president, who is not a neutral, secondary source. Therefore, you can't state for a fact that the boycot was unsuccesful.—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 10:20, 1 May 2013 (UTC)
That ALT3 looks good to me. However, please go over the article one more time. Past, present and future tense are used interchangeably. If you can bring that more in line, I can probably support this.—♦♦ AMBER(ЯʘCK) 07:15, 2 May 2013 (UTC)
I'll take care of it within several days.--
Antidiskriminator (
talk) 20:53, 3 May 2013 (UTC)