The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
this nomination's talk page,
the article's talk page or
Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by
Yoninah (
talk) 22:17, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
Overall: The hook is not really interesting. Even her being the first Indian to swim across Lake Constance, Key West or Lake Travis is also not interesting in itself for a hook
Roller26 (
talk) 08:15, 27 November 2020 (UTC)
I would agree that it's not very interesting to say she is the "first Indian woman to swim X", that's why I thought I would combine three of her achievements all in one sentence. I'm at a loss how to make the hook more interesting.
Mujinga (
talk) 11:55, 1 December 2020 (UTC)
, asking for a pair of fresh eyes to check whether the hook is interesting enough for DYK.
Roller26 (
talk) 07:57, 2 December 2020 (UTC)
I think the hook is interesting enough, but it makes her look like a regular person who likes swimming. Is that the impression you want to give? Another idea would be to refer to her as a marathon swimmer, name one of her prize-winning swims, and then say that the English Channel was the only thing that thwarted her, or something like that.
Yoninah (
talk) 13:02, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
Thanks for the responses. OK, I'll suggest these new ALTs
Mujinga (
talk) 14:01, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
The original reviewer has been offline for two weeks. We need a new reviewer here. @
Kingsif: are you available? Thanks,
Yoninah (
talk) 13:55, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
I also find the hooks not hook-y. How about mentioning she left competitive swimming to teach before becoming an award-winning marathon swimmer? Contrasting facts like that can be quite interesting. @
Joofjoof and
Yoninah: Happy to review any hooks proposed.
Kingsif (
talk) 19:20, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
I don't see this going anywhere good so I'll withdraw my QPQ and use it elsewhere. Good luck with it Joofjoof if you want to carry on with it.
Mujinga (
talk) 23:40, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
Mujinga, isn't this your nomination? You removed the credit line. Are you withdrawing the nomination?
Yoninah (
talk) 00:09, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
Yoninah, as
Mujinga has withdrawn their QPQ along with deleting the "Created" boilerplate, the nomination can't pass without the former, and their withdrawal is made clear enough for me by the latter. I'm marking this for closure.
BlueMoonset (
talk) 04:06, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
BlueMoonset, is it possible to adopt this nom?
Joofjoof (
talk) 07:59, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
@
Joofjoof: yes, we often encourage editors to rescue nominations. Please provide a new hook and QPQ (if you have less than 5 DYK credits). I'm striking the unused hooks.
Yoninah (
talk) 18:51, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
I have restored the "Created" boilerplate, because it needs to remain on an active nomination even if someone later takes over.
Yoninah, it looks like
Joofjoof has two prior DYK credits, so a QPQ will not be required, though a new, more interesting hook will be.
BlueMoonset (
talk) 21:02, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
Thanks everyone!
Kingsif, how about this?
Joofjoof (
talk) 04:11, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
ALT5 ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja(pictured) retired to become a lecturer, but took up marathon swimming five years later? Source:
[1],
[2]
ALT6 ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja(pictured) retired to become a lecturer, but later became an award-winning marathon swimmer? Source:
[3],
[4]
Thanks, @
Joofjoof:. Alt5 and 6 both more interesting, sourced in article. Preference for Alt5 for flow.
Kingsif (
talk) 09:23, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
Pardon my saying, but is this really the best hook you can suggest? Also, a cite is needed for her birth year.
Yoninah (
talk) 18:40, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
The image has just been nominated for deletion at Commons.
Yoninah (
talk) 11:53, 30 December 2020 (UTC)
I have removed the image. How about this hook:
ALT7 ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja encountered snakes and a corpse during a river race at
Murshidabad? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[5],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[6]
@
Joofjoof: hooks like that are much more interesting! I'll review again if nobody else is around
Kingsif (
talk) 15:41, 2 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Joofjoof and
Yoninah: Article moved to mainspace within time and satis length, no copyvio. Suitable refs, though I can't access all of them. Alt7 is interesting, but the article makes it clear that the snakes and the body were encountered on different swims, while the hooks implies it was the same one; could the hook be clarified?
Kingsif (
talk) 16:42, 4 January 2021 (UTC)
Thanks
Kingsif, how about one of these?
Joofjoof (
talk) 19:07, 4 January 2021 (UTC)
ALT8a ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja encountered snakes and a corpse while participating in river races at
Murshidabad? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[7],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[8]
ALT8b ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja faced water snakes in one river race at
Murshidabad, and a corpse in another? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[9],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[10]
Those solve it, 8a reads best (phrase-tweaking by promoter expected, though)
Kingsif (
talk) 21:42, 4 January 2021 (UTC)
Our article on
Bhagirathi River, where she encountered the snakes, does not say that the river is located in
Murshidabad, West Bengal, but in the state of Uttarakhand.
Yoninah (
talk) 14:41, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Yoninah: the article you linked also points to the distributary of the same name (alternatively known as the
Hooghly River), which does originate in Murshidabad.
Joofjoof (
talk) 21:43, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Joofjoof: OK. So do you want to pipe the link in the article and hook to
Hooghly River?
Yoninah (
talk) 21:50, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Yoninah: Sure, I have added the pipes to the article. Here is a pipe for the hook.
Joofjoof (
talk) 22:01, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
ALT8c ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja encountered snakes and a corpse while participating in races on the
Bhagirathi-Hooghly River at
Murshidabad? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[11],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[12]
Thank you. Restoring tick per Kingsif's review.
Yoninah (
talk) 22:13, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
this nomination's talk page,
the article's talk page or
Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by
Yoninah (
talk) 22:17, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
Overall: The hook is not really interesting. Even her being the first Indian to swim across Lake Constance, Key West or Lake Travis is also not interesting in itself for a hook
Roller26 (
talk) 08:15, 27 November 2020 (UTC)
I would agree that it's not very interesting to say she is the "first Indian woman to swim X", that's why I thought I would combine three of her achievements all in one sentence. I'm at a loss how to make the hook more interesting.
Mujinga (
talk) 11:55, 1 December 2020 (UTC)
, asking for a pair of fresh eyes to check whether the hook is interesting enough for DYK.
Roller26 (
talk) 07:57, 2 December 2020 (UTC)
I think the hook is interesting enough, but it makes her look like a regular person who likes swimming. Is that the impression you want to give? Another idea would be to refer to her as a marathon swimmer, name one of her prize-winning swims, and then say that the English Channel was the only thing that thwarted her, or something like that.
Yoninah (
talk) 13:02, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
Thanks for the responses. OK, I'll suggest these new ALTs
Mujinga (
talk) 14:01, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
The original reviewer has been offline for two weeks. We need a new reviewer here. @
Kingsif: are you available? Thanks,
Yoninah (
talk) 13:55, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
I also find the hooks not hook-y. How about mentioning she left competitive swimming to teach before becoming an award-winning marathon swimmer? Contrasting facts like that can be quite interesting. @
Joofjoof and
Yoninah: Happy to review any hooks proposed.
Kingsif (
talk) 19:20, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
I don't see this going anywhere good so I'll withdraw my QPQ and use it elsewhere. Good luck with it Joofjoof if you want to carry on with it.
Mujinga (
talk) 23:40, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
Mujinga, isn't this your nomination? You removed the credit line. Are you withdrawing the nomination?
Yoninah (
talk) 00:09, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
Yoninah, as
Mujinga has withdrawn their QPQ along with deleting the "Created" boilerplate, the nomination can't pass without the former, and their withdrawal is made clear enough for me by the latter. I'm marking this for closure.
BlueMoonset (
talk) 04:06, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
BlueMoonset, is it possible to adopt this nom?
Joofjoof (
talk) 07:59, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
@
Joofjoof: yes, we often encourage editors to rescue nominations. Please provide a new hook and QPQ (if you have less than 5 DYK credits). I'm striking the unused hooks.
Yoninah (
talk) 18:51, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
I have restored the "Created" boilerplate, because it needs to remain on an active nomination even if someone later takes over.
Yoninah, it looks like
Joofjoof has two prior DYK credits, so a QPQ will not be required, though a new, more interesting hook will be.
BlueMoonset (
talk) 21:02, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
Thanks everyone!
Kingsif, how about this?
Joofjoof (
talk) 04:11, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
ALT5 ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja(pictured) retired to become a lecturer, but took up marathon swimming five years later? Source:
[1],
[2]
ALT6 ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja(pictured) retired to become a lecturer, but later became an award-winning marathon swimmer? Source:
[3],
[4]
Thanks, @
Joofjoof:. Alt5 and 6 both more interesting, sourced in article. Preference for Alt5 for flow.
Kingsif (
talk) 09:23, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
Pardon my saying, but is this really the best hook you can suggest? Also, a cite is needed for her birth year.
Yoninah (
talk) 18:40, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
The image has just been nominated for deletion at Commons.
Yoninah (
talk) 11:53, 30 December 2020 (UTC)
I have removed the image. How about this hook:
ALT7 ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja encountered snakes and a corpse during a river race at
Murshidabad? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[5],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[6]
@
Joofjoof: hooks like that are much more interesting! I'll review again if nobody else is around
Kingsif (
talk) 15:41, 2 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Joofjoof and
Yoninah: Article moved to mainspace within time and satis length, no copyvio. Suitable refs, though I can't access all of them. Alt7 is interesting, but the article makes it clear that the snakes and the body were encountered on different swims, while the hooks implies it was the same one; could the hook be clarified?
Kingsif (
talk) 16:42, 4 January 2021 (UTC)
Thanks
Kingsif, how about one of these?
Joofjoof (
talk) 19:07, 4 January 2021 (UTC)
ALT8a ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja encountered snakes and a corpse while participating in river races at
Murshidabad? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[7],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[8]
ALT8b ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja faced water snakes in one river race at
Murshidabad, and a corpse in another? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[9],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[10]
Those solve it, 8a reads best (phrase-tweaking by promoter expected, though)
Kingsif (
talk) 21:42, 4 January 2021 (UTC)
Our article on
Bhagirathi River, where she encountered the snakes, does not say that the river is located in
Murshidabad, West Bengal, but in the state of Uttarakhand.
Yoninah (
talk) 14:41, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Yoninah: the article you linked also points to the distributary of the same name (alternatively known as the
Hooghly River), which does originate in Murshidabad.
Joofjoof (
talk) 21:43, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Joofjoof: OK. So do you want to pipe the link in the article and hook to
Hooghly River?
Yoninah (
talk) 21:50, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
@
Yoninah: Sure, I have added the pipes to the article. Here is a pipe for the hook.
Joofjoof (
talk) 22:01, 5 January 2021 (UTC)
ALT8c ... that competitive swimmer Meenakshi Pahuja encountered snakes and a corpse while participating in races on the
Bhagirathi-Hooghly River at
Murshidabad? Source: "race in Bhagirathi river at Murshidabad, West Bengal...'Fighting muddy water and water snakes, I covered it in 12 hours and 27 minutes, so I was really on a high'"
[11],"I was there in Murshidabad (West Bengal) and racing with a ‘dead body’."
[12]
Thank you. Restoring tick per Kingsif's review.
Yoninah (
talk) 22:13, 5 January 2021 (UTC)