The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie ( talk · contribs) 08:35, 8 June 2023 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
Go over the copy with a fine-tooth comb for grammar and spelling errors. I need to come back to this (it's too late at night), but the article gives me an overall sloppy impression. There are sections that need it badly. There's a decent chance this gets failed.
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and
verifiable.
- a. (
reference section):
- b. (citations to
reliable sources):
- c. (
OR):
- d. (
copyvio and
plagiarism):
- a. (
reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a. (
major aspects):
- b. (
focused):
- a. (
major aspects):
- It follows the
neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by
images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a. (images are tagged and non-free content have
non-free use rationales):
- All the images are freely licensed (either PD-USGov or various flavors of CC).
- b. (
appropriate use with
suitable captions):
- a. (images are tagged and non-free content have
non-free use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/fail:
- I am going to need to see this page tidied up a bit before I am inclined to pass it for GA. The work seems doable, but you need to look at the page with fresh eyes. 7-day hold. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:44, 8 June 2023 (UTC)
- Pass/fail:
(Criteria marked
are unassessed)
Copy changes
- The lead section could bear with some expansion.
- expanded-- Found5dollar ( talk) 21:55, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- There are many places where a comma is needed to complete the appositive, set off a long introductory prepositional phrase, etc. e.g.
- The tower, built at virtually the same time as the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building was designed
- Featuring suites paneled in oak imported from Sherwood Forest the rooms...
- Before leaving office on Jan. 20, 1993 Bush... (expand January too)
- Also see
User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences.
- repaired these comma issues noted above-- Found5dollar ( talk) 21:55, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- Designer James Irving states "I consider Louis Rorimer to be the Louis Comfort Tiffany of furniture." A bit of a random quote that I think could be worked better into the prose.
- You are right it really has no bearing on the rest fo the text. I just cut the quote out.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 21:55, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- The Van Sweringen brothers built a vast and maze-like empire of real estate and railroad holdings, including the Chesapeake and Ohio Railway (C&O), out of this office and on these desks. The tone of this seems a bit...off? OR? SYNTHy?
- paired this back to The Van Sweringen brothers built a vast tangle of real estate and railroad holdings, including the Chesapeake and Ohio Railway (C&O).-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- so while the description of the desk on display matches the four desks created for the Van Sweringen's executive offices, it may be impossible to definitively state this award winning desk is the same designs as the C&O desk. is unsupported by any citation. The whole paragraph may be OR.
- This one is tricky. I spoke with an archivist at the Cleveland Museum of Art and she was fairly certain it was the same desk but there just no way to prove it through documents. I have removed the whole paragraph and moved it to the talk page where, someday, we may get enough citations for it.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- Conger explained that after this interaction he "volunteered to run a public campaign to furnish the rooms in a manner befitting America's heritage." Needs some
MOS:LOGICAL and commas around "after this interaction".
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- On May 2, 1985, the desk was moved from the Oval Office study to then-Vice President George H. W. Bush's main work space in the White House where he started using it. comma after "White House" would help
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- "nineteen year-old" needs to have an extra hyphen (three-word compound).
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- Funds were appropriated by congress why isn't this capitalized?
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- of the Chessie System.[8](The Chessie System was the name for the new railroad conglomerate formed when the C&O acquired the Baltimore and Ohio in 1963.)[12] A space is needed after the reference 8; this parenthetical should be worked into text better. Where a reference only applies to a parenthetical, it goes inside the parentheses. But there has to be a better way.
- Tried this new sentence structure, In 1963, the C&O acquired the Baltimore and Ohio forming a conglomerate caled the Chessie System.[2] According to a document listing objects loaned to the White House between 1969 and 1974, Hays T. Watkins of the Chessie System loaned the C&O desk to the Diplomatic Reception Rooms.[3]
- Some quotes are just too long and are causing high Earwig scores, e.g. According to a 2021 interview with Warren Finch, director of the library, by Jeff Miller for Texas Co-op Power magazine, "President Bush noted that every other presidential library had an Oval Office display, and he thought they were boring. For the library’s first 10 years, the Oval Office display didn’t exist. But eventually President Bush was overruled, and the display is one of the most popular stops for visitors."
- It seems @ GA-RT-22 tried tackling this with block quotes. does this help?-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:50, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- What's an Earwig score?
GA-RT-22 (
talk) 22:59, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- @ GA-RT-22 it is an app used to check for copyright violations and plagiarism. -- Found5dollar ( talk) 18:01, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
Spot checks
- [6] (Irving quote): Checks out. Major note: the name of the company that bought Rorimer and Brooks in 1957 is not Irving & Co. but Irvin & Co.
- OOF. Thank you for catching that.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:19, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- [16] (closure of the C&O offices in 1986) checked out, though was a bit hard to get page 300 from the same source as page 299.
- [21] Mentions the note but says it was in the Resolute desk. Presumably this is an error? (A kind of understandable one, too.)
Encouragements
Not necessary for GA, but included to promote better articles.
- Add alt text to remaining images.
- Alt texts added to remaining images.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 18:08, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
- Convert references not using citation templates to use them.
Response from nominator
@ Sammi Brie,thank you for the review. I believe I have addressed all of your concerns and notes. Please see my comments above. Let me know if there is anything else you see that needs working on.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 18:11, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
- One last thing @
Found5dollar. Do you have a title for the 1988 Chesapeake & Ohio magazine article? The snippet view is insufficient for me to find it.
Sammi Brie (she/her •
t •
c) 00:47, 14 June 2023 (UTC)
- @
Sammi Brie, unfortunately I do not. I have reached out to the Chesapeake and Ohio Historical Society several times and have yet to hear back about the article title. Please let me know if there is any other issues or suggestions you have for the article.--
Found5dollar (
talk) 15:57, 17 June 2023 (UTC)
- Going to pass. Was hoping more info could be found, but alas. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 06:43, 19 June 2023 (UTC)
- @
Sammi Brie, unfortunately I do not. I have reached out to the Chesapeake and Ohio Historical Society several times and have yet to hear back about the article title. Please let me know if there is any other issues or suggestions you have for the article.--
Found5dollar (
talk) 15:57, 17 June 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
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history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Sammi Brie ( talk · contribs) 08:35, 8 June 2023 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
Go over the copy with a fine-tooth comb for grammar and spelling errors. I need to come back to this (it's too late at night), but the article gives me an overall sloppy impression. There are sections that need it badly. There's a decent chance this gets failed.
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and
verifiable.
- a. (
reference section):
- b. (citations to
reliable sources):
- c. (
OR):
- d. (
copyvio and
plagiarism):
- a. (
reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a. (
major aspects):
- b. (
focused):
- a. (
major aspects):
- It follows the
neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by
images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a. (images are tagged and non-free content have
non-free use rationales):
- All the images are freely licensed (either PD-USGov or various flavors of CC).
- b. (
appropriate use with
suitable captions):
- a. (images are tagged and non-free content have
non-free use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/fail:
- I am going to need to see this page tidied up a bit before I am inclined to pass it for GA. The work seems doable, but you need to look at the page with fresh eyes. 7-day hold. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:44, 8 June 2023 (UTC)
- Pass/fail:
(Criteria marked
are unassessed)
Copy changes
- The lead section could bear with some expansion.
- expanded-- Found5dollar ( talk) 21:55, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- There are many places where a comma is needed to complete the appositive, set off a long introductory prepositional phrase, etc. e.g.
- The tower, built at virtually the same time as the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building was designed
- Featuring suites paneled in oak imported from Sherwood Forest the rooms...
- Before leaving office on Jan. 20, 1993 Bush... (expand January too)
- Also see
User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences.
- repaired these comma issues noted above-- Found5dollar ( talk) 21:55, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- Designer James Irving states "I consider Louis Rorimer to be the Louis Comfort Tiffany of furniture." A bit of a random quote that I think could be worked better into the prose.
- You are right it really has no bearing on the rest fo the text. I just cut the quote out.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 21:55, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- The Van Sweringen brothers built a vast and maze-like empire of real estate and railroad holdings, including the Chesapeake and Ohio Railway (C&O), out of this office and on these desks. The tone of this seems a bit...off? OR? SYNTHy?
- paired this back to The Van Sweringen brothers built a vast tangle of real estate and railroad holdings, including the Chesapeake and Ohio Railway (C&O).-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- so while the description of the desk on display matches the four desks created for the Van Sweringen's executive offices, it may be impossible to definitively state this award winning desk is the same designs as the C&O desk. is unsupported by any citation. The whole paragraph may be OR.
- This one is tricky. I spoke with an archivist at the Cleveland Museum of Art and she was fairly certain it was the same desk but there just no way to prove it through documents. I have removed the whole paragraph and moved it to the talk page where, someday, we may get enough citations for it.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- Conger explained that after this interaction he "volunteered to run a public campaign to furnish the rooms in a manner befitting America's heritage." Needs some
MOS:LOGICAL and commas around "after this interaction".
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- On May 2, 1985, the desk was moved from the Oval Office study to then-Vice President George H. W. Bush's main work space in the White House where he started using it. comma after "White House" would help
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- "nineteen year-old" needs to have an extra hyphen (three-word compound).
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- Funds were appropriated by congress why isn't this capitalized?
- Fixed-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:12, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- of the Chessie System.[8](The Chessie System was the name for the new railroad conglomerate formed when the C&O acquired the Baltimore and Ohio in 1963.)[12] A space is needed after the reference 8; this parenthetical should be worked into text better. Where a reference only applies to a parenthetical, it goes inside the parentheses. But there has to be a better way.
- Tried this new sentence structure, In 1963, the C&O acquired the Baltimore and Ohio forming a conglomerate caled the Chessie System.[2] According to a document listing objects loaned to the White House between 1969 and 1974, Hays T. Watkins of the Chessie System loaned the C&O desk to the Diplomatic Reception Rooms.[3]
- Some quotes are just too long and are causing high Earwig scores, e.g. According to a 2021 interview with Warren Finch, director of the library, by Jeff Miller for Texas Co-op Power magazine, "President Bush noted that every other presidential library had an Oval Office display, and he thought they were boring. For the library’s first 10 years, the Oval Office display didn’t exist. But eventually President Bush was overruled, and the display is one of the most popular stops for visitors."
- It seems @ GA-RT-22 tried tackling this with block quotes. does this help?-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:50, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- What's an Earwig score?
GA-RT-22 (
talk) 22:59, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- @ GA-RT-22 it is an app used to check for copyright violations and plagiarism. -- Found5dollar ( talk) 18:01, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
Spot checks
- [6] (Irving quote): Checks out. Major note: the name of the company that bought Rorimer and Brooks in 1957 is not Irving & Co. but Irvin & Co.
- OOF. Thank you for catching that.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 22:19, 9 June 2023 (UTC)
- [16] (closure of the C&O offices in 1986) checked out, though was a bit hard to get page 300 from the same source as page 299.
- [21] Mentions the note but says it was in the Resolute desk. Presumably this is an error? (A kind of understandable one, too.)
Encouragements
Not necessary for GA, but included to promote better articles.
- Add alt text to remaining images.
- Alt texts added to remaining images.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 18:08, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
- Convert references not using citation templates to use them.
Response from nominator
@ Sammi Brie,thank you for the review. I believe I have addressed all of your concerns and notes. Please see my comments above. Let me know if there is anything else you see that needs working on.-- Found5dollar ( talk) 18:11, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
- One last thing @
Found5dollar. Do you have a title for the 1988 Chesapeake & Ohio magazine article? The snippet view is insufficient for me to find it.
Sammi Brie (she/her •
t •
c) 00:47, 14 June 2023 (UTC)
- @
Sammi Brie, unfortunately I do not. I have reached out to the Chesapeake and Ohio Historical Society several times and have yet to hear back about the article title. Please let me know if there is any other issues or suggestions you have for the article.--
Found5dollar (
talk) 15:57, 17 June 2023 (UTC)
- Going to pass. Was hoping more info could be found, but alas. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 06:43, 19 June 2023 (UTC)
- @
Sammi Brie, unfortunately I do not. I have reached out to the Chesapeake and Ohio Historical Society several times and have yet to hear back about the article title. Please let me know if there is any other issues or suggestions you have for the article.--
Found5dollar (
talk) 15:57, 17 June 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.