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I will review this article. Thank you.
Ssven2 (
talk) 02:52, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Discussion
@
25 Cents FC: In general (meaning for the entire article), Remove the "INRConvert" and replace it with just INR (for example: ₹90 million (US$1.1 million) should be written as ₹ 90 million as the rates will keep changing.
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Lead
Can you try expanding it to three sections?
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the "Parinayam" reference and substitute it with another reliable source. Generally, speaking, video sources are rather inappropriate as a reliable source. Place the reference in the "Box Office" section as per
WP:LEAD as you have written about the film's DVD release there.
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Plot
Replace "Chacha" and "Chachi" with "Uncle" and "Aunt" respectively for more clarity to readers.
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"dark complexioned" can be rephrased as "dark in complexion".
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"the soft spoken, charming and well-educated young scion." can be rephrased as ", who is a soft spoken and well-educated person."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
replace "touches the heart of" with "impresses".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"fire emerges" can be rephrased as "fire breaks out".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"In this attempt Poonam gets heavily burnt." can be rephrased as "Poonam gets heavily burnt in the process."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Cast
Replace "Chacha" and "Chachi" with "Uncle" and "Aunt" respectively for more clarity to readers.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:23, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the "Mr." from Harishchandra. Just the name is enough
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:06, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Production
Remove the "once again" line from "the male lead is, once again, called Prem.". Re-write it as "the male lead is called Prem."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:08, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"Barjatya was very concerned about the music for the film. He said, since it's a lyrics oriented film, it should possess a lyrical feel." can be re-written as "Barjatya felt that the film should possess a lyrical feel, since it's a lyrics oriented film."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"He asked Sanjay Dhobade (art director) to" can be rephrased as "He asked the film's art director, Sanjay Dhobade, to".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the line "for example portions where water leaking, half down posters and spit marks on wall." and replace it with "for example portions where water leaking takes place and spit marks."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the line "Dhobade expressed his intent as it might not look visually pleasing." as the town is recreated later. Also remove "whole new", just "the town" is enough.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"have sold tickets themselves" can simply be written as "sold tickets".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Soundtrack
"and featured efficient playback singers such as Udit Narayan, Shreya Ghoshal and Suresh Wadkar." can be removed. It looks like an honorific.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"The composer has put together a soundtrack of old world charm, with a full orchestra behind some of the best known voices of the Hindi movie." looks like peacockry and sholud be removed.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Box office performance
Simply write the heading as "Box office".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"one of the most successful films of the year." can be rephrased as "a commerically succesful venture."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
References next to the line, "The film opened well", can be placed at the end of the paragraph.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
The line "which at the time was considered average-budget film by Bollywood standards" should be replaced simply with "the film"
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Reviews
Simply write it as "Critical response" instead of "Reviews".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Influence
"He announced to create an entire exhibition around her and noted her tremendous potential" can be rephrased as "He planned to create an entire exhibition around her". 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)
Find a suitable and more simpler synonym for "attendees".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"huge paandal" can be removed. Just "festive banner" is enough.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"Several movies have been highly successful in Bihar and their protagonists have been emulated by the movie goers; in Vivah's case, it became fashionable to marry like Poonam and Prem from Vivah." should be replaced with "Vivah inspired couples at that time to emulate the protagonists."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
References
Follow a single reference style. Would be better to archive them all as there are only 37. The reference style to be followed is for example like this "Kazmi, Nikhat (11 November 2006). Film review - Vivah. The Times of India. Retrieved 3 August 2014."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
I am going to place it on hold.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:17, 13 December 2014 (UTC)reply
Since the nominator has been absent from Wikipedia for 2 months, I have to fail this article. Don't feel bad,
User:25 Cents FC, you address the concerns shown in the review first, then re-nominate it after another good copyedit by sending it to the
requests page. Find some more information, especially the "Production" and "Influence" section. Be present on Wikipedia, especially when you have nominated an article for GA or FA.
Ssven2 (
talk) 06:36, 16 December 2014 (UTC)reply
I will review this article. Thanks. —
Ssven2Speak 2 me 05:24, 31 March 2015 (UTC)reply
References
Some refs say the dates like "10 November 2006" for example and some are written as "Nov 1, 2006". Change those having "Nov 1, 2006" format to "10 November 2006" format.
Reference nos 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 16, 19, 32 — No dates there. (You haven't mentioned when the articles were published). Ex Masand's article was published on 16 February 2008, which you have mentioned. Mention the publication dates for the references I have posted. I have demonstrated for reference number 8. Do the same for the others I have mentioned here in the GAR. —
Ssven2Speak 2 me 06:42, 31 March 2015 (UTC)reply
Standardise all references having Rediff as Rediff.com. (Rediff.com is a website, hence it should not be italicised. Make sure while you are changing all Rediff references to Rediff.com, don't italicise them. The reference nos are 3, 7, 12 and 18.)
Remove the italics from reference numbers 1, 2, 6, 16, 17, 18, 19 and 35 in addition to the Rediff references.
"Kapoor's performance earned him nomination for Best Actor while Rao received Best Actress nomination at the Screen Awards." — Where's the source for this? Add one please.
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This article is within the scope of WikiProject Albums, an attempt at building a useful resource on recordings from a variety of genres. If you would like to participate, visit the
project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the
discussion.AlbumsWikipedia:WikiProject AlbumsTemplate:WikiProject AlbumsAlbum articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject India, which aims to improve Wikipedia's coverage of
India-related topics. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page.IndiaWikipedia:WikiProject IndiaTemplate:WikiProject IndiaIndia articles
I will review this article. Thank you.
Ssven2 (
talk) 02:52, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Discussion
@
25 Cents FC: In general (meaning for the entire article), Remove the "INRConvert" and replace it with just INR (for example: ₹90 million (US$1.1 million) should be written as ₹ 90 million as the rates will keep changing.
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Lead
Can you try expanding it to three sections?
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the "Parinayam" reference and substitute it with another reliable source. Generally, speaking, video sources are rather inappropriate as a reliable source. Place the reference in the "Box Office" section as per
WP:LEAD as you have written about the film's DVD release there.
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Plot
Replace "Chacha" and "Chachi" with "Uncle" and "Aunt" respectively for more clarity to readers.
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"dark complexioned" can be rephrased as "dark in complexion".
Ssven2 (
talk) 03:17, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"the soft spoken, charming and well-educated young scion." can be rephrased as ", who is a soft spoken and well-educated person."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
replace "touches the heart of" with "impresses".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"fire emerges" can be rephrased as "fire breaks out".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"In this attempt Poonam gets heavily burnt." can be rephrased as "Poonam gets heavily burnt in the process."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:02, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Cast
Replace "Chacha" and "Chachi" with "Uncle" and "Aunt" respectively for more clarity to readers.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:23, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the "Mr." from Harishchandra. Just the name is enough
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:06, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Production
Remove the "once again" line from "the male lead is, once again, called Prem.". Re-write it as "the male lead is called Prem."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:08, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"Barjatya was very concerned about the music for the film. He said, since it's a lyrics oriented film, it should possess a lyrical feel." can be re-written as "Barjatya felt that the film should possess a lyrical feel, since it's a lyrics oriented film."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"He asked Sanjay Dhobade (art director) to" can be rephrased as "He asked the film's art director, Sanjay Dhobade, to".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the line "for example portions where water leaking, half down posters and spit marks on wall." and replace it with "for example portions where water leaking takes place and spit marks."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Remove the line "Dhobade expressed his intent as it might not look visually pleasing." as the town is recreated later. Also remove "whole new", just "the town" is enough.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"have sold tickets themselves" can simply be written as "sold tickets".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:22, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Soundtrack
"and featured efficient playback singers such as Udit Narayan, Shreya Ghoshal and Suresh Wadkar." can be removed. It looks like an honorific.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"The composer has put together a soundtrack of old world charm, with a full orchestra behind some of the best known voices of the Hindi movie." looks like peacockry and sholud be removed.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Box office performance
Simply write the heading as "Box office".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"one of the most successful films of the year." can be rephrased as "a commerically succesful venture."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
References next to the line, "The film opened well", can be placed at the end of the paragraph.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
The line "which at the time was considered average-budget film by Bollywood standards" should be replaced simply with "the film"
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Reviews
Simply write it as "Critical response" instead of "Reviews".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Influence
"He announced to create an entire exhibition around her and noted her tremendous potential" can be rephrased as "He planned to create an entire exhibition around her". 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)
Find a suitable and more simpler synonym for "attendees".
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"huge paandal" can be removed. Just "festive banner" is enough.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
"Several movies have been highly successful in Bihar and their protagonists have been emulated by the movie goers; in Vivah's case, it became fashionable to marry like Poonam and Prem from Vivah." should be replaced with "Vivah inspired couples at that time to emulate the protagonists."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
References
Follow a single reference style. Would be better to archive them all as there are only 37. The reference style to be followed is for example like this "Kazmi, Nikhat (11 November 2006). Film review - Vivah. The Times of India. Retrieved 3 August 2014."
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:42, 29 November 2014 (UTC)reply
I am going to place it on hold.
Ssven2 (
talk) 04:17, 13 December 2014 (UTC)reply
Since the nominator has been absent from Wikipedia for 2 months, I have to fail this article. Don't feel bad,
User:25 Cents FC, you address the concerns shown in the review first, then re-nominate it after another good copyedit by sending it to the
requests page. Find some more information, especially the "Production" and "Influence" section. Be present on Wikipedia, especially when you have nominated an article for GA or FA.
Ssven2 (
talk) 06:36, 16 December 2014 (UTC)reply
I will review this article. Thanks. —
Ssven2Speak 2 me 05:24, 31 March 2015 (UTC)reply
References
Some refs say the dates like "10 November 2006" for example and some are written as "Nov 1, 2006". Change those having "Nov 1, 2006" format to "10 November 2006" format.
Reference nos 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 16, 19, 32 — No dates there. (You haven't mentioned when the articles were published). Ex Masand's article was published on 16 February 2008, which you have mentioned. Mention the publication dates for the references I have posted. I have demonstrated for reference number 8. Do the same for the others I have mentioned here in the GAR. —
Ssven2Speak 2 me 06:42, 31 March 2015 (UTC)reply
Standardise all references having Rediff as Rediff.com. (Rediff.com is a website, hence it should not be italicised. Make sure while you are changing all Rediff references to Rediff.com, don't italicise them. The reference nos are 3, 7, 12 and 18.)
Remove the italics from reference numbers 1, 2, 6, 16, 17, 18, 19 and 35 in addition to the Rediff references.
"Kapoor's performance earned him nomination for Best Actor while Rao received Best Actress nomination at the Screen Awards." — Where's the source for this? Add one please.
I have just modified one external link on
Vivah. Please take a moment to review
my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit
this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{
Sourcecheck}}).
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).
If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with
this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with
this tool.