Surround (video game) has been listed as one of the
Video games good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: July 10, 2024. ( Reviewed version). |
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Nominator: Andrzejbanas ( talk · contribs) 14:41, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: KwanFlakes ( talk · contribs) 09:19, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
Picking up and beginning this review. Thank you
Andrzejbanas, for improving and expanding this article. Since I am still new to GA reviewing an experienced reviewer will also be taking a look. I'll have some initial comments in the next 24 hours.
Overall a well-written article and one that shouldn't need too much work to get it over the line. Room for improvement with regard to grammatical and contextual issues are noted below, split by section. There was also one issue found with the references. This article has been placed on a 7-day hold to allow time for these improvements to occur.
The reference to Blockade in the first paragraph causes the rest of the paragraph to read like a description for that game, not necessarily Surround itself. As the similarities between the games are noted in the next paragraph, removing this reference or rewording the paragraph could be considered (though I'd personally go for removal).
“Video Graffiti” is described as being a single mode here and in the Development section, but as two modes in other parts of the article.
The second paragraph here reads quite clunky, especially with the sentence beginning “The final two modes are…”
being sandwiched between “Other modes allow for…”
and “A final feature offers…”
.
Music Operators of America was given the acronym MOA in the lead, so probably doesn’t need to be reproduced again here. Consider either replacing “Music Operators of America (MOA)” with “MOA” or removing the “(MOA)” both here and in the lead.
“Video Graffiti” is described as being a single mode here and in the lead section, but as two modes in other parts of the article.
Is there a particular reason the review box doesn’t include all reviews mentioned in the article?
The reviews by Video mention “the first 12 variations of the game”
. Keeping with the rest of the article, “modes” or “game modes” may be more fitting and reduce confusion for a general audience.
Following from the above, the total number of variations/modes is not listed or clear either here or elsewhere, and references to specific game modes (particularly the reference to “mode six”) lack meaning and context. It could be worth defining all game modes somewhere, or perhaps going into more detail here about the specific variety of gameplay that mode 6 offers. I notice the "game select matrix" on page 4 of the game manual — could that be worth reproducing as a table somewhere?
The final sentence in the first paragraph (beginning "David H. Ahl found…”
) likely needs to be broken up or reworded for clarity.
The portion of the final sentence of this section “saying its unique gameplay to the system”
could be reworded to increase the clarity of the sentence, which is at present confusing.
The book Atari Archive: Vol.1 1977-1978 by Kevin Bunch appears to have been published in 2023, but is listed as being published in 2022.
Surround (video game) has been listed as one of the
Video games good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: July 10, 2024. ( Reviewed version). |
This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | ||||||||||||||||||||||
|
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Nominator: Andrzejbanas ( talk · contribs) 14:41, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: KwanFlakes ( talk · contribs) 09:19, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
Picking up and beginning this review. Thank you
Andrzejbanas, for improving and expanding this article. Since I am still new to GA reviewing an experienced reviewer will also be taking a look. I'll have some initial comments in the next 24 hours.
Overall a well-written article and one that shouldn't need too much work to get it over the line. Room for improvement with regard to grammatical and contextual issues are noted below, split by section. There was also one issue found with the references. This article has been placed on a 7-day hold to allow time for these improvements to occur.
The reference to Blockade in the first paragraph causes the rest of the paragraph to read like a description for that game, not necessarily Surround itself. As the similarities between the games are noted in the next paragraph, removing this reference or rewording the paragraph could be considered (though I'd personally go for removal).
“Video Graffiti” is described as being a single mode here and in the Development section, but as two modes in other parts of the article.
The second paragraph here reads quite clunky, especially with the sentence beginning “The final two modes are…”
being sandwiched between “Other modes allow for…”
and “A final feature offers…”
.
Music Operators of America was given the acronym MOA in the lead, so probably doesn’t need to be reproduced again here. Consider either replacing “Music Operators of America (MOA)” with “MOA” or removing the “(MOA)” both here and in the lead.
“Video Graffiti” is described as being a single mode here and in the lead section, but as two modes in other parts of the article.
Is there a particular reason the review box doesn’t include all reviews mentioned in the article?
The reviews by Video mention “the first 12 variations of the game”
. Keeping with the rest of the article, “modes” or “game modes” may be more fitting and reduce confusion for a general audience.
Following from the above, the total number of variations/modes is not listed or clear either here or elsewhere, and references to specific game modes (particularly the reference to “mode six”) lack meaning and context. It could be worth defining all game modes somewhere, or perhaps going into more detail here about the specific variety of gameplay that mode 6 offers. I notice the "game select matrix" on page 4 of the game manual — could that be worth reproducing as a table somewhere?
The final sentence in the first paragraph (beginning "David H. Ahl found…”
) likely needs to be broken up or reworded for clarity.
The portion of the final sentence of this section “saying its unique gameplay to the system”
could be reworded to increase the clarity of the sentence, which is at present confusing.
The book Atari Archive: Vol.1 1977-1978 by Kevin Bunch appears to have been published in 2023, but is listed as being published in 2022.