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Shinola (retail company) article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
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![]() | On 13 May 2018, it was proposed that this article be moved from Shinola to Shinola Detroit. The result of the discussion was moved. |
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@ Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your help above. I'd like to submit another request for this same "Made in America marketing" section, which is starting to look better but remains highly problematic. I'd like to propose a significant trim to the paragraph about the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). Currently, only the first sentence is sourced. The rest of the paragraph is unsourced and poorly written.
This content was added by an unregistered editor back in 2018. I propose reducing this paragraph down to just the first sentence, or even removing the paragraph altogether because the "History" section already says, "Shinola's tagline was "Where American is Made", but that was abandoned after the Federal Trade Commission requested changes in certain marketing and labeling practices."
I am hoping User:Heartmusic678 and others can remove the text on my behalf. Thank you! JS at Shinola ( talk) 17:49, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@
Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your assistance and for updating the article. If you're willing to continue helping, I'd like to submit another request for the "Criticism" section. The
"Gentrification controversy" subsection, same as the "Made in America marketing" subsection, is based on commentary by Madrock and Moy. I understand editors will decide how much detail to include here, but I'd like to at least identify some redundant text: Done
Also, I'd like to point out the presence of multiple sentences which present individual opinions as well-accepted summaries:
Can these be removed so that the text is simply conveying what Madrok and Moy have written, instead of presenting these "summaries" by "some people" as well-established facts? Finally, I propose removing "controversy" from the heading name "Gentrification controversy". This section is criticism, sure, but there's no controversy being described. I will let editors decide if the headings are even necessary, since the two sections share similar sentiment and commentary by the same people. Thanks again to User:Heartmusic678 and others for reviewing my requests. JS at Shinola ( talk) 21:32, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@ Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your continued assistance, especially with addressing issues with the article's more sensitive content.
I've identified a couple inaccuracies within the "Watches" section:
References
Thanks again for reviewing my requests to correct this article. JS at Shinola ( talk) 22:12, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@ Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your assistance above! This article is looking much better and I appreciate your willingness to review proposed changes. With all of these edits to the article body now complete, I'd like to suggest some updates to the introduction as well. Specifically, I propose:
I propose replacing the current introduction with the following:
References
The article body already verifies that Tom Kartsotis founded the company, which is owned by Bedrock. The citations are not needed but Caramanica's New York Times piece is used later in the article so I think the citation just needs to be moved down. My goal with this request is to correct and update wording based on above requests, and mirror the infobox. Thanks again for reviewing! JS at Shinola ( talk) 21:10, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
This is the
talk page for discussing improvements to the
Shinola (retail company) article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google ( books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
Archives:
1Auto-archiving period: 90 days
![]() |
![]() | This article is rated Start-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
![]() | On 13 May 2018, it was proposed that this article be moved from Shinola to Shinola Detroit. The result of the discussion was moved. |
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@ Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your help above. I'd like to submit another request for this same "Made in America marketing" section, which is starting to look better but remains highly problematic. I'd like to propose a significant trim to the paragraph about the Federal Trade Commission (FTC). Currently, only the first sentence is sourced. The rest of the paragraph is unsourced and poorly written.
This content was added by an unregistered editor back in 2018. I propose reducing this paragraph down to just the first sentence, or even removing the paragraph altogether because the "History" section already says, "Shinola's tagline was "Where American is Made", but that was abandoned after the Federal Trade Commission requested changes in certain marketing and labeling practices."
I am hoping User:Heartmusic678 and others can remove the text on my behalf. Thank you! JS at Shinola ( talk) 17:49, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@
Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your assistance and for updating the article. If you're willing to continue helping, I'd like to submit another request for the "Criticism" section. The
"Gentrification controversy" subsection, same as the "Made in America marketing" subsection, is based on commentary by Madrock and Moy. I understand editors will decide how much detail to include here, but I'd like to at least identify some redundant text: Done
Also, I'd like to point out the presence of multiple sentences which present individual opinions as well-accepted summaries:
Can these be removed so that the text is simply conveying what Madrok and Moy have written, instead of presenting these "summaries" by "some people" as well-established facts? Finally, I propose removing "controversy" from the heading name "Gentrification controversy". This section is criticism, sure, but there's no controversy being described. I will let editors decide if the headings are even necessary, since the two sections share similar sentiment and commentary by the same people. Thanks again to User:Heartmusic678 and others for reviewing my requests. JS at Shinola ( talk) 21:32, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@ Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your continued assistance, especially with addressing issues with the article's more sensitive content.
I've identified a couple inaccuracies within the "Watches" section:
References
Thanks again for reviewing my requests to correct this article. JS at Shinola ( talk) 22:12, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
@ Heartmusic678: Thanks again for your assistance above! This article is looking much better and I appreciate your willingness to review proposed changes. With all of these edits to the article body now complete, I'd like to suggest some updates to the introduction as well. Specifically, I propose:
I propose replacing the current introduction with the following:
References
The article body already verifies that Tom Kartsotis founded the company, which is owned by Bedrock. The citations are not needed but Caramanica's New York Times piece is used later in the article so I think the citation just needs to be moved down. My goal with this request is to correct and update wording based on above requests, and mirror the infobox. Thanks again for reviewing! JS at Shinola ( talk) 21:10, 9 March 2022 (UTC)