Why is there a quote mark at the end of Instead of carrying around the typical teddy bear or worn-down baby blanket when he was young, he carried a book of baseball stats with him all the time, like a security blanket."?
The injuries he suffered in 2004 suggests the reader has been told about the injuries before, but it doesn't seem to be mentioned elsewhere
It is mentioned in the preceding section that covers his college years ("Diving for a ball in the outfield in his second-to-last game in college, he broke his shoulder, tore his torn labrum, and partially tore his rotator cuff"), but I've also now smoothed out the text.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
00:17, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Three headers without any content between them looks quite odd
I believe this follows an accepted format on baseball articles (Major leagues/team/year, with entries made under the "year" sections; I've worked on a few baseball GAs that use that format).
The rest of the first paragraph under 2007 needs referencing
As an aside, would you be able to do a source check on this article? The main contributor has a copyright investigation open so I want to make sure the article's clean. It should be, but can't hurt to check.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear18:06, 1 March 2011 (UTC)reply
My 2¢ It's a well written comprehensive article overall. I previously raised a question about the use of quotes, though. Quotes relating to his overcoming the obstacles of diabetes and his small stature are okay, but I wonder about the usefulness of quotes like "He's fearless", a quote box for a random nickname that doesn't seem important, and the comments by Santo, Piniella and Hendry. Of course Hendry and Piniella will speak highly of their own player. How useful do we all think these quotes are? –
Muboshgu (
talk)
14:30, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Piniella, certainly, will not necessarily speak highly of his player. But if the comment is just "I think he is a good ballplayer" -- then it is worthless. If it identifies what distinguishes him, then it is of value, as different ballplayers bring different attributes to the table, and what their management views as their notable attributes is of note, and not always discernible in statistics and the like. BTW -- one thing that we should add in is the
Dick Fuld connection.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
14:38, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
You're right that Piniella can be a critical guy, and these comments may distinguish Fuld from another player, but I felt I should raise the comment. Also, I noticed a piece of odd prose on closer inspection so in the next day or so I'll give it a more thorough sweep. What's the Dick Fuld connection? –
Muboshgu (
talk)
15:13, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
No worries. Second cousins, I believe ... I read somewhere. When I have a chance, I'll look for the ref and toss it in, unless you beat me to it. [I've now updated the article w/the fact and supporting ref]. Interesting family -- his Mom has an article, his Dad might well qualify for one, and his second cousin is a major (and highly controversial) personality in the world of finance. Reminds me of
Larry Summers in that sense, who also has a highly notable extended family.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
15:18, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
I've trimmed; deleted some quotes and other text entirely (as they are less notable now than they were at the time they were added), and moving some quote boxes into text.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
03:18, 9 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Comments as of 4/3/11
It's good to see that progress is being made. There are still a few points that need to be addressed. Most notably, the lead is still too short to be a real summary and we still have a lot of short paragraphs as well as the quotes I mentioned above. We also have the matter of the link farm, which is still far too long—most should be incorporated into references or removed—and dead links. It's getting there, but there's a way to go yet.
HJ Mitchell |
Penny for your thoughts? 03:26, 4 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Why is there a quote mark at the end of Instead of carrying around the typical teddy bear or worn-down baby blanket when he was young, he carried a book of baseball stats with him all the time, like a security blanket."?
The injuries he suffered in 2004 suggests the reader has been told about the injuries before, but it doesn't seem to be mentioned elsewhere
It is mentioned in the preceding section that covers his college years ("Diving for a ball in the outfield in his second-to-last game in college, he broke his shoulder, tore his torn labrum, and partially tore his rotator cuff"), but I've also now smoothed out the text.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
00:17, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Three headers without any content between them looks quite odd
I believe this follows an accepted format on baseball articles (Major leagues/team/year, with entries made under the "year" sections; I've worked on a few baseball GAs that use that format).
The rest of the first paragraph under 2007 needs referencing
As an aside, would you be able to do a source check on this article? The main contributor has a copyright investigation open so I want to make sure the article's clean. It should be, but can't hurt to check.
WizardmanOperation Big Bear18:06, 1 March 2011 (UTC)reply
My 2¢ It's a well written comprehensive article overall. I previously raised a question about the use of quotes, though. Quotes relating to his overcoming the obstacles of diabetes and his small stature are okay, but I wonder about the usefulness of quotes like "He's fearless", a quote box for a random nickname that doesn't seem important, and the comments by Santo, Piniella and Hendry. Of course Hendry and Piniella will speak highly of their own player. How useful do we all think these quotes are? –
Muboshgu (
talk)
14:30, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Piniella, certainly, will not necessarily speak highly of his player. But if the comment is just "I think he is a good ballplayer" -- then it is worthless. If it identifies what distinguishes him, then it is of value, as different ballplayers bring different attributes to the table, and what their management views as their notable attributes is of note, and not always discernible in statistics and the like. BTW -- one thing that we should add in is the
Dick Fuld connection.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
14:38, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
You're right that Piniella can be a critical guy, and these comments may distinguish Fuld from another player, but I felt I should raise the comment. Also, I noticed a piece of odd prose on closer inspection so in the next day or so I'll give it a more thorough sweep. What's the Dick Fuld connection? –
Muboshgu (
talk)
15:13, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
No worries. Second cousins, I believe ... I read somewhere. When I have a chance, I'll look for the ref and toss it in, unless you beat me to it. [I've now updated the article w/the fact and supporting ref]. Interesting family -- his Mom has an article, his Dad might well qualify for one, and his second cousin is a major (and highly controversial) personality in the world of finance. Reminds me of
Larry Summers in that sense, who also has a highly notable extended family.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
15:18, 3 March 2011 (UTC)reply
I've trimmed; deleted some quotes and other text entirely (as they are less notable now than they were at the time they were added), and moving some quote boxes into text.--
Epeefleche (
talk)
03:18, 9 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Comments as of 4/3/11
It's good to see that progress is being made. There are still a few points that need to be addressed. Most notably, the lead is still too short to be a real summary and we still have a lot of short paragraphs as well as the quotes I mentioned above. We also have the matter of the link farm, which is still far too long—most should be incorporated into references or removed—and dead links. It's getting there, but there's a way to go yet.
HJ Mitchell |
Penny for your thoughts? 03:26, 4 March 2011 (UTC)reply