The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Monique Luiz, star of the famous 1964 political advertisement Daisy, did not see it for herself until 2000?
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"starring in the Daisy advertisement, the incumbent president Lyndon B. Johnson's famous re-election campaign ad" not keen on seeing advertisement and ad in the same sentence. Would "starring in the Daisy advertisement, part of the incumbent president Lyndon B. Johnson's re-election campaign." (I also dropped "famous" because that's not required here in an encyclopedia. Same applies to the mention of this in the main body.
Done, though various reliable sources call "Daisy" a 'famous' or 'most famous' ad. –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk) 03:24, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
In general, I see the words ad, advertisement, commercial etc almost every sentence. I think it could use shaking up a little so it's not so repetitive.
I don't even understand the relevance of "Doyle Dane Bernbach"?
Removed. Though DDB has been credited for creating the Daisy ad (along with Tony Schwartz) –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk) 03:24, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
@
The Rambling Man – I have tried to address all your concerns. Please let me know if anything else needs to be addressed. Thanks! –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk) 07:51, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Monique Luiz, star of the famous 1964 political advertisement Daisy, did not see it for herself until 2000?
This article must adhere to the biographies of living persons (BLP) policy, even if it is not a biography, because it contains material about living persons. Contentious material about living persons that is unsourced or
poorly sourcedmust be removed immediately from the article and its talk page, especially if potentially
libellous. If such material is repeatedly inserted, or if you have other concerns, please report the issue to
this noticeboard.If you are a subject of this article, or acting on behalf of one, and you need help, please see this help page.
This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following
WikiProjects:
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
join the project and
contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Marketing & Advertising, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Marketing on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Marketing & AdvertisingWikipedia:WikiProject Marketing & AdvertisingTemplate:WikiProject Marketing & AdvertisingMarketing & Advertising articles
This article is part of WikiProject New Jersey, an effort to create, expand, and improve
New Jersey–related articles to
Wikipedia feature-quality standard. Please join in the
discussion.New JerseyWikipedia:WikiProject New JerseyTemplate:WikiProject New JerseyNew Jersey articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject United States, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of topics relating to the
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GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
"starring in the Daisy advertisement, the incumbent president Lyndon B. Johnson's famous re-election campaign ad" not keen on seeing advertisement and ad in the same sentence. Would "starring in the Daisy advertisement, part of the incumbent president Lyndon B. Johnson's re-election campaign." (I also dropped "famous" because that's not required here in an encyclopedia. Same applies to the mention of this in the main body.
Done, though various reliable sources call "Daisy" a 'famous' or 'most famous' ad. –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk) 03:24, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
In general, I see the words ad, advertisement, commercial etc almost every sentence. I think it could use shaking up a little so it's not so repetitive.
I don't even understand the relevance of "Doyle Dane Bernbach"?
Removed. Though DDB has been credited for creating the Daisy ad (along with Tony Schwartz) –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk) 03:24, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
@
The Rambling Man – I have tried to address all your concerns. Please let me know if anything else needs to be addressed. Thanks! –
Kavyansh.Singh (
talk) 07:51, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.