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I am really sorry, but I have been caught up in my semester exams won't be able to put up comments for a couple of days . I'll try take a look before the weekend ends. NumerounovedantTalk23:27, 18 May 2017 (UTC)reply
I am not sure if it's an improvement, but i really think that incase of both the roela and actors being discussed in the lead, i prefer if tge actors appear alongside their roles and the description to make things more clear. The current version somehow feels broken, and i think the other version would do a better job introducing both the characers and the actors.
Not sure if the "X befriends Y and does A" structure works best. These are unrelated events and putting them together might not be the best choice.
Randor Guy states, "Miss Malini made gentle fun of the many aspects of life in Madras during the Second World War years (1939-1945) — shortage of commodities, high prices, social mores, high fashion living and preferences".
"Miss Malini marked Narayan's earliest use of story elements that would recur in some of his later novels." - I am curious, what elements? Maybe a word of two?
It might not be best choice in the following sentence, although the previous sentence talks about "elements" in plural, it'll be better if you simply say that "The film was adopted...".
I'd rather have the years of the both the Hindi and Tamil adaptations be mentioned in the same fashion.
The 1972 Tamil film is titled Mr. Sampat, sharing its name with the 1952 Hindi film. I did not want to use one name twice in the same sentence. What would you suggest? Kailash29792(talk)03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)reply
"she and Kala Mandhiram become prosperous" - Can you think of a better way of putting this?
You might want to make better use of conjunctions in the sentence with the being put of the work and setting up a new company bits.
"Sampath installs himself as general manager" - appoints?
"but its resources are soon squandered by Sampath and it fails under a weight of debt and disgrace." - fails under?
De-italicise "Kala Mandhiram".
All plot details are
over here. Please use this to conduct a source review, and suggest how I can reword accordingly. — Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Kailash29792 (
talk •
contribs)
"It was also the only time he wrote a screenplay for a film that was released." - You could say that "It is the only screenplay written by Narayan that was successfully adapted into a feature film", as commands a better cause-effect relationship.
I don't know, I feel that piping their birth names is better choice here as 1. They lead to the same page, and 2. The birth names occur before the stage names (that's what I assume they are) in the sentence. NumerounovedantTalk06:00, 23 May 2017 (UTC)reply
Kailash, just let me know how you feel about some of the remaining comments, and then we can move forward. Meanwhile, I'll think of some suggestions wherever you requested. NumerounovedantTalk06:24, 26 May 2017 (UTC)reply
Reception
I am not too sure about the opening sentence, the transition from intellectuals to critics is rather awkward.
the critics sentence is backed by
this source which says, "Critics and crowds consider his portrayal of the suave villain perhaps the best for such a character in Tamil and even Indian cinema."
This source is for the intellectuals part. Kailash29792(talk)04:38, 31 May 2017 (UTC)reply
You might want to rework the section here to avoid list-like progression. Try incorporating quotes more naturally into text, arranging the reviews thematically may help as well.
This article is within the scope of WikiProject India, which aims to improve Wikipedia's coverage of
India-related topics. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page.IndiaWikipedia:WikiProject IndiaTemplate:WikiProject IndiaIndia articles
This article was
copy edited by
Twofingered Typist, a member of the Guild of Copy Editors, on 16 May 2017.Guild of Copy EditorsWikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsTemplate:WikiProject Guild of Copy EditorsGuild of Copy Editors articles
I am really sorry, but I have been caught up in my semester exams won't be able to put up comments for a couple of days . I'll try take a look before the weekend ends. NumerounovedantTalk23:27, 18 May 2017 (UTC)reply
I am not sure if it's an improvement, but i really think that incase of both the roela and actors being discussed in the lead, i prefer if tge actors appear alongside their roles and the description to make things more clear. The current version somehow feels broken, and i think the other version would do a better job introducing both the characers and the actors.
Not sure if the "X befriends Y and does A" structure works best. These are unrelated events and putting them together might not be the best choice.
Randor Guy states, "Miss Malini made gentle fun of the many aspects of life in Madras during the Second World War years (1939-1945) — shortage of commodities, high prices, social mores, high fashion living and preferences".
"Miss Malini marked Narayan's earliest use of story elements that would recur in some of his later novels." - I am curious, what elements? Maybe a word of two?
It might not be best choice in the following sentence, although the previous sentence talks about "elements" in plural, it'll be better if you simply say that "The film was adopted...".
I'd rather have the years of the both the Hindi and Tamil adaptations be mentioned in the same fashion.
The 1972 Tamil film is titled Mr. Sampat, sharing its name with the 1952 Hindi film. I did not want to use one name twice in the same sentence. What would you suggest? Kailash29792(talk)03:38, 23 May 2017 (UTC)reply
"she and Kala Mandhiram become prosperous" - Can you think of a better way of putting this?
You might want to make better use of conjunctions in the sentence with the being put of the work and setting up a new company bits.
"Sampath installs himself as general manager" - appoints?
"but its resources are soon squandered by Sampath and it fails under a weight of debt and disgrace." - fails under?
De-italicise "Kala Mandhiram".
All plot details are
over here. Please use this to conduct a source review, and suggest how I can reword accordingly. — Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Kailash29792 (
talk •
contribs)
"It was also the only time he wrote a screenplay for a film that was released." - You could say that "It is the only screenplay written by Narayan that was successfully adapted into a feature film", as commands a better cause-effect relationship.
I don't know, I feel that piping their birth names is better choice here as 1. They lead to the same page, and 2. The birth names occur before the stage names (that's what I assume they are) in the sentence. NumerounovedantTalk06:00, 23 May 2017 (UTC)reply
Kailash, just let me know how you feel about some of the remaining comments, and then we can move forward. Meanwhile, I'll think of some suggestions wherever you requested. NumerounovedantTalk06:24, 26 May 2017 (UTC)reply
Reception
I am not too sure about the opening sentence, the transition from intellectuals to critics is rather awkward.
the critics sentence is backed by
this source which says, "Critics and crowds consider his portrayal of the suave villain perhaps the best for such a character in Tamil and even Indian cinema."
This source is for the intellectuals part. Kailash29792(talk)04:38, 31 May 2017 (UTC)reply
You might want to rework the section here to avoid list-like progression. Try incorporating quotes more naturally into text, arranging the reviews thematically may help as well.