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As was said about the political section, that much more can be said about the military section that is not even three sentences long. Furthermore, it has had an expansion tag for a considerable period of time, with no expansion by other members. -- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 13:12, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
Links to be used for section revamp:
The above links will be used as I continue to revamp this section-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 23:54, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
Links to be used for section revamp, World War II:
-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 13:21, 4 September 2009 (UTC)
Additional reference links:
-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 06:59, 4 October 2009 (UTC)
Perhaps there should be a section that specifies unit and individual recognition of Asian Americans in Military Service? Perhaps there should be a section about Asian American POWs, there are many interesting stories that perhaps are notable to mention such as 1 2 3 4 5 6 -- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 21:34, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
In the peer review it was suggested that the lead be expanded. Therefore, I propose that the lead be rewritten as follows:
Opinions, suggestions, critiques?-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 19:53, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: Khazar2 ( talk · contribs) 23:53, 3 February 2013 (UTC)
I'll be glad to take this review. In the next few days, I'll do a close readthrough, noting any issues here that I can't easily fix myself, and then go to the criteria checklist. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 ( talk) 23:53, 3 February 2013 (UTC)
I won't be able to make it through the full article tonight, so here's some preliminary comments on the early sections. I hope to finish tomorrow. So far this article looks good in terms of completeness and depth of research, and I'm learning a lot reading it. So far my biggest concerns are with clarity in the prose. I've done some copyediting myself as I've gone along for both grammatical and stylistic reasons. Please double-check me to make sure I haven't inadvertently added any new errors, and please revert any changes you disagree with.
Starting a new section since most of the above is addressed, but see the note about quotas.
Though this article is developing well in many respects, it still seems to me far from meeting criterion 1a (clear and concise prose). I skipped ahead in the article to look at a fresh paragraph as an example. [5] The sort of persistent minor errors here included hyphenation (all-Nisei is a compound adjective), tense (" the two Nisei units combine"), redundancy ("combine together"), capitalization ("White officers"), and an unneeded article ("including the liberation of the Dachau"). The phrase "including the liberation of the Dachau concentration camp" should also be clarified--it's not clear what this is being "included" in. (The problem may be the intervening phrase "leading it to be one of the most decorated units in the European Theater"; perhaps this could be broken off into a separate sentence?) As a side note, the section also has a sourcing/minor POV issue in praising the "huge contribution" of the Military Intelligence Service while sourcing to a site that appears to be by veterans of the service (you might consider attributing this opinion in-text). I'm also concerned that a newsletter of the Japanese American Veterans Association might not meet Wikipedia standards for reliable sources--we don't know its standards for fact-checking, and it's not impartial, which are two warning signs. I should emphasize that none of these are a big deal in themselves, and I feel a little petty even mentioning some of the above; the problem is simply the persistence of the issues.
What I'd recommend is submitting this article to Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors and getting a close edit before resubmitting; that should take care of the biggest issue here, which is the grammar and occasional odd syntax. You might also check in at Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history to see if anyone there would be interested in helping. Less urgently, I'd suggest adding in some of the social context I mentioned above. Though I'm not listing it at this time, I think you've surely got enough for a Good Article here, and that this is well on its way--I'm very grateful for your work on it! -- Khazar2 ( talk) 17:33, 4 February 2013 (UTC)
A very minor issue, but should this use US instead of European date style per WP:STRONGNAT? -- Khazar2 ( talk) 21:08, 4 February 2013 (UTC)
Something about Kurt Chew-Een Lee should be in the article. Binksternet ( talk) 16:12, 5 February 2013 (UTC)
I have opened up a discussion at WP:RSN#Japanese American Veterans Association.-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 03:28, 6 February 2013 (UTC)
I noticed that White has been de-capitalized again. However, it is short for White American. Generally, if Black American (more commonly African American) were used, and shortened to Black, it would remain capital; correct? Same goes that Asian is kept capitalized. Please help me understand if I am in the wrong.-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 04:50, 22 February 2013 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: North8000 ( talk · contribs) 14:33, 11 June 2013 (UTC)
I'm starting a review of this article. North8000 ( talk) 14:33, 11 June 2013 (UTC)
I ran into various small items but was able to tweak them myself. North8000 ( talk) 00:31, 25 June 2013 (UTC)
Well-written
Factually accurate and verifiable
Broad in its coverage
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute
Illustrated, if possible, by images
This has passed as a Wikipedia Good Article. Congratulations! What an immense about of interesting material has been included in this article! North8000 ( talk) 00:36, 25 June 2013 (UTC) Reviewer
(I have "duplicated" this here for when the review is no longer transcluded.)
This has passed as a Wikipedia Good Article. Congratulations! What an immense about of interesting material has been included in this article! North8000 ( talk) 00:40, 25 June 2013 (UTC)Reviewer
Is this article written just about Asian Americans? The article mentions Pacific Islanders but does speak about them distinctively apart from the term Asian and Pacific Islanders.-- KAVEBEAR ( talk) 06:44, 5 August 2014 (UTC)
Interestingly the Mexican-American War is not mentioned in this article. Was there simply no known Asian American combatants in this war?-- KAVEBEAR ( talk) 03:39, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
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@ Narky Blert: please revert yourself. As can be seen from the source, it does not specify target. So to specify a specific target, it would be original research on our part.-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 06:09, 10 June 2017 (UTC)
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This is the
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Military history of Asian Americans article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google ( books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
![]() | Military history of Asian Americans has been listed as one of the Warfare good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. | |||||||||||||||||||||
|
![]() | This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
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![]() | This subarticle is kept separate from the main article, Asian American, due to size or style considerations. |
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As was said about the political section, that much more can be said about the military section that is not even three sentences long. Furthermore, it has had an expansion tag for a considerable period of time, with no expansion by other members. -- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 13:12, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
Links to be used for section revamp:
The above links will be used as I continue to revamp this section-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 23:54, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
Links to be used for section revamp, World War II:
-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 13:21, 4 September 2009 (UTC)
Additional reference links:
-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 06:59, 4 October 2009 (UTC)
Perhaps there should be a section that specifies unit and individual recognition of Asian Americans in Military Service? Perhaps there should be a section about Asian American POWs, there are many interesting stories that perhaps are notable to mention such as 1 2 3 4 5 6 -- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 21:34, 14 January 2011 (UTC)
In the peer review it was suggested that the lead be expanded. Therefore, I propose that the lead be rewritten as follows:
Opinions, suggestions, critiques?-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 19:53, 7 July 2012 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Reviewer: Khazar2 ( talk · contribs) 23:53, 3 February 2013 (UTC)
I'll be glad to take this review. In the next few days, I'll do a close readthrough, noting any issues here that I can't easily fix myself, and then go to the criteria checklist. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 ( talk) 23:53, 3 February 2013 (UTC)
I won't be able to make it through the full article tonight, so here's some preliminary comments on the early sections. I hope to finish tomorrow. So far this article looks good in terms of completeness and depth of research, and I'm learning a lot reading it. So far my biggest concerns are with clarity in the prose. I've done some copyediting myself as I've gone along for both grammatical and stylistic reasons. Please double-check me to make sure I haven't inadvertently added any new errors, and please revert any changes you disagree with.
Starting a new section since most of the above is addressed, but see the note about quotas.
Though this article is developing well in many respects, it still seems to me far from meeting criterion 1a (clear and concise prose). I skipped ahead in the article to look at a fresh paragraph as an example. [5] The sort of persistent minor errors here included hyphenation (all-Nisei is a compound adjective), tense (" the two Nisei units combine"), redundancy ("combine together"), capitalization ("White officers"), and an unneeded article ("including the liberation of the Dachau"). The phrase "including the liberation of the Dachau concentration camp" should also be clarified--it's not clear what this is being "included" in. (The problem may be the intervening phrase "leading it to be one of the most decorated units in the European Theater"; perhaps this could be broken off into a separate sentence?) As a side note, the section also has a sourcing/minor POV issue in praising the "huge contribution" of the Military Intelligence Service while sourcing to a site that appears to be by veterans of the service (you might consider attributing this opinion in-text). I'm also concerned that a newsletter of the Japanese American Veterans Association might not meet Wikipedia standards for reliable sources--we don't know its standards for fact-checking, and it's not impartial, which are two warning signs. I should emphasize that none of these are a big deal in themselves, and I feel a little petty even mentioning some of the above; the problem is simply the persistence of the issues.
What I'd recommend is submitting this article to Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors and getting a close edit before resubmitting; that should take care of the biggest issue here, which is the grammar and occasional odd syntax. You might also check in at Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history to see if anyone there would be interested in helping. Less urgently, I'd suggest adding in some of the social context I mentioned above. Though I'm not listing it at this time, I think you've surely got enough for a Good Article here, and that this is well on its way--I'm very grateful for your work on it! -- Khazar2 ( talk) 17:33, 4 February 2013 (UTC)
A very minor issue, but should this use US instead of European date style per WP:STRONGNAT? -- Khazar2 ( talk) 21:08, 4 February 2013 (UTC)
Something about Kurt Chew-Een Lee should be in the article. Binksternet ( talk) 16:12, 5 February 2013 (UTC)
I have opened up a discussion at WP:RSN#Japanese American Veterans Association.-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 03:28, 6 February 2013 (UTC)
I noticed that White has been de-capitalized again. However, it is short for White American. Generally, if Black American (more commonly African American) were used, and shortened to Black, it would remain capital; correct? Same goes that Asian is kept capitalized. Please help me understand if I am in the wrong.-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 04:50, 22 February 2013 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Reviewer: North8000 ( talk · contribs) 14:33, 11 June 2013 (UTC)
I'm starting a review of this article. North8000 ( talk) 14:33, 11 June 2013 (UTC)
I ran into various small items but was able to tweak them myself. North8000 ( talk) 00:31, 25 June 2013 (UTC)
Well-written
Factually accurate and verifiable
Broad in its coverage
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute
Illustrated, if possible, by images
This has passed as a Wikipedia Good Article. Congratulations! What an immense about of interesting material has been included in this article! North8000 ( talk) 00:36, 25 June 2013 (UTC) Reviewer
(I have "duplicated" this here for when the review is no longer transcluded.)
This has passed as a Wikipedia Good Article. Congratulations! What an immense about of interesting material has been included in this article! North8000 ( talk) 00:40, 25 June 2013 (UTC)Reviewer
Is this article written just about Asian Americans? The article mentions Pacific Islanders but does speak about them distinctively apart from the term Asian and Pacific Islanders.-- KAVEBEAR ( talk) 06:44, 5 August 2014 (UTC)
Interestingly the Mexican-American War is not mentioned in this article. Was there simply no known Asian American combatants in this war?-- KAVEBEAR ( talk) 03:39, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
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@ Narky Blert: please revert yourself. As can be seen from the source, it does not specify target. So to specify a specific target, it would be original research on our part.-- RightCowLeftCoast ( talk) 06:09, 10 June 2017 (UTC)
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