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Luna Park (Coney Island, 1903) article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
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![]() | Luna Park (Coney Island, 1903) has been listed as one of the
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good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: August 15, 2023. ( Reviewed version). |
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![]() | A fact from Luna Park (Coney Island, 1903) appeared on Wikipedia's
Main Page in the
Did you know column on 4 February 2023 (
check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
| ![]() |
The panoramic I removed is of Dreamland. Luna was north of Surf Avenue and several blocks to the west (left) of Dreamland. -- Cecropia 16:31, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
I have un-merging what seems to have been an un-discussed unilateral merger [1] of the articles Luna Park, Coney Island and Luna Park, Coney Island (2010) that should never have been merged. Two separate parks that have the same name do not go in the same article, "In Wikipedia, things are grouped into articles based on what they are, not what they are called by." WP:NAD. Fountains of Bryn Mawr ( talk) 16:03, 28 March 2015 (UTC)
I propose adding the 1906 map from the LOC collection of Sanborn Fire Insurance maps.
- DutchTreat ( talk) 13:43, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
The result was: promoted by
Cielquiparle (
talk)
09:01, 25 January 2023 (UTC)
5x expanded by Epicgenius ( talk). Self-nominated at 19:47, 14 January 2023 (UTC).
General: Article is new enough and long enough |
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Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems |
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Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation |
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Image: Image is freely licensed, used in the article, and clear at 100px. |
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QPQ: - Not done
Overall:
@
Epicgenius: good article. Just waiting on a QPQ.
Onegreatjoke (
talk)
16:59, 16 January 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: Adog ( talk · contribs) 05:08, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
In the spirit of GAN reviewing streak to keep myself busy with a new job, I will complete this review likely by Saturday, August 12. I will probably start on Friday, August 11. I look forward to reading about another amusement park. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 05:08, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
Hello once again, Epicgenius. You know the drill from me. Feel free to push back on anything that is not appropriate or improper:
the other were Steeplechase Park ..."other" to "others".
Luna Park opened on May 16, 1903, and it was highly profitable ..."it" can be removed.
Thompson then operated the park alone until 1912 ..."then" can be omitted.
The park's western half ...
Although some rides on Surf Avenue continued to operate after 1944, much of the site remained closed for several years; the entire site was redeveloped as the Luna Park Houses between 1958 and 1962.The second instance of site could be "area" or "place" to avoid repetition.
Background
In 1901, Frederic Thompson and Elmer "Skip" Dundy had created a wildly successful ride, called "A Trip To The Moon", as part of the Pan-American Exposition at Buffalo, New York."had" can be omitted. Same with commas after "ride" and "Moon".
Thompson and Dundy opted to establish their own amusement park at the end of the season, following a disagreement with Tilyou.This comma could also be removed.
As part of the deal, they leased some land from Frederick Kister and a strip of land on West 12th Street for 25 years. If not, disregard it.
Construction and opening
The Brooklyn Daily Eagle initially estimated that Thompson and Dundy would spend $200,000 on renovating ..."on" can be omitted.
Ultimately, the men spent $700,000 (although they advertised it as $1 million) totally rebuilding ...Comma before "totally"?
Topsy the elephant, which Boyton had bought that season to add to the menagerie of animals at Sea Lion Park, was involved in demolishing some of the old rides.
... Thompson and Dundy announced they were going to hang Topsy ..."were going to" to "would".
... Thompson and Dundy agreed to more a ..."more a" to "a more".
Thompson and Dundy ultimately electrocuted Topsy, then killed her using cyanide, in January 1903.Remove the comma after "cyanide"?
Thompson and Dundy planned to add new rides including ...Comma after "including"?
... Leo Wyent and George M. Foley sued to prevent Thompson and Dundy from issuing a concession that would allow a third party ..."that would allow" to "allowing"?
1900s
Thompson and Dundy also added several shows, including "Night and Morning", as well as ..."as well as" to "and".
... the sale did not affect Thompson and Dundy's lease of the site.Possibly remove "of the site"?
Luna Park added several shows ahead of the 1906 season, as well as ..."as well as" to "and".
The Brooklyn Daily Eagle said that Dundy's death ...consider removing "that".
Nonetheless, Thompson continued to make improvements to the park ..."make improvement to" to "improve"?
1910s
Prior to the 1917 season, the Luna Park ..."Prior to" to "Before" to reduce repetition?
During the 1918 season, Luna Park's managers added several attractions pertaining to ..."pertaining to" to "about"?
1930s
Luna Park was largely closed during 1934 ..."largely closed" to "closed mainly"?
The park had gone into receivership the prior month, when the Prudence Bonds Corporation ...remove the comma?
Early 1940s
Checkpointing so I can clean the house. More to come! Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 19:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
Fire and aftermath
The western half of the park was completely destroyed ..."completely" may be redundant here.
Even prior to the fire ..."before" could sound better than "prior to" here.
... which amounted to $152,000 and was paid to Prudence Bonds."was" could be removed.
... the park was awarded to the Danziger brothers for $135,000or something of the like?
Demolition and redevelopment
Several minor fires further damaged the park.
... when Karl Klarnet took over operationThe word "operation" should either be "the operation" or "operations".
Entrance and main court
The arched entrance on Surf Avenue was described as ...The who factor may apply here, who described the arched entrance?
... as well as a replica of the Piazza San Marco.This "replica" could be changed to "a representation" or "a model" for repetition.
Shows, exhibits, and other facilities
Two park attendants mainted each show.
Luna Park contained a Rath House, a German-style meeting hall which could accommodate ..."which could" to "that could"?
The park also contained the Grand Casino, along the Court of Honor.Possible missing word, "with" should be inserted before "the"?
Critical reception
Luna Park's electric tower had inspired the construction ...I would remove "had".
Namesake
The original Luna Park site contains a cooperative apartment complex called Luna Park Houses, which was completed in 1962."which was" may be redundant.
Sea Lion Park had several centerpiece rides, but the bad 1902 season ...may need further clarity. I assume the 1902 bad season was related to bad attendance. If so, I would specify or for another reason why it was bad.
Dundy was charged with raising capital for the project ...to "entrust". An initial read of the sentence might infer the other if not attentive.
The lagoon and the Shoot-the-Chutes attraction ...unless the hyphens indicate a specific named attraction rather than the general manufactured attraction.
Fred Trump acquired the park's eastern half ...
... New York City Subway's Coney Island–Stillwell Avenue station. [203].
In an organized publicity stunt, Thompson and Dundy announced they were going to hang Topsy and sell tickets to the event.is supported by this source. The article mainly talks about the circumstances of, and leading up to, the elephant being executed. It does not really mention the public spectacle it was. Though, from Topsy's own Wiki-article, I think this source or this one already in the article could be subbed in.
The article's topics are both broad enough and focused. No complaints, lots of great detail that is not too much or goes off-topic. The article's content is neutral and fair towards these subjects. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 23:02, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
@ Epicgenius: Spot checks are mostly all good and my review should finish up here. The article was another good read. The hot streak on the Coney Island amusement parks, kinda like the video series...anyways. The only problems are minor prose and close paraphrasing from the article's earlier iterations that need to be double-checked and rephrased. Other than that, all good. I will put this on hold after 48 hours. No rush! Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 03:24, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
The article's images are relevant to the content and are properly licensed (one of them is a FA-image, nice). The article is stable. There are reverts only to vandalism, with nothing actively disputed in the article's contents. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 20:47, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
This is the
talk page for discussing improvements to the
Luna Park (Coney Island, 1903) article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google ( books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
![]() | Luna Park (Coney Island, 1903) has been listed as one of the
Sports and recreation good articles under the
good article criteria. If you can improve it further,
please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can
reassess it. Review: August 15, 2023. ( Reviewed version). |
![]() | This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
![]() | A fact from Luna Park (Coney Island, 1903) appeared on Wikipedia's
Main Page in the
Did you know column on 4 February 2023 (
check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
| ![]() |
The panoramic I removed is of Dreamland. Luna was north of Surf Avenue and several blocks to the west (left) of Dreamland. -- Cecropia 16:31, 4 February 2007 (UTC)
I have un-merging what seems to have been an un-discussed unilateral merger [1] of the articles Luna Park, Coney Island and Luna Park, Coney Island (2010) that should never have been merged. Two separate parks that have the same name do not go in the same article, "In Wikipedia, things are grouped into articles based on what they are, not what they are called by." WP:NAD. Fountains of Bryn Mawr ( talk) 16:03, 28 March 2015 (UTC)
I propose adding the 1906 map from the LOC collection of Sanborn Fire Insurance maps.
- DutchTreat ( talk) 13:43, 21 July 2021 (UTC)
The result was: promoted by
Cielquiparle (
talk)
09:01, 25 January 2023 (UTC)
5x expanded by Epicgenius ( talk). Self-nominated at 19:47, 14 January 2023 (UTC).
General: Article is new enough and long enough |
---|
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems |
---|
|
Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation |
---|
|
Image: Image is freely licensed, used in the article, and clear at 100px. |
---|
|
QPQ: - Not done
Overall:
@
Epicgenius: good article. Just waiting on a QPQ.
Onegreatjoke (
talk)
16:59, 16 January 2023 (UTC)
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Reviewer: Adog ( talk · contribs) 05:08, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
In the spirit of GAN reviewing streak to keep myself busy with a new job, I will complete this review likely by Saturday, August 12. I will probably start on Friday, August 11. I look forward to reading about another amusement park. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 05:08, 10 August 2023 (UTC)
Hello once again, Epicgenius. You know the drill from me. Feel free to push back on anything that is not appropriate or improper:
the other were Steeplechase Park ..."other" to "others".
Luna Park opened on May 16, 1903, and it was highly profitable ..."it" can be removed.
Thompson then operated the park alone until 1912 ..."then" can be omitted.
The park's western half ...
Although some rides on Surf Avenue continued to operate after 1944, much of the site remained closed for several years; the entire site was redeveloped as the Luna Park Houses between 1958 and 1962.The second instance of site could be "area" or "place" to avoid repetition.
Background
In 1901, Frederic Thompson and Elmer "Skip" Dundy had created a wildly successful ride, called "A Trip To The Moon", as part of the Pan-American Exposition at Buffalo, New York."had" can be omitted. Same with commas after "ride" and "Moon".
Thompson and Dundy opted to establish their own amusement park at the end of the season, following a disagreement with Tilyou.This comma could also be removed.
As part of the deal, they leased some land from Frederick Kister and a strip of land on West 12th Street for 25 years. If not, disregard it.
Construction and opening
The Brooklyn Daily Eagle initially estimated that Thompson and Dundy would spend $200,000 on renovating ..."on" can be omitted.
Ultimately, the men spent $700,000 (although they advertised it as $1 million) totally rebuilding ...Comma before "totally"?
Topsy the elephant, which Boyton had bought that season to add to the menagerie of animals at Sea Lion Park, was involved in demolishing some of the old rides.
... Thompson and Dundy announced they were going to hang Topsy ..."were going to" to "would".
... Thompson and Dundy agreed to more a ..."more a" to "a more".
Thompson and Dundy ultimately electrocuted Topsy, then killed her using cyanide, in January 1903.Remove the comma after "cyanide"?
Thompson and Dundy planned to add new rides including ...Comma after "including"?
... Leo Wyent and George M. Foley sued to prevent Thompson and Dundy from issuing a concession that would allow a third party ..."that would allow" to "allowing"?
1900s
Thompson and Dundy also added several shows, including "Night and Morning", as well as ..."as well as" to "and".
... the sale did not affect Thompson and Dundy's lease of the site.Possibly remove "of the site"?
Luna Park added several shows ahead of the 1906 season, as well as ..."as well as" to "and".
The Brooklyn Daily Eagle said that Dundy's death ...consider removing "that".
Nonetheless, Thompson continued to make improvements to the park ..."make improvement to" to "improve"?
1910s
Prior to the 1917 season, the Luna Park ..."Prior to" to "Before" to reduce repetition?
During the 1918 season, Luna Park's managers added several attractions pertaining to ..."pertaining to" to "about"?
1930s
Luna Park was largely closed during 1934 ..."largely closed" to "closed mainly"?
The park had gone into receivership the prior month, when the Prudence Bonds Corporation ...remove the comma?
Early 1940s
Checkpointing so I can clean the house. More to come! Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 19:08, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
Fire and aftermath
The western half of the park was completely destroyed ..."completely" may be redundant here.
Even prior to the fire ..."before" could sound better than "prior to" here.
... which amounted to $152,000 and was paid to Prudence Bonds."was" could be removed.
... the park was awarded to the Danziger brothers for $135,000or something of the like?
Demolition and redevelopment
Several minor fires further damaged the park.
... when Karl Klarnet took over operationThe word "operation" should either be "the operation" or "operations".
Entrance and main court
The arched entrance on Surf Avenue was described as ...The who factor may apply here, who described the arched entrance?
... as well as a replica of the Piazza San Marco.This "replica" could be changed to "a representation" or "a model" for repetition.
Shows, exhibits, and other facilities
Two park attendants mainted each show.
Luna Park contained a Rath House, a German-style meeting hall which could accommodate ..."which could" to "that could"?
The park also contained the Grand Casino, along the Court of Honor.Possible missing word, "with" should be inserted before "the"?
Critical reception
Luna Park's electric tower had inspired the construction ...I would remove "had".
Namesake
The original Luna Park site contains a cooperative apartment complex called Luna Park Houses, which was completed in 1962."which was" may be redundant.
Sea Lion Park had several centerpiece rides, but the bad 1902 season ...may need further clarity. I assume the 1902 bad season was related to bad attendance. If so, I would specify or for another reason why it was bad.
Dundy was charged with raising capital for the project ...to "entrust". An initial read of the sentence might infer the other if not attentive.
The lagoon and the Shoot-the-Chutes attraction ...unless the hyphens indicate a specific named attraction rather than the general manufactured attraction.
Fred Trump acquired the park's eastern half ...
... New York City Subway's Coney Island–Stillwell Avenue station. [203].
In an organized publicity stunt, Thompson and Dundy announced they were going to hang Topsy and sell tickets to the event.is supported by this source. The article mainly talks about the circumstances of, and leading up to, the elephant being executed. It does not really mention the public spectacle it was. Though, from Topsy's own Wiki-article, I think this source or this one already in the article could be subbed in.
The article's topics are both broad enough and focused. No complaints, lots of great detail that is not too much or goes off-topic. The article's content is neutral and fair towards these subjects. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 23:02, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
@ Epicgenius: Spot checks are mostly all good and my review should finish up here. The article was another good read. The hot streak on the Coney Island amusement parks, kinda like the video series...anyways. The only problems are minor prose and close paraphrasing from the article's earlier iterations that need to be double-checked and rephrased. Other than that, all good. I will put this on hold after 48 hours. No rush! Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 03:24, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
The article's images are relevant to the content and are properly licensed (one of them is a FA-image, nice). The article is stable. There are reverts only to vandalism, with nothing actively disputed in the article's contents. Adog ( Talk・ Cont) 20:47, 12 August 2023 (UTC)