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Hello,
Personally, it’s great to have one more article to edit, but this page is lacking content. All it has is a short background section, a release history, and a top. I feel like this article doesn’t meet Wikipedia notability standards. I am thinking of blanking the page and redirecting it to
The Album (Blackpink album). It just doesn’t make sense to have a very short article with three sources! If anyone wants to expand, I’m fine with that. Thanks!
Doggy54321 (
talk)
10:48, 28 September 2020 (UTC)reply
Mention in the first sentence that it was recorded for their debut studio album, The Album (2020); re-word the later sentence to simply mentioning its release date as the album's third single with labels
"It was written by" shouldn't this be written and composed per the body's wording and are commas not used before "and" in lists for Japanese English? Also, move the writing/production before release info in the lead.
The production is not directly mentioned in prose in the body, which needs to be for writing in the lead
""Lovesick Girls" is a" → "It is a"
"from
EDM. Its lyrics explore" → "from
EDM and
punk rock, with lyrics exploring" with the wikilink
"received praise from music critics" should have the pipe from music critics to
Music journalism, however is "widespread acclaim" possible to be noted here since these reviews are glowing looking at the level of praise?
"Commercially, "Lovesick Girls" peaked at" → "Commercially, the song peaked at"
"It received platinum certifications in streaming" → "The song received platinum certifications in streaming from both" mentioning the names of the certification bodies, doing this for Australia gold certification too
"Its accompanying music video," → "An accompanying
music video," with the wikilink and the director needs to be sourced in the body
Keep the sixth biggest debut fact on YouTube but remove the 61.4 million views from lead, as this is too much detail for here
Add a sentence about what happens in the video
Mention what year the music performances were
Done
Background and release
Should it be mentioned that the teasers were for The Album per the source?
"on September 28." → "on September 27." per the source's year
"concept teaser" where is this part mentioned by the sources?
"The next day," → "On September 29, 2020,"
"on October 2, serving" → "on October 2, 2020, serving" per this being a new para
The song is with, not featuring, Selena Gomez
"which was released in" → "which were released in"
"as "heartfelt anthem" → "as "a heartfelt anthem" and add the name of the author
Use the name of Sue Ng instead of Young Post and the author should not be italicized
[22] should be invoked after the quotation sentence too
Done
Critical reception
Identify as music critics and going back to what I mentioned in the lead about the summary, these reviews are highly positive so maybe widespread acclaim would be suited here?
"with a fresh aesthetic."" → "with a fresh aesthetic"." per
MOS:QUOTE
"smash hit" → "2019 hit single" since the former does not have neutrality
I am not sure if BuzzFeed should be used here per
WP:BUZZFEED and if you can justify, mention the reviewer's name and also cite what she said makes the song a masterpiece like the vocals for instance
Like above, mention that Zwick did praise their vocals
"Kat Moon from Time agreed," → "Moon from Time agreed," per this reviewer having been introduced previously
"of 'As If It's Your Last'", which" → "of 'As If It's Your Last'" in 2017, which"
Add the name of the Dazed reviewer
"and highlighted how" → "and highlighting how"
Mention the name of DJ from the CNN Philippines source and this should not be italicized
"years to come."" → "years to come"."
Done
Accolades
Are you sure there should not be a comma before the "and" that follows Music Bank?
I appreciate most of the first para is a summary of the later information sourced, however since the Inkigayo sentence mentions the "triple crown" you should add a reference there
Pipe Gaon Chart Music Awards to
Circle Chart Music Awards, also my translation is showing this award as song of the year?
Done
Commercial performance
Remove the second week in the top 10 per
WP:CHARTTRAJ
Add a ref for the weeks on Global Excl. US too since this chart is not on the Global 200 history
"In the United States, "Lovesick Girls" debuted" → "In the US, "Lovesick Girls" debuted" per
MOS:US
"On September 30, the group" → "On September 30, 2020, the group"
"18 hours after its release." → "18 hours after release."
"It garnered 61.4 million views in its first 24 hours, making it" → "The visual garnered 61.4 million views in its first 24 hours, becoming"
Shouldn't there be a comma before Rosé and also, the source says Cadillac not Oldsmobile
"before flashbacking to the members" → "before moving forward to the members" or something similar, per the source and the ref should be re-invoked here with the direct quoting of lyrics
"strikes them in many different ways," → "strikes them in various ways," to not copy the source exact
Not done per
Template:Screen reader-only and a discussion at
WT:ACCESS several months ago, which essentially stated that using the template is no problem.
@
Kyle Peake My apologies for the delay as I had been preoccupied with other projects at the moment. If there is anything still missing, please let me know. ɴᴋᴏɴ21❯❯❯talk17:51, 1 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Nkon21 There a few things to go over with you - the comp section should use musically and then the song's full title instead of stylistically, BuzzFeed needs to be removed unless you can justify it to me, reception should read as Moon from Time per the reviewer being previously introduced, translation for the accolade comes through as song of the year for me is yours definitely different, Global Excl. US ref needs to be cited in commercial, order of personnel is not clear for composers or lyricist being first, is 100 million streaming certification figure for both SK and Japan, and refs 56-58 need to use refnames for those countries from the charts table. Great work though; I've even done some copy editing for you! --
K. Peake07:51, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
1) deleted Buzzfeed 2) The Gaon Awards is confusing as the official title of the category is "Artist of the Year in Digital Music - Month" or what not; simplified that part in accolades 3) Global Ex. US is already sourced in ref 42 4) alphabetized credits and personnel 5) The song was certified platinum in both SoKor and Japan, meaning that it surpassed 100m streams in both countries. Done with the rest, thanks for the ce! ɴᴋᴏɴ21❯❯❯talk21:28, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
✓Pass now, great work and I removed the weeks on Global Excl. US since that is something not sourced even though the peak position is backed up. --
K. Peake07:42, 3 May 2024 (UTC)reply
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Songs, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
songs on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.SongsWikipedia:WikiProject SongsTemplate:WikiProject Songssong articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Korea, a collaborative effort to build and improve articles related to Korea. All interested editors are invited to
join the project and contribute to the
discussion. For instructions on how use this banner, please refer to the
documentation.KoreaWikipedia:WikiProject KoreaTemplate:WikiProject KoreaKorea-related articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women in Music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
Women in music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Women in MusicWikipedia:WikiProject Women in MusicTemplate:WikiProject Women in MusicWomen in music articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Pop music, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of articles related to
pop music on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Pop musicWikipedia:WikiProject Pop musicTemplate:WikiProject Pop musicPop music articles
Hello,
Personally, it’s great to have one more article to edit, but this page is lacking content. All it has is a short background section, a release history, and a top. I feel like this article doesn’t meet Wikipedia notability standards. I am thinking of blanking the page and redirecting it to
The Album (Blackpink album). It just doesn’t make sense to have a very short article with three sources! If anyone wants to expand, I’m fine with that. Thanks!
Doggy54321 (
talk)
10:48, 28 September 2020 (UTC)reply
Mention in the first sentence that it was recorded for their debut studio album, The Album (2020); re-word the later sentence to simply mentioning its release date as the album's third single with labels
"It was written by" shouldn't this be written and composed per the body's wording and are commas not used before "and" in lists for Japanese English? Also, move the writing/production before release info in the lead.
The production is not directly mentioned in prose in the body, which needs to be for writing in the lead
""Lovesick Girls" is a" → "It is a"
"from
EDM. Its lyrics explore" → "from
EDM and
punk rock, with lyrics exploring" with the wikilink
"received praise from music critics" should have the pipe from music critics to
Music journalism, however is "widespread acclaim" possible to be noted here since these reviews are glowing looking at the level of praise?
"Commercially, "Lovesick Girls" peaked at" → "Commercially, the song peaked at"
"It received platinum certifications in streaming" → "The song received platinum certifications in streaming from both" mentioning the names of the certification bodies, doing this for Australia gold certification too
"Its accompanying music video," → "An accompanying
music video," with the wikilink and the director needs to be sourced in the body
Keep the sixth biggest debut fact on YouTube but remove the 61.4 million views from lead, as this is too much detail for here
Add a sentence about what happens in the video
Mention what year the music performances were
Done
Background and release
Should it be mentioned that the teasers were for The Album per the source?
"on September 28." → "on September 27." per the source's year
"concept teaser" where is this part mentioned by the sources?
"The next day," → "On September 29, 2020,"
"on October 2, serving" → "on October 2, 2020, serving" per this being a new para
The song is with, not featuring, Selena Gomez
"which was released in" → "which were released in"
"as "heartfelt anthem" → "as "a heartfelt anthem" and add the name of the author
Use the name of Sue Ng instead of Young Post and the author should not be italicized
[22] should be invoked after the quotation sentence too
Done
Critical reception
Identify as music critics and going back to what I mentioned in the lead about the summary, these reviews are highly positive so maybe widespread acclaim would be suited here?
"with a fresh aesthetic."" → "with a fresh aesthetic"." per
MOS:QUOTE
"smash hit" → "2019 hit single" since the former does not have neutrality
I am not sure if BuzzFeed should be used here per
WP:BUZZFEED and if you can justify, mention the reviewer's name and also cite what she said makes the song a masterpiece like the vocals for instance
Like above, mention that Zwick did praise their vocals
"Kat Moon from Time agreed," → "Moon from Time agreed," per this reviewer having been introduced previously
"of 'As If It's Your Last'", which" → "of 'As If It's Your Last'" in 2017, which"
Add the name of the Dazed reviewer
"and highlighted how" → "and highlighting how"
Mention the name of DJ from the CNN Philippines source and this should not be italicized
"years to come."" → "years to come"."
Done
Accolades
Are you sure there should not be a comma before the "and" that follows Music Bank?
I appreciate most of the first para is a summary of the later information sourced, however since the Inkigayo sentence mentions the "triple crown" you should add a reference there
Pipe Gaon Chart Music Awards to
Circle Chart Music Awards, also my translation is showing this award as song of the year?
Done
Commercial performance
Remove the second week in the top 10 per
WP:CHARTTRAJ
Add a ref for the weeks on Global Excl. US too since this chart is not on the Global 200 history
"In the United States, "Lovesick Girls" debuted" → "In the US, "Lovesick Girls" debuted" per
MOS:US
"On September 30, the group" → "On September 30, 2020, the group"
"18 hours after its release." → "18 hours after release."
"It garnered 61.4 million views in its first 24 hours, making it" → "The visual garnered 61.4 million views in its first 24 hours, becoming"
Shouldn't there be a comma before Rosé and also, the source says Cadillac not Oldsmobile
"before flashbacking to the members" → "before moving forward to the members" or something similar, per the source and the ref should be re-invoked here with the direct quoting of lyrics
"strikes them in many different ways," → "strikes them in various ways," to not copy the source exact
Not done per
Template:Screen reader-only and a discussion at
WT:ACCESS several months ago, which essentially stated that using the template is no problem.
@
Kyle Peake My apologies for the delay as I had been preoccupied with other projects at the moment. If there is anything still missing, please let me know. ɴᴋᴏɴ21❯❯❯talk17:51, 1 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Nkon21 There a few things to go over with you - the comp section should use musically and then the song's full title instead of stylistically, BuzzFeed needs to be removed unless you can justify it to me, reception should read as Moon from Time per the reviewer being previously introduced, translation for the accolade comes through as song of the year for me is yours definitely different, Global Excl. US ref needs to be cited in commercial, order of personnel is not clear for composers or lyricist being first, is 100 million streaming certification figure for both SK and Japan, and refs 56-58 need to use refnames for those countries from the charts table. Great work though; I've even done some copy editing for you! --
K. Peake07:51, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
1) deleted Buzzfeed 2) The Gaon Awards is confusing as the official title of the category is "Artist of the Year in Digital Music - Month" or what not; simplified that part in accolades 3) Global Ex. US is already sourced in ref 42 4) alphabetized credits and personnel 5) The song was certified platinum in both SoKor and Japan, meaning that it surpassed 100m streams in both countries. Done with the rest, thanks for the ce! ɴᴋᴏɴ21❯❯❯talk21:28, 2 May 2024 (UTC)reply
✓Pass now, great work and I removed the weeks on Global Excl. US since that is something not sourced even though the peak position is backed up. --
K. Peake07:42, 3 May 2024 (UTC)reply