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Regards, G.A.S talk 05:20, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Per your request to respond here after the recently archived FLC, here are some more comments.
The episode summaries still need some work. Copyediting and break up some long sentences e.g.
There a quite a few more examples
Other things.
With regard to the reference issue I raised at FLC, the guideline says to use these with other sources – "confirm these with a second source". So standing on their own they are still unreliable. I'm fine with them being used as WP:NONENG, but this should accompany another reliable source. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 23:07, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
Since yesterday, I have been editing the article by request. I am grateful for the barnstar that was awarded me. I would also like to make that I am enjoying helping with this article, despite anything I have written below.
Here, I would like to bring to your attention that the current article contains confusing points that can only be explained by the authors/editors, probably only by Japanese speakers. From the perspective of language science, there is an intellectual delight in the contrast between the very high grammatical sophistication of the English used, on the one hand, and the unfortunate word choices and a certain lack of common sense in the composition, on the other hand. By the latter, I'm referring to the fact that certain plot points need to be explained, but the article's editors have not realized the need for the explanations.
To begin with, somebody needs to explain the significance of the word "popotan". Either it is a meaningless word invented by the protagonists for their amusement, or it is a genuine Japanese word. (You didn't even mention its origin in tanpopo — I'm the one who added that information, which I had to seek out. I navigated to the Japanese Wikipedia article. But I would not have achieved the insight if I had not remembered seeing the move "Tampopo" 20 years ago! Somewhere in that movie, or else in some reviews of the movie, the meaning of the word "tampopo" was explained for the non-Japanese viewers.) Either way, non-Japanese would have no idea, and therefore right from the beginning they miss some of the meaning of this story. If popotan is an invented word, what is its significance? Is it pure childish nonsense, or is there something meaningful to a Japanese about that sequence of three syllables?
In later episodes, there is a character whose name is spelled two ways in this article, Shizuku and Shizaku. Only a fan of this anime, or else someone who reads Japanese (and hence can perform research) could know which is correct.
For the description of episode 1, I changed the phrase, "Daichi, a young boy, meets the three sisters, Ai, Mai, Mii and thier maid, Mea, traveling in the mansion". It now looks like my change was incorrect. The editors seem not to realize that if you read this description and you are unfamiliar with the anime, you would not even imagine that there is a building which is flying through space and time like an airplane. To a native speaker of English like me, this wording has two possible likely interpretations: (1) people traveled TO the mansion, and arrived there; (2) the action in the episodes unfolds as the protagonists MOVE ABOUT WITHIN the mansion — in which case "travel" is a mistaken word. Only when I proceeded to edit Episodes 7-12 did I realize the supernatural behavior that takes place in this anime. You need to explicitly give this information.
For episode 5, it was written, "At the end of the episode Mai and Mea return to a hot springs claiming to be increase bust size". The 'be' doesn't belong. Now, my understanding, judging from the illustration, is that these girls are only about 7 or 8 years old. Why would they be eager to "return to a hot springs claiming to increase bust size"? You should add a mention of how old these girls are.
For episode 6, I simply deleted the following sentence: "After determining that the reason for the unusual circumstances for their jump was that Mai was still close by from a flower". There are two problems with it. First, the mention that some "jump" took place comes out of nowhere — no one would know what you're referring to. Second, the sequence "close by from" is nonsense. "Close by something" makes sense, so does "from something". "Close by a flower" is incorrect English, but it makes sense: we would interpret it as "right next to a flower or almost right next to a flower". But no one can understand what the connection is between being next to some flower and "unusual circumstances of some jump".
For episode 8, the use of a single word, "determined", spoils an entire sentence. "Her grandfather, the Shinto priest who trains Nono, is very strict and doesn't like her practicing non-Shintoist ways, especially because earlier she had been so determined. Nono can't seem to ignore the temptations of the mansion's Christmas shop and continually goes over there until after Nono's wishes, Mii gets the girls to place Christmas decorations on the shrine." The choice of 'determined' is erroneous, but because of the set of disparate meanings of that word, it is impossible to figure out the intended meaning. "Determined" in this construction ought to mean "insists on doing something", which raises the mystery, what was she determined to do?. But apparently, the intended meaning was: "especially because earlier she had been very faithful to Shintoist ways". If this is so, then the correct word would be either 'devout' or 'dedicated': "especially because earlier she had been practicing Shintoism so devoutly". Since we are talking about religion, 'devout' is probably more apt. Moreover, I think you should explain why this Japanese girl, Nono, is celebrating Christmas. Have the Japanese people adopted this festival? Finally, the phrase "after Nono's wishes" is unintelligible because "after" and "wish" don't go together. Do you mean that Nono stated a wish to the girls, who then took action to fulfill the wish?
For episode 9, somebody wrote, "Mai, Konami's daughter, is an introverted loner because she watched her late mother wait for Mai, the middle sister, whom she considered a friend, to return." This is nonsense in English because watching your mother wait decades in vain for somebody to appear would not have the effect of making you introverted.
For episode 10: as with episode 6, you keep talking about a "jump" that the reader doesn't know about. I can't even tell whether "jump" reflects the intended meaning (whatever that is) or it is a mistaken choice of word. Dale Chock ( talk) 08:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
New from Dale.
The image File:Popotan-box-cover.png is used in this article under a claim of fair use, but it does not have an adequate explanation for why it meets the requirements for such images when used here. In particular, for each page the image is used on, it must have an explanation linking to that page which explains why it needs to be used on that page. Please check
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List of Popotan episodes is a featured list, which means it has been identified as one of the best lists produced by the Wikipedia community. If you can update or improve it, please do so. | ||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||
Current status: Featured list |
This article is rated FL-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
This article links to one or more target anchors that no longer exist.
Please help fix the broken anchors. You can remove this template after fixing the problems. |
Reporting errors |
Regards, G.A.S talk 05:20, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Per your request to respond here after the recently archived FLC, here are some more comments.
The episode summaries still need some work. Copyediting and break up some long sentences e.g.
There a quite a few more examples
Other things.
With regard to the reference issue I raised at FLC, the guideline says to use these with other sources – "confirm these with a second source". So standing on their own they are still unreliable. I'm fine with them being used as WP:NONENG, but this should accompany another reliable source. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 23:07, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
Since yesterday, I have been editing the article by request. I am grateful for the barnstar that was awarded me. I would also like to make that I am enjoying helping with this article, despite anything I have written below.
Here, I would like to bring to your attention that the current article contains confusing points that can only be explained by the authors/editors, probably only by Japanese speakers. From the perspective of language science, there is an intellectual delight in the contrast between the very high grammatical sophistication of the English used, on the one hand, and the unfortunate word choices and a certain lack of common sense in the composition, on the other hand. By the latter, I'm referring to the fact that certain plot points need to be explained, but the article's editors have not realized the need for the explanations.
To begin with, somebody needs to explain the significance of the word "popotan". Either it is a meaningless word invented by the protagonists for their amusement, or it is a genuine Japanese word. (You didn't even mention its origin in tanpopo — I'm the one who added that information, which I had to seek out. I navigated to the Japanese Wikipedia article. But I would not have achieved the insight if I had not remembered seeing the move "Tampopo" 20 years ago! Somewhere in that movie, or else in some reviews of the movie, the meaning of the word "tampopo" was explained for the non-Japanese viewers.) Either way, non-Japanese would have no idea, and therefore right from the beginning they miss some of the meaning of this story. If popotan is an invented word, what is its significance? Is it pure childish nonsense, or is there something meaningful to a Japanese about that sequence of three syllables?
In later episodes, there is a character whose name is spelled two ways in this article, Shizuku and Shizaku. Only a fan of this anime, or else someone who reads Japanese (and hence can perform research) could know which is correct.
For the description of episode 1, I changed the phrase, "Daichi, a young boy, meets the three sisters, Ai, Mai, Mii and thier maid, Mea, traveling in the mansion". It now looks like my change was incorrect. The editors seem not to realize that if you read this description and you are unfamiliar with the anime, you would not even imagine that there is a building which is flying through space and time like an airplane. To a native speaker of English like me, this wording has two possible likely interpretations: (1) people traveled TO the mansion, and arrived there; (2) the action in the episodes unfolds as the protagonists MOVE ABOUT WITHIN the mansion — in which case "travel" is a mistaken word. Only when I proceeded to edit Episodes 7-12 did I realize the supernatural behavior that takes place in this anime. You need to explicitly give this information.
For episode 5, it was written, "At the end of the episode Mai and Mea return to a hot springs claiming to be increase bust size". The 'be' doesn't belong. Now, my understanding, judging from the illustration, is that these girls are only about 7 or 8 years old. Why would they be eager to "return to a hot springs claiming to increase bust size"? You should add a mention of how old these girls are.
For episode 6, I simply deleted the following sentence: "After determining that the reason for the unusual circumstances for their jump was that Mai was still close by from a flower". There are two problems with it. First, the mention that some "jump" took place comes out of nowhere — no one would know what you're referring to. Second, the sequence "close by from" is nonsense. "Close by something" makes sense, so does "from something". "Close by a flower" is incorrect English, but it makes sense: we would interpret it as "right next to a flower or almost right next to a flower". But no one can understand what the connection is between being next to some flower and "unusual circumstances of some jump".
For episode 8, the use of a single word, "determined", spoils an entire sentence. "Her grandfather, the Shinto priest who trains Nono, is very strict and doesn't like her practicing non-Shintoist ways, especially because earlier she had been so determined. Nono can't seem to ignore the temptations of the mansion's Christmas shop and continually goes over there until after Nono's wishes, Mii gets the girls to place Christmas decorations on the shrine." The choice of 'determined' is erroneous, but because of the set of disparate meanings of that word, it is impossible to figure out the intended meaning. "Determined" in this construction ought to mean "insists on doing something", which raises the mystery, what was she determined to do?. But apparently, the intended meaning was: "especially because earlier she had been very faithful to Shintoist ways". If this is so, then the correct word would be either 'devout' or 'dedicated': "especially because earlier she had been practicing Shintoism so devoutly". Since we are talking about religion, 'devout' is probably more apt. Moreover, I think you should explain why this Japanese girl, Nono, is celebrating Christmas. Have the Japanese people adopted this festival? Finally, the phrase "after Nono's wishes" is unintelligible because "after" and "wish" don't go together. Do you mean that Nono stated a wish to the girls, who then took action to fulfill the wish?
For episode 9, somebody wrote, "Mai, Konami's daughter, is an introverted loner because she watched her late mother wait for Mai, the middle sister, whom she considered a friend, to return." This is nonsense in English because watching your mother wait decades in vain for somebody to appear would not have the effect of making you introverted.
For episode 10: as with episode 6, you keep talking about a "jump" that the reader doesn't know about. I can't even tell whether "jump" reflects the intended meaning (whatever that is) or it is a mistaken choice of word. Dale Chock ( talk) 08:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
New from Dale.
The image File:Popotan-box-cover.png is used in this article under a claim of fair use, but it does not have an adequate explanation for why it meets the requirements for such images when used here. In particular, for each page the image is used on, it must have an explanation linking to that page which explains why it needs to be used on that page. Please check
This is an automated notice by FairuseBot. For assistance on the image use policy, see Wikipedia:Media copyright questions. --21:41, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 3 external links on List of Popotan episodes. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}}
(last update: 5 June 2024).
Cheers.— InternetArchiveBot ( Report bug) 20:56, 18 June 2017 (UTC)