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Reviewer: Thine Antique Pen ( talk · contribs) 19:06, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- I will review this article. --⇒ T A P 19:06, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
Lead
- Entire
'He uses [[hashtags]]' ⇒ 'He uses [[hashtag]]s' — hashtags is a redirect.- Is there anything wrong with that? Changed anyway. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'At one point his fans accounted for three percent of all Twitter traffic' — what point in time? 'At one point' does not say much to me.- Added date. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'... make topics about him like #INDIANEEDSBELIEVETOUR #biebsinparis #JustinbieberinHolland trending' — I'd rather not have that in the lead, topics trend all the time and looks a bit messy.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
Introduction
- Paragraph 1
'...collaborations he was involved with and topping the chart' — which chart? UK, US?- Switched to indefinite article. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'His decisions regarding which followers to retweet is a random decision' — clarify please?'For a brief time in 2011, Bieber quit Twitter' — I'd like a bit more than that. What date did he quit? When did he come back?- During April 2011. Added. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'When Bieber makes a joke on Twitter about what he is doing, it often gets mistaken by people as the truth and ends up reported as true elsewhere' — the source (#13) says about a supergroup. Please explain in article.- The supergroup was just a joke, as explained in the source. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'Author Mike Skinner in "The Story of the Streets" says based on the Twitter metrics, "all roads lead to Justin Bieber"' — says ⇒ said. "The Story of the Streets" ⇒ italics needed, as it is title. However, not that notable — could be removed.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 2
'He has also tweeted about the Kony 2012 campaign' — when did he tweet that?- March and April 2012 Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'He also tweeted about the passing of Whitney Houston' — when did he tweet that?- February 2012 Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber has also tweeted against texting and driving' — when did this happen, eh?- Not while he was driving we hope. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 3
'... following back over 122,987 As of 24 April 2012 which allows fans' — As ⇒ as. Should not be capitalised.- Tricky, but done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 4
'After hitting the 6 million Twitter follower total in November 2010, Bieber gave a shout out to his followers, saying "6 MILLION OF THE GREATEST FANS ON EARTH ON TWITTER!!!! THANK U"[23] Following this news being picked up, #6millionbeliebers became a trending topic on Twitter' — only include higher ones in my sight.- 'When he passed the 11 million follower count' — when?
- '... he tweeted "#11MillionBeliebers! I LOVE YOU ALL!! THANK YOU....tonight was already a fun great night and now it is even better. THANK U THANK U THANK U' — cut quote with an ellipsis, I don't need a full tweet which is easily researchable.
'In December 2011, following Drew's dismissal from The X Factor' — Drew-who? Which X Factor? Normal? US? etc. Possibly removable.- Linked. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Quite short. Possibly could be merged into Paragraph 1.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Technology, marketing and the media
- Paragraph 1
Again; 'at one point accounted for three percent of all Twitter related traffic' — when?'This resulted in over 180 million page views for the service each month' — what is meant there? Twitter? @justinbieber? Explanation required.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'In 2010, Stephen Colbert, Drake and Justin Bieber were the three most re-tweeted celebrities on the site' — any specific time, or is this throughout the whole of 2010? Clarification required.- Tried to make this clearer. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Immediately following Bieber updating, sixty responses to him are posted a second' — when? What is meant by that? Is what is trying to be said that when he posts something, sometimes [(when?)] he gets up to 60 responses in a second. Also, sixty ⇒ 60, as it is below 10.- MOS:NUMBER: numbers greater than nine, if they are expressed in one or two words, may be rendered in numerals or in words Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'In fact, he was named the top trending star on Twitter in 2010' — I don't like the way that is worded, removing 'In fact, ' would be suitable.- Re-worded. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber fans were upset with Twitter and tried to cheat the new algorithm by getting related words and mispellings connected to Bieber to trend including the words Twieber and Jieber' — remove? I see no point in saying that they were upset, because not all of them would be. Maybe 'some' would be more applicable in this case.- "Bieber fans" is indefinite; but added "some". Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber related topics would continue to trend on Twitter,[47] including MSG-ANNIVERSARY[48][49][50] Beliebers Love Jelena,[51] and "Happy Birthday Pattie"' — remove comma before reference 47, add comma after MSG-MSG-ANNIVERSARY, remove comma after 'Beliebers Love Jelena' due to the fact that 'and' follows after it.
- Comment - the comma after Jelena is called a
serial comma and is perfectly acceptable.
Ladyof
Shalott
23:43, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- Added comma after MSG-ANNIVERSARY Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Comment - the comma after Jelena is called a
serial comma and is perfectly acceptable.
Ladyof
Shalott
23:43, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'The Bieber topic in March 2011 he trended alongside the iPad and Charlie Sheen' — doesn't make sense in my sight. Maybe replace with 'In March 2011 the Bieber topic trended alongside Charlie Sheen and the iPad'?- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 2
' Klout gives his account a score of 100' — when was the score given? What does this mean? If in past-tense should be 'gave' or something suitable like that.- Switched to past tense. (Although of course it is the present.)
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Who knows, could go down! ⇒ T A P 10:24, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Switched to past tense. (Although of course it is the present.)
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Suggestion: Lady Gaga, the top followed on twitter? 'He was ahead of ...'- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'... search results for Bieber will pull in Bieber related Tweets in a search results section called "Latest News."' — remove period from quote of "Latest News" as there is not a period in the original quote.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 3
'Bieber's tweets drive sales online' — please remove, not required, and how if not removed?- Explained in the following sentence. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber was in an advertisement for Best Buy at a time when he had around 8 million followers' — when was this 'time'?' BET' ⇒ Black Entertainment Television.- Done. 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'On the other hand ...' — would like rewording please!- Added apostrophe. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 4
'8.3% of tweets mentioning "bieber" were semi-automated and probably Twitter related spam' — when? Also, capitalise "Bieber" as it is a name.- Done. Not capitalising, as not really a name here. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 5
'His multiple tweets resulted in 32,000 responses each' — hmm, all of them?- According to the sources. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Followers and fans
- Not much to say here, so it's okay
Twitter mishaps and controversy
- Paragraph 1
'Bieber, along with other celebrities, has been the subject of the false reports of his death on Twitter,[4][122][123] including reports in 2011' — what time in 2011?- The source says "the Summer of 2011", but the MOS does not let us say that, so it stays as 2011. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 2
- Fine.
- Paragraph 3
- Fine.
- Paragraph 4
'Bieber made a tweet that said “call me now.” and included a phone number for a Texas couple' — when? I know in March 2012 it says about the legal-stuff, but when was the tweet sent?- March 2012. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 5
'The death threats occurred for over a week' — specifically how long? 'over a week' could mean years, or 8 days.- Dropped sentence. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 6
- Grand-ish, nothing major.
I'll put this on hold for now so the issues are addressed. Regards, ⇒ T A P 20:00, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- All points addressed. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks, will try to pass later. ⇒ T A P 10:24, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and
verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to
reliable sources): c (
OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the
neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by
images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have
fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with
suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have
fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
I don't want to see Twitter articles on here really, but I'll pass this one as all the points have been addressed. Regards, ⇒ T A P 10:26, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Thine Antique Pen ( talk · contribs) 19:06, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- I will review this article. --⇒ T A P 19:06, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
Lead
- Entire
'He uses [[hashtags]]' ⇒ 'He uses [[hashtag]]s' — hashtags is a redirect.- Is there anything wrong with that? Changed anyway. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'At one point his fans accounted for three percent of all Twitter traffic' — what point in time? 'At one point' does not say much to me.- Added date. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'... make topics about him like #INDIANEEDSBELIEVETOUR #biebsinparis #JustinbieberinHolland trending' — I'd rather not have that in the lead, topics trend all the time and looks a bit messy.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
Introduction
- Paragraph 1
'...collaborations he was involved with and topping the chart' — which chart? UK, US?- Switched to indefinite article. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'His decisions regarding which followers to retweet is a random decision' — clarify please?'For a brief time in 2011, Bieber quit Twitter' — I'd like a bit more than that. What date did he quit? When did he come back?- During April 2011. Added. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'When Bieber makes a joke on Twitter about what he is doing, it often gets mistaken by people as the truth and ends up reported as true elsewhere' — the source (#13) says about a supergroup. Please explain in article.- The supergroup was just a joke, as explained in the source. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'Author Mike Skinner in "The Story of the Streets" says based on the Twitter metrics, "all roads lead to Justin Bieber"' — says ⇒ said. "The Story of the Streets" ⇒ italics needed, as it is title. However, not that notable — could be removed.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 2
'He has also tweeted about the Kony 2012 campaign' — when did he tweet that?- March and April 2012 Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'He also tweeted about the passing of Whitney Houston' — when did he tweet that?- February 2012 Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber has also tweeted against texting and driving' — when did this happen, eh?- Not while he was driving we hope. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 3
'... following back over 122,987 As of 24 April 2012 which allows fans' — As ⇒ as. Should not be capitalised.- Tricky, but done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 4
'After hitting the 6 million Twitter follower total in November 2010, Bieber gave a shout out to his followers, saying "6 MILLION OF THE GREATEST FANS ON EARTH ON TWITTER!!!! THANK U"[23] Following this news being picked up, #6millionbeliebers became a trending topic on Twitter' — only include higher ones in my sight.- 'When he passed the 11 million follower count' — when?
- '... he tweeted "#11MillionBeliebers! I LOVE YOU ALL!! THANK YOU....tonight was already a fun great night and now it is even better. THANK U THANK U THANK U' — cut quote with an ellipsis, I don't need a full tweet which is easily researchable.
'In December 2011, following Drew's dismissal from The X Factor' — Drew-who? Which X Factor? Normal? US? etc. Possibly removable.- Linked. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Quite short. Possibly could be merged into Paragraph 1.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Technology, marketing and the media
- Paragraph 1
Again; 'at one point accounted for three percent of all Twitter related traffic' — when?'This resulted in over 180 million page views for the service each month' — what is meant there? Twitter? @justinbieber? Explanation required.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'In 2010, Stephen Colbert, Drake and Justin Bieber were the three most re-tweeted celebrities on the site' — any specific time, or is this throughout the whole of 2010? Clarification required.- Tried to make this clearer. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Immediately following Bieber updating, sixty responses to him are posted a second' — when? What is meant by that? Is what is trying to be said that when he posts something, sometimes [(when?)] he gets up to 60 responses in a second. Also, sixty ⇒ 60, as it is below 10.- MOS:NUMBER: numbers greater than nine, if they are expressed in one or two words, may be rendered in numerals or in words Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'In fact, he was named the top trending star on Twitter in 2010' — I don't like the way that is worded, removing 'In fact, ' would be suitable.- Re-worded. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber fans were upset with Twitter and tried to cheat the new algorithm by getting related words and mispellings connected to Bieber to trend including the words Twieber and Jieber' — remove? I see no point in saying that they were upset, because not all of them would be. Maybe 'some' would be more applicable in this case.- "Bieber fans" is indefinite; but added "some". Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber related topics would continue to trend on Twitter,[47] including MSG-ANNIVERSARY[48][49][50] Beliebers Love Jelena,[51] and "Happy Birthday Pattie"' — remove comma before reference 47, add comma after MSG-MSG-ANNIVERSARY, remove comma after 'Beliebers Love Jelena' due to the fact that 'and' follows after it.
- Comment - the comma after Jelena is called a
serial comma and is perfectly acceptable.
Ladyof
Shalott
23:43, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- Added comma after MSG-ANNIVERSARY Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Comment - the comma after Jelena is called a
serial comma and is perfectly acceptable.
Ladyof
Shalott
23:43, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
'The Bieber topic in March 2011 he trended alongside the iPad and Charlie Sheen' — doesn't make sense in my sight. Maybe replace with 'In March 2011 the Bieber topic trended alongside Charlie Sheen and the iPad'?- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 2
' Klout gives his account a score of 100' — when was the score given? What does this mean? If in past-tense should be 'gave' or something suitable like that.- Switched to past tense. (Although of course it is the present.)
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Who knows, could go down! ⇒ T A P 10:24, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Switched to past tense. (Although of course it is the present.)
Hawkeye7 (
talk)
01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Suggestion: Lady Gaga, the top followed on twitter? 'He was ahead of ...'- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'... search results for Bieber will pull in Bieber related Tweets in a search results section called "Latest News."' — remove period from quote of "Latest News" as there is not a period in the original quote.- Done. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 3
'Bieber's tweets drive sales online' — please remove, not required, and how if not removed?- Explained in the following sentence. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'Bieber was in an advertisement for Best Buy at a time when he had around 8 million followers' — when was this 'time'?' BET' ⇒ Black Entertainment Television.- Done. 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
'On the other hand ...' — would like rewording please!- Added apostrophe. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 4
'8.3% of tweets mentioning "bieber" were semi-automated and probably Twitter related spam' — when? Also, capitalise "Bieber" as it is a name.- Done. Not capitalising, as not really a name here. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 5
'His multiple tweets resulted in 32,000 responses each' — hmm, all of them?- According to the sources. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
Followers and fans
- Not much to say here, so it's okay
Twitter mishaps and controversy
- Paragraph 1
'Bieber, along with other celebrities, has been the subject of the false reports of his death on Twitter,[4][122][123] including reports in 2011' — what time in 2011?- The source says "the Summer of 2011", but the MOS does not let us say that, so it stays as 2011. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 2
- Fine.
- Paragraph 3
- Fine.
- Paragraph 4
'Bieber made a tweet that said “call me now.” and included a phone number for a Texas couple' — when? I know in March 2012 it says about the legal-stuff, but when was the tweet sent?- March 2012. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 5
'The death threats occurred for over a week' — specifically how long? 'over a week' could mean years, or 8 days.- Dropped sentence. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Paragraph 6
- Grand-ish, nothing major.
I'll put this on hold for now so the issues are addressed. Regards, ⇒ T A P 20:00, 9 June 2012 (UTC)
- All points addressed. Hawkeye7 ( talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks, will try to pass later. ⇒ T A P 10:24, 10 June 2012 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and
verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to
reliable sources): c (
OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the
neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by
images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have
fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with
suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have
fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
I don't want to see Twitter articles on here really, but I'll pass this one as all the points have been addressed. Regards, ⇒ T A P 10:26, 10 June 2012 (UTC)