Harold Halibut was nominated as a Video games good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (May 27, 2024). There are suggestions on the review page for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated. |
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Reviewing |
Nominator: Vrxces ( talk · contribs) 00:15, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: PresN ( talk · contribs) 20:28, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
Review time! I review by writing my thoughts on the article out as I read through the article.
"Players navigate the interior districts of the Fedora"- you haven't said what the Fedora is; presumably the ship, but you have to introduce that outside of the lede as well.
"Fedora I... was sent... encounters... is stranded"- you have three tenses in two sentences; given that all of this is backstory, it should probably all be past tense
"The player is Harold"- the player character
"including their views on whether to leave the Fedora or stay"- aren't they stranded at the bottom of an ocean? How would they leave the Fedora?
"and return to home is discovered"- is home Earth?
" Harold is placed in a unique position to make a difference in the future of the ship and its populace."- this reads like marketing copy that is trying not the spoil the plot; what does he do that changes the story?
"Harold also discovers the original mission of the Fedora may not have been as essential as its inhabitants believe."- what does this mean?
"Originally conceived to be more reliant on puzzles, Hekimoğlu stated that this approach was abandoned..."- as worded, this says that Hekimoğlu was conceived to be reliant on puzzles. Maybe "The game was originally conceived to be more reliant on puzzles, but according to Hekimoğlu this approach was abandoned..."
Harold Halibut was nominated as a Video games good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (May 27, 2024). There are suggestions on the review page for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated. |
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Reviewing |
Nominator: Vrxces ( talk · contribs) 00:15, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: PresN ( talk · contribs) 20:28, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
Review time! I review by writing my thoughts on the article out as I read through the article.
"Players navigate the interior districts of the Fedora"- you haven't said what the Fedora is; presumably the ship, but you have to introduce that outside of the lede as well.
"Fedora I... was sent... encounters... is stranded"- you have three tenses in two sentences; given that all of this is backstory, it should probably all be past tense
"The player is Harold"- the player character
"including their views on whether to leave the Fedora or stay"- aren't they stranded at the bottom of an ocean? How would they leave the Fedora?
"and return to home is discovered"- is home Earth?
" Harold is placed in a unique position to make a difference in the future of the ship and its populace."- this reads like marketing copy that is trying not the spoil the plot; what does he do that changes the story?
"Harold also discovers the original mission of the Fedora may not have been as essential as its inhabitants believe."- what does this mean?
"Originally conceived to be more reliant on puzzles, Hekimoğlu stated that this approach was abandoned..."- as worded, this says that Hekimoğlu was conceived to be reliant on puzzles. Maybe "The game was originally conceived to be more reliant on puzzles, but according to Hekimoğlu this approach was abandoned..."