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Reviewer: Guettarda ( talk · contribs) 18:13, 23 March 2019 (UTC)
Nice work on this. Some initial observations
Finding an orphaned female bear ... he becomes Colebourn's regiment's mascot- shouldn't that be "she"?
This is generally thought not to be the case judging ... the gender of Christopher Robin's doll, Edward.- There's no other mention of this doll, Edward, and I can't figure out the relevance.
Guettarda ( talk) 19:14, 23 March 2019 (UTC)
A few more things
She was moved to write the book to explain her son's name to him., but her son's name, Cole, is only mentioned in the second paragraph of the "Writing and illustrations" section, and it's never actually said that Cole is the child in the story. Maybe you could change the last sentence of the first paragraph of the "Background and publication" section from
She was moved to write the book to explain her son's name to himto say
...to her son Cole's name.... That would make the rest of it a lot clearer.
(And aside, I'm charmed by this story. Thanks for writing this!) Guettarda ( talk) 04:48, 24 March 2019 (UTC)
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Reviewer: Guettarda ( talk · contribs) 18:13, 23 March 2019 (UTC)
Nice work on this. Some initial observations
Finding an orphaned female bear ... he becomes Colebourn's regiment's mascot- shouldn't that be "she"?
This is generally thought not to be the case judging ... the gender of Christopher Robin's doll, Edward.- There's no other mention of this doll, Edward, and I can't figure out the relevance.
Guettarda ( talk) 19:14, 23 March 2019 (UTC)
A few more things
She was moved to write the book to explain her son's name to him., but her son's name, Cole, is only mentioned in the second paragraph of the "Writing and illustrations" section, and it's never actually said that Cole is the child in the story. Maybe you could change the last sentence of the first paragraph of the "Background and publication" section from
She was moved to write the book to explain her son's name to himto say
...to her son Cole's name.... That would make the rest of it a lot clearer.
(And aside, I'm charmed by this story. Thanks for writing this!) Guettarda ( talk) 04:48, 24 March 2019 (UTC)