Darejan wed Heraclius in 1750. Their 48 years of marriage produced 23 children. In the closing years of Heraclius's reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs. → Darajan married Heraclius in 1750 and their marriage lasts 48 years until his death in 1798; the union produced 23 children. In the final years of her husbands reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs.
whose progeny she tried to prevent from succeeding to the throne of Georgia. → What does progeny mean? I don't understand the sentence as a result.
After the Russian annexation of Georgia, Queen Dowager Darejan was deported to Russia proper in 1803. → You need to say that following his death, I kind of helped you out with my suggestion above with this, but at the moment all the sentences are bit lumped together.
was buried there, at the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. → and was buried at the
Alexander Nevsky Lavra.
Lead says Katsia-Giorgi Dadiani, Early life and marriage says Katsia (Giorgi) Dadiani. Pick one and be consistent.
She was only 12 years old in 1750, when Heraclius, then reigning in Kakheti, chose her as his third wife, a year after his second wife, Ana Abashidze, died. → There are so many clauses here. It makes it difficult to read.
Is this entire section attributed just to the final citation at the end?
The couple's first better documented child, → This is poorly worded
in the period → Remove
In the last years of Heraclius II, → in what?
her influence became to be felt. → Okay?
In 1791 Darejan → Comma after the date
, George, now King George XII, → the now King George XII
, on one hand, and Darejan and her sons, on the other → This could be worded so much simpler
Another major point at issue between → Same here
neighbor → Should American English be being used here?
In 1800 one → Comma after date
You flick between Queen Dowager Darejan and just Darejan. Pick one.
Ivan Lazarev, issued → No need for the comma
Shouldn't Tsar be capitalised?
Queen Dowager and her sons → If you're going to use this, then it should be 'The Queen Dowager...'
Once, the general infuriated her → Way too conversational
reached full age. → reached adulthood
Sorry it took so long to review. i completely forgot I had even opened it. Thanks for your patience. Next time, ping me much sooner! On hold. —
Calvin99917:37, 17 October 2015 (UTC)reply
Darejan wed Heraclius in 1750. Their 48 years of marriage produced 23 children. In the closing years of Heraclius's reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs. → Darajan married Heraclius in 1750 and their marriage lasts 48 years until his death in 1798; the union produced 23 children. In the final years of her husbands reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs.
whose progeny she tried to prevent from succeeding to the throne of Georgia. → What does progeny mean? I don't understand the sentence as a result.
After the Russian annexation of Georgia, Queen Dowager Darejan was deported to Russia proper in 1803. → You need to say that following his death, I kind of helped you out with my suggestion above with this, but at the moment all the sentences are bit lumped together.
was buried there, at the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. → and was buried at the
Alexander Nevsky Lavra.
Lead says Katsia-Giorgi Dadiani, Early life and marriage says Katsia (Giorgi) Dadiani. Pick one and be consistent.
She was only 12 years old in 1750, when Heraclius, then reigning in Kakheti, chose her as his third wife, a year after his second wife, Ana Abashidze, died. → There are so many clauses here. It makes it difficult to read.
Is this entire section attributed just to the final citation at the end?
The couple's first better documented child, → This is poorly worded
in the period → Remove
In the last years of Heraclius II, → in what?
her influence became to be felt. → Okay?
In 1791 Darejan → Comma after the date
, George, now King George XII, → the now King George XII
, on one hand, and Darejan and her sons, on the other → This could be worded so much simpler
Another major point at issue between → Same here
neighbor → Should American English be being used here?
In 1800 one → Comma after date
You flick between Queen Dowager Darejan and just Darejan. Pick one.
Ivan Lazarev, issued → No need for the comma
Shouldn't Tsar be capitalised?
Queen Dowager and her sons → If you're going to use this, then it should be 'The Queen Dowager...'
Once, the general infuriated her → Way too conversational
reached full age. → reached adulthood
Sorry it took so long to review. i completely forgot I had even opened it. Thanks for your patience. Next time, ping me much sooner! On hold. —
Calvin99917:37, 17 October 2015 (UTC)reply