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Removed recently from MacFie
"Clan MacFie is formally recognised as an armigerous clan in Scotland by the Lord Lyon, this honorific having been obtained by members of the board of the sugar manufacturers Tate & Lyle Ltd. who desired recognition from King George IV when he visited Scotland in 1822, the first visit by an English monarch since 1650.
Tartans and kilts were produced and displayed on that occasion, regardless of authenticity. The MacFies and the MacIvers came out with the same tartan design, an anomaly which has never been corrected." Ben MacDui (Talk) 07:26, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
Thankyou Celtus for your work on improving the article. Much appreciated. I am, as you might guess, a MacFie. I recall my father remarking that we were an uncommon breed due, partly, to the many members lost at the Battle of Culloden. Is that documented at all? Wwwhatsup 06:57, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
On the offical website, their newsletter and the a couple other sites i've seen, the clan is consistantly spelt with a lower case f. And this from here The Lord Lyon of Scotland recognizes the spelling 'Macfie' as the only official spelling of our clan name. So i'm going to move the page to Clan Macfie.-- Celtus 05:22, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
If one searches Wikipedia on macfie, one comes up with MacFie. This article, while having a see also that refers to this article, more directly links to Mahaffey. Surely both these pages are redundant, and could be replaced with redirects to this article, or at least the links on each should be amended. Wwwhatsup 19:22, 5 October 2007 (UTC)
The following changes have been made on behalf of the Clan Commander A.C. (Sandy) McPhie, at his request, by myself, Scot McPhie, Web Master for the MacFie Clan:
1. Opening paragraph entitled "Clan Macfie", rewritten to read:"Clan Macfie is one of the oldest Scottish Clans. Centred on the southern Inner Hebrides islands of Colonsay and Oronsay, the Clan lost its last Chief, Malcolm, in 1623 and became a 'broken' clan, dispossessed of its homelands. No line of descent from Chief Malcolm has been established and the Clan remained 'broken' until 27th May 1981 when the Lord Lyon King of Arms recognised Clan Macfie as again being an 'active' clan and subsequently, appointed a Ceann-Cath, or Clan Commander. The ancient name of the Clan was Macdubhsith, this anglicised in time to MacDuffie or MacPhee which were then considered synonymous. To-day's spelling of the Clan name as Macfie was determined by the Lord Lyon using the surname spelling of the first Clan member to receive a Grant of Arms. To-day Clan Macfie is alive, with nine Clan Societies located around the world."
2. History paragraph - Skene sentance moved here, along with the wire diagram.
3. Deletion of Last in Line of Chiefs section, as in the Commander's opinion it does not enhace the entry. Minor wording ammendments, as per instructions: (a) fourth line delete "to the south western corner of the island" and insert in lieu "to the islands at the southwestern end of Oronsay"; (b) line thirteen etc., opening reword to "number of Clan Macfie members settled in Lochaber after the loss of Colonsay and followed Cameron of Lochiel."
4. Deletion of MacFie the Outlaw section as in the Commander's opinion it does nothing to enhance the Clan's history or image.
5. Modern Clan section - minor changes to wording, notably "appointed" for "recognised"
6. Clan Profile - minor changes - mainly deletion of references to Clan McIvor tartan
7. Associated Names - after "Clan Macfie" "and" deleted and replaced with "as", and the following statement also inserted "The Clan Commander recognizes the historical links Clan Macfie had with the Macdonald Lords of the Isles, Clan Cameron and a branch of Clan McNicol in Glenorchy. More recently, close links have been established by Clan Macfie with Thorburns in Sweden and the Brew family in New Zealand."
BTW here's a totally obscure reference to Macfies defying the powers that be in more recent history. Wwwhatsup 06:16, 29 October 2007 (UTC)
"The 19th century historian W. F. Skene named the clan as one of the seven clans of Siol Alpin – who according Skene could all trace their ancestry back to Alpin, father of Cináed mac Ailpín."
"According to Sken" should be set off with commas. Also, what is Soil Alpin?
"Popular tradition has been until recently to consider Cináed mac Ailpín the first King of Scots and a Gael, however recent research has shown he was actually a Pictish king and likely a Pict himself."
Use a semicolon, not a comma. And put a comma after "however".
"Following the forfeiture of the Lordship of the Isles in the late 15th century the clan still attached itself to powerful Macdonalds. In the early 17th century the last chief of the clan was executed as Colonsay was lost to the control of a Macdonald."
Comma after the introductory phrases in the two sentences.
"From this point on the Macfies followed the Macdonalds of Islay, though a branch of the clan being dispersed to lands controlled by Clan Cameron."
"Was dispersed", not "being".
"Though of their early history nothing is known."
This sentence is a fragment.
"The principle stone bore the engraving of a birlinn, two handed claymore and the inscription "Hic jacit Malcolumbus MacDuffie de Collonsay"
A translation of the quote, perhaps?
"Of the stones, one is to the memory of Murchardus M'Duffie, who died in 1539. Another stone is for Sir Donald M'Duffie, who was abbot of Oronsay when Donald Munro, High Dean of the Isles, toured the Western Isles in 1549."
Who are these two people? What relevance do they have?
"In describing the island of Colonsay, Monro wrote that "this ile is bruikit be ane gentle capitane, callit M’Duffyhe, and pertened of auld to Clandonald of Kyntyre", gentle meaning 'well-born', and captain being the old styling of 'chief'"
Why not just paraphrase, instead of quoting a very hard-to-read passage?
"The laird of Colonsay, "M'Fee of Collowsay" (Murdoch Macfie of Colonsay), appears on the General Band of 1587 listed as one of the "landislordis and baillies of lands in the hieland and iles, quhair brokin men hes duelt and presentlie duellis"."
Again, why quote a very hard-to-read passage when you can paraphrase? And what's a laird?
"Macfie was one of the principal leaders in Macdonald's rebellion against the Government who had promised Islay to the Campbells."
Put a comma after "Government".
"Macfie together with Donald Gigach MacIan, who was the principal man on the nearby isle of Jura, were able to contribute a combined total of 64 men to the Macdonald rebellion."
Put a comma after "Macfie". And "principal man" is rather general. What does it mean? And, "were" should be "was" (referring only to Macfie).
"When Sir James Macdonald's force of 400 men landed in at Kinloch (Campbellton) in Kintyre, they were made up in part by the "special men" from Islay, Macfie of Colonsay, Donald Gigach of Jura, Allaster MacRanald of Keppoch, and North Islesmen."
If you're going to do a list, then you should use a colon after "Islay".
"Finally in 1623 Malcolm Macfie was pursued to the south-western corner of the island and taken by the MacDonalds."
Comma after "Finally" and "1623".
"It is said that while Colla Ciotach and his men were returning to Oronsay, a gull, hovering over a ledge of rock at the edge of the sea, gave away the location of the Macfie chief."
Exactly how relevant is that?
"The fact that Colla Ciotach slew the chief of the Clan Macfie is proven as the Council Records state that Colla Ciotach was "guilty of the felonie and cruell slaughter of umquhill Malcolm Macphie of Collonsay"."
Again, try summarizing, not quoting this difficult passage.
"The island was later to be absorbed into the earldom of Argyll, until it was sold in 1701 to a McNeill or Crear."
"McNeill or Crear" is improperly wikilinked.
"A well known character in Inverness-shire, in the 19th century, was a Ewen Macphee who lived as an outlaw, recognising no landowner and raised a family upon a small island."
Keep your tense consistent.
"In 1968 Earle Douglas MacPhee of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada started a movement to have the Clan Macfie officially registered with the Lord Lyon."
Comma after the year.
"Some ten years later, on May 10, 1977, the Macfie Standing Stone on Balaruminmore on Colonsay was dedicated as a memorial to the last chief of the clan who was executed against it in 1623."
"Some ten years later" is rather informal, and unnecessary.
"In May 1981 Clan Macfie was formally recognised by the Lord Lyon and later in November of that year Earle MacPhee was appointed as Commander of Clan Macfie by the Lord Lyon."
Comma after 1981 and "year".
"Currently (as of March 2008) there are 104 participants in the project. Of the 104 participants there have been 33 separate bloodlines found."
Comma after "Currently" and the second "participants".
OK, the article goes down hill here. These section are rather short, and I think maybe "Crest badge and clan badge" could be put better (maybe in a userbox?). Also, I think that "Associated names" could be eliminated.
Also, what makes these links reliable?
Still a long way to go. Noble Story ( talk) 14:12, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
''Clan Macfie is a Scottish clan, officially registered with Lyon Court since 1981. "
What is the Lyon Court?
"The clan is considered an Armigerous clan as it is currently without a chief."
What is an Armigerous clan?
"Little is known of the early history of the clan, though it is certain the clan served under the Lords of the Isles."
Who are the Lords of the Isles? Or more specifically, Lord of what Isles?
"Martin, in his A Description of the Western Isles of Scotland of 1703, wrote that on the south side of the church of St. Columba on Oronsay, were the tombstones of MacDuffie and the cadets of his family."
This is the first mention of "MacDuffie". Why is he relevant to the clan? Or perhaps I should say, you should mention that the surname is linked to the Macfie surname, as I think that is the explanation. But for an unknowing reader, Macduffie and Macfie don't seem related at all.
"Of the stones, one is to the memory of Murchardus M'Duffie, who died in 1539."
"M'duffie" would be a contraction of "Macduffie", correct? However, I think that according to the MoS, contractions shouldn't be used. So, unless there is a specific reason to use them, then you should spell out the whole name in all instances.
"During this time the two feuded and it seems Macfie was chased across the island as several of his apparent hiding places bear his name."
It seems? Are you not sure? In which case, I think you can take it out if you're not sure.
"According to the clan's website, the chief was then tied to a stone and summarily shot."
Do you need to say "according to the clan's website"?
"The clan website states that a Macfie (of Clan Cameron) was one of the two pipers at Glenfinnan, when on August 19, 1745 Charles Edward Stuart (Bonnie Prince Charlie) raised his standard and claimed both the Scottish and English throne in the name of his father James Francis Edward Stuart (The Old Pretender)."
Do you need to say "The clan website states"? And do you need to include the two men's nicknames?
"An account of Macphee was recorded in Gaelic gatherings, or the Highlanders at Home on heather, river and loch and Place-Names of Glengarry and Glenquoich."
What was the account recorded in? A book, a document, or what?
"Macphee was said to have been an able soldier but he soon deserted the Army and fled to his native Glengarry, where he hid living in Feddan with his sister."
You say he feld to Glengarry, but lived in Feddan?
"Ewen Macphee lived for two years around the shores of Loch Arkaig before building a bothy on a small island in Loch Quoich, which has since bore his name: Eilen Mhic Phee (translation from Scottish Gaelic: MacPhee's Island)."
"Born", not "bore".
"Macphee, himself believed he had supernatural powers, cattle were brought to him to be cured, and he also weaved charms."
No comma needed after the name. And this sentence seems like a run-on.
"As the years past neighbouring shepherds finally decided to put an end to Macphee's sheep stealing, and the sheriff sent two officers to confront Macphee."
He stole sheep? You didn't mention that before.
"A week later an armed party was then sent and Ewen Macphee was finally arrested and taken to prison where he died."
Comma after prison. After how much later after he was taken to prison did he die?
"A search of his island revealed that "bales upon bales of tallow and skins were found hidden in the loch under the banks of the island."
Relevance?
"In 1864 the first Macfies to have a registered Coat of Arms were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn, when their Arms were registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland."
Comma after the date.
"In 1864 the first Macfies to have a registered Coat of Arms were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn, when their Arms were registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland. The two men were highly successful businessmen in the sugar industry. The modern Clan MacFie crest is derived from the Coat of Arms of Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn."
How about a little combining to help the sentences flow better, and connect the information better?
"On May 10, 1977, the Macfie Standing Stone on Balaruminmore on Colonsay was dedicated as a memorial to the last chief of the clan who was executed against it in 1623."
Comma after "clan".
"Scottish crest badges are used by clan members to show their allegiance to their clan and chief. Much like clan tartans, crest badges owe their popularity to Victorian romanticism. Crest badges are heraldic badges which usually contain the heraldic crest of the clan chief, encircled with a buckle containing the chief's heraldic motto."
If there's a red link, fix it or unlink it.
Noble Story ( talk) 14:06, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
OK, here are some general comments:
Noble Story ( talk) 14:21, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
WP:Good article usage is a survey of the language and style of Wikipedia editors in articles being reviewed for Good article nomination. It will help make the experience of writing Good Articles as non-threatening and satisfying as possible if all the participating editors would take a moment to answer a few questions for us, in this section please. The survey will end on April 30.
At any point during this review, let us know if we recommend any edits, including markup, punctuation and language, that you feel don't fit with your writing style. Thanks for your time. - Dan
Dank55 (
talk)(
mistakes)
03:39, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: Pyrotec ( talk) 17:36, 20 February 2011 (UTC)
By now I have a quick read through of the article. I looks to be at or about GA level, so I will not be "quick failing" it.
I'm now going to work my way through the article in more detail and just note any "problems" that I see, starting from the first section through to the end; and then do the WP:Lead last. This may take a couple of days: but if a don't find any problems in a particular section/subsection I might not make any comments on it here. I will produce an overall summary at the end to cover everything. Pyrotec ( talk) 21:08, 27 February 2011 (UTC)
Most of the problems appear to be farily "trival" in the individual effort needed, but I suspect that there will a quite a few. Pyrotec ( talk) 14:00, 28 February 2011 (UTC)
....to be continued. Pyrotec ( talk) 14:10, 28 February 2011 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
A well-referenced, well-illustrated article.
I'm awarding this article GA-status. Thanks for resolving my "actions" promply and congratulations on acheiving GA. Pyrotec ( talk) 21:33, 3 March 2011 (UTC)
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Clan Macfie has been listed as one of the Social sciences and society good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. | |||||||||||||
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Current status: Good article |
This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
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This article links to one or more target anchors that no longer exist.
Please help fix the broken anchors. You can remove this template after fixing the problems. |
Reporting errors |
Removed recently from MacFie
"Clan MacFie is formally recognised as an armigerous clan in Scotland by the Lord Lyon, this honorific having been obtained by members of the board of the sugar manufacturers Tate & Lyle Ltd. who desired recognition from King George IV when he visited Scotland in 1822, the first visit by an English monarch since 1650.
Tartans and kilts were produced and displayed on that occasion, regardless of authenticity. The MacFies and the MacIvers came out with the same tartan design, an anomaly which has never been corrected." Ben MacDui (Talk) 07:26, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
Thankyou Celtus for your work on improving the article. Much appreciated. I am, as you might guess, a MacFie. I recall my father remarking that we were an uncommon breed due, partly, to the many members lost at the Battle of Culloden. Is that documented at all? Wwwhatsup 06:57, 29 August 2007 (UTC)
On the offical website, their newsletter and the a couple other sites i've seen, the clan is consistantly spelt with a lower case f. And this from here The Lord Lyon of Scotland recognizes the spelling 'Macfie' as the only official spelling of our clan name. So i'm going to move the page to Clan Macfie.-- Celtus 05:22, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
If one searches Wikipedia on macfie, one comes up with MacFie. This article, while having a see also that refers to this article, more directly links to Mahaffey. Surely both these pages are redundant, and could be replaced with redirects to this article, or at least the links on each should be amended. Wwwhatsup 19:22, 5 October 2007 (UTC)
The following changes have been made on behalf of the Clan Commander A.C. (Sandy) McPhie, at his request, by myself, Scot McPhie, Web Master for the MacFie Clan:
1. Opening paragraph entitled "Clan Macfie", rewritten to read:"Clan Macfie is one of the oldest Scottish Clans. Centred on the southern Inner Hebrides islands of Colonsay and Oronsay, the Clan lost its last Chief, Malcolm, in 1623 and became a 'broken' clan, dispossessed of its homelands. No line of descent from Chief Malcolm has been established and the Clan remained 'broken' until 27th May 1981 when the Lord Lyon King of Arms recognised Clan Macfie as again being an 'active' clan and subsequently, appointed a Ceann-Cath, or Clan Commander. The ancient name of the Clan was Macdubhsith, this anglicised in time to MacDuffie or MacPhee which were then considered synonymous. To-day's spelling of the Clan name as Macfie was determined by the Lord Lyon using the surname spelling of the first Clan member to receive a Grant of Arms. To-day Clan Macfie is alive, with nine Clan Societies located around the world."
2. History paragraph - Skene sentance moved here, along with the wire diagram.
3. Deletion of Last in Line of Chiefs section, as in the Commander's opinion it does not enhace the entry. Minor wording ammendments, as per instructions: (a) fourth line delete "to the south western corner of the island" and insert in lieu "to the islands at the southwestern end of Oronsay"; (b) line thirteen etc., opening reword to "number of Clan Macfie members settled in Lochaber after the loss of Colonsay and followed Cameron of Lochiel."
4. Deletion of MacFie the Outlaw section as in the Commander's opinion it does nothing to enhance the Clan's history or image.
5. Modern Clan section - minor changes to wording, notably "appointed" for "recognised"
6. Clan Profile - minor changes - mainly deletion of references to Clan McIvor tartan
7. Associated Names - after "Clan Macfie" "and" deleted and replaced with "as", and the following statement also inserted "The Clan Commander recognizes the historical links Clan Macfie had with the Macdonald Lords of the Isles, Clan Cameron and a branch of Clan McNicol in Glenorchy. More recently, close links have been established by Clan Macfie with Thorburns in Sweden and the Brew family in New Zealand."
BTW here's a totally obscure reference to Macfies defying the powers that be in more recent history. Wwwhatsup 06:16, 29 October 2007 (UTC)
"The 19th century historian W. F. Skene named the clan as one of the seven clans of Siol Alpin – who according Skene could all trace their ancestry back to Alpin, father of Cináed mac Ailpín."
"According to Sken" should be set off with commas. Also, what is Soil Alpin?
"Popular tradition has been until recently to consider Cináed mac Ailpín the first King of Scots and a Gael, however recent research has shown he was actually a Pictish king and likely a Pict himself."
Use a semicolon, not a comma. And put a comma after "however".
"Following the forfeiture of the Lordship of the Isles in the late 15th century the clan still attached itself to powerful Macdonalds. In the early 17th century the last chief of the clan was executed as Colonsay was lost to the control of a Macdonald."
Comma after the introductory phrases in the two sentences.
"From this point on the Macfies followed the Macdonalds of Islay, though a branch of the clan being dispersed to lands controlled by Clan Cameron."
"Was dispersed", not "being".
"Though of their early history nothing is known."
This sentence is a fragment.
"The principle stone bore the engraving of a birlinn, two handed claymore and the inscription "Hic jacit Malcolumbus MacDuffie de Collonsay"
A translation of the quote, perhaps?
"Of the stones, one is to the memory of Murchardus M'Duffie, who died in 1539. Another stone is for Sir Donald M'Duffie, who was abbot of Oronsay when Donald Munro, High Dean of the Isles, toured the Western Isles in 1549."
Who are these two people? What relevance do they have?
"In describing the island of Colonsay, Monro wrote that "this ile is bruikit be ane gentle capitane, callit M’Duffyhe, and pertened of auld to Clandonald of Kyntyre", gentle meaning 'well-born', and captain being the old styling of 'chief'"
Why not just paraphrase, instead of quoting a very hard-to-read passage?
"The laird of Colonsay, "M'Fee of Collowsay" (Murdoch Macfie of Colonsay), appears on the General Band of 1587 listed as one of the "landislordis and baillies of lands in the hieland and iles, quhair brokin men hes duelt and presentlie duellis"."
Again, why quote a very hard-to-read passage when you can paraphrase? And what's a laird?
"Macfie was one of the principal leaders in Macdonald's rebellion against the Government who had promised Islay to the Campbells."
Put a comma after "Government".
"Macfie together with Donald Gigach MacIan, who was the principal man on the nearby isle of Jura, were able to contribute a combined total of 64 men to the Macdonald rebellion."
Put a comma after "Macfie". And "principal man" is rather general. What does it mean? And, "were" should be "was" (referring only to Macfie).
"When Sir James Macdonald's force of 400 men landed in at Kinloch (Campbellton) in Kintyre, they were made up in part by the "special men" from Islay, Macfie of Colonsay, Donald Gigach of Jura, Allaster MacRanald of Keppoch, and North Islesmen."
If you're going to do a list, then you should use a colon after "Islay".
"Finally in 1623 Malcolm Macfie was pursued to the south-western corner of the island and taken by the MacDonalds."
Comma after "Finally" and "1623".
"It is said that while Colla Ciotach and his men were returning to Oronsay, a gull, hovering over a ledge of rock at the edge of the sea, gave away the location of the Macfie chief."
Exactly how relevant is that?
"The fact that Colla Ciotach slew the chief of the Clan Macfie is proven as the Council Records state that Colla Ciotach was "guilty of the felonie and cruell slaughter of umquhill Malcolm Macphie of Collonsay"."
Again, try summarizing, not quoting this difficult passage.
"The island was later to be absorbed into the earldom of Argyll, until it was sold in 1701 to a McNeill or Crear."
"McNeill or Crear" is improperly wikilinked.
"A well known character in Inverness-shire, in the 19th century, was a Ewen Macphee who lived as an outlaw, recognising no landowner and raised a family upon a small island."
Keep your tense consistent.
"In 1968 Earle Douglas MacPhee of Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada started a movement to have the Clan Macfie officially registered with the Lord Lyon."
Comma after the year.
"Some ten years later, on May 10, 1977, the Macfie Standing Stone on Balaruminmore on Colonsay was dedicated as a memorial to the last chief of the clan who was executed against it in 1623."
"Some ten years later" is rather informal, and unnecessary.
"In May 1981 Clan Macfie was formally recognised by the Lord Lyon and later in November of that year Earle MacPhee was appointed as Commander of Clan Macfie by the Lord Lyon."
Comma after 1981 and "year".
"Currently (as of March 2008) there are 104 participants in the project. Of the 104 participants there have been 33 separate bloodlines found."
Comma after "Currently" and the second "participants".
OK, the article goes down hill here. These section are rather short, and I think maybe "Crest badge and clan badge" could be put better (maybe in a userbox?). Also, I think that "Associated names" could be eliminated.
Also, what makes these links reliable?
Still a long way to go. Noble Story ( talk) 14:12, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
''Clan Macfie is a Scottish clan, officially registered with Lyon Court since 1981. "
What is the Lyon Court?
"The clan is considered an Armigerous clan as it is currently without a chief."
What is an Armigerous clan?
"Little is known of the early history of the clan, though it is certain the clan served under the Lords of the Isles."
Who are the Lords of the Isles? Or more specifically, Lord of what Isles?
"Martin, in his A Description of the Western Isles of Scotland of 1703, wrote that on the south side of the church of St. Columba on Oronsay, were the tombstones of MacDuffie and the cadets of his family."
This is the first mention of "MacDuffie". Why is he relevant to the clan? Or perhaps I should say, you should mention that the surname is linked to the Macfie surname, as I think that is the explanation. But for an unknowing reader, Macduffie and Macfie don't seem related at all.
"Of the stones, one is to the memory of Murchardus M'Duffie, who died in 1539."
"M'duffie" would be a contraction of "Macduffie", correct? However, I think that according to the MoS, contractions shouldn't be used. So, unless there is a specific reason to use them, then you should spell out the whole name in all instances.
"During this time the two feuded and it seems Macfie was chased across the island as several of his apparent hiding places bear his name."
It seems? Are you not sure? In which case, I think you can take it out if you're not sure.
"According to the clan's website, the chief was then tied to a stone and summarily shot."
Do you need to say "according to the clan's website"?
"The clan website states that a Macfie (of Clan Cameron) was one of the two pipers at Glenfinnan, when on August 19, 1745 Charles Edward Stuart (Bonnie Prince Charlie) raised his standard and claimed both the Scottish and English throne in the name of his father James Francis Edward Stuart (The Old Pretender)."
Do you need to say "The clan website states"? And do you need to include the two men's nicknames?
"An account of Macphee was recorded in Gaelic gatherings, or the Highlanders at Home on heather, river and loch and Place-Names of Glengarry and Glenquoich."
What was the account recorded in? A book, a document, or what?
"Macphee was said to have been an able soldier but he soon deserted the Army and fled to his native Glengarry, where he hid living in Feddan with his sister."
You say he feld to Glengarry, but lived in Feddan?
"Ewen Macphee lived for two years around the shores of Loch Arkaig before building a bothy on a small island in Loch Quoich, which has since bore his name: Eilen Mhic Phee (translation from Scottish Gaelic: MacPhee's Island)."
"Born", not "bore".
"Macphee, himself believed he had supernatural powers, cattle were brought to him to be cured, and he also weaved charms."
No comma needed after the name. And this sentence seems like a run-on.
"As the years past neighbouring shepherds finally decided to put an end to Macphee's sheep stealing, and the sheriff sent two officers to confront Macphee."
He stole sheep? You didn't mention that before.
"A week later an armed party was then sent and Ewen Macphee was finally arrested and taken to prison where he died."
Comma after prison. After how much later after he was taken to prison did he die?
"A search of his island revealed that "bales upon bales of tallow and skins were found hidden in the loch under the banks of the island."
Relevance?
"In 1864 the first Macfies to have a registered Coat of Arms were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn, when their Arms were registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland."
Comma after the date.
"In 1864 the first Macfies to have a registered Coat of Arms were Robert Macfie of Langhouse and Airds and Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn, when their Arms were registered in the Public Register of All Arms and Bearings in Scotland. The two men were highly successful businessmen in the sugar industry. The modern Clan MacFie crest is derived from the Coat of Arms of Robert Andrew Macfie of Dreghorn."
How about a little combining to help the sentences flow better, and connect the information better?
"On May 10, 1977, the Macfie Standing Stone on Balaruminmore on Colonsay was dedicated as a memorial to the last chief of the clan who was executed against it in 1623."
Comma after "clan".
"Scottish crest badges are used by clan members to show their allegiance to their clan and chief. Much like clan tartans, crest badges owe their popularity to Victorian romanticism. Crest badges are heraldic badges which usually contain the heraldic crest of the clan chief, encircled with a buckle containing the chief's heraldic motto."
If there's a red link, fix it or unlink it.
Noble Story ( talk) 14:06, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
OK, here are some general comments:
Noble Story ( talk) 14:21, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
WP:Good article usage is a survey of the language and style of Wikipedia editors in articles being reviewed for Good article nomination. It will help make the experience of writing Good Articles as non-threatening and satisfying as possible if all the participating editors would take a moment to answer a few questions for us, in this section please. The survey will end on April 30.
At any point during this review, let us know if we recommend any edits, including markup, punctuation and language, that you feel don't fit with your writing style. Thanks for your time. - Dan
Dank55 (
talk)(
mistakes)
03:39, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
GA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
Reviewer: Pyrotec ( talk) 17:36, 20 February 2011 (UTC)
By now I have a quick read through of the article. I looks to be at or about GA level, so I will not be "quick failing" it.
I'm now going to work my way through the article in more detail and just note any "problems" that I see, starting from the first section through to the end; and then do the WP:Lead last. This may take a couple of days: but if a don't find any problems in a particular section/subsection I might not make any comments on it here. I will produce an overall summary at the end to cover everything. Pyrotec ( talk) 21:08, 27 February 2011 (UTC)
Most of the problems appear to be farily "trival" in the individual effort needed, but I suspect that there will a quite a few. Pyrotec ( talk) 14:00, 28 February 2011 (UTC)
....to be continued. Pyrotec ( talk) 14:10, 28 February 2011 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
A well-referenced, well-illustrated article.
I'm awarding this article GA-status. Thanks for resolving my "actions" promply and congratulations on acheiving GA. Pyrotec ( talk) 21:33, 3 March 2011 (UTC)
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