The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Trainsandotherthings ( talk · contribs) 14:56, 24 March 2023 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
(Criteria marked are unassessed)
Prose commentsCheekface formed in Los Angeles in 2017 with the recruitment of Edwards, whom Katz was familiar with Edwards from the city's music scene.Either change to "with the recruitment of Edwards, whom Katz was familiar with from the city's music scene" or split this into two sentences. This isn't grammatically correct as written.
While not expecting an enthusiastic response to their music, in 2019 while playing a set at The Satellite in Los Angeles, Katz was startled when a small group of attendees sang along to every word in one of the band's tracks, temporarily causing him to forget his own lyrics for several lines.This is a run-on sentence; please either use a semicolon or split it into two sentences for better readability.
In January 2021, the band released its second album, Emphatically No., and later in the year they released an EP of B-sides from that record, titled Emphatically Mo'.Suggest shortening as "In January 2021, the band released its second album, Emphatically No., followed by an EP of B-sides from that record, titled Emphatically Mo'."
In August 2022 the band released their third album, Too Much to Ask, after announcing it only to fans via postcards sent the month before.This is rather awkwardly written, try "In August 2022, after teasing the album to fans via postcards, the band released their third album Too Much to Ask."
In a 2022 review, Chris Deville comparedWho is Chris Deville? Previously, you mention that Zach Schonfeld was covering the band for Alternative Press, so you should mention Deville was writing in Stereogum.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (
|
visual edit |
history) ·
Article talk (
|
history) ·
Watch
Reviewer: Trainsandotherthings ( talk · contribs) 14:56, 24 March 2023 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
(Criteria marked are unassessed)
Prose commentsCheekface formed in Los Angeles in 2017 with the recruitment of Edwards, whom Katz was familiar with Edwards from the city's music scene.Either change to "with the recruitment of Edwards, whom Katz was familiar with from the city's music scene" or split this into two sentences. This isn't grammatically correct as written.
While not expecting an enthusiastic response to their music, in 2019 while playing a set at The Satellite in Los Angeles, Katz was startled when a small group of attendees sang along to every word in one of the band's tracks, temporarily causing him to forget his own lyrics for several lines.This is a run-on sentence; please either use a semicolon or split it into two sentences for better readability.
In January 2021, the band released its second album, Emphatically No., and later in the year they released an EP of B-sides from that record, titled Emphatically Mo'.Suggest shortening as "In January 2021, the band released its second album, Emphatically No., followed by an EP of B-sides from that record, titled Emphatically Mo'."
In August 2022 the band released their third album, Too Much to Ask, after announcing it only to fans via postcards sent the month before.This is rather awkwardly written, try "In August 2022, after teasing the album to fans via postcards, the band released their third album Too Much to Ask."
In a 2022 review, Chris Deville comparedWho is Chris Deville? Previously, you mention that Zach Schonfeld was covering the band for Alternative Press, so you should mention Deville was writing in Stereogum.