This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Cast

(in order of appearance)

• Narrator: Brambleberry voiceover
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: The leader of the WikiPumas, who temporarily defeated Willy on Wheels
• Thekillerpenguin: A bionic penguin that convinced the Alliance of Penguins to change sides and single-handedly took down a vandal base
• A ding ding ding ding...: The vandal that vandalized the most before being blocked; has a ram's head and eagle talons.
• Willy on Wheels: Formerly the head of Uncyclopedia, now a servant.
• Jimbo Wales: Founder of Wikipedia, creator of the Jimbo Priveleges
• Whoop whoop pull up: Jimbo's right-hand woman, recipient of the Award of Impossible Merit

Script

Scene 0: Introduction

A far-away picture of a puma trudging through snow comes into focus as narrator speaks.

• Narrator: Jimbo was back, but that was not enough for me. There were more problems in the world, as there always would be, but at that moment this was personal. There is a threat greater than Willy on Wheels rising, and I cannot stop it myself. The name of this vandal is A ding ding ding ding, although he has made it clear that he would rather be known as Ding. Some say that he is a reincarnation of Willy on Wheels, although I know that he is something much greater, much darker. It's worse yet that a freak snowstorm has separated the four who can defeat Ding: me, the leader of the WikiPumas; Whoop whoop pull up, a newly minted bureaucrat who has more than pulled her weight in the Wikipedian-Uncyclopedian War; Thekillerpenguin, a bionic penguin who single-handedly convinced the Alliance of Penguins to switch sides; and the man who created it all, Jimbo Wales. I must find them if the WikiVerse is to survive.

Scene 1: Meet Thekillerpenguin

A rough but beautiful Antarctic landscape comes into focus, and a city is seen in the background. While this plays in the background.

• Narrator: Thekillerpenguin, the penguin who convinced the Alliance of Penguins to change sides, and the person who single-handedly took down a vandal base in the third war, is a truly deadly warrior. He was vital to winning the last war. When he is at delegations or in casual places, he looks like any ordinary penguin. However, his bionic enhancements, allow him to sprout body armor, a helmet, visor, and weapons at his will. These skills come naturally to him, as he has had them for a long time. He does not speak about his past, although he has stated that it isn't pretty. The only thing I know is that he was raised in Antarctica in one of the country's darkest times. He is at home in below-zero temperatures, in the blinding snow, where there is nothing but snow, ice, and dirt.

Camera switches views to a city, where it is quite empty today.

• Narrator: All I know after we parted ways was that he was returning to his hometown to settle down into a normal life.

Flash to a small cabin on the outskirts of a city known as Emperor's Rock. Thekillerpenguin is seen reading a book on the history of the Wikipedians, next to a blazing fireplace, while sipping a mug of tea made from some wintergreen leaves from his garden.

• Thekillerpenguin (voiceover): It's been three years since the last war, and I've settled down into a normal life in my hometown of Emperor's Rock. It is a quiet little town, and I work here as teacher at the local school, teaching older chicks about social studies and math, and I host the local garden club. My life right now is pretty good, I have a good salary, and I like my job. But something hasn't been right. I've felt this feeling that something big is going to happen, and something that might relate to the country of Wikipedia that I once fought for three years ago. I haven't heard from my comrades Jimbo, Whoop Whoop, or Brambleberry for a few months. Something just isn't right...

Fade to black.

Scene 2: What Happened to Willy?

Flash to a scene of a smoldering battleground.

• Narrator: This is where Willy was defeated. However, evil never dies. I am sure that he will be back. The question is, how soon? It may be right now, or it may be long after everyone else is dead.

A figure that looks like Willy rises out of the ground.

• Narrator: Okay, it's right now.

A creature that looks like a human in black robes, but with a ram's head and eagle's talons for hands, comes out of the darkness. This is Ding.

• A ding ding ding ding...: Rise, Willy, and be my servant.
• Willy on Wheels: (croaking) Never... You have no power over me...
• A ding ding ding ding...: Ah, but I have defeated your vandalizing record!
• Willy on Wheels: I must fight on! Vandalize more than you!
• A ding ding ding ding...: I don't think so.

Ding turns one talon into a claw and Willy gasps in pain, writhing.

• A ding ding ding ding...: You see, I just vandalized your heart. If you don't join me, you'll be dead in five minutes. Your choice.

Scene 3: Trouble in Emperor's Rock

Thekillerpenguin is at his classroom teaching a class of 6th graders about the history of the Alliance of Penguins, when suddenly bright red lights flash all around

• Loudspeaker: ARMED INTRUDERS HAVE BREACHED THE CAMPUS WALLS. PLEASE EVACUATE ALL STUDENTS TO THE BUNKERS.
• Students 1-20: *assorted screaming and curses in penguin language*

Music switches to this(Wait for the music to start.)

• Loudspeaker: ALL TEACHERS, ACTIVATE SECURITY BOTS, AND SEND 3 FOR EVERY CLASSROOM BEING EVACUATED.

The lights turn off except for the red flashing ones, while Thekillerpenguin presses a secret button in his desk. Bipedal security bots come out from hidden trapdoors in the floor, armed with various weapons. Three come out to escort the class while the others stay behind to guard the classroom. Thekillerpenguin activates his battle gear, and grabs a USP from his desk.

• Security Bot 1: INTRUDERS HAVE BEEN DETECTED IN THE HALLWAYS. ADVISE CAUTION.
• Security Bot 2: THREAT CONFIRMED.
• Security Bot 3: CONFIRMED.

Thekillerpenguin readies his USP, pointing it at the door. Zoom to his face, in a prepared expression.

• Thekillerpenguin: Grrrr.....

Fade to white.

Scene 4: More trouble in Emperor's Rock

Thekillerpenguin listens intently, and he hears the sound of security bots being destroyed. He activates his cloaking device, and peeks out if the classroom. He sees a figure in a black robe, with a ram's head and claws.

• Ding: Find Thekillerpenguin and finish him off! He's going to stop us if he lives! Go, Willy!

Thekillerpenguin headshots Willy and then promptly throws a salvo of feather-throwing-knives at his vital points, including the spot below the abdomen.

• Willy on Wheels: AHHHHH!!!!!!111!!!!11!!!ELEVEN!!

Willy drops to the floor, and Thekillerpenguin fires his pistol at Ding.

• Ding: NOT SO fast, penguin.

Ding performs a Matrix block in front of a stunned Thekillerpenguin.

• Ding: Didn't know I could do that, eh?

Thekillerpenguin activates his endorphin rush, and slams into Ding, while injecting him with a WikiVirus known as WoWDIE.

• Thekillerpenguin: That'll finish you, and any sockpuppets you might create!
• Willy on Wheels: *grumbles* serves you right...
• Ding: Sadly for you, I have an almost infinite supply of WoWDIE antidote. Sadly for Willy, it's already spread to him. Enjoy your slow and painful death.

Thekillerpenguin watches as Ding rushes down the hallway, leaving Willy behind.

• Thekillerpenguin: He's heading for the bunkers! Who knows whats he going to do to those students! CODE RED!

Fade to black.

Scene 5: Black & White

Brambleberry reaches the door and paws at it.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Grr. Locked.

Brambleberry backs up, scuffs at the ground, and charges toward the door. It loosens, so she goes back and does the same. This time the door opens and Brambleberry comes tumbling in. She stands up, shakes herself off, and licks her paw before trotting up to Thekillerpenguin.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: TKP! What happened?
• Thekillerpenguin: Ding came back. Here, to Emperor's Rock.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: We have to go.
• Thekillerpenguin: No, what about the students? Ding was heading for the bunkers!
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Have you seen what that man can do? We may be a bionic penguin and a WikiPuma, but we need backup! We need Whoop whoop and Jimbo!
• Thekillerpenguin: Do you have any idea where they are?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: No. A snowstorm blew us away. I went to Philadelphia, and figured I'd find you here. The other two I don't know.
• Thekillerpenguin: Well, we have to get started somewhere!
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: I think I may have an idea... I've tasted the other two, and I can track their scent. Jimbo is at the Tampa Tower, and Whoop Whoop might be there, too.

Scene 6: The Tower

The Council of Wikipedians is seated around a table in the Tampa Tower, with Jimbo at the head.

• Jimbo: Fellow Wikipedians, we have intel that a new vandal leader has emerged: Ding. He is even more dangerous than Willy on Wheels, and he appears to have enslaved Willy, too.

A hushed murmur goes off in the audience.

• Jimbo: We need more ways to defend against--

A loud explosion goes off in the distance. Music switches to This.

• P.A.: The perimeter has been breached. Please follow security protocols.

Vandal bots enter the room and slaughter some of the council members. Jimbo ducks under a table, and when the assailants aren't looking, he runs to the 20th floor, where a large helipad is conveniently located.

• Jimbo: Get a helicopter! Quick!
• Whoop Whoop pull up: I'm on it!

A helicopter arrives in 30 seconds.

• Jimbo: GET TO DA CHOPPA!

The survivors climb into the helicopter as it takes off. However, soon after, a rocket downs the bird.

• Pilot: WE'RE GOING DOWN!

The helicopter fall out of the sky spinning, and Jimbo opens the door.

• Jimbo: *hurks*
• Whoop Whoop pull up: Hey, jump out!

Music changes to Chariots of Fire Slow motion as Jimbo jumps out of the helicopter. He falls for a few feet, and catches a pistol that Whoop Whoop threw to him, and headshots a VandalBot about 10 feet above the ground, before landing on the carcass.

• Jimbo: OOOOOOFFFFF!

Jimbo runs, again, in slow motion, as artillery shells land behind him, and bullets fly by. He nearly gets hit by a vandal's banhammer (stolen from the tower), but he ducks just in time. He continues running to a bike a few meters away, while homing rockets fly toward him. Jimbo does a backflip, making the rockets miss. He is only a few inches away from the bike when the helicopter crashes, making the pilot and the people who didn't get out in the time fly out in the resulting explosion.

• Jimbo: GET TO DA CHOPPA!

Whoop Whoop pull up, who jumped out after Jimbo, boards another bike and they ride out of the tower grounds. Music switches to this.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: Jimbo, it's a battleground here, the vandals have taken over a few buildings! We still have three miles to go to the gate!
• Jimbo: Don't worry, We'll make it. I promise!

The two round a corner, narrowly escaping a Unencyclops.

• Jimbo: We'll take the side streets! There aren't many troops there! Plow through any vandals in the way!

They drive through the side streets, seeing glimpses of the battlefield. The Wikipedian forces were fighting to a stalemate, and the tower was burning from bomb attacks.

• Jimbo: One mile to go!
• Whoop Whoop pull up: They've hijacked Wiki Gear JIM!
• Jimbo: Ah, @%#$!
• (distantly) REVERT. No swearing.

Wiki Gear JIM attacks Jimbo and Whoop Whoop, firing machine guns and lasers their way. Music changes to this.

• Jimbo: Run under its legs!

By the time the Wiki Gear turns around, Jimbo and Whoop Whoop are half a mile away from the city.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: We made it!
• Jimbo: But we have to get back later! If we don't take back the city in a week, we're finished, and this time, once and for all.

Scene 7: What's Worse than the Troll Woods?

Brambleberry of RiverClan and Thekillerpenguin are walking through Wikipedia when Brambleberry of RiverClan stops.

• Thekillerpenguin: What are you doing?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: The road I thought we were going to take has been deleted, probably because of Ding. We have to go through...
• Thekillerpenguin: The troll woods?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: No, worse. The block log.

Both shudder.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: We just need to stay calm and hope that Ding hasn't reached them yet.
• Thekillerpenguin: If he has, when what do we do?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Well I suppose that instead of walking through that prison, we run.

Scene 8: The Hall of the Block Logs

The two Wikipedians cautiously walk in the block logs, but to their surprise, the facility is derelict. The security bots, however are still functioning.

• Thekillerpenguin: Wait here, I'll scout ahead.

He turns invisible, and walks through the hallways without a sound. However, the security bots' eyes are red, instead of the usual green.

• Thekillerpenguin: *thinking* The VandalVirus?

Thekillerpenguin's worst suspicion is confirmed, as in the security room, the chief has been shot dead by the bots, apparently. Thekillerpenguin comes over to inspect, and the computer has a vandal's USB stuck in it, presumably where the VandalVirus came from. He scans the computer, and finds that the virus has been active for a few hours.

• Thekillerpenguin: *Whispers* Brambleberry, the bots are infected with the VandalVirus.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: If we stay unseen, we won't have a problem.
• Thekillerpenguin: Actually, my cloaking device only hides me from view, and my armor hides me from thermal detection, but the bots use sonar, and I don't have a defense for that. I managed to sneak past when they weren't looking.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: How do we get past?
• Thekillerpenguin: Well, I suppose we start shooting things.

Scene 9: Block log escape

The duo attack and destroy several security bots as they run toward the rear exit. The security bots are still running after them.

• Thekillerpenguin: Quick, we need to get to the roa.....

The two are shocked to see that this path has been blocked as well.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Aww, how are we supposed to get to Tampa City now?! Wait, we could get there by plane!
• Thekillerpenguin: There aren't any planes up here, but I know a place that does have them: Penguin University.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Whaaaa?
• Thekillerpenguin: My old university! It's located in Antarctica, but I can get there in a few minutes.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: How do you do that?

Thekillerpenguin suddenly grows bigger, as mechanical transformation sound are heard. He transforms into a penguin-shaped hovercraft. The side door opens

• Thekillerpenguin (via radio): Hop in.

Scene 10: The Hogwarts Penguin University Express

Thekillerpenguin is cruising over the ocean at supersonic speed while in hovercraft form. He is heading for the Antarctic International Airport, the only place with access to Penguin university.

• Thekillerpenguin (via radio): We should be here right about... Now!

Thekillerpenguin opens his side door, and Brambleberry jumps out, as he converts back to a normal penguin.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: *hurks* Uggh, Worst...*hurks* Trip... *hurks* Ever...
• Thekillerpenguin: Well, we're here.

Thekillerpenguin walks over to what appears to be a subway station at the edge of the airport, underneath the ice.

• Thekillerpenguin: Brambleberry, this is the Underwater train, or U.T., and it's what we use to get to Penguin University. It's like a normal train, but it runs on two rails at the top of the train, with nothing on the bottom. Kind of like an underwater ski lift in how it travels.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: What if the rails break, and the carts fall down?
• Thekillerpenguin: It's only happened once or twice in its centuries-old time of service. OK, maybe more than that.

Thekillerpenguin walks up to the ticket box and gets two tickets for himself and Brambleberry for the ride to Penguin University on the Penguin University Express. In a few minutes, the U.T. arrives and they board the last compartment.

• Thekillerpenguin: Settle down, you can get a nice view of the ocean when it's running.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Are there any seats for WikiPumas?

Thekillerpenguin presses a button on the seats, which make them double as a spot to lie down.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Thanks. Any refreshments?
• Thekillerpenguin: At the end of the cart.

About ten minutes pass by as Brambleberry stares out of the window, marvelling at the underwater structure of both the airport and the natural rock formations. She also sees some krill and icefish swimming by.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Hey, what are those?

She points over to a few specks in the distance swimming toward the train.

• Thekillerpenguin: Hmm, wait a second.... THOSE ARE LEOPARD SEAL COMMANDOS!!!!

Music changes to This Brambleberry can now see that they are leopard seals, armed with rocket launchers and submachine guns. They are wearing a special suit with mechanical legs, and are also wearing body armor and helmets. One of the soldiers arms a torpedo cannon, and fires at the rail of the last compartment, and the explosion destroys part of the rail connector, the part of the train that connects the compartment to the rail. The compartment suddenly hangs precariously at an angle, swinging side to side, all while the compartment is still moving.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: We're just over a trench! At this point, one jump could dislodge the compartment. If we don't stop those leopard seals, we'll end up in Davy Jone's Locker! Mrrow, I really don't like water!

The conductor is trying to calm penguins down.

• Conductor: Calm down, penguins. We'll get this all sorted out in a little while.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Dockuin, is that you?
• Dockuin (conductor): Brambleberry?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: What happened to you?
• Dockuin: I got voted out two years ago, replaced by a penguin named Pospet. However, he refused to spend any money on fixing the train. Actually, the rail connecter was behaving a little strangely before, and so were the brakes.

The train screeches to a halt.

• Engineer: Cocks and hens, our brakes seem to be malfunctioning, but it's something that should get worked out in about thirty minutes to an hour. Just sit calmly.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: We're all going to die!

Scene 11: No, Just You

• Thekillerpenguin: No, just you. You can't swim.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: (pacing) This is not good, this is not good.
• Dockuin: Does she usually freak out on train rides?
• Thekillerpenguin: I think it's a cat thing.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: (stops pacing) The only way that we can survive is if you shoot them with a laser or something.
• Thekillerpenguin: Can't you do something?
• Dockuin: Does she look like she can do anything?
• Thekillerpenguin: Fine, I'll go, but if I fall you're going in after me. First thing, we have to take care of the commandos. Second order of business, we fix this connector.

Thekillerpenguin activates his stealth camouflage, and crawls out of the compartment in an airtight hatch. He swims over to where the leopard seals are, and, using underwater combat techniques, quickly stuns the one on the back by choking and swinging him around until he passes out.

• Thekillerpenguin: Huh, my combat teacher always said, "In water, no one can hear you scream!". Very true.

Thekillerpenguin's stealth camouflage runs out of power, just as he sneaks up on a leopard seal commando.

• Leopard Seal #1: LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!
• Leopard Seal #2: Good catch!

He fires at Thekillerpenguin with a tranquilizer dart as Thekillerpenguin attempts to peck his vital organs out. He manages to do so, but shortly afterwards succumbs to the tranquilizer and falls asleep.

• Thekillerpenguin: *penguin snoring sounds*
• Dockuin: Oh great, what are we gonna do now! We don't have any weapons!

A backup squad of leopard seals arrives about 20 feet away from the compartment, weapons armed. Suddenly, one of the rails keeping the train up snaps, leaving the compartment hanging on one rail and a broken connector only.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Uh oh....

Scene 12: Narrow Escape

Dockuin brings out a can of freezing spray from a hidden compartment.

• Dockuin: If I spray this enough on the rail connector, it will hold in place just enough for the rest of the journey. However, if you don't want me to get shot, you should fend off the leopard seals.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Great.

Dockuin swims out first to recover Thekillerpenguin, and he puts him inside the compartment to recover. Dockuin swims out again, but tells Brambleberry to swim out and cover him.

Music change, wait for it to start

• Dockuin: They're firing at me!
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: I'm trying to get them!

Brambleberry quickly swims to the attackers unnoticed, and then uses her Wiki-Powers to block them all, just as more are arriving in the distance.

• Dockuin: I'm almost done!... OWWW!

Dockuin gets shot in the arm, and he swims into the compartment into safety.

• Dockuin: You have to finish the spraying for me! Otherwise, we'll be all doomed, 'cause Thekillerpenguin's not awake yet!
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: I really don't like this, but OK!

Brambleberry swims over to the rail connector, and struggles to use the spray can, as her large paws do not fit.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: UGG, THIS WAS NOT MEANT FOR WIKIPUMAS TO USE!

Brambleberry of RiverClan eventually manages to get the spray to work with her teeth, though as the onslaught continues she must press harder with the spray. Eventually the top breaks off.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Oh no.

Immediately, the brakes lift and the train begins to move. Brambleberry of RiverClan quickly jumps inside a window. Thekillerpenguin begins to wake up and the leopard seals fall away as the train gains speed. However, a poisoned dart flies through an open window.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: (sniffs) Wait, I know who this is. (flehms) I know who this is. It's...
• Thekillerpenguin: Ding?
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Yep.

Scene 13: A day at Penguin University, Part 1

The train barely arrives in one piece at the station for Penguin University in the early morning. The moment all the passengers disembark, the rail connector blows up, and the train falls to the bottom of the ocean.

• Thekillerpenguin: That was close...

The duo head to the surface, and they see Penguin University. Penguin university is a large tower-like building 40 stories tall, and is located on a floating piece of land above a lake. Brambleberry picks up a brochure from a noticeboard. Uncommon for Antarctica, the temperature stays at a nice 70 degrees in the spring, summer, and fall, while it is really cold in the winter, according to the brochure.

• Thekillerpenguin: Hasn't changed much since I've been here.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Penguin technology is advanced enough to build a floating university?
• Thekillerpenguin: Us penguins mastered that 100 years ago.

Thekillerpenguin and Brambleberry head over to the shuttle car, a flying taxi-style vehicle, and fly over to the helipad. They head over to the lobby.

• Clerk: (In penguin-ese) Hello, what may I do for you?
• Thekillerpenguin: (In penguin-ese) We'd like to get an aircraft ready for us as soon as possible. I'm a former student here.

He shows the clerk his penguin I.D. card.

• Clerk: (In penguin-ese) We can have an aircraft ready by the evening. I've scheduled your flight. You can stay here until then in dorms 50 and 51. Have a nice day.
• Thekillerpenguin: Let's go, Brambleberry.

They take the long elevator ride up to the 20th floor, and they arrive at their given dorms.

• Thekillerpenguin: Your dorm is #51, and I'll be in 50, according to this ticket. Settle in, take a shower, and meet with me outside my door at 7:00.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: I hope they get the airplane ready ASAP, because we'll need it to get to Tampa City.

A hour passes by, and Thekillerpenguin is drinking wintergreen tea, a favorite of penguins, while Brambleberry is busy trimming her claws. At seven o' clock, Brambleberry knocks on Thekillerpenguin's dorm.

• Thekillerpenguin: You can head down to the cafeteria and have some drinks, and I'll bring down some breakfast.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: What? There isn't any food there?
• Thekillerpenguin: We penguins are supposed to be fishing for our own food. In each of our rooms, there is a porthole to the school tunnel system, which leads to the lake. At 7:10, we all go down the tunnel system to go through the bottom of the university, and into the lake it is floating over. Once we're done, we head to the kitchen to cook. Then we eat.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Must be tough.
• Thekillerpenguin: Well, it's our P.E. class.

Scene 14: A day at Penguin University, part 2

Thekillerpenguin opens the porthole in his room, and belly-slides down it. He slides down the tunnel for a few seconds, which exits to the edge of a room with ice slides everywhere in a spiral pattern. He passes many other students taking the same route, and continues down the spiral to a large vertical tunnel, with more penguins in there. He accelerates down the end of the tunnel, and straight into the lake.

• Thekillerpenguin: WOHOO, JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!

He spears a few WikiTrout with his beak, and catches several squid. However, as he is putting his squid into his second storage stomach, he notices what appears vaguely to be a vandalbot in the distance.

• Thekillerpenguin: I must be seeing things.

He gets out of the lake and hails a shuttle to the kitchen helipad, and regurgitates the his catch from his second (clean) stomach. He cooks, and brings two plates of braised WikiTrout and fried calamari to Brambleberry.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Hey, where did you keep your catch? I didn't see you take it in.

Thekillerpenguin considers the fact that she probably wouldn't want to hear it had been carried in his stomach, albeit a clean one.

• Thekillerpenguin: Uhhh, in my internal backpack?
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: OK?...

They eat for a few minutes, and toward the end of their meal, they notice a group of students looking out of the window. Thekillerpenguin walks over.

• Thekillerpenguin: Wait a second, THOSE ARE VANDALBOTS!

Music change All the penguins in the cafeteria start screaming and running towards the exit.

• Thekillerpenguin: We have got to notify Headmaster Pean!

Thekillerpenguin radios Pean about the situation.

• Pean: I'll try to notify the Emperor about this!

A few tense seconds pass by.

• Pean: Darnit, Pospet won't agree!

A sound of a fight in the headmaster's room is hear over the radio, and Pospet uses the P.A. system.

• Pospet: All students, return to your activities. It is a false alarm.
• Thekillerpenguin: What? Are you mad! We can all see them from here!
• Pospet: LIES!
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: What do you think you are, the Ministry of Magic?
• Pospet: Actually, the Ministry of Education. The penguins must not believe of such lies of vandalbots or vandals!
• Thekillerpenguin: OK, so you are mad!

Pospet sheds his skin and reveals himself to be a vandalbot as well.

• Pospet: Vandalbots, attack!

The Vandalbots charge.

• Thekillerpenguin: So, what did you major in at WikiPuma University? Fighting VandalBots?
• Bramblebery of RiverClan: Actually, veterinary science with a minor in creative writing.
• Thekillerpenguin: WikiPuma University must be different than penguin.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: What did you major in?
• Thekillerpenguin: Fighting vandalism, with a minor in grammar fixing. Well, I'm going to give you a chance to get your degree in vandalbot fighting right now.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Oh no, is it finals already? I didn't study!
• Thekillerpenguin: Too bad, it's 100% of your grade.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: And failing is death.

Scene 15: The Battle of Penguin University

Battle of Penguin University
A group of penguin survivors retreat from the University.
Date March 1, 2021 Location Penguin University Result Unencyclopedian victory
Belligerents
Alliance of Penguins	Unencyclopedian army
Commanders and leaders
Pean Warlic	Ding
Units involved
Students, Security guards, Security shuttles	Vandalbots, Tanks, Dramapedian ROFLcopters, bombers
Strength
800 students, 150 security guards, 25 security shuttles	500 vandalbots, 50 tanks, 40 Dramapedian ROFLcopters, 2 bombers
Casualties and losses
75 students, 150 security guards, 23 security shuttles	100 vandalbots, 10 tanks, 20 ROFLcopters, 1 bomber
Most of the students managed to evacuate.

Vandalbots rise out of the lake and ground and start assaulting the University, while tanks, bombers, and Dramapedian ROFLcopters start their bombardment.

• Pean: All security guards, get armed and activate security bots!
• Security guards 1-150: We're on it, sir!

30 security guards evacuate the students to the shuttle station besides the lake via an energy bridge, while the other 120 activate the security bots and hop into the security shuttles. The camera focuses on a certain group in Shuttle 13, which is cruising along the grounds, looking for any aircraft.

• Security guard 49: Are there any ROFLcopters on this side?
• Security guard 13: Do you see any ROFLcopters?!
• Security guard 1337: Yeah, over here.
• Security guard 49: Wait, there are only 150 penguin security guards here! Where did you come from, 1337?
• Security guard 1337: Exactly. I'm not a security guard. *evil laugh*

Security guard 1337 presses a button on his watch, and reveals himself to be a PPA agent, which stands for Popset's Personal Army. He takes out a Desert Eagle and kills both number 49 and 13. He proceeds to kick out their bodies and hijacks the shuttle. He spots several shuttles coming his way.

• Security guard 1337: WHO WANTS SOME OF THIS!?!?!!!

Security guard 1337 uses the shuttle's mounted chaingun to gun down several shuttles, and uses homing rockets the finish off the rest. Having destroyed 5 shuttles already, he does an air raid on the energy bridge to the shuttle station, killing several late students.

• Security guard 1337: MWAHAHAHA!

Thekillerpenguin and Brambleberry notice the mad security guard, and Thekillerpenguin's face suddenly cringes with anger.

• Thekillerpenguin: JUKUIN!!!
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Who's that?
• Thekillerpenguin: The school bully when I was at penguin university! He did horrible things to me, and he got away with them!
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Like ol' Draco Malfoy, eh?
• Thekillerpenguin: More or less.
• Jukuin: Oh, the tin man's here! Long time no see, huh? *trollface*
• Thekillerpenguin: I'd stop smiling, if I were you, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA RIP IT OFF YOUR FACE!
• Jukuin: *even bigger trollface* Catch me if you can! Which you probably won't!
• Thekillerpenguin: RRRAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!111!!!!ELEVEN!!!!

Thekillerpenguin jumps out of the window, rocket feet activated, to chase after Jukuin, leaving Brambleberry alone. She turns around to notice that there are several Vandalbots in the room with knives right behind here.

• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Oh, you call those knives? NOW THIS IS A KNIFE, MY FRIENDS!

Brambleberry uses her WikiPowers to change her claws into giant swords, and springs into the vandalbots. Several fight scenes are shown, and finally Brambleberry is shown panting amongst bodies. Thekillerpenguin finally comes in.

• Thekillerpenguin: Jukuin is finally finished. Now for the planes.

Brambleberry and Thekillerpenguin both walk down the corridors to where the planes are kept, but when they open the doors there is nothing there.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Of COURSE! How could I be so dúr? Some students and teachers would have escaped the university in the planes!
• Thekillerpenguin: There must be another way.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: I may have an idea.

Scene 16: The Writers' Tribe

Brambleberry of RiverClan leads Thekillerpenguin into a place where WikiPumas of all shapes and colors roam inside a horseshoe-shaped rock formation. The music in the background is this.

• Thekillerpenguin: I'm still wondering how exactly we got here.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: As a WikiPuma, I can travel to my tribe in the blink of an eye. My tribe is the Writer's Tribe, as we are known for writing articles or drastically expanding them.
• Thekillerpenguin: So what is this exactly?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: While the penguin world may be Harry Potter-based, the puma world is a combination of the Warriors series and Ratha's Creature, or the Books of the Named series. We are, however, more technologically aware than either the Warrior cats or the Named. I am the praetor, or leader. My second-in-command is a rex, that's Shadowflame of ThunderClan here. We have a healer that we refer to as a medens. From there, we split the "warriors", who are more like hunters, into two groups: ecus, who herd horses for slaughter, and tarandrus, who herd deer and elk. When our kits grow up, they do an internship period for either the ecus or the tarandrus. Interns for the ecus are asella, and interns for the tarandrus are hinnuleus.
• Thekillerpenguin: And what about the university you mentioned?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: All tribes are mixed in together at the building over there. (she acknowledges a university that eerily looks like Harvard)
• Thekillerpenguin: So, what are we doing here?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Two tarandri were working on something while I was gone that may be useful. Follow me.

Scene 17: Wikipedians in the Wild

Jimbo and Whoop Whoop are seen trudging along outside Tampa City, with gunfire raging in the distance. Both are pained with hunger and exhaustion.

• Jimbo: Isn't there anything here to eat?
• Whoop Whoop pull up: The only things that grow here are ivy and cypress, neither of which is edible. Anything that was edible has been destroyed by the vandalbots.
• Jimbo: Any meat?
• Whoop Whoop pull up: Nope. The vandalbots killed all the Wikitrout. Nothing else here to eat.
• Jimbo: We'll have to wander around here.

The two Wikipedians walk around for half an hour, and they eventually reach a clearing with a box in the middle.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: Why is there a box here?
• Jimbo: This looks like the one we used years ago. I'll open it.

Jimbo opens the box and finds a note. The note says to climb inside.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: How do you climb into a box as small as this?
• Jimbo: Just do it.

Jimbo hops into the box, and reveals a large command center inside. Whoop Whoop pull up hops in too.

• Jimbo: Wait, I know these runes. They were formed by the claws of WikiPumas!
• Whoop whoop pull up: WikiPumas?

Suddenly Brambleberry of RiverClan and Thekillerpenguin jump in, landing on Jimbo and Whoop whoop pull up.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: This command center has been the subject of ten year's manual labor. It can only be operated by a WikiPuma, so I will have to captain.
• Jimbo: Murraph.

Brambleberry of RiverClan and Thekillerpenguin look to see Jimbo and Whoop whoop and step back, allowing the humans to breathe.

• Whoop whoop pull up: Wait, this is owned by WikiPumas?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Yes, made to be a WikiPuma's version of the one you used years ago.
• Jimbo: Forget that, I'm just happy to see you two!
• Thekillerpenguin: Yes, that's wonderful, but we need to stop Ding!
• Jimbo: I don't think we're going to in this movie... er, (looks at script) I don't think we're going to this time, but we can weaken him.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Jimbo's right. We'll need to get others to help us, though.
• Thekillerpenguin: I know just who.

Scene 18: Just Who

Thekillerpenguin, Whoop whoop, Brambleberry, and Jimbo stand in the command center as TKP tells them who he knows of.

• Thekillerpenguin: I have received information from one of our partisans that one of the vandals is defecting.
• Whoop whoop pull up: But no vandal has ever defected before!
• Thekillerpenguin: Well, one of them is now. This will be a major victory for us. In fact, he should be coming right...

Knock on the door

• Thekillerpenguin:...now!

Thekillerpenguin goes over to the door and opens it. Suddenly, all four Wikipedians' mouths fall open in amazement.

• All: Willy on Wheels?!?!?!

Sure enough, an exhausted, emaciated Willy on Wheels staggers through the door and collapses into a chair.

• Whoop whoop pull up: We knew that Ding had marginalized you...but this?!
• Willy on Wheels: Ding had seized control of the vandals. He tortured me. He tried to kill me. He made Wikipedia a better deal than today's Uncyclopedia. And so... Here I am.
• Whoop whoop pull up: You were right, Thekillerpenguin. This is a major victory.
• Thekillerpenguin: Well, you know what they say, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend".

They start asking Willy about the current condition of the vandals. He gives them much up-to-date and highly important information. Suddenly, a siren starts screaming. A red ceiling light begins to flash. Music switch

• All: Oh, no. Here they come!
• Vandal 1: Put your hand where we can see them! Actually, scratch that, WE'LL KILL YOU ALL!

Scene 19: The Vandal-bricked Road to Unencyclopedia

• Thekillerpenguin: Good luck with that...

Thekillerpenguin flips out his flipper-blades and slices up the vandal, while more enter the room. Thekillerpenguin tranquilizes Willy and puts him into a closet.

• Thekillerpenguin: Just in case he wants to double-cross us.

The group fights a horde of incoming vandals for a few minutes when a rescue VTOL comes over.

• Jimbo: This one better not blow up!
• Thekillerpenguin: These VTOLs are built to last.

All four Wikipedians drag an unconscious Willy onto the VTOL as Brambleberry finishes off the last vandal. The VTOL heads all the way over to a small penguin outpost in an island in the Caribbean.

• Thekillerpenguin:Unencyclopedia is only a few hours away from here. We strike at midnight. For now, we'll prepare.

After eating a substandard meal of salted herring and aged sparkling water, the moon comes out.

• Thekillerpenguin: Time to go. We'll head on an old road built by a few Wikipedians. Legend says that they were possessed by the spirit of the vandal, and they then built Unencyclopedia.
• Whoop Whoop pull up: That's a very famous legend among Wikipedians.

Switches to the same animation style as "The Tale of the Three Brothers" in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 as Brambleberry narrates.

• Brambleberry of RiverClan: A few Wikipedians whose names have been forever erased set out to become the greatest bureaucrats in the history of Wikipedia. They moved up the ranks, gaining every privilege, and finally the spirit of the vandal grew afraid of them because of their vandalism record. Legend says that the spirit of the vandal has a ram's head, eagle talons, and a forked tongue.
• Whoop whoop pull up: Just like Ding, though I haven't seen a forked tongue!
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: We'll find out later if he has a forked tongue. Let me continue my story. The spirit of the vandal realized that the best way to beat your enemy was to turn them into a friend, so he possessed the Wikipedians and had them turn against Jimbo. Jimbo banished them, and the spirit of the vandal showed them Uncyclopedia, but it was impossible to get there. So they built a road. They died as soon as it was completed, however, and therefore never saw Uncyclopedia.

Scene 20: Cycle of the WereWikiPuma

As the moon gets higher in the sky, the Wikipedians notice a change in Brambleberry, whose fur is growing shaggy and on end, and she begins to stand on her hind legs.

• Whoop whoop pull up: Um, Brambleberry?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: What?
• Whoop whoop pull up: You're transforming.
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: Oh no, not tonight.
• Jimbo Wales: What?
• Brambleberry of RiverClan: I'm a WereWikiPuma! I'm filled with a blinding rage every full moon. We need to keep walking so my rage is enacted upon the Uncyclopedians instead of you! Faster!
• Thekillerpenguin: Actually, I have a better idea.

He takes out a syringe and injects Brambleberry with a anti-friendly-fire serum.

• Thekillerpenguin: That should hold her in place for a while.

The Wikipedians all trudge along the long road when they hear the ominous sounds of trolls feeding up ahead. Music change

• Jimbo: Uh oh...

As the group quietly crawls past a bush, a gruesome scene unfolds. Many hollow, empy shells of Wikipedians, fed on by trolls, are sitting at the bottom of the riverbed, lifeless.

• Thekillerpenguin: Don't let the trolls get to you. They'll suck the life out of you.

As the troll is done feeding, Whoop Whoop slits its throat. It stumbles around for a few seconds, its throat spraying blood, before collapsing. As the group advances, they encounter an vandal camp.

• Vandal 1: What do you think Ding's up to?
• Vandal 2: Something even the generals aren't allowed to know the details about.
• Vandal 3: I heard through the grapevine that it included four Wikipedians. I don't know anything else.

Jimbo takes out a Golden Gun. The rest of the group storm the camp. A few minutes later, they retrieve some documents from the command center.

• Jimbo: Funny how to lower vandals respect authority. Hmmm, this talks about a cloning project, and they're cloning...

Suddenly, sleeping gas fills the room and the whole entire group is knocked out.

Scene 21: Secret Weapons

Music change The group awakens in an enclosed prison room, in chains, and with all their weapons stripped from them. A small computer screen in the opposite part of the room has Ding's horrid face.

• Ding: Rise and shine, gentlemen and women. Would you like to witness my creations?

A door opens and trolls grab all of them by the arms and lead them briskly through a detention facility, leading them into a cloning facility. Divided into four sections, there are clones of Jimbo, Whoop Whoop, Brambleberry, and Thekillerpenguin all in tanks, and the "failures" are disposed in an incinerator.

• Thekillerpenguin: So you want to clone us, eh?
• Troll: Shut up.

The path leads outside, where cheering crowds of vandals await. They spit and throw spitballs at the captive Wikipedians, as four culture tubes are seen in the distance. They are forced to march for miles, until they reach the culture tubes. Inside, are exact clones of Whoop Whoop, Brambleberry, Jimbo, and Thekillerpenguin, except with all red eyes.

• Ding: Behold, the les éditeurs de terribles project was a success!

The culture tubes open up, and the Evil editors hop out.

• Ding: Evil Jimbo, would you like the pleasure of executing these puny Wikipedians?

Jimbo, Whoop Whoop, Brambleberry, and Thekillerpenguin are forced onto their knees as Evil Jimbo preps his Desert Eagle.

• Evil Jimbo: Ah, the Desert Eagle, a favorite of my fellow vandals, .50 cal, 8 rounds, more than enough to kill anything that moves.
• Thekillerpenguin: Who are you, Revolver Ocelot?
• Troll: Shut up.

As Evil Jimbo points his gun at Jimbo's head, right before he pulls the trigger, a massive explosion in the distance goes off as Wiki Gear JIM destroys a building.

• Ding: What in the world...

Suddenly, Theopolisme pokes his head out of the cockpit of Wiki Gear.

• Theopolisme: Hey, I pulled this out of Ding's hands!
• Ding: Hey, no wonder Wiki Gear JIM disappeared a week ago!

Theopolisme charges up JIM's laser.

• Wiki Gear JIM AI: IMA FIRING MAH LAZOR!

The laser clears away a considerable amount of vandals, as all the others rush to the armory to get their weapons. Theopolisme clears away the bonds of the Wikipedians.

• Theopolisme: Jimbo, Whoop Whoop, you'll have to go with me to take back Tampa City. Thekillerpenguin, Brambleberry, you'll have to stop Ding's plan.
• Thekillerpenguin: Sounds simple enough.
• Theopolisme: OK then, let's go!

Scene 22: Taking Back Tampa City

Jimbo and Whoop Whoop Pull Up are hanging onto Wiki Gear JIM, piloted by Theopolisme. The machine, a bipedal tank, is slowly trudging towards Tampa City. When they get to a supply depot, Jimbo and Whoop Whoop hop off and get into a small pickup truck piloted by members of the local Wikipedian resistance.

• Theopolisme: I'll blast a hole in the vandal's defenses, and you can get in.
• Jimbo: Got it.

Music change once again. As the truck follows Wiki Gear JIM into the outskirts of Tampa City, the passengers realize that all the vegetation has died out, leaving a barren wasteland, complete with ruins of buildings, sand, and the occasional tumbleweed. Gunfire rages in the distance, mixed with screams from both sides. As the truck passes through a checkpoint, a makeshift refuge camp is seen, with many newbies cowering from the conflict, while the toughened veteran editors look grimly at the battle ahead.

• Whoop Whoop: We were gone for less than two days, and Tampa City turns into this.

The truck continues to outside the walls of the main city, where the passengers disembark and the truck is blasted apart by a stray rocket, killing the driver and a few slow editors. Whoop Whoop and Jimbo take cover behind a wall. Jimbo tosses a few grenades while Whoop Whoop takes out a sniper rifle. The troops within the city walls are getting slaughtered, and one by one, the passengers of the truck are all mowed down under machine gun fire. Another truck with reinforcements arrives, but they suffer the same fate.

• Jimbo: We're not going to last much longer if it keeps on going like this. We need a plan.
• Whoop Whoop: Do we have any nukes left?
• Jimbo: No, apparently they were sacked.

This time an attack chopper arrives, and destroys a crowd of Unencyclopedians, but after its string of victories, an Unencyclops grabs it and tears it into two, tossing the wreckage onto the ground.

• Editor: Darn, that was our last helicopter, not counting the Foundation ones!
• Jimbo: OK, this really isn't going well.

Meanwhile Wiki Gear JIM is storming a vandal safehouse. A vandal launches a rocket at the computer systems, temporarily stunning the mech while an Unencyclops approaches.

• Theopolisme: Come on, work!

The Unencyclops gets closer.

• Theopolisme: OH, FOR JIMBO'S SAKE, WORK!

Strangely, Wiki Gear JIM does power up. Theopolisme fires a laser at the Unencyclops, cutting it into two. However, more reinforcements and more Unencyclops take its toll on the three year old bipedal tank. As the armor is torn away, a figure approaches.

• Theopolisme: It's Evil Jimbo!
• Evil Jimbo: Yup, you guessed it. Now I'm here to finish you.

He draws his Desert Eagle and aims at the fragile exposed power core. Fade to black as several gunshots are heard, followed by an loud explosion.

Scene 23: The Final Hour, Part I

Music change. At a resistance hideout, the sounds of cannons raging above, Jimbo and Whoop Whoop pull up are at a table discussing the situation.

• Jimbo: If we retreat now, the resistance will get absolutely eliminated.
• Whoop Whoop pull up: If we don't retreat, we'll die too.
• Jimbo: What do you think is more important?
• Whoop Whoop pull up: It is a hard decision...
• Resistance member: We've prepared a tank.
• Jimbo: We'll have to make do with what we have in order to evacuate. Destroy Vandal Gear WOW first, or else we'll never escape!
• Whoop Whoop pull up: They rebuilt it?!
• Jimbo: Yup.

As Whoop Whoop walks outside, the resistance member shows her the "tank", which is in reality an old beaten-up minivan with a medieval cannon stuck in the front in a smashed hole.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: YOU CALL THIS A TANK?
• Resistance member: We're on a shoestring budget. The cannon is the most powerful thing we have, even though it is an old medieval one that can't punch a hole in tank armor.

The resistance member gets into the drivers seat, and Whoop Whoop gets into the passenger seat, the dashboard of which has been smashed and hollowed out to make room for the cannon.

• Resistance member: You'll have to load it up after every shot. The cannonballs and black gunpowder are in the back. Uhhh... before you start asking, the cannonballs are footballs filled with lead.
• Whoop Whoop pull up:....
• Resistance member: Let's go!

He floors the pedal, which takes ten seconds to accelerate, and starts driving slowly along the side roads, toward the sound of missiles, the occasional nuke, and lasers, until they reach a small courtyard where Vandal Gear is on a rampage, busy stomping on the remainder of a squad of resistance, who in vain try to damage Vandal Gear WOW with their pistols. They are swarmed by a horde of vandals, hacking and slashing with kitchen knives, leaving only a bloody heap left.

• Resistance member: AUGGGGHHHH, that was my friend there!

Vandal Gear, piloted by Evil Jimbo, turns around and sees the "tank".

• Evil Jimbo: This is too easy.

He attempts to stomp the car, but it misses by a millimeter. The "tank" circles around, and Whoop Whoop fires the cannon at Vandal Gear's leg, which does absolutely nothing but make a small dent.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: We're not destroying it that way.

Suddenly, hordes of trolls charge toward the battered vehicle, quickly turning it into a hunk of metal with an engine. The resistance member is killed. Whoop Whoop clenches her teeth and takes the wheel.

• Whoop Whoop pull up: I knew it would come to this, but here goes!

She charges the tank into the last remaining pillar supporting the Tampa Tower, and sacrifices herself as the last pillar falls and the whole tower topples, right onto Vandal Gear.

• Jimbo: Whoop Whoop! Respond! I'm not getting your signal! Whoop? WWHHOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!

However, a few minutes later, a battered Wikipedian rises out of the rubble. It is Whoop.

Scene 24: The Final Hour, Part II

Music Change. Brambleberry and Thekillerpenguin are standing at a bridge in front of a detention facility in Unencyclopedia.

• Thekillerpenguin: If we can free everybody in there, we'd have a lot of allies. Half of everyone is stuck in prison, and the other half there are getting shocked until they pledge eternal loyalty to Ding. We're running out of time.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: We'll have to destroy the force field generators before we get anything out. Problem is, the facility is really tall, and the force field generators are at the top.

Thekillerpenguin thinks for a minute.

• Thekillerpenguin: A long time ago, the penguins used a zeppelin mounted with rockets to destroy a platoon of leopard seals. There's a few airfields nearby.
• Brambleberry of Riverclan: Let's go.

As they sneak toward the airfield, they find a big zeppelin and several missiles and rockets nearby.

• Thekillerpenguin: It's our lucky day.

They mount the weapons and climb in.

• Thekillerpenguin: We only have enough fuel for five minutes of flight. We have to make it count.

The zeppelin takes off as Brambleberry aims the rockets at the generators.

Main End Credits

• Written By: ^{Brambleberry of RiverClan} _meow

Soundtrack

Wikipedia I: The Movie

Wikipedia II: The Users Strike Back

Wikipedia III: Revenge of Jimbo

Wikipedia IV: Attack of the Vandals

Wikipedia V: Brambleberry's Journey

Wikipedia VI: The Last Editor

Rogue Vandal: A Wikipedian Story

Wikipedia: The Musical

Movies in bold are completed; movies in italics are still under construction.

Spinoffs:

None