This is a humorous essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously.

Shortcuts WP:STFU WP:STHU WP:SHUTUP

This page in a nutshell: If you find yourself arguing over something pointless, the best thing to do is to drop it and move on, even if you 'lose'.

Many a Wikipedian has found themselves in a very pointless debate over something equivalently as pointless, such as the color of a template, declaring that someone is a 'pizza cheese jihadist', or caring if something is in bold text or not. Most times, these debates usually die off when the crusaders realize that nobody cares (unless someone is obsessed enough to revive it). However, debates can quickly devolve into insults, prolonged edit wars, or comparing the opponent to Adolf Hitler. To prevent this, if you find yourself or a loved one engaging in a pointless debate, it is best to step away from the keyboard and do something productive, or in other words, shut the hell up.

Besides the fact that is often deeply annoying to anyone (usually including yourself), many undesirable things can happen if you don't step away from the keyboard every once in a while. These (in increasing order of severity) include, but are not limited to:

• Mild annoyance
• Chronic time-wasting
• Constant notifications
• Possible mocking from others
• Getting squished by a whale
• Mild to severe edit warring
• General page chaos (see WP:LIGHTBULB)
• Potential block or ban
• Spot on Wikipedia:Lamest edit wars