Here is a transcript of an interview by my friend Lazlo Toth.

HEROSTRATUS: Well, I'm here with my friend Lazlo Toth, and he's going interview me with some questions about Wikipedia. Wait, is this on?
LAZLO TOTH: The red light is on.
HEROSTRATUS: OK. I think it's recording.
LAZLO TOTH: Of course, in our day you could see the tape spin.
HEROSTRATUS: Right, well, let's begin then. Are you ready?
LAZLO TOTH: Yes, ready.
HEROSTRATUS: Well, let's go then. First question.
LAZLO TOTH: What do you think are your greatest weaknesses as an administrator?
HEROSTRATUS: (laughs) Start me off easy, eh? Well, let's see. I guess... I just don't do that much administering. I should do more. It's not harmful to have a relatively inactive administrator, unless perhaps as a poor example to the others, but not that helpful either. I'm terrible at fighting vandals, as my reflexes are too slow, and my equipment is so decrepit I can barely run my browser let alone concurrent apps. I don't like to block people although I do sometimes. My grasp on policy is not nearly what it should be, especially after having been away for two years. I mean, I understand basic core policies, but I often have to look up details.
LAZLO TOTH: What are your greatest strengths as an administrator?
HEROSTRAUS: (silence)
LASLO TOTH: Well?
HEROSTRASTUS: I'm not sure I have any to be honest. I have some strengths as an editor, although some glaring weaknesses also. But as an administrator... strengths in actually applying the admin tools... I don't know.
LAZLO TOTH: Well, do you even think that you should be an administrator, then? And why do you even want to be?
HEROSTRATUS: (pause) Well, I didn't ask to be an administrator. But now that I am, I don't want it taken away. It would be a humiliation. And I do enjoy it. And I do contribute. It's not like I do nothing. (pause) "Should" I be an administrator? Well, if this was my first RfA, it would perforce focus on my editing, I guess, which is -- OK, I guess. You know, 16,000 edits, almost always civil, engages the newbies, and so forth... but since I now have an admin track record... I don't know. I would vote for myself, I guess.
LAZLO TOTH: Well, Dave, that's hardly a glowing testimony.
HEROSTRATUS: Jesus, don't use my real name, Lazlo. You know that there are people trying to discover my true identity, apparently to put me in harm's way.
LAZLO TOTH: And that's why the biographical information on your user page is obscured, isn't it? But what's with all the joking? You do understand that I lot of people find that sort of thing both juvenile and loathsome.
HEROSTRATUS: Yes I do understand that, Lazlo. I... I've been cracking wise since first form, and I basically can't help it. I'm just that way.
LAZLO TOTH: Well, you could erase that section of your user page right now. I mean, Dave, the f****** ArbCom chastised you for this. This sort of thing is probably going to cost you your adminship, you know, and maybe your editorship eventually. Do you not understand the meaning of the phrase lack of proper deportment?
HEROSTRATUS: Yes, I've been hearing that phrase since I can remember. And it'll probably be in my eulogy, if people like me get eulogies, which I don't think we do. So yes, yes I could delete it... I don't know. I'm stubborn, I guess. I'm not a banker and refuse to pretend to be one, I guess. I am who I am.
LAZLO TOTH: No, you're certainly not a banker.
HEROSTRATUS: (laughs)
LAZLO TOTH: So what do you think of the administrator recall process in general, and this recall in particular?
HEROSTRATUS: I think that every admin should be forced to be subject to recall. It would keep them honest. In fact, I think every admin should have to undergo a new RfA every few years, if we had the resources for that, which we don't. But this particular recall? I think it's bush-league bull****. What do you want me to say? Recall should be for being rude to newbies, for going on a power trip, for being uncivil, or hurtful, or for abuse of admin rights, that sort of thing. I don't do any of that. But, you know it's up to the community. Maybe I'm wrong.
LAZLO TOTH: OK. Let's see... What do you think are some of the biggest challenges facing Wikipedia today?
HEROSTRATUS: Well, I... (pause) I don't want to answer that. Tomorrow Is The Future. It's not germane.
LAZLO TOTH: Right. Fair enough. Well, anything else you want to say?
HEROSTRATUS: (pause) Well, I hope I don't get de-adminned...
LAZLO TOTH: I hope you don't, too.
HEROSTRATUS: Thanks, but...
LAZLO TOTH: Just because our bar bill will go up...
HEROSTRATUS: Right, um, but...
LAZLO TOTH: Sorry, go ahead.
HEROSTRATUS: But I'd rather not be an admin than be a bad admin, you know? If the community thinks I'm a bad admin, that's OK. I don't like bad admins and don't want to be one.
LAZLO TOTH: You f****** liar. You'd eat dirt to get to stay an admin, wouldn't you? What the hell else have you got going on in your life?
HEROSTRATUS: Jeez, whose side are you on?
LAZLO TOTH: You asked me to be truthful and impartial, remember?
HEROSTRATUS: Yeah, but I was sober then. Anyway, you're supposed to ask questions, not spout your own opinions. (sulks)
LAZLO TOTH: Sorry.
HEROSTRATUS: Can we finish this?
LAZLO TOTH: OK. (pause) One last thing. As we've noted, there's a big gap in your resume. You were almost entirely absent for two years. Can you explain this?
HEROSTRATUS: The truth? The Board of Selectmen of the Tri-County Area asked me to not edit Wikipedia during this time, is all. I was not in any legal trouble whatsover; they'd simply had quite enough of my nonsense. I didn't have to honor their request, but my cousin, the Duke of Cornwall, is State Commissar of the local Soviet, so I agreed, if only to avoid trouble with the Union Corse. I refuse to say more.I think it would be better if I not answer that question.
LAZLO TOTH: OK, that's it then. (pause) How do you turn this off?
HEROSTRATUS: I think it's this bu