Ted Bundy
- A script has been used to generate a semi- automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
...Ted Bundy is probably the most famous serial killer in American history and one of the most famous ever. I have put quite a bit of effort into the article over time, drawing from six different Ted Bundy books and drawing heavily from four books. Ideally, I would like this to be a Good Article or even a feature article. My purpose at this time is to draw input and suggestions for improvement towards that end.
Thanks, Vidor ( talk) 18:24, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth ( talk · contribs)
- You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, and my first suggestion would be to get your references into order. A number of your website references lack publisher and/or last access dates, which are the bare minimum needed for WP:V. Books need publisher, author, and page number on top of title. When you've got those mostly straightened out, drop me a note on my talk page and I'll be glad to come back and look at the actual sources themselves, and see how they look in terms of reliability, like I would at FAC. 13:49, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.
- The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - expand this to three or four paragraphs. Please see WP:LEAD
- Article needs more references, for example the first paragraph of University years or this whole part On October 18, 1974, Bundy murdered Melissa Smith, the 17-year-old daughter of Midvale police chief Louis Smith; Bundy raped, sodomized, and strangled her. Her body was found nine days later. Next was Laura Aime, also 17, who disappeared when she left a Halloween party in Lehi, Utah on October 31, 1974; her naked, beaten and strangled corpse was found nearly a month later by hikers on Thanksgiving Day, on the banks of a river in American Fork Canyon. or most of the list of Victims. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
- As noted above, internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{ cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
- Per WP:MOS#Images, images should be set to thumb width to allow reader preferences to take over. For portrait format images, "upright" can be used to make the image narrower. I also note that the article has four fair use images, as well as several free images - does this meet WP:NFCC?
- There are at least three blockquotes, but per WP:MOSQUOTE they should be at least four lines of text (two are less than this on my screen). One has no ref either.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:13, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
Ted Bundy
- A script has been used to generate a semi- automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
...Ted Bundy is probably the most famous serial killer in American history and one of the most famous ever. I have put quite a bit of effort into the article over time, drawing from six different Ted Bundy books and drawing heavily from four books. Ideally, I would like this to be a Good Article or even a feature article. My purpose at this time is to draw input and suggestions for improvement towards that end.
Thanks, Vidor ( talk) 18:24, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Ealdgyth ( talk · contribs)
- You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, and my first suggestion would be to get your references into order. A number of your website references lack publisher and/or last access dates, which are the bare minimum needed for WP:V. Books need publisher, author, and page number on top of title. When you've got those mostly straightened out, drop me a note on my talk page and I'll be glad to come back and look at the actual sources themselves, and see how they look in terms of reliability, like I would at FAC. 13:49, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.
- The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way - expand this to three or four paragraphs. Please see WP:LEAD
- Article needs more references, for example the first paragraph of University years or this whole part On October 18, 1974, Bundy murdered Melissa Smith, the 17-year-old daughter of Midvale police chief Louis Smith; Bundy raped, sodomized, and strangled her. Her body was found nine days later. Next was Laura Aime, also 17, who disappeared when she left a Halloween party in Lehi, Utah on October 31, 1974; her naked, beaten and strangled corpse was found nearly a month later by hikers on Thanksgiving Day, on the banks of a river in American Fork Canyon. or most of the list of Victims. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
- As noted above, internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{ cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
- Per WP:MOS#Images, images should be set to thumb width to allow reader preferences to take over. For portrait format images, "upright" can be used to make the image narrower. I also note that the article has four fair use images, as well as several free images - does this meet WP:NFCC?
- There are at least three blockquotes, but per WP:MOSQUOTE they should be at least four lines of text (two are less than this on my screen). One has no ref either.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:13, 13 October 2008 (UTC)