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This peer review discussion is closed. |
I had initially sent this to PR last year, but since then, I've added more to the article and sent this to GA. However, I am not sure if this meets GA criteria. Listed below are my concerns:
If anyone can answer my concerns and give advice to help me improve the article, that would be great. Spinixster (chat!) 07:10, 15 February 2024 (UTC)
General:
Lead:
Development:
by people Hader and Mulaney had encountered– I'd specify where they encountered them (e.g. "in their daily lives"). Right now it could be read as them specifically seeking out people to inspire the character. Same goes for the lead.
exuberant descriptions of nonexistent nightclubs– Nonexistent from Stefon/Seth's perspective? Would "fictional" work better here?
in an attempt to– This could be shortened to "to" and it would mean the same thing.
Character:
to recommend unusual events and destinations– I could be misremembering and I haven't checked the source, but does he recommend "events"? This seems to contradict the next sentence, which says he introduces them as clubs.
possibly due to his heavy use of recreational drugs– According to whom? Right now it looks like Wikipedia is speculating.
His mother is named Ms. Stefon, and...– I agree that we shouldn't present these as facts, and everything from this to the end of the paragraph should be attributed to Stefon.
Appearances:
the head of the segment– Not clear what this means.
Paramount Pictures began discussions for a Stefon movie– Do we know when this happened?
Reception:
Stefon has had a generally positive reception.– Is there a source supporting this?
Stefon's quotes, such as "New York's hottest club" and "This place has everything", have been used by several media sources. The sources don't actually say that the quotes "have been used by several media sources". They just use them and we came to the conclusion on our own, which is an original research concern.
The character has also been criticized.– This doesn't really add anything, since we see it in the next few sentences.
These are the notes that I'd want addressed before passing this in a GA review, but the eventual reviewer could always see some of these differently. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 05:03, 17 February 2024 (UTC)
In Saturday Night Live and Philosophy: Deep Thoughts Through the Decades, Kati Sudnick and Erik Garrett mention Stefon as an illustrated example of the problems of a technocratic elite., and even longer if I include the professions. The Heartland source was added later. If there's a way to include the authors and professions without it being long, I'd love to know.
signpost each paragraph with a topic statement.If this isn't appropriate, I will remove it.
Toolbox |
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This peer review discussion is closed. |
I had initially sent this to PR last year, but since then, I've added more to the article and sent this to GA. However, I am not sure if this meets GA criteria. Listed below are my concerns:
If anyone can answer my concerns and give advice to help me improve the article, that would be great. Spinixster (chat!) 07:10, 15 February 2024 (UTC)
General:
Lead:
Development:
by people Hader and Mulaney had encountered– I'd specify where they encountered them (e.g. "in their daily lives"). Right now it could be read as them specifically seeking out people to inspire the character. Same goes for the lead.
exuberant descriptions of nonexistent nightclubs– Nonexistent from Stefon/Seth's perspective? Would "fictional" work better here?
in an attempt to– This could be shortened to "to" and it would mean the same thing.
Character:
to recommend unusual events and destinations– I could be misremembering and I haven't checked the source, but does he recommend "events"? This seems to contradict the next sentence, which says he introduces them as clubs.
possibly due to his heavy use of recreational drugs– According to whom? Right now it looks like Wikipedia is speculating.
His mother is named Ms. Stefon, and...– I agree that we shouldn't present these as facts, and everything from this to the end of the paragraph should be attributed to Stefon.
Appearances:
the head of the segment– Not clear what this means.
Paramount Pictures began discussions for a Stefon movie– Do we know when this happened?
Reception:
Stefon has had a generally positive reception.– Is there a source supporting this?
Stefon's quotes, such as "New York's hottest club" and "This place has everything", have been used by several media sources. The sources don't actually say that the quotes "have been used by several media sources". They just use them and we came to the conclusion on our own, which is an original research concern.
The character has also been criticized.– This doesn't really add anything, since we see it in the next few sentences.
These are the notes that I'd want addressed before passing this in a GA review, but the eventual reviewer could always see some of these differently. Thebiguglyalien ( talk) 05:03, 17 February 2024 (UTC)
In Saturday Night Live and Philosophy: Deep Thoughts Through the Decades, Kati Sudnick and Erik Garrett mention Stefon as an illustrated example of the problems of a technocratic elite., and even longer if I include the professions. The Heartland source was added later. If there's a way to include the authors and professions without it being long, I'd love to know.
signpost each paragraph with a topic statement.If this isn't appropriate, I will remove it.