Per
Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was
Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.[?]
Per
WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections or using a proper system of daughter pages as per
Wikipedia:Summary style.[?]
This article may need to undergo
summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is
United States, than an appropriate subpage would be
History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.[?]
The script has spotted the following contractions: don't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
As done in
WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the
CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
History should be expanded, and the lead should come more into line with
WP:LEAD (
Tuberculosis would be a good sample article).
The article is a bit list-heavy and prose short.
Templates like {{
main}} and {{
seealso}} go at the top of sections
Very fine start, but the content could be beefed up.
SandyGeorgia (
Talk) 01:01, 2 August 2007 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the feedback. I'm working on it.
Axl 09:49, 4 August 2007 (UTC)reply
The footnotes can use more work. The empty paramters in the cite templates can add as much as 5KB (unnecessarily) to the article size, and make it harder to edit the article. You aren't using the URL and PMID parameters correctly in the cite templates; URL should be used for links to full-text versions of the journal reports, while the pmid parameter links to abstracts only. Make sure all publishers are specified on websources. There's a pmid filler in the userbox on my user page; you supply a PMID and it generate the entire cite template for you. The lead still seems short (see
WP:LEAD, it should be a compelling, stand-alone summary), and perhaps you can get more feedback from the Medicine projects on how to beef up the content. Compare to
Influenza,
Tuberculosis and
Coeliac disease. Great progress so far !
SandyGeorgia (
Talk) 20:54, 9 August 2007 (UTC)reply
Per
Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was
Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.[?]
Per
WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections or using a proper system of daughter pages as per
Wikipedia:Summary style.[?]
This article may need to undergo
summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is
United States, than an appropriate subpage would be
History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.[?]
The script has spotted the following contractions: don't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
As done in
WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the
CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
History should be expanded, and the lead should come more into line with
WP:LEAD (
Tuberculosis would be a good sample article).
The article is a bit list-heavy and prose short.
Templates like {{
main}} and {{
seealso}} go at the top of sections
Very fine start, but the content could be beefed up.
SandyGeorgia (
Talk) 01:01, 2 August 2007 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the feedback. I'm working on it.
Axl 09:49, 4 August 2007 (UTC)reply
The footnotes can use more work. The empty paramters in the cite templates can add as much as 5KB (unnecessarily) to the article size, and make it harder to edit the article. You aren't using the URL and PMID parameters correctly in the cite templates; URL should be used for links to full-text versions of the journal reports, while the pmid parameter links to abstracts only. Make sure all publishers are specified on websources. There's a pmid filler in the userbox on my user page; you supply a PMID and it generate the entire cite template for you. The lead still seems short (see
WP:LEAD, it should be a compelling, stand-alone summary), and perhaps you can get more feedback from the Medicine projects on how to beef up the content. Compare to
Influenza,
Tuberculosis and
Coeliac disease. Great progress so far !
SandyGeorgia (
Talk) 20:54, 9 August 2007 (UTC)reply