From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot ( talk) 7 August 2020 [1].


Bob Mann (American football)

Nominator(s): Gonzo_fan2007 and Cbl62 17:36, 26 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Bob Mann was an American football player in the late 1940s and early 1950s. He was a star end ( wide receiver in today's terminology) for the University of Michigan, where he teamed up with future Hall of Famer Len Ford to form a dynamic pass-catching duo. He entered the NFL with the Detroit Lions, where he played for two seasons. After a salary dispute, he was released and signed with the New York Yanks (not to be confused with the baseball team), although he never played for the team in the regular season. After being released by the Yanks, he claimed NFL owners blackballed him by all agreeing to not sign him. After a few months, the Green Bay Packers signed Mann, where he would play parts of five seasons until a knee injury ended his career. Mann would go on to become a lawyer in the Detroit area until he died in 2006.

The quick overview above would make it seem like Mann was just another college football star who played in the NFL for a few seasons before professional football became what it is today. However, Mann's legacy goes far and above his statistics and physical abilities. Mann was a black player in football during a time of great racial prejudices. He broke the color barrier for both the Lions and Packers, he was cut by the Lions for not taking a pay cut (and possibly for supporting a boycott by the black community of a beer that he was a spokesperson for), even though he led the NFL in receiving yards the prior season. He was (arguably) blackballed by the NFL for his race and for not agreeing to take the pay cut from the Lions. Then he played for Green Bay, a town at the time that had only a handful of black residents. He has been called a pioneer for the dignified way he handled himself is such difficult situations.

This article has a fun history. Cbl62, as a fan of the University of Michigan, expanded this article in 2010! For the next 8 years, it received only a handful of minor edits. Then Gonzo_fan2007 came across it in 2018 and as a Green Bay Packers fan, they decided to work on it. In 2019, we decided to collaborate on this article and bring it to GA-status, and then, hopefully, to FA-status. This is Gonzo_fan2007's second FAC (after Packers sweep) and Cbl62's 1st FAC. The article received a pre-FAC review and WP:NFL was given a chance to review it, with at least one editor reviewing it. Thanks to Eagles247, Casliber, and MWright96 for your help in developing this article. Thank you all for your time in reviewing this nomination. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) and Cbl62 ( talk) 17:34, 26 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Support by Nick-D

I know almost nothing about American football, so am coming at this with what could be optimistically termed fresh eyes. Here are my comments:

  • "Mann transferred to Michigan in 1944, with his father hoping that he would attend the school's medical program" - which school?
  • " Mann took a year off for military service" - this sounds rather odd. People volunteered or were drafted for the duration of the war, so didn't take time off from their civilian lives.
    • It is somewhat colloquial language in sports for the era. I reworded. No source mentioned whether he was drafted or volunteered. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:49, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
      • "Mann left the university for a year to serve" still is unlikely to be correct - I very much doubt that the US Navy was offering one year periods of enlistment. Nick-D ( talk) 07:10, 29 June 2020 (UTC) reply
        • The key here is that his college "career" was delayed while he served in the military. Both sources for this statement just note that "he served" from 1944 until the end of the war. Nothing about volunteering or draft. I reworded a little bit more, let me know if this satisfies your concern. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:28, 29 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Do we know what he did in the Navy?
White newspapers of the day tended to give minimal coverage to military service by African Americans. Some of the old African-American press is available online, but I've been unable to find details there of his military service. Cbl62 ( talk) 21:13, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "McMillin thought it would be best for everyone to not incite any further racial issues in the city." - this is euphemistic (e.g. what racial attitudes are being referred to and why did McMillan think this?). Can clearer language be used?
  • " Despite a good training camp" - I'm not sure what this means. Should it be "Despite performing well during the team's training camp" or similar?
  • " John Rauch, a rookie quarterback, told Mann that he had been ordered not to throw to him." - do we know who issued this order, and why?
    • I think I addressed this. It was the Yanks coach, and Mann understood it to be racially motivated. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:40, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "He claimed that, despite leading the NFL in receiving yards in 1949, the Lions had asked him to take a 20 percent pay cut." - is 'claimed' needed here given that this is stated as a fact earlier in this article?
    • I changed to "asserted". I am trying to make the point that these were Mann's claims, but I kind of see your point. Let me know if this makes sense or if it should be reworded still. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:49, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
      • I'm still not sure why this is being presented as anything other than a fact? Surely Mann was correct in stating this? Nick-D ( talk) 07:10, 29 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "He married in 1956" - the article earlier describes him as being married in 1949?
    • Welp, this may take a second. I have two sources, one saying "his wife Dorothy" in 1949, and one saying he he had a wife named Vera who he had been married to for 45 years in 2002. Let me do some digging. In the meantime, Nick-D, let me know if you are good with the other responses and if you have any other comments. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:05, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
    • I found a reference in Jet (magazine) saying that him and his first wife Dorothy were divorced. No clear timeframes on the marriage though. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:38, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Can anything more be said about his legal career?
    • Honestly, we have tried but the sources just aren't out there. You can see a little of this discussion on tha talk page in the various reviews. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:49, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
      • Just to check, but have you checked online archives of newspapers in Detroit? He might well have been the type of lawyer who doesn't get in the media though (e.g. by only handling routine matters) Nick-D ( talk) 07:00, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Yes, about 3/4 of our sources are articles from a fairly diverse number of newspapers. There just isn't much said about his later life and career. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:24, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Have sports historians and/or historians of desegregation in the US written much about Mann? Given his pioneering status and the barriers he faced despite being an elite player the amount of analysis and discussion in the article feels a little thin. Nick-D ( talk) 00:40, 27 June 2020 (UTC) reply
    • I think this really speaks to the times. There just wasn't much written about him at the time (racially speaking). What was written is included in the article. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:24, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
Nick-D, I have resolved or responded to all your comments. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:38, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
Those changes all look good, and I'm very pleased to support this nomination on prose, noting again that I can't comment on comprehensiveness, etc, due to my near total ignorance of American football (and all other kinds of football other than Australian rugby league for that matter!). Nick-D ( talk) 08:10, 30 June 2020 (UTC) reply
Appreciate the review, Nick-D. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:37, 30 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Image review—pass

All images appear to be free and correctly licensed. b uidh e 00:46, 27 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks Buidhe. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:07, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Support from TRM

WikiCup review

  • I don't know why "professional" is in the pipe to American football. There are lots of codes of football with professionals.
    • This came from a discussion at WP:NFL. Basically, MOS:OPENPARABIO says a person's nationality should be in the opening paragraph. NFL bios routinely say "Person was an American football player." In this case, "American" refers to the type of football, not nationality. And since non-Americans play in the NFL, the sentence would have to say "Person was an American American football player" or something similar. I am definitely open to suggestions, but this was my way of clarifying that "American" was his nationality". « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:24, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "l football player in " why not "footballer who played in"?
  • As a non-expert, I'm mildly bemused by terms like "receiving yardage", "undrafted", "yards per reception" etc.
  • Surprised to see that List of National Football League annual receiving yards leaders isn't linked here in the prose.
  • "a lawyer and practiced law " repetitive, probably don't need "law".
  • The NFL.com link in the infobox is dead.
  • "Hampton's final game" of the season or ever?
  • "with his father hoping" -> "where his father hoped"
  • "African-American players" that wasn't hyphenated in the lead.
  • "ended up being" not really encyclopedic in tone.
  • "he caught three passes for 74 yards and two touchdowns and als..." and and run-ons, presumably something like "he caught three passes for 74 yards, scored two touchdowns and als" would be marginally better?
  • Similar, following sentence follows a near-identical structure/wording so it's got the same problem and is repetitive.
  • "a nickname as the "fifth man" in Michigan's backfield" I suppose this is meaningful to those "in the know" but to me it's meaningless.
  • Is it "at left end" or "at the left end"?
  • East-West needs an en-dash in this context.
  • Any reason Associated Press isn't linked?
  • "America, and Michigan coach " I would stop after America, new sentence then relating to his acclamation from coach and subsequent induction into that state's HoF.
  • " receive feelers " is that encyclopedic?!!
  • "(NFL).[25] In April 1948, Mann signed with the Detroit Lions of the NFL;[26] his first NFL " NFL overdose, perhaps mix it up a little to reduce reptition.
  • "He was also hired to a sales position..." curious, so this wasn't a fully professional football career at this stage?
    • It was very common back in the day for AmFootball players to have second jobs, especially ones related to the NFL (in this case, working for a beer company that was owned by the Lions' president. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "became the first African American to play for the Lions" the source doesn't back that up. "one of the Detroit Lions’ first black players".
    • Reworded to match the source more closely (basically including Mel Groomes in the discussion). « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "Although team owners denied the existence of a ban, no African American had played in the NFL between 1933 and 1945" very close paraphrasing to the source: "Although team owners denied the existence of a color ban, not one black player had played in the NFL between 1933 and 1945".
  • "African American players. Even after African American players" repetitive.
    • I reworded a bit, but not sure how I can get around not having "African Americans" in each sentence. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "began appearing"-> "began to appear".
  • "Mann appeared in all 12 games for the Lions," + in the 1948 season...
  • It's worth noting how Detroit did that season, coming bottom of the Western Division.
  • "He had played two years of college basketball at Hampton" who? Mann? We know. Owens? Not clear.
  • "not be able to play in the game.[2]..." no reaction from Mann? Or any of his teammates?
    • The source just notes the event and says that Mann doesn't dwell on the racial issues that he faced in that era. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:35, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "Mann objected and held out" and "Mann became a hold out when" repetitive use or are they different things?
  • Link quarterback, free agent etc.
  • "October 1950, Mann was jobless. At the end of October 1950," repetitive.
  • "Despite leading the NFL in receiving yards in 1949, the Lions had asked him to take a 20 percent pay cut." haven't you already said all this?
    • Reworded so that this sentence is more of a callback to the previous explanation of the pay cut. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "colluded to avoid signing", "colluded to avoid signing" repetitive.
  • "ending his suit against the NFL" was it a condition or did he just decide that because he'd been signed the misdemeanours of the past were forgotten?
    • The couple sources that mention this just note that the suit ended. Speculating, since he was signed he no longer had claims against the NFL for blackballing, so it was dropped. Let me know if you think I need to reword this. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:35, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "becoming the first African-American to play for the team.[7][53] It was later determined that Walt Jean, an offensive lineman for the Packers in the 1920s, was African American.." well, odd. I guess "what was thought to be" should be in there really, this is an encyclopedia so we shouldn't make an assertion to then immediately nullify it.
  • Can we link the 1950 and 1951 NFL seasons in the prose? And the subsequent ones?
  • "three or less " fewer.
  • "2–9–1" what does that mean to a non-expert?
  • " racial diversity, Mann's time with the Packers was largely free of overt racial incidents.[69] However, racial " racial x3 in quick succession, repetitive.
  • "Green Bay Gazette" this was called something different last time and already linked.

That's a first pass. As noted, I am certainly no expert, so I may have misunderstood some things. Having said that, if I have, maybe some of our other non-expert readers will too... Cheers. The Rambling Man ( Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 12:57, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks The Rambling Man, I believe I have either addressed or responded to all of your comments above. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:35, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
No worries, happy with the above and just removed one instance of overlinking. Good work, good luck. The Rambling Man ( Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:54, 8 July 2020 (UTC) reply
As always, thanks for your thorough review The Rambling Man. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:09, 8 July 2020 (UTC) reply
No problem, I'm just here for the cookies! The Rambling Man ( Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 14:10, 8 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Comments Support by Kosack

A few very minor points, the two very thorough reviews above have already covered pretty much everything for me. Kosack ( talk) 14:29, 25 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks for the review Kosack, all your comments were addressed or responded to. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:28, 25 July 2020 (UTC) reply
No further issues for me, happy to support. Kosack ( talk) 12:56, 26 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks for the review, Kosack. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:27, 26 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Coord note

Adding this to the urgents list and also for a source review. -- Ealdgyth ( talk) 14:15, 20 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks Ealdgyth! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:17, 20 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Hi, based on the reviews above we have consensus for promotion but when I looked over the lead I couldn't help feeling there's room for improvement. I realise articles on footballers have their challenges but "football player who played" in the first sentence, followed by "played" and "playing" in the next two sentences seemed a bit much -- is there no way to vary this? Also "After not being drafted in the 1948 NFL Draft" seems a bit clumsy to me. I haven't looked at the rest. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 13:20, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Hi Ian Rose, thanks for the comments. I removed/replaced two instances of "play" from the lead, but as you mentioned, it is a challenge because there isn't an easy synonym for "play". "Engage", "participate", etc all sound clumsy and abnormal for American football. I changed the second sentence to After not being selected in the 1948 NFL Draft, which seems to be on par with other FAC's ( Scott Zolak, Tyrone Wheatley). Happy to address any other comments you have. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:56, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Tks for your prompt response. I guess "not being selected" is better but still... Do we even need to know this in the lead, could we not just drop that clause? Further, last I looked MOS tends to frown on single-paragraph subsections and while some might be justified, there are quite a few in this article. At the very least I think you could safely make New York Yanks section just the two paras, without the Charges of blackballing subheader. Leave the rest for now, I'll try and take another look tomorrow. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 14:35, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Ian Rose, I dropped a couple single-paragraph sub-sections, as recommended. Regarding the draft status, Wikipedia:WikiProject National Football League/Player pages format (which, admittedly is an info page) recommends having the player's draft status in the lead. Of the 5 NFL player WP:FAs from the draft era, four mention their draft status in the lead ( Otto Graham being the exception, although he never played for the team that drafted him). At this point, I would prefer to keep it, as it provides a natural transition from college to professional career. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:23, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Tks, how do you feel about "After missing [or even "missing out on"] selection in the 1948 NFL Draft"? I won't hold up promotion though, your call... Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 13:50, 31 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks Ian Rose. I think I will stay with the original text; it matches more closely with the standard language the NFL uses when discussing the draft.. I do want to point out that a source review hasn't been completed for this FAC. Is that something that needs to occur before promotion? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:20, 31 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Well wouldn't you know, I'd overlooked that, even with Ealdgyth's reminder above -- I spent some time double-checking whether a spotcheck was required but not the source review in general. Nikkimaria, could I trouble you to have a look at this? Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 14:28, 31 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Ian Rose, the source review has been completed below. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:54, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Ian Rose, just wanted to follow-up and note that the source review has been complete. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:39, 7 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Yep, I got quite a few messages the last couple of days, only now able to get to this... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 23:39, 7 August 2020 (UTC) reply

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • Which stats in the infobox are meant to be cited to which source?
    • NFL.com, removed the other to clarify. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:15, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
      • It looks like that source doesn't include date of death, and the exact date is not present in the article body. Nikkimaria ( talk) 15:28, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Nikkimaria, when you said "stats" in your original comment, I thought you were referring to Mann's football statistics. I have added his full death date to the last section of the article and to the lead. Ref 74 supports the death date. All the other information in the infobox is supported by multiple sources in the article. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:30, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Quotes should be cited in the lead even if repeated later
  • Fn2: the title here doesn't match that in the source, unless there's a different title on the first page?
    • See comment below about Source 12 and 13. This is the same thing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:17, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
      • Not sure what you mean, could you explain? Nikkimaria ( talk) 15:28, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Source #2 is another news article that is split on two pages, with the first part cited separately (source 29) from the second part, similar to source 12 and 13. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:33, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
          • I'm not objecting to them being split into two cites. But in this particular case it appears that the second part has a different title, so if you're going to split them into two cites the second part should have the title specific to that part. Nikkimaria ( talk) 17:39, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
            • Nikkimaria, it is my understanding that a title on the second page of an article is considered a subhead and not the title of the article. Each article can only have one title, which is why I kept the article's title from the first page and added "Part 1" and "Part 2". Let me know if there is an MOS or guideline for this. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:22, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
              • Nikkimaria, does my explanation work for you? I have three sources in the article that are newspaper clippings where the article goes from one page to another. They are all set-up the same way, with two citations using the main title with Part 1 and Part 2 appended to the end of the title. I haven't been able to find any guideline on how this is usually handled, so I am hoping that this solution works. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 3 August 2020 (UTC) reply
                • That's fine. Looks like we're still pending a source for date of death as per above. Nikkimaria ( talk) 23:30, 3 August 2020 (UTC) reply
                  • Not sure I know what you are referring to Nikkimaria. His date of death is sourced and I don't see any comments above about his death date?? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 04:33, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
                    • See my response on point 1 - it's not in the NFL source used for the infobox AFAICT, and the exact date is not in the article body. Nikkimaria ( talk) 12:09, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
  • FN9 credits Newspapers.com but is from a different source
  • Fns 12 and 13: when the in-source location is more than pages, |at= is more appropriate
    • I disagree, separating out each page of a newspaper article makes it easier to verify the information and is the only way that each page of the article can be easily archived. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:17, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
      • I don't understand your argument. You could easily present the information currently presented, just using a different parameter. Nikkimaria ( talk) 15:28, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Do you mind providing me an example of what it would look like. I guess I am not understanding how that parameter would be used in a way that would allow me to link directly to two separate Newspaper.com links, plus two separate Wayback machine archive urls. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:33, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
          • Currently part one is
Smith, Wilfrid (December 22, 1946). "Colleges Have Greatest Year for Football: Part 1". Chicago Tribune (clipping). p. Part 2, Page 1. Archived from the original on February 11, 2020 – via Newspapers.com.
All I'm suggesting you change is
Smith, Wilfrid (December 22, 1946). "Colleges Have Greatest Year for Football: Part 1". Chicago Tribune (clipping). Part 2, Page 1. Archived from the original on February 11, 2020 – via Newspapers.com.
And then the same with the other, keeping them as separate refs. Nikkimaria ( talk) 17:39, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Sorry, that was my bad. I was confused at what you were asking. I have made the change. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:22, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks Nikkimaria for the review. I have addressed or responded to all your comments. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:17, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Should now be good to go. Nikkimaria ( talk) 20:38, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks for the review! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:54, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot ( talk) 7 August 2020 [1].


Bob Mann (American football)

Nominator(s): Gonzo_fan2007 and Cbl62 17:36, 26 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Bob Mann was an American football player in the late 1940s and early 1950s. He was a star end ( wide receiver in today's terminology) for the University of Michigan, where he teamed up with future Hall of Famer Len Ford to form a dynamic pass-catching duo. He entered the NFL with the Detroit Lions, where he played for two seasons. After a salary dispute, he was released and signed with the New York Yanks (not to be confused with the baseball team), although he never played for the team in the regular season. After being released by the Yanks, he claimed NFL owners blackballed him by all agreeing to not sign him. After a few months, the Green Bay Packers signed Mann, where he would play parts of five seasons until a knee injury ended his career. Mann would go on to become a lawyer in the Detroit area until he died in 2006.

The quick overview above would make it seem like Mann was just another college football star who played in the NFL for a few seasons before professional football became what it is today. However, Mann's legacy goes far and above his statistics and physical abilities. Mann was a black player in football during a time of great racial prejudices. He broke the color barrier for both the Lions and Packers, he was cut by the Lions for not taking a pay cut (and possibly for supporting a boycott by the black community of a beer that he was a spokesperson for), even though he led the NFL in receiving yards the prior season. He was (arguably) blackballed by the NFL for his race and for not agreeing to take the pay cut from the Lions. Then he played for Green Bay, a town at the time that had only a handful of black residents. He has been called a pioneer for the dignified way he handled himself is such difficult situations.

This article has a fun history. Cbl62, as a fan of the University of Michigan, expanded this article in 2010! For the next 8 years, it received only a handful of minor edits. Then Gonzo_fan2007 came across it in 2018 and as a Green Bay Packers fan, they decided to work on it. In 2019, we decided to collaborate on this article and bring it to GA-status, and then, hopefully, to FA-status. This is Gonzo_fan2007's second FAC (after Packers sweep) and Cbl62's 1st FAC. The article received a pre-FAC review and WP:NFL was given a chance to review it, with at least one editor reviewing it. Thanks to Eagles247, Casliber, and MWright96 for your help in developing this article. Thank you all for your time in reviewing this nomination. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) and Cbl62 ( talk) 17:34, 26 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Support by Nick-D

I know almost nothing about American football, so am coming at this with what could be optimistically termed fresh eyes. Here are my comments:

  • "Mann transferred to Michigan in 1944, with his father hoping that he would attend the school's medical program" - which school?
  • " Mann took a year off for military service" - this sounds rather odd. People volunteered or were drafted for the duration of the war, so didn't take time off from their civilian lives.
    • It is somewhat colloquial language in sports for the era. I reworded. No source mentioned whether he was drafted or volunteered. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:49, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
      • "Mann left the university for a year to serve" still is unlikely to be correct - I very much doubt that the US Navy was offering one year periods of enlistment. Nick-D ( talk) 07:10, 29 June 2020 (UTC) reply
        • The key here is that his college "career" was delayed while he served in the military. Both sources for this statement just note that "he served" from 1944 until the end of the war. Nothing about volunteering or draft. I reworded a little bit more, let me know if this satisfies your concern. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:28, 29 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Do we know what he did in the Navy?
White newspapers of the day tended to give minimal coverage to military service by African Americans. Some of the old African-American press is available online, but I've been unable to find details there of his military service. Cbl62 ( talk) 21:13, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "McMillin thought it would be best for everyone to not incite any further racial issues in the city." - this is euphemistic (e.g. what racial attitudes are being referred to and why did McMillan think this?). Can clearer language be used?
  • " Despite a good training camp" - I'm not sure what this means. Should it be "Despite performing well during the team's training camp" or similar?
  • " John Rauch, a rookie quarterback, told Mann that he had been ordered not to throw to him." - do we know who issued this order, and why?
    • I think I addressed this. It was the Yanks coach, and Mann understood it to be racially motivated. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:40, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "He claimed that, despite leading the NFL in receiving yards in 1949, the Lions had asked him to take a 20 percent pay cut." - is 'claimed' needed here given that this is stated as a fact earlier in this article?
    • I changed to "asserted". I am trying to make the point that these were Mann's claims, but I kind of see your point. Let me know if this makes sense or if it should be reworded still. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:49, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
      • I'm still not sure why this is being presented as anything other than a fact? Surely Mann was correct in stating this? Nick-D ( talk) 07:10, 29 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "He married in 1956" - the article earlier describes him as being married in 1949?
    • Welp, this may take a second. I have two sources, one saying "his wife Dorothy" in 1949, and one saying he he had a wife named Vera who he had been married to for 45 years in 2002. Let me do some digging. In the meantime, Nick-D, let me know if you are good with the other responses and if you have any other comments. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:05, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
    • I found a reference in Jet (magazine) saying that him and his first wife Dorothy were divorced. No clear timeframes on the marriage though. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:38, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Can anything more be said about his legal career?
    • Honestly, we have tried but the sources just aren't out there. You can see a little of this discussion on tha talk page in the various reviews. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:49, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
      • Just to check, but have you checked online archives of newspapers in Detroit? He might well have been the type of lawyer who doesn't get in the media though (e.g. by only handling routine matters) Nick-D ( talk) 07:00, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Yes, about 3/4 of our sources are articles from a fairly diverse number of newspapers. There just isn't much said about his later life and career. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:24, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Have sports historians and/or historians of desegregation in the US written much about Mann? Given his pioneering status and the barriers he faced despite being an elite player the amount of analysis and discussion in the article feels a little thin. Nick-D ( talk) 00:40, 27 June 2020 (UTC) reply
    • I think this really speaks to the times. There just wasn't much written about him at the time (racially speaking). What was written is included in the article. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:24, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
Nick-D, I have resolved or responded to all your comments. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:38, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply
Those changes all look good, and I'm very pleased to support this nomination on prose, noting again that I can't comment on comprehensiveness, etc, due to my near total ignorance of American football (and all other kinds of football other than Australian rugby league for that matter!). Nick-D ( talk) 08:10, 30 June 2020 (UTC) reply
Appreciate the review, Nick-D. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:37, 30 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Image review—pass

All images appear to be free and correctly licensed. b uidh e 00:46, 27 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks Buidhe. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:07, 28 June 2020 (UTC) reply

Support from TRM

WikiCup review

  • I don't know why "professional" is in the pipe to American football. There are lots of codes of football with professionals.
    • This came from a discussion at WP:NFL. Basically, MOS:OPENPARABIO says a person's nationality should be in the opening paragraph. NFL bios routinely say "Person was an American football player." In this case, "American" refers to the type of football, not nationality. And since non-Americans play in the NFL, the sentence would have to say "Person was an American American football player" or something similar. I am definitely open to suggestions, but this was my way of clarifying that "American" was his nationality". « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:24, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "l football player in " why not "footballer who played in"?
  • As a non-expert, I'm mildly bemused by terms like "receiving yardage", "undrafted", "yards per reception" etc.
  • Surprised to see that List of National Football League annual receiving yards leaders isn't linked here in the prose.
  • "a lawyer and practiced law " repetitive, probably don't need "law".
  • The NFL.com link in the infobox is dead.
  • "Hampton's final game" of the season or ever?
  • "with his father hoping" -> "where his father hoped"
  • "African-American players" that wasn't hyphenated in the lead.
  • "ended up being" not really encyclopedic in tone.
  • "he caught three passes for 74 yards and two touchdowns and als..." and and run-ons, presumably something like "he caught three passes for 74 yards, scored two touchdowns and als" would be marginally better?
  • Similar, following sentence follows a near-identical structure/wording so it's got the same problem and is repetitive.
  • "a nickname as the "fifth man" in Michigan's backfield" I suppose this is meaningful to those "in the know" but to me it's meaningless.
  • Is it "at left end" or "at the left end"?
  • East-West needs an en-dash in this context.
  • Any reason Associated Press isn't linked?
  • "America, and Michigan coach " I would stop after America, new sentence then relating to his acclamation from coach and subsequent induction into that state's HoF.
  • " receive feelers " is that encyclopedic?!!
  • "(NFL).[25] In April 1948, Mann signed with the Detroit Lions of the NFL;[26] his first NFL " NFL overdose, perhaps mix it up a little to reduce reptition.
  • "He was also hired to a sales position..." curious, so this wasn't a fully professional football career at this stage?
    • It was very common back in the day for AmFootball players to have second jobs, especially ones related to the NFL (in this case, working for a beer company that was owned by the Lions' president. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "became the first African American to play for the Lions" the source doesn't back that up. "one of the Detroit Lions’ first black players".
    • Reworded to match the source more closely (basically including Mel Groomes in the discussion). « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "Although team owners denied the existence of a ban, no African American had played in the NFL between 1933 and 1945" very close paraphrasing to the source: "Although team owners denied the existence of a color ban, not one black player had played in the NFL between 1933 and 1945".
  • "African American players. Even after African American players" repetitive.
    • I reworded a bit, but not sure how I can get around not having "African Americans" in each sentence. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "began appearing"-> "began to appear".
  • "Mann appeared in all 12 games for the Lions," + in the 1948 season...
  • It's worth noting how Detroit did that season, coming bottom of the Western Division.
  • "He had played two years of college basketball at Hampton" who? Mann? We know. Owens? Not clear.
  • "not be able to play in the game.[2]..." no reaction from Mann? Or any of his teammates?
    • The source just notes the event and says that Mann doesn't dwell on the racial issues that he faced in that era. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:35, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "Mann objected and held out" and "Mann became a hold out when" repetitive use or are they different things?
  • Link quarterback, free agent etc.
  • "October 1950, Mann was jobless. At the end of October 1950," repetitive.
  • "Despite leading the NFL in receiving yards in 1949, the Lions had asked him to take a 20 percent pay cut." haven't you already said all this?
    • Reworded so that this sentence is more of a callback to the previous explanation of the pay cut. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:05, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "colluded to avoid signing", "colluded to avoid signing" repetitive.
  • "ending his suit against the NFL" was it a condition or did he just decide that because he'd been signed the misdemeanours of the past were forgotten?
    • The couple sources that mention this just note that the suit ended. Speculating, since he was signed he no longer had claims against the NFL for blackballing, so it was dropped. Let me know if you think I need to reword this. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:35, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
  • "becoming the first African-American to play for the team.[7][53] It was later determined that Walt Jean, an offensive lineman for the Packers in the 1920s, was African American.." well, odd. I guess "what was thought to be" should be in there really, this is an encyclopedia so we shouldn't make an assertion to then immediately nullify it.
  • Can we link the 1950 and 1951 NFL seasons in the prose? And the subsequent ones?
  • "three or less " fewer.
  • "2–9–1" what does that mean to a non-expert?
  • " racial diversity, Mann's time with the Packers was largely free of overt racial incidents.[69] However, racial " racial x3 in quick succession, repetitive.
  • "Green Bay Gazette" this was called something different last time and already linked.

That's a first pass. As noted, I am certainly no expert, so I may have misunderstood some things. Having said that, if I have, maybe some of our other non-expert readers will too... Cheers. The Rambling Man ( Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 12:57, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks The Rambling Man, I believe I have either addressed or responded to all of your comments above. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:35, 6 July 2020 (UTC) reply
No worries, happy with the above and just removed one instance of overlinking. Good work, good luck. The Rambling Man ( Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 08:54, 8 July 2020 (UTC) reply
As always, thanks for your thorough review The Rambling Man. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:09, 8 July 2020 (UTC) reply
No problem, I'm just here for the cookies! The Rambling Man ( Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 14:10, 8 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Comments Support by Kosack

A few very minor points, the two very thorough reviews above have already covered pretty much everything for me. Kosack ( talk) 14:29, 25 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks for the review Kosack, all your comments were addressed or responded to. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:28, 25 July 2020 (UTC) reply
No further issues for me, happy to support. Kosack ( talk) 12:56, 26 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks for the review, Kosack. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:27, 26 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Coord note

Adding this to the urgents list and also for a source review. -- Ealdgyth ( talk) 14:15, 20 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Thanks Ealdgyth! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:17, 20 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Hi, based on the reviews above we have consensus for promotion but when I looked over the lead I couldn't help feeling there's room for improvement. I realise articles on footballers have their challenges but "football player who played" in the first sentence, followed by "played" and "playing" in the next two sentences seemed a bit much -- is there no way to vary this? Also "After not being drafted in the 1948 NFL Draft" seems a bit clumsy to me. I haven't looked at the rest. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 13:20, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply

Hi Ian Rose, thanks for the comments. I removed/replaced two instances of "play" from the lead, but as you mentioned, it is a challenge because there isn't an easy synonym for "play". "Engage", "participate", etc all sound clumsy and abnormal for American football. I changed the second sentence to After not being selected in the 1948 NFL Draft, which seems to be on par with other FAC's ( Scott Zolak, Tyrone Wheatley). Happy to address any other comments you have. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:56, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Tks for your prompt response. I guess "not being selected" is better but still... Do we even need to know this in the lead, could we not just drop that clause? Further, last I looked MOS tends to frown on single-paragraph subsections and while some might be justified, there are quite a few in this article. At the very least I think you could safely make New York Yanks section just the two paras, without the Charges of blackballing subheader. Leave the rest for now, I'll try and take another look tomorrow. Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 14:35, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Ian Rose, I dropped a couple single-paragraph sub-sections, as recommended. Regarding the draft status, Wikipedia:WikiProject National Football League/Player pages format (which, admittedly is an info page) recommends having the player's draft status in the lead. Of the 5 NFL player WP:FAs from the draft era, four mention their draft status in the lead ( Otto Graham being the exception, although he never played for the team that drafted him). At this point, I would prefer to keep it, as it provides a natural transition from college to professional career. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:23, 30 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Tks, how do you feel about "After missing [or even "missing out on"] selection in the 1948 NFL Draft"? I won't hold up promotion though, your call... Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 13:50, 31 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks Ian Rose. I think I will stay with the original text; it matches more closely with the standard language the NFL uses when discussing the draft.. I do want to point out that a source review hasn't been completed for this FAC. Is that something that needs to occur before promotion? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:20, 31 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Well wouldn't you know, I'd overlooked that, even with Ealdgyth's reminder above -- I spent some time double-checking whether a spotcheck was required but not the source review in general. Nikkimaria, could I trouble you to have a look at this? Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 14:28, 31 July 2020 (UTC) reply
Ian Rose, the source review has been completed below. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:54, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Ian Rose, just wanted to follow-up and note that the source review has been complete. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:39, 7 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Yep, I got quite a few messages the last couple of days, only now able to get to this... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose ( talk) 23:39, 7 August 2020 (UTC) reply

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • Which stats in the infobox are meant to be cited to which source?
    • NFL.com, removed the other to clarify. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:15, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
      • It looks like that source doesn't include date of death, and the exact date is not present in the article body. Nikkimaria ( talk) 15:28, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Nikkimaria, when you said "stats" in your original comment, I thought you were referring to Mann's football statistics. I have added his full death date to the last section of the article and to the lead. Ref 74 supports the death date. All the other information in the infobox is supported by multiple sources in the article. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:30, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
  • Quotes should be cited in the lead even if repeated later
  • Fn2: the title here doesn't match that in the source, unless there's a different title on the first page?
    • See comment below about Source 12 and 13. This is the same thing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:17, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
      • Not sure what you mean, could you explain? Nikkimaria ( talk) 15:28, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Source #2 is another news article that is split on two pages, with the first part cited separately (source 29) from the second part, similar to source 12 and 13. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:33, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
          • I'm not objecting to them being split into two cites. But in this particular case it appears that the second part has a different title, so if you're going to split them into two cites the second part should have the title specific to that part. Nikkimaria ( talk) 17:39, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
            • Nikkimaria, it is my understanding that a title on the second page of an article is considered a subhead and not the title of the article. Each article can only have one title, which is why I kept the article's title from the first page and added "Part 1" and "Part 2". Let me know if there is an MOS or guideline for this. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:22, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
              • Nikkimaria, does my explanation work for you? I have three sources in the article that are newspaper clippings where the article goes from one page to another. They are all set-up the same way, with two citations using the main title with Part 1 and Part 2 appended to the end of the title. I haven't been able to find any guideline on how this is usually handled, so I am hoping that this solution works. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:32, 3 August 2020 (UTC) reply
                • That's fine. Looks like we're still pending a source for date of death as per above. Nikkimaria ( talk) 23:30, 3 August 2020 (UTC) reply
                  • Not sure I know what you are referring to Nikkimaria. His date of death is sourced and I don't see any comments above about his death date?? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 04:33, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
                    • See my response on point 1 - it's not in the NFL source used for the infobox AFAICT, and the exact date is not in the article body. Nikkimaria ( talk) 12:09, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
  • FN9 credits Newspapers.com but is from a different source
  • Fns 12 and 13: when the in-source location is more than pages, |at= is more appropriate
    • I disagree, separating out each page of a newspaper article makes it easier to verify the information and is the only way that each page of the article can be easily archived. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:17, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
      • I don't understand your argument. You could easily present the information currently presented, just using a different parameter. Nikkimaria ( talk) 15:28, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
        • Do you mind providing me an example of what it would look like. I guess I am not understanding how that parameter would be used in a way that would allow me to link directly to two separate Newspaper.com links, plus two separate Wayback machine archive urls. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 17:33, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
          • Currently part one is
Smith, Wilfrid (December 22, 1946). "Colleges Have Greatest Year for Football: Part 1". Chicago Tribune (clipping). p. Part 2, Page 1. Archived from the original on February 11, 2020 – via Newspapers.com.
All I'm suggesting you change is
Smith, Wilfrid (December 22, 1946). "Colleges Have Greatest Year for Football: Part 1". Chicago Tribune (clipping). Part 2, Page 1. Archived from the original on February 11, 2020 – via Newspapers.com.
And then the same with the other, keeping them as separate refs. Nikkimaria ( talk) 17:39, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Sorry, that was my bad. I was confused at what you were asking. I have made the change. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:22, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks Nikkimaria for the review. I have addressed or responded to all your comments. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:17, 2 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Should now be good to go. Nikkimaria ( talk) 20:38, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
Thanks for the review! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:54, 4 August 2020 (UTC) reply
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.

Videos

Youtube | Vimeo | Bing

Websites

Google | Yahoo | Bing

Encyclopedia

Google | Yahoo | Bing

Facebook