This was a major event in world history and this needs to become a featured article. But it needs help getting there. So can you contribute whatever you can to get it there. Mercenary2k 03:26, 22 September 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, this definitely needs help. Off the top of my head, some of the more major issues:
Kirill Lokshin 15:37, 22 September 2006 (UTC)
Per Kirill, this article just generally needs to be bigger and more heavily cited. Some more minor points:
-The title of the article is "Fall of Constantinople" but the name at the top of the infobox reads "Siege of Constantiople." These two need to be the same. I personally suggest the latter, but you should probably call it whatever the English historical literature most often refers to it as.
-Make sure citations are uniform and standardized. I'm looking at the infobox under 'Strength' and for the Ottomans you've given a website next to the number. This needs to be a citation, however, with the relevant information contained in the Notes section.
-Prose prose prose! You'll never get a featured article without "compelling" prose as they call it. That's a fancy term that basically means don't get bogged down with punctuation and syntax. The following sentences are highly awkward and need to be rephrased:
In the approximately 1,000 years of the existence of the Byzantine Empire, Constantinople had been besieged many times; it had been captured only twice, during the Fourth Crusade in 1204 and when the Byzantines retook it decades later: the crusaders had not originally set out to conquer the Empire, and the Byzantines re-established themselves in the city in 1261. Very disjointed and swamped in grammatical structures. Simplify a little.
An especially relevant aspect of this fortress was its ability to prevent help from Genoese colonies on the Black Sea coast from reaching the city. Too drawn out. Just say "The fortress was important because it could prevent the Genoese colonies on the Black Sea coast from reaching the city."
After the initial assault, the Ottoman army fanned out along the main throughfare of the city, the Mese, past the great forums, and past the mammoth church of the Holy Apostles, which Mehmet wanted spared to provide a seat for his newly appointed patriach which would help him better control his Christian subjects. Two 'whiches'??? Ta frick. That makes for very awkward sentences. This is a good linguistic guideline: rarely use the word "which" more than once in a sentence, not because it's grammatically incorrect, but because it's freaking annoying to read.
Problems like the ones above can be found throughout. If you want, drop a word on my talk page before you nominate this for FA so I can give it a thorough copyedit. UberCryxic 05:04, 23 September 2006 (UTC)
Nice start! But needs work:
This was a major event in world history and this needs to become a featured article. But it needs help getting there. So can you contribute whatever you can to get it there. Mercenary2k 03:26, 22 September 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, this definitely needs help. Off the top of my head, some of the more major issues:
Kirill Lokshin 15:37, 22 September 2006 (UTC)
Per Kirill, this article just generally needs to be bigger and more heavily cited. Some more minor points:
-The title of the article is "Fall of Constantinople" but the name at the top of the infobox reads "Siege of Constantiople." These two need to be the same. I personally suggest the latter, but you should probably call it whatever the English historical literature most often refers to it as.
-Make sure citations are uniform and standardized. I'm looking at the infobox under 'Strength' and for the Ottomans you've given a website next to the number. This needs to be a citation, however, with the relevant information contained in the Notes section.
-Prose prose prose! You'll never get a featured article without "compelling" prose as they call it. That's a fancy term that basically means don't get bogged down with punctuation and syntax. The following sentences are highly awkward and need to be rephrased:
In the approximately 1,000 years of the existence of the Byzantine Empire, Constantinople had been besieged many times; it had been captured only twice, during the Fourth Crusade in 1204 and when the Byzantines retook it decades later: the crusaders had not originally set out to conquer the Empire, and the Byzantines re-established themselves in the city in 1261. Very disjointed and swamped in grammatical structures. Simplify a little.
An especially relevant aspect of this fortress was its ability to prevent help from Genoese colonies on the Black Sea coast from reaching the city. Too drawn out. Just say "The fortress was important because it could prevent the Genoese colonies on the Black Sea coast from reaching the city."
After the initial assault, the Ottoman army fanned out along the main throughfare of the city, the Mese, past the great forums, and past the mammoth church of the Holy Apostles, which Mehmet wanted spared to provide a seat for his newly appointed patriach which would help him better control his Christian subjects. Two 'whiches'??? Ta frick. That makes for very awkward sentences. This is a good linguistic guideline: rarely use the word "which" more than once in a sentence, not because it's grammatically incorrect, but because it's freaking annoying to read.
Problems like the ones above can be found throughout. If you want, drop a word on my talk page before you nominate this for FA so I can give it a thorough copyedit. UberCryxic 05:04, 23 September 2006 (UTC)
Nice start! But needs work: