I've done a great deal of reformatting based on the Biography project template, and I think this is a few steps above a stub now. How did I do?
BodyPride11:07, 27 May 2007 (UTC)reply
Isn't there any public space or allowed to use image? By the way, there are better ways to introduce external images like the one of BBC. Check
Roman-Spartan War.
The article needs a proper structure. For instance, the lead is almost as long as the rest of the article (check
WP:LEAD), and "Marriage and children" is too stubby.
"The death has been widely reported in the press and is notable due to the fear of it inspiring other suicides, [5] the possibility of the web cam footage being made available on the Internet,[6] and discussions over the culpability of web users who encouraged the man.[7]" I think you could expand on all these issues. These are interesting parameters of the incident.
"At the time of his death, he was survived by his former wife, Paula, and 12-year-old twins." If you want to write a proper biography, you should tell us some more things about his life.--
Yannismarou18:29, 4 June 2007 (UTC)reply
I've done a great deal of reformatting based on the Biography project template, and I think this is a few steps above a stub now. How did I do?
BodyPride11:07, 27 May 2007 (UTC)reply
Isn't there any public space or allowed to use image? By the way, there are better ways to introduce external images like the one of BBC. Check
Roman-Spartan War.
The article needs a proper structure. For instance, the lead is almost as long as the rest of the article (check
WP:LEAD), and "Marriage and children" is too stubby.
"The death has been widely reported in the press and is notable due to the fear of it inspiring other suicides, [5] the possibility of the web cam footage being made available on the Internet,[6] and discussions over the culpability of web users who encouraged the man.[7]" I think you could expand on all these issues. These are interesting parameters of the incident.
"At the time of his death, he was survived by his former wife, Paula, and 12-year-old twins." If you want to write a proper biography, you should tell us some more things about his life.--
Yannismarou18:29, 4 June 2007 (UTC)reply