Dannii Minogue is a popular Australian singer, songwriter, actress and fashion designer. I did a massive rewrite on the article and would like a peer review and any suggestion which would improve it to raise it to FA quality. -- Underneath-it-All 04:19, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Very nice. I think it is in the right path for FA status. This is my review:
It's a good article, but there's definitely room for improvement. I like the general structure, the extensive notes, and the lack of obvious fluff (i.e. a "Trivia" section). The article also seems to touch on most of the notable things she's done.
My main criticism of the article is that it's very "descriptive" as opposed to "explanatory." It mainly describes what she has done, but hardly ever explores her motivations for doing so. Thus, the main body of the article gets a bit repetitive with lots of "and then she did this, and then she did that..." constructs. Yes, people are defined by their actions, but a biographical article can be made more interesting by exploring some of the "whys" behind those actions.
My suggestion would be to take a (small) number of Dannii's career moves and personal events, and to try to find out what her reasons were for making those moves, or what her reactions to those events were. The article already does this with her Playboy session, but it could also be applied to (for instance):
You could try to illustrate things by using information gleaned from interviews and other statements she made. This would also have the effect of shifting the article's viewpoint from the predominantly third-person view it has now to a more mixed third/first person view. I think this will help to make the article more involving, personal and interesting.
Some other notes:
Thanks, and good luck! -- Plek 17:59, 1 January 2007 (UTC)
Dannii Minogue is a popular Australian singer, songwriter, actress and fashion designer. I did a massive rewrite on the article and would like a peer review and any suggestion which would improve it to raise it to FA quality. -- Underneath-it-All 04:19, 30 December 2006 (UTC)
Very nice. I think it is in the right path for FA status. This is my review:
It's a good article, but there's definitely room for improvement. I like the general structure, the extensive notes, and the lack of obvious fluff (i.e. a "Trivia" section). The article also seems to touch on most of the notable things she's done.
My main criticism of the article is that it's very "descriptive" as opposed to "explanatory." It mainly describes what she has done, but hardly ever explores her motivations for doing so. Thus, the main body of the article gets a bit repetitive with lots of "and then she did this, and then she did that..." constructs. Yes, people are defined by their actions, but a biographical article can be made more interesting by exploring some of the "whys" behind those actions.
My suggestion would be to take a (small) number of Dannii's career moves and personal events, and to try to find out what her reasons were for making those moves, or what her reactions to those events were. The article already does this with her Playboy session, but it could also be applied to (for instance):
You could try to illustrate things by using information gleaned from interviews and other statements she made. This would also have the effect of shifting the article's viewpoint from the predominantly third-person view it has now to a more mixed third/first person view. I think this will help to make the article more involving, personal and interesting.
Some other notes:
Thanks, and good luck! -- Plek 17:59, 1 January 2007 (UTC)