This article has recently passed GA. As Britney Spears gets so much attention from the media, being one of the most searched names on the internet, and as pop phenomenon, her article should be in top shape, aka FA status.
Oidia (
talk)
14:39, 5 October 2007 (UTC)reply
J Milburn
Ok, looks like a high-quality article. A few small things that could do with fixing-
A number of times, you use the word Spears's. Is this correct? I would spell it Spears', but the article's usage is probably correct.
Not done I've asked about it in the Reference Desk, dicussed it in the talk page. And majority of people agreed that Spears's is the correct term.
Oidia (
talk)
04:57, 6 October 2007 (UTC)reply
The sentence "The album of the same title was released in January 1999, reaching number one on the Billboard 200,[25] and certified Diamond with more than 25 million copies sold worldwide,[26][27] although it received mixed reviews." is horribly clunky. Perhaps it could be broken down a little?
"The success of Spears's music coupled with her controversial image made her one of the year's biggest stars." could do with a reference. Who has said that it was those things that made her a star?
I am not sure that the tours should be in italics; I think they are just meant to be phrased in normal text. I can't see anything that could include tours on the
list of titles to put in italics.
"Spears released her third studio album Britney in November 2001. This was the first album where Spears assumed some creative control by co-writing five of the album's tracks." Can we have a reference for this?
The line "In contrast Rolling Stone said of the album, "Britney" belabors the obvious: "Spears is one month away from entering her twenties and clearly needs to grow up if she's going to bring her fans along."" is a little confusing. Too many quote marks, made slightly worse by the fact I am quoting it here.
"was highlighted by Forbes in 2002" Forbes is the name of the publishing company, and the link leads to that. We have no article for the magazine, but at least call it Forbes Magazine, and remember that, as a periodical, it should be italicised.
"attention and was lauded as her "comeback""- By who? Names, publications, quotes, refs.
Done I didn't exactly mentioned "who" in the article, but I think 3 sources from 3 different countries all saying it is a "comeback" is good enough.
Oidia (
talk)
03:40, 8 October 2007 (UTC)reply
"a media critic noted that Spears seemed confused and disoriented on stage and appeared to have forgotten the lyrics and dance moves to her performance."- Again, who, and who were they writing for?
"On September 18, it was announced that Spears had been dropped by her management company, The Firm."- Is The Firm the name of the company? Why is there no wikilink? Why is it in italics?
"Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that" Rather than linking 'our president' to George Bush, I think it would be better to add [
George Bush] after it.
"On May 28, 2007, Spears made a cameo appearance on the premire of the E! reality show Sunset Tan. There were rumours that she had only appeared because her then-manager Larry Rudolph is one of the co-owners of the shop; a few weeks later, these rumours were confirmed to be true." Urgently need refs for that, otherwise we have a potential
BLP problem. Also, a wikilink to Larry Rudolph would be nice, if we have an article.
"NBC has a show in development reportedly titled Occasional Wife, with Matthew Perry as the lead. This supposed remake of a sitcom of the same name in the 1960's would also star Spears as the opposite since she has tested the role and received positive response."- Refs? Also, I am not sure I like the phrasing of that line, not to mention the misused apostrophe on 1960s.
You might try to cut back on the wikilinks, per MoS, which should be used only when relevant or for dates etc. Such gratuitous examples include: actress, dancer, author, film, divorce, advertising, grade school, manager, contractor, gymnastics, solo, actress (2nd time), Catholic, schoolgirl, Grammy (once is enough, we don't need it every instance), George W. Bush|our president, engagement, nude, school uniform, etc. If
everysinglenouniswikilinked, the
article becomes
nothing but a
sea of
blue.
Jeff Dahl17:57, 5 October 2007 (UTC)reply
Isn't there some requirement that featured articles actually be about something significant, rather than about drugged-out, worthless, washed up, former pop tarts? Just a thought...
Ha! The answer is, "No." These reviews are based on the quality of the content of the article, not the subject of the article. Sorry. :) --
Midnightdreary00:48, 7 October 2007 (UTC)reply
This article has recently passed GA. As Britney Spears gets so much attention from the media, being one of the most searched names on the internet, and as pop phenomenon, her article should be in top shape, aka FA status.
Oidia (
talk)
14:39, 5 October 2007 (UTC)reply
J Milburn
Ok, looks like a high-quality article. A few small things that could do with fixing-
A number of times, you use the word Spears's. Is this correct? I would spell it Spears', but the article's usage is probably correct.
Not done I've asked about it in the Reference Desk, dicussed it in the talk page. And majority of people agreed that Spears's is the correct term.
Oidia (
talk)
04:57, 6 October 2007 (UTC)reply
The sentence "The album of the same title was released in January 1999, reaching number one on the Billboard 200,[25] and certified Diamond with more than 25 million copies sold worldwide,[26][27] although it received mixed reviews." is horribly clunky. Perhaps it could be broken down a little?
"The success of Spears's music coupled with her controversial image made her one of the year's biggest stars." could do with a reference. Who has said that it was those things that made her a star?
I am not sure that the tours should be in italics; I think they are just meant to be phrased in normal text. I can't see anything that could include tours on the
list of titles to put in italics.
"Spears released her third studio album Britney in November 2001. This was the first album where Spears assumed some creative control by co-writing five of the album's tracks." Can we have a reference for this?
The line "In contrast Rolling Stone said of the album, "Britney" belabors the obvious: "Spears is one month away from entering her twenties and clearly needs to grow up if she's going to bring her fans along."" is a little confusing. Too many quote marks, made slightly worse by the fact I am quoting it here.
"was highlighted by Forbes in 2002" Forbes is the name of the publishing company, and the link leads to that. We have no article for the magazine, but at least call it Forbes Magazine, and remember that, as a periodical, it should be italicised.
"attention and was lauded as her "comeback""- By who? Names, publications, quotes, refs.
Done I didn't exactly mentioned "who" in the article, but I think 3 sources from 3 different countries all saying it is a "comeback" is good enough.
Oidia (
talk)
03:40, 8 October 2007 (UTC)reply
"a media critic noted that Spears seemed confused and disoriented on stage and appeared to have forgotten the lyrics and dance moves to her performance."- Again, who, and who were they writing for?
"On September 18, it was announced that Spears had been dropped by her management company, The Firm."- Is The Firm the name of the company? Why is there no wikilink? Why is it in italics?
"Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that" Rather than linking 'our president' to George Bush, I think it would be better to add [
George Bush] after it.
"On May 28, 2007, Spears made a cameo appearance on the premire of the E! reality show Sunset Tan. There were rumours that she had only appeared because her then-manager Larry Rudolph is one of the co-owners of the shop; a few weeks later, these rumours were confirmed to be true." Urgently need refs for that, otherwise we have a potential
BLP problem. Also, a wikilink to Larry Rudolph would be nice, if we have an article.
"NBC has a show in development reportedly titled Occasional Wife, with Matthew Perry as the lead. This supposed remake of a sitcom of the same name in the 1960's would also star Spears as the opposite since she has tested the role and received positive response."- Refs? Also, I am not sure I like the phrasing of that line, not to mention the misused apostrophe on 1960s.
You might try to cut back on the wikilinks, per MoS, which should be used only when relevant or for dates etc. Such gratuitous examples include: actress, dancer, author, film, divorce, advertising, grade school, manager, contractor, gymnastics, solo, actress (2nd time), Catholic, schoolgirl, Grammy (once is enough, we don't need it every instance), George W. Bush|our president, engagement, nude, school uniform, etc. If
everysinglenouniswikilinked, the
article becomes
nothing but a
sea of
blue.
Jeff Dahl17:57, 5 October 2007 (UTC)reply
Isn't there some requirement that featured articles actually be about something significant, rather than about drugged-out, worthless, washed up, former pop tarts? Just a thought...
Ha! The answer is, "No." These reviews are based on the quality of the content of the article, not the subject of the article. Sorry. :) --
Midnightdreary00:48, 7 October 2007 (UTC)reply