Toolbox |
---|
![]() | This peer review discussion is closed. |
I've listed this article for peer review because I have made a large portion of its contributions (I'm the page creator and the only one to edit it this year) so it would be beneficial to get a second set of eyes.
Thanks! –– FORMALDUDE( talk) 07:11, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
Hello, and I have edited the article a bit to weed out promotional tone. Here's the list of stuff that you can improve:
The Utah Girls Football League gained national acclaim when it started in 2015. It has seen nationwide news coverage. The league has received both praise and criticism.maybe need paraphrased to get rid of promotional tones. Quotes should be rephrased as well, and not italicized.
Deputy Commissioner, Treasurer, Safety Coordinator, Marketing Coordinator, Web Developer, Coaching Coordinator, and League Secretary.
ever, even taken, simply reported, etc.and remove vagueness/redundancy, such as
... who played and suffered a range of experiences ..., replace it with
... who played and suffered assault and exclusion.
@ FormalDude: Are you still interested in getting comments for this article? If you are looking for more information to add to the article, I suggest looking in WP:LIBRARY, Google Scholar, or in databases provided by your local library system. Let me know if you have any questions. Z1720 ( talk) 15:08, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Toolbox |
---|
![]() | This peer review discussion is closed. |
I've listed this article for peer review because I have made a large portion of its contributions (I'm the page creator and the only one to edit it this year) so it would be beneficial to get a second set of eyes.
Thanks! –– FORMALDUDE( talk) 07:11, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
Hello, and I have edited the article a bit to weed out promotional tone. Here's the list of stuff that you can improve:
The Utah Girls Football League gained national acclaim when it started in 2015. It has seen nationwide news coverage. The league has received both praise and criticism.maybe need paraphrased to get rid of promotional tones. Quotes should be rephrased as well, and not italicized.
Deputy Commissioner, Treasurer, Safety Coordinator, Marketing Coordinator, Web Developer, Coaching Coordinator, and League Secretary.
ever, even taken, simply reported, etc.and remove vagueness/redundancy, such as
... who played and suffered a range of experiences ..., replace it with
... who played and suffered assault and exclusion.
@ FormalDude: Are you still interested in getting comments for this article? If you are looking for more information to add to the article, I suggest looking in WP:LIBRARY, Google Scholar, or in databases provided by your local library system. Let me know if you have any questions. Z1720 ( talk) 15:08, 16 November 2021 (UTC)