This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to see it be promoted to FA one of these days. I've poured quite a bit of energy into it, and any suggestions would be great.
Comments by Sarastro
The main issue to work on with regard to FA would be prose; a few examples of redundancy, but generally pretty good. May be worth a last copy-edit and polish.
"The episode generally received positive reviews, with critics calling it a classic, and by others as the most striking stand-alone episode of that season.": Something not quite right here: "by others as" bears no relation to the rest of the sentence.
"Later, Dr. Pollidori's wife Elizabeth becomes unconscious…": Presumably "is knocked unconscious"?
"Old Man Pollidori": "Old Man"? And maybe not quite clear that this is a different Pollidori to the one mentioned earlier.
"In a fanciful, if not imagined, scene…": Who says it is fanciful, and why might it be imagined?
"Carter had long wanted to write a Frankenstein-inspired episode, but had found it difficult to reconcile Mary Shelley's unbelievable tale with the stories being told on the show.": Redundancy: "[Previously], Carter had long wanted to write a Frankenstein-inspired episode, but had found it difficult to reconcile Mary Shelley's unbelievable tale with the stories being told on [style of] the show."
"To achieve his vision, he chose to write[wrote] a script that blurred the real world with the X-Files reality and that had a distinct fantasy element."
"Carter sought to evoke elements": Maybe "Carter sought to echo…" Rather than evoke. Or invoke.
"Following the episode's premiere, there was much fan speculation on the internet on[fans speculated] whether nor not Cher actually appeared in the episode"
"that Carter often frequented": "often frequented by Carter"
"Initial versions of the costume were deemed "too human looking" and so a newer design was settled upon.": "…was chosen"?
"Lindala was happy that the episode was filmed in black and white because it helped "the prosthetic [because] it is difficult to work in a foam piece that long and not recognize it as a painted, opaque, false translucency."": Repetition of because.
"where she picks him out of the crowd to dance with her."
"Despite her physical absence from the episode, Cher's presence can be felt throughout the narrative.[15] In the episode…": Episode…episode. Maybe cut "In the episode".
"In the episode, Cher's "flamboyant and self-authored body" is used as a metaphor for "the possibility of self-transformation".[15][6]": Ref order?
"In the episode, Cher's "flamboyant and self-authored body" is used as a metaphor for "the possibility of self-transformation".[15][6] In addition, her voice, heard via songs like "Walking in Memphis", is associated with the idea of "circumvent[ing] patriarchy."[6]": All of this needs in-text attribution, or it looks a little like editorial voice.
"Negra notes that Cher's music is used in scenes during the Great Mutato's sexual encounters with woman, usually under the shroud of the pesticide tenting.": A little odd; to what does the "usually under the shroud of the pesticide tenting" refer? The music or the sexual encounter? Not really necessary either way.
"but rather the fanciful and elaborate happy ending that was concocted by the writer": What writer? And this seems a little odd, to be honest. Was it suggested in the episode, or is it just an off-the-wall suggestion?
In "Ratings and accolades", we have a rather long, uncomfortable list of people and awards that makes for hard reading.
"Eric Mink gave the episode a rating of four stars and praised it as an outstanding episode in a weak early fifth season of the show. He said that the two stars acted": Repetition of stars makes for a little misunderstanding. Maybe replace latter with "leads"?
Some of the reviews seem to come from low-key places. Is there nothing more heavyweight?
"Go ahead and watch it; you'll have a good time": Is this needed in the quote?
For me, the retrospect section is a little long, and begins to drag. Do we need so many reviews and viewpoints?
I have not spot-checked sources or considered images. Also, I am not an X-Files expert at all, although I occasionally watched it.
I do not watch peer reviews, so please ping me with any problems or questions.
Sarastro1 (
talk) 22:13, 26 August 2012 (UTC)reply
There are some value judgements in article and they are not supported by inline citations. It is unacceptable for featured articles. One should provide a citations on the high-quality reliable sources in every such a case or make text more neutral, in my opinion. --
Heller2007 (
talk) 05:48, 27 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I believe I have addressed all the issues. As for the "value judgements", where exactly? I tried to add references to everything that seems disputable. If you're referring to the "fanciful ending", I added references.--Gen. Quon(Talk) 03:46, 28 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I mean that every bit of information that contains any assessment should be provided with a citations on the high-quality reliable sources. For example, the article contains the following statements without any citations: "The Post-Modern Prometheus" received mostly positive reviews...(how was this estimate obtained?), Many reviews even called the entry a classic... (what is "many"?), and some other. There are two ways to fix this problem. One can provide a citations or rewrite text in more neutral form. For example, "The Post-Modern Prometheus" received a positive review by Mike Duffy... instead of "The Post-Modern Prometheus" received mostly positive reviews... or something like that. --
Heller2007 (
talk) 05:29, 28 August 2012 (UTC)reply
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to see it be promoted to FA one of these days. I've poured quite a bit of energy into it, and any suggestions would be great.
Comments by Sarastro
The main issue to work on with regard to FA would be prose; a few examples of redundancy, but generally pretty good. May be worth a last copy-edit and polish.
"The episode generally received positive reviews, with critics calling it a classic, and by others as the most striking stand-alone episode of that season.": Something not quite right here: "by others as" bears no relation to the rest of the sentence.
"Later, Dr. Pollidori's wife Elizabeth becomes unconscious…": Presumably "is knocked unconscious"?
"Old Man Pollidori": "Old Man"? And maybe not quite clear that this is a different Pollidori to the one mentioned earlier.
"In a fanciful, if not imagined, scene…": Who says it is fanciful, and why might it be imagined?
"Carter had long wanted to write a Frankenstein-inspired episode, but had found it difficult to reconcile Mary Shelley's unbelievable tale with the stories being told on the show.": Redundancy: "[Previously], Carter had long wanted to write a Frankenstein-inspired episode, but had found it difficult to reconcile Mary Shelley's unbelievable tale with the stories being told on [style of] the show."
"To achieve his vision, he chose to write[wrote] a script that blurred the real world with the X-Files reality and that had a distinct fantasy element."
"Carter sought to evoke elements": Maybe "Carter sought to echo…" Rather than evoke. Or invoke.
"Following the episode's premiere, there was much fan speculation on the internet on[fans speculated] whether nor not Cher actually appeared in the episode"
"that Carter often frequented": "often frequented by Carter"
"Initial versions of the costume were deemed "too human looking" and so a newer design was settled upon.": "…was chosen"?
"Lindala was happy that the episode was filmed in black and white because it helped "the prosthetic [because] it is difficult to work in a foam piece that long and not recognize it as a painted, opaque, false translucency."": Repetition of because.
"where she picks him out of the crowd to dance with her."
"Despite her physical absence from the episode, Cher's presence can be felt throughout the narrative.[15] In the episode…": Episode…episode. Maybe cut "In the episode".
"In the episode, Cher's "flamboyant and self-authored body" is used as a metaphor for "the possibility of self-transformation".[15][6]": Ref order?
"In the episode, Cher's "flamboyant and self-authored body" is used as a metaphor for "the possibility of self-transformation".[15][6] In addition, her voice, heard via songs like "Walking in Memphis", is associated with the idea of "circumvent[ing] patriarchy."[6]": All of this needs in-text attribution, or it looks a little like editorial voice.
"Negra notes that Cher's music is used in scenes during the Great Mutato's sexual encounters with woman, usually under the shroud of the pesticide tenting.": A little odd; to what does the "usually under the shroud of the pesticide tenting" refer? The music or the sexual encounter? Not really necessary either way.
"but rather the fanciful and elaborate happy ending that was concocted by the writer": What writer? And this seems a little odd, to be honest. Was it suggested in the episode, or is it just an off-the-wall suggestion?
In "Ratings and accolades", we have a rather long, uncomfortable list of people and awards that makes for hard reading.
"Eric Mink gave the episode a rating of four stars and praised it as an outstanding episode in a weak early fifth season of the show. He said that the two stars acted": Repetition of stars makes for a little misunderstanding. Maybe replace latter with "leads"?
Some of the reviews seem to come from low-key places. Is there nothing more heavyweight?
"Go ahead and watch it; you'll have a good time": Is this needed in the quote?
For me, the retrospect section is a little long, and begins to drag. Do we need so many reviews and viewpoints?
I have not spot-checked sources or considered images. Also, I am not an X-Files expert at all, although I occasionally watched it.
I do not watch peer reviews, so please ping me with any problems or questions.
Sarastro1 (
talk) 22:13, 26 August 2012 (UTC)reply
There are some value judgements in article and they are not supported by inline citations. It is unacceptable for featured articles. One should provide a citations on the high-quality reliable sources in every such a case or make text more neutral, in my opinion. --
Heller2007 (
talk) 05:48, 27 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I believe I have addressed all the issues. As for the "value judgements", where exactly? I tried to add references to everything that seems disputable. If you're referring to the "fanciful ending", I added references.--Gen. Quon(Talk) 03:46, 28 August 2012 (UTC)reply
I mean that every bit of information that contains any assessment should be provided with a citations on the high-quality reliable sources. For example, the article contains the following statements without any citations: "The Post-Modern Prometheus" received mostly positive reviews...(how was this estimate obtained?), Many reviews even called the entry a classic... (what is "many"?), and some other. There are two ways to fix this problem. One can provide a citations or rewrite text in more neutral form. For example, "The Post-Modern Prometheus" received a positive review by Mike Duffy... instead of "The Post-Modern Prometheus" received mostly positive reviews... or something like that. --
Heller2007 (
talk) 05:29, 28 August 2012 (UTC)reply