This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel that this could become a Good Article with a little more modification. Thanks,
Novice7 Talk14:26, 2 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Wow! You've done a really good job. I've been meaning to expand this article for a long time. I don't really have anything to say about it really. I've never peer reviewed before, I just wanted to say that. xDΣПDiПG–STΛЯT (
talk ·
contribs)
21:17, 2 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Background and composition should be in two sections, same as live performances and music video. Not sure the in popular culture section is relevant. And that's really all I can see.
ΣПDiПG–STΛЯT (
talk ·
contribs)
21:11, 3 December 2010 (UTC)reply
The music video screenshot does not really meet
WP:NFCC, so it should be removed. I don't know anything about the songs, so there may be a more notable scene, but you do not need a screenshot
See if you can do a bit more research on the video to expand it
Discogs is not a
reliable source, as it is user-created. Try to ind track listings on Amazon, Allmusic or iTunes
"After signing with Buena Vista Records, Duff recorded songs like "I Can't Wait", "Why Not" and "What Dreams Are Made Of" which became hits on Radio Disney." unsourced, you cannot say they were hits, did they even chart?
Composition section is too short, it must be expanded if possible, if not the audio sample should be deleted.
"Upon its release, the song received mainly positive reviews from the critics"... That is incorrect, reading the section it received more so mixed reviews.
"It received airplay on MuchMusic in Canada." is unsourced. And not really notable.
Throughout the article there is a number of issues with relevance, what makes AOL so relavent in the Chart Performance section. Onlly real charts are needed, billboard and such.
Thanks for your comments. I've fixed those. About composition, what is Duff's statement on the song is added from the Background section? Would it fit?
Novice7 Talk05:17, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
I don't see why the "In pop culture" is really necessary. If you find it necessary, it should be in prose style, instead of a listing.
CrowzRSA01:49, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
She then decided she would "give [the song] 100 percent" I think this should be changed to She then decided she would give the song a "100 percent".
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
She then decided she would "give [the song] 100 percent" and not comment negatively of it, and, as she put it, she "ended up loving it", stating, "It was such a fun song, and it means a lot. This should be split into two separate sentences.
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Make sure that periods are inside of quotes (i.e. "work that she's done". → "work that she's done.") this is not the same for songs though (i.e. both "So Yesterday." and "So Yesterday". are fine)
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
The song is also featured on all of Duff's greatest hits compilations including, Most Wanted (2005), 4ever (2006) and Best of Hilary Duff (2008). It is also featured on the popular music video game Band Hero as a bonus download.[4] This does not belong in the background section. Perhaps in the Release and reception section.
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 13 additive terms, a bit too much.
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
The second to last paragraph in the background talks of themes in the song (which is part of its Composition with the writing and music). So really that paragraph and the one that talks about musical influences and could be split into the composition. Candyo3214:21, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Wow, great work! Just woke up so I'm a little tired and may not be able to spot a lot (I may come back here later when I'm more awake/aware), but the only thing I can spot right now is in the lead: "The song was written by the record production team Lauren Christy, Scott Spock, Graham Edwards, and Charlie Midnight, and produced by The Matrix for Duff's second studio album, Metamorphosis (2003)." The Matrix is the record production team, while the writers are only part of it (except Charlie Midnight, I think). –Chase (
talk /
contribs)
16:50, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel that this could become a Good Article with a little more modification. Thanks,
Novice7 Talk14:26, 2 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Wow! You've done a really good job. I've been meaning to expand this article for a long time. I don't really have anything to say about it really. I've never peer reviewed before, I just wanted to say that. xDΣПDiПG–STΛЯT (
talk ·
contribs)
21:17, 2 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Background and composition should be in two sections, same as live performances and music video. Not sure the in popular culture section is relevant. And that's really all I can see.
ΣПDiПG–STΛЯT (
talk ·
contribs)
21:11, 3 December 2010 (UTC)reply
The music video screenshot does not really meet
WP:NFCC, so it should be removed. I don't know anything about the songs, so there may be a more notable scene, but you do not need a screenshot
See if you can do a bit more research on the video to expand it
Discogs is not a
reliable source, as it is user-created. Try to ind track listings on Amazon, Allmusic or iTunes
"After signing with Buena Vista Records, Duff recorded songs like "I Can't Wait", "Why Not" and "What Dreams Are Made Of" which became hits on Radio Disney." unsourced, you cannot say they were hits, did they even chart?
Composition section is too short, it must be expanded if possible, if not the audio sample should be deleted.
"Upon its release, the song received mainly positive reviews from the critics"... That is incorrect, reading the section it received more so mixed reviews.
"It received airplay on MuchMusic in Canada." is unsourced. And not really notable.
Throughout the article there is a number of issues with relevance, what makes AOL so relavent in the Chart Performance section. Onlly real charts are needed, billboard and such.
Thanks for your comments. I've fixed those. About composition, what is Duff's statement on the song is added from the Background section? Would it fit?
Novice7 Talk05:17, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
I don't see why the "In pop culture" is really necessary. If you find it necessary, it should be in prose style, instead of a listing.
CrowzRSA01:49, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
She then decided she would "give [the song] 100 percent" I think this should be changed to She then decided she would give the song a "100 percent".
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
She then decided she would "give [the song] 100 percent" and not comment negatively of it, and, as she put it, she "ended up loving it", stating, "It was such a fun song, and it means a lot. This should be split into two separate sentences.
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Make sure that periods are inside of quotes (i.e. "work that she's done". → "work that she's done.") this is not the same for songs though (i.e. both "So Yesterday." and "So Yesterday". are fine)
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
The song is also featured on all of Duff's greatest hits compilations including, Most Wanted (2005), 4ever (2006) and Best of Hilary Duff (2008). It is also featured on the popular music video game Band Hero as a bonus download.[4] This does not belong in the background section. Perhaps in the Release and reception section.
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 13 additive terms, a bit too much.
CrowzRSA19:29, 5 December 2010 (UTC)reply
The second to last paragraph in the background talks of themes in the song (which is part of its Composition with the writing and music). So really that paragraph and the one that talks about musical influences and could be split into the composition. Candyo3214:21, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply
Wow, great work! Just woke up so I'm a little tired and may not be able to spot a lot (I may come back here later when I'm more awake/aware), but the only thing I can spot right now is in the lead: "The song was written by the record production team Lauren Christy, Scott Spock, Graham Edwards, and Charlie Midnight, and produced by The Matrix for Duff's second studio album, Metamorphosis (2003)." The Matrix is the record production team, while the writers are only part of it (except Charlie Midnight, I think). –Chase (
talk /
contribs)
16:50, 4 December 2010 (UTC)reply